Scene: a quiet square in fair Verona. Just kidding. A large, open living room. The lights are dimmed, so that the roaring fire in the fireplace is the only source of light. A young woman of Spanish descent (though she looks more Greek than anything) named Andi sits in a deep burgundy armchair, her legs crossed. In front of her, an antique desk. Papers are scattered across the surface. In her right hand, she holds a quill and seems to be absorbed in whatever she may be writing.

In the top right corner, there is a plain white door. Along the walls are picture frames and hanging medals, origins unknown. The young woman looks up and notices the audience.

Andi: Oh, hello there, gentle viewers. (She sets down quill and smiles) I believe you caught me right in the midst of writing an epic tale. Isn't it absolutely marvelous to lose yourself in the words that seem to flow from your brain onto the paper? Imagining the hero, engaged in a battle with a ferocious dragon, incapable of escaping from the beast so he must fight...the damsel in distress crying out for him...the dragon snorting fiery breaths...ah, magical. Come with me now, if you will, gentle viewers. Join me in an adventure I'd like to call-

A shout from offstage is heard.

???: WAIT. HOLD IT. HOLD EVERYTHING.

Andi: (sighing) Oh, no. He's here.

Lights turn on in the room, ruining the cozy atmosphere. Looking exasperated, Andi uncrosses her legs and prepares to deal with the onslaught of a certain Slayer fanatic. A young blond man enters through the plain door, chest heaving as if he had been running a marathon. His name is Andrew.

Andi: Hello, Andrew. How can I help you?

Andrew: (pointing a shaking finger at her) That...that is my monologue! You stole my monologue.

Andi: We spoke about this, dear. As long as I used my own words and I ditch the robe and the pipe and the stupid way you say vampires-

Andrew: Ah ah! It's vampyrs.

Andi: (sardonically) Right. That word. I wasn't supposed to use it, though I have no need to. None of these stories deal with vampires.

Andrew:(stammering) ...but...ah...but...!

Andi: Shush now. (She directs her attention back to the audience) I am so very sorry for the intrusion, ladies and gentlemen. This is Andrew...he is the younger brother of Tucker, whom we all remembered was responsible for nearly ruining the class of 1999's senior prom. Luckily, the Slayer was able to save everyone from being eaten before the dance could really take off. Andrew here has been on her team ever since...though what he's doing back in the states is anyone's guess.

Andrew: (mumbling) I am here on a top secret mission from Mr. Giles...thank you very much...

Andi: (ignoring him) Well, now! Everyone, I would like to call your attention to this oneshot collection of mine. You see, I love to write. It is one of my favorite pasttimes. I also love to share what I write with others. For your convenience, the tales that are called oneshots are being brought together in this collection; now you just have to go here and look up whatever you may wish to read! I shall keep a masterlist going so that you will not have to go through every single chapter because you don't remember where each oneshot is located. I'm nice like that.

Suddenly, a loud crash. Angel and Spike enter from stage right, gasping. A large sword sticks out of Angel's back. Another crash sounds. From stage left enter Sam and Dean Winchester, firearms loaded and aimed directly at Spike and Angel. Yet another loud noise echoes from offstage. Through the plain door, Mal enters, gun aloft and snarky smirk on his face. Behind him is a very confused-looking Eleventh Doctor holding what appears to be a Goliath Tigerfish.

Spike: What the blood hell is going on?!

Angel: (pained) Someone get this sword out of my back...

Sam his shotgun, scaring the two into silence. Even for a vampire, a gunshot hurts something terrible.

Dean: I don't think so, ladies.

The Doctor: OI! Anyone care to explain what's going on? I mean, I can quite obviously see a sword in that man's back, and you two are holding guns, and I seem to be holding a fish-

Mal: Everything doesn't seem so shiny here.

Andi: (sighing yet again) Mother in heaven, what did I ever do to deserve this?

Though not all the stories will be rated H, I am still marking them as such so that I won't get into any trouble with Nichi or the mods. I'll put (Rated) next in the title of any oneshot that is; if it's not marked as such, it is open to all readers of all ages. Most of these stories...will be featuring Hani and Midori...and almost all of them will have members of DBSK/JYJ. Perhaps I'll get around to writing more oneshots about others.

THIS IS NOT A ONESHOT REQUEST SHOP THING. I do not take requests; I give out gifts randomly, not on demand. Don't ask me to write you a oneshot, because I won't...and I may block you out of sheer irritation. If I decide to take requests, I'll make a note here. That is the end of that.

I do hope you all enjoy these oneshots! The Force is with you, and may the odds be ever in your favor!