Sometimes I like to believe that I don’t exist.

Sometimes I like to stop everything that I’m doing and just lay down on my bed.
I like the feeling I get when my flustered mind suddenly becomes so empty.

As I close my eyes all of my responsibilities and worries leave my side for a moment. All I can hear is the buzzing sound of the heater to keep up with the frigid weather. I can feel the crumpled sheets of my undone bed underneath me. I feel my eyes twitching slightly as they get the rest they were waiting for. I feel all of my muscles relaxing and my intakes of air becoming deeper and more audible. I am by myself in a place where nothing and no one exists.
I feel at ease.

But then my phone rings.

And suddenly the buzzing of my heater seems too loud and the air in the room seems to suffocate me. Different thoughts fill my head as they remind me that there is still so much to be done. And all I can do is open my eyes and glare at the device that ruined my peace. I sigh deeply as I get up from my bed and leave my paradise.
With heavy steps I walk up to the table and check my phone.
“Are you still alive, beautiful?”
And I feel a smile crawl up my face as I text back to Jongin.

He makes me happy that I do exist.