Packing

My Angel

  So far JunQ was having a great day. Firat he got a very large raise at Seoul Cooking, today was the day that he and ChaeJin would move into their new condo, and CheaJin was being as helpful with this move as a six-year-old could be. 

 

  Currently JunQ was packing the last of the very many photo albums and other items the belonged to his mother that were strung about the house randomely. All of a sudden JunQ heard a loud crash resonate through the condo. The noise sounded like a glass bottle being thrown down harshly on the concrete. Immediately JunQ jumped up and ran to the kitchen, thinking that was the only place where glass was easily reachable to ChaeJin.  

  

  "Umma!" JunQ heard ChaeJin call for him from behind the island counter. JunQ rushed to ChaeJins side, careful to avoid the shards of glass that were littered on the floor. ChaeJin was laying his stomach,using his left hand to hold his right hand which had small pieces of glass poking out of of his skin. The glass wasn't deep enough to cause any serious damage, but to a six-year-old kid it seemed like some one had shot him and he was slowly bleeding to death. There was a large scrape on ChaeJins knee and the few drops of blood that driped down from the scrape and puncture wounds on his hands were scaring ChaeJin even more than the amout of pain coming from his hand to his shoulder.

 

  "Uuuuummaaaaaaaaa....!" ChaeJin half sobbed half whimpered out as the stream of tears running down his face got thicker and heavier as they rolled down his puffed up cheeks. JunQ lightly gasped in worry as his 'umma'-instinct took over. JunQ carefully picks up ChaeJin, stands up, and walks over to the cleaner side of the island counter before setting ChaeJin on the surface of it. 

 

  "Wait right here for Umma, okay?" JunQ paused for a minute, but continued when ChaeJin nodded. "I will be right back to make all of your owies go away, alright?" Again JunQ waited, but this time when ChaeJin nodded JunQ held up ChaeJin's small fringe as he kissed ChaeJin's forehead. 

 

  "Alright, now don't move your hand too much." And with that said JunQ sprinted to his and ChaeJin's bedroom to search for the first aid kit that JunQ's mother would keep in there just incase something happened while she wasn't home. JunQ searched through the closet for a few minutes, frustrated that he couldn't find it and the fact that the room seemed to be getting warmer and warmer with each passing second. Something caught JunQ's eyes from teh corner of the small closet. Quickly JunQ pushed away the clothes and papers that were cluttered on top of the box and grabbed the slightly dirty white box with a red plus sign on each side. As soon as the box was in JunQ's hands he ran back to ChaeJin who was crying, but not as hard as before. 

 

  "CheaJin, I'm going to need you to be as still as you can while I patch you up, but I also need you to tell Umma what happened." JunQ instructed ChaeJin as he opened the first aid kit and searched for some tweezers and some disinfectant spray. 

 

  "W-Well....I-I was in me a-and Umma's woom...I was waying down on d-da fwoor..." ChaeJin winced a little when JunQ pulled out a small shard of glass from his palm, but then continued as JunQ pulled out more pieces. "...a-and I gawt dhirsty s-so I gawt up and went into da k-kitchen to get water..." ChaeJin started to talk faster inbetween choked sobs, sniffles, and gasps for breath. "B-But when I weached for da cup I swipped a-and I knawck-ed all da cups awff when I f-fawlled down..." ChaeJin bursted into tears at the end of story. "I.....I-I'm so-so-sowwy, Umma!" 

 

    JunQ sighed as he got the last of the glass out of ChaeJin's hand and started to spray the disinfectant over the small wounds. "It's okay, Jinnie. But next time I want you to ask me for help when you need something okay?" 

 

  "O-Okay, Umma...I will next time..." ChaeJin looked away as he wiped his eyes and nose after finally managing to stop crying. JunQ wrapped ChaeJin's hand in a layer of protective gauze. After he tied a cute bow on the top of ChaeJin's hand and kissed it to make the 'owie' go away, JunQ cleaned ChaeJin's knee, sprayed it with the disinfectant spray, then opened a band aid and delicately laid it over the scrape.

 

  "There." JunQ said satisfied with the way he helped ChaeJin. "Now that you're all cleaned up why don't you go wait for Umma our bedroom. Pick out a movie to watch while I clean up in here." JunQ picked ChaeJin up, hugged him, then set him down on the floor before cleaning up the counter top.

 

  "...um....U-Umma...?" ChaeJin asked as he tugged lightly on JunQ's pant leg.

 

  "Yes, ChaeJinnie?"

 

  "...Do...Do yew hate me now...?" ChaeJin asked looking up at JunQ with dark brown eyes filled with curiosity, hurt, confusion, and love.

 

  "Of course not! I could never hate you, ChaeJin! You will always be number one in my heart!" JunQ crouched down and smiled at ChaeJin.

 

  "Weawy?" ChaeJin smiled, turning his eyes into to creasent moons, as he wrapped his arms around JunQ's neck.

 

  "Really." JunQ replied hugging ChaeJin once again. When CheaJin let go of JunQ's neck and pulled back he took a deep breath then leaned forward and lightly kissed JunQ on his left cheek. 

 

  "I wuv you, Umma!" ChaeJin said loudly as though he wanted the world to hear him.

 

  "I love you too, ChaeJinnie." JunQ said just as loudly before kissing ChaeJin on the right cheek and fore head. "Now go find your favorite movie, I'll be there in a few minutes."

 

  "Okay, Umma~" ChaeJin repplied before joyfully running into their shared bedroom.

 

  JunQ walked to the closet in the hallway, pulled out a broom and a dust pan, walked back to the kitchen and sweeped up the broken glass and threw it away. After he put away the broom and dust pan, before going into the bedroom where ChaeJin was waiting holding a disc towards him.

 

  "What movie did you choose, Jinnie?" JunQ asked while walking over to ChaeJin to take the disc from his hands.

 

  "Da Wittwe Mermaid!" ChaeJin exclaimed happily.

 

  "Of course you did. Are you sure you're my little brother and not my little sister

 

  "Of course I'm a boy! Girls are icky! Dey have coodies!"

 

   "Alright, fair enough" JunQ said as he set up the movie and layed down with ChaeJin who quickly got comfortable snuggle up against his side.

 

  Half way thrrough the movie both ChaeJin and JunQ fell asleep snuggled up against each other.

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Amalya
#1
Chapter 11: Interesting story overall. It's not typical and I rather enjoyed the way you had the setup of JunQ and ChaeJin being brothers; the same thing with GunWoo and SeYong. They make rather adorable siblings any which way you look at it. Poor Insoo being left alone except as a sort of adopted brother. hehe

One of my big questions currently would be, when did their mother die? Maybe I'm being picky about details, but usually, if neither of the children are 'adults,' they tend to go to a close relative. I also felt it was strange for ChaeJin to perpetually call JunQ 'Umma.' I mean, he had a mother previously, so shouldn't he still be big brother, unless ChaeJin was just an infant at the time, which would bring me back to the first question.

Beyond that, the story moved a little fast and it felt like they all became really close almost immediately. There was lots of blushing and ducking of heads and 'want to see him again' thoughts pretty much right off the bat. It was cute, but it felt a little forced. haha Moving on, I think the idea was nice though. Having JunQ meet InSoo and all that made for a good pairing and there was a lot of ground to build on between them. The fluffy bits of SeYong and ChaeJin were stupidly adorable and almost ridiculous in their extremes but some kids are like that. lol

I'm inclined to like the alternate ending more, not just because it's less depressing, but because it makes more sense in my head. I'll get to that in a second. You could certainly build a sequel off of either but I would recommend slowing things down and taking your time more. You don't have to power through the story in as short a space of time as possible. Let the characters grow and develop a bit. Feel free to give us more insight from their perspective too. Your inserts are humorous at times, but they do somewhat detract from the focus of the story.

Cont...
DGNA_Forever
#2
I just saw your poster. I LOVE IT!!<3
DGNA_Forever
#3
Chapter 11: I loved this ending, too. It was sweet and cute. I would love to see a sequel to either one, and this story is great. Thank you! Saranghae<3.
InQ-Fluffy-King
#4
Chapter 11: INQ SMUFF INQ SMUFF INQ SMUFF INQ SMUFF INQ SMUFF!!!!!
Plz and thank you senpai
DGNA_Forever
#5
Chapter 10: It was a beautiful, wonderful, sad journey and I loved the story. It was beautifully written. Thank you for writing it. Saranghae<3.
NurulHs_
#6
Chapter 10: I really like the story. Its so cute and sad in the end, good job author-nim.
DGNA_Forever
#7
Chapter 9: I'm in shock right now...You killed them!! WOW...Nice update, though. I can't wait to see where you will go from here. My babies, though...*cries*<3<3.
InQ-Fluffy-King
#8
Chapter 9: WHYYYYYY!!!! WHY SIWONS GOD WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
DGNA_Forever
#9
Chapter 8: Yah! I was reading and you end on a damn cliff-hanger? Boo...I like how InSoo isn't shy about kissing JunQ, at all. This chapter was nice...until the cliff-hanger:( Evil. Update soon, please:)