She woke up confused the next morning, and then grew alarmed over the whereabouts of the only mitten she had. The movement when she sat up abruptly startled Baekhyun awake, and the man groggily asked what was wrong when she felt the mitten in her palm. Thank God I held onto it. Clenching her fist, she got out of bed and discreetly stuffed it into her usual purse. Baekhyun couldn’t know about the mitten, she didn’t know the reason why, but he just couldn’t.

After checking the time, she went into the closet to prepare her clothes, and Baekhyun said something about today being Saturday, to which she responded curtly she still had something to settle. Baekhyun offered to drive her, but when she told him he could barely even keep his eyes open, he shut up and rather readily went back to sleep, mumbling a soft apology as he fell back into the soft pillow.

On her way out, she received a text message from Minseok that he was already waiting by the main road. The walk was short, and she found herself seated in the familiar car soon enough.

"Why do you live so far out?" He asked as they began driving to the ballroom for inspection.

"Oh… My husband wanted to live in houses like those," she replied, pointing to one of the many terrace houses lined up.

"You guys must be rich, what does your husband do?"

Her head automatically lowered, and she suddenly found her fingers a lot more interesting than the conversation. “He’s a businessman. I don’t know much details, I don’t really ask.”

"He must be really open-minded, huh? If he’s so approving of you working with me like this. Either that or are all husbands usually this… I don’t know, not worried?"

"You think married couples are jealous and hormone-driven high schoolers who jump at every opportunity to mark their territory?" She replied, amused. "It’s not that he’s not worried, he just doesn’t know."

"Doesn’t know? You make him sound so distant and mysterious… Does he love you?"

"Yeah he does," she murmured. The question isn’t if he loves me or not, it’s whether I love him. Baekhyun isn’t the distant and mysterious one, it’s me, Minseok, me.

"Being in a relationship sounds nice…"

She fought not to cringe.

"You’ve never been in one?" She asked, just for the sake of keeping the conversation going.

Minseok chuckled. “I just… Like my freedom? Not needing to answer to anyone, not needing to think about anyone’s feelings except my own.”

"What’s it like?" She asked, and Minseok glanced at her. "Living in freedom?"

"The way you ask that question makes me suspicious."

Her skin prickled and she laughed nervously. “I married young, so I’m just curious as to how it’s like.”

"Married young? How young?"

"The age where teenagers sit for the most important exam in their life."

"Exam…? N- Nineteen?! You married when you were nineteen?"

"Surprising, isn’t it?"

"I’m sorry, I should’ve watched my reaction. Was it a shotgun marriage?"

Her breath hitched.

"Oh , sorry, that was rude, I’m sorry. You don’t have to answer that."

"No…" She muttered. "It’s okay. Yes, it was a shotgun marriage. He knocked me up."

"Oh my God. I’m sorry if my reaction is too honest, this is the first time I’ve heard something like this."

"It’s okay. Strangely, I feel compelled to tell you everything. Which I shouldn’t, considering how I don’t know much about you."

"I get that, but… You can trust me. I only have a handful of friends, and they’re all guys, even if I told them anything about you, they’d probably forget it the next day." Minseok paused and tilted his head. "I don’t know why I’m trying to justify myself."

"The weight of this secret is difficult to bear, though. Are you up for it?"

"Have you told anyone?"

"No. Nobody knows."

"That’s… Pressurizing. But I’ll listen to you, and I’ll keep your secret safe. I swear."

"Really?" She asked softly, looking at him.

Minseok turned and glanced at her. “Really.”

"I must be drunk," she said, laughing a little. "If I was myself I wouldn’t have said this much at all."

"If you’d like to tell me, then I’ll listen, and whatever said in this car stays in this car. But if you don’t want to, then that’s okay too."

"We were friends since the second year of high school. He wasn’t very popular with the other kids, so when I started hanging out with him, people thought he was blackmailing me or something, and said ridiculous things like they’d help me come up with a plan to shake him off. Obviously I ignored them, we were good friends and he made me happy. In third year, I said I wanted to visit a club, because I’d never been to one before. So he took me there. When he left for a while, some kind looking guy came up to me and offered me a drink.

"You know, when you’re nineteen you’re pretty stupid, so I took the drink. He came back and the stranger ran off immediately. But the effect of the drinks were already kicking in, and I guess he must’ve brought me home because that’s where I woke up. A few months later, I noticed signs and decided to check. I told him I was pregnant and he said he’d take care of me. I was thankful, of course, that he didn’t run away, but… There were so many things I had to give up because of that baby. And yeah, we got married, now this is who I am."

"So your child is four now? Boy or girl?"

"Boy. He would be four if I hadn’t miscarried five months into pregnancy," she said, trying to sound as at ease as possible because she knew Minseok would be uncomfortable.

"I’m so sorry."

"It’s okay, it was so long ago."

"You asked me what is was like, living in freedom," Minseok said as the car came to a stop in the hotel parking lot. "But what fun would it be to simply tell you?"

The smile on his face made her feel a tiny bit warm.

"But before anything, we have a ballroom to inspect. So let’s get going." Minseok pulled the key out of the ignition and stepped out. She followed and shut the door. Her head felt light, as if she had been shaken out of a reverie. She felt something leave her, she couldn’t put a finger on it, but whatever it was, it didn’t make her feel good. Then realization hit her, and the panic which she should have felt the second Minseok started talking about her husband finally filled her stomach.

"Minseok?" She called out almost desperately. He turned around, eyes slightly wide with worry at the sound of her strained voice. "Please don’t tell anybody."

"I promise," he said, smiling reassuringly. "Let’s get going, before we’re late."

Gripping onto her purse tightly, she followed behind.

~*~

"So, where is he?" Baekhyun asked impatiently.

"We can’t find him. It’s as if he disappeared from the face of the world. We asked all the allied gangs and none of them know anything. He probably left for China, that’s where he came from, isn’t it?"

"China?" Baekhyun halted in his tracks. "Didn’t you say he was backed up by Wu Fan? Was he a spy? He’s reporting everything to Wu Fan, isn’t he? What the hell do they want from me, I have never met them, much less had the chance to offend them!"

"Do you hear yourself right now?" Yixing questioned incredulously. "Offend them? Since when did Byun Baekhyun worry about offending anyone? What the hell is wrong with you? Are you forgetting who you are? The position you’re in? The amount of power you have? And you’re worried about offending some unknown troopers from China?"

"You don’t understand-"

"Yeah, I don’t. I don’t understand why you’re so worried over a woman, my God, Baekhyun, if I was your enemy taking you down right now would be as easy as breaking a toothpick. This isn’t who you are."

"Don’t act like you know everything about me!"

Yixing flinched at the other’s outburst and clenched his fist, expression hardened. “I know love blinds you, but I never knew it’d be this bad. I’ll leave you to your thoughts.”

Baekhyun couldn’t calm down. How could he, when she was running around unprotected like that? Installing bodyguards by her side wasn’t as easy as it looked. The depth of their background checks, her working conditions and more importantly, her personal opinion, all that had to be considered. She wasn’t going to just sit there and do nothing when two men suddenly appear beside her, and Baekhyun didn’t want to scare her unnecessarily.

If she would just quit her job then half his problems would be solved. Baekhyun couldn’t do anything now. China was out of his reach, and as long as Tao was there, he couldn’t lay a finger on him. Whatever those outsiders were planning, he didn’t know, but that didn’t mean he would leave himself unprepared. Dealing with unknown forces by himself would be hard, and it was time for Baekhyun to start gathering his alliances, starting with Kim Jongdae.

~*~

She and Minseok met up with Eunhye and her husband at the ballroom. Together, they planned the layout for the night, where the stage would be, how the tables would be arranged and whatnot. They would have to come again once everything was set up to inspect decorations and do last minute changes, but that would be much later.

After settling everything, she and Minseok left the hotel. Keeping to his word, he drove them to the buzzing Hongdae area, saying he would show her a little more of what it was like being a teenager and a new young adult. On the way there, her phone buzzed and she opened the message from Baekhyun, telling her to call him when her work was done.

My colleague will send me home when I’m done.

Who is this colleague?

She rolled her eyes and shoved the phone into her purse. Minseok noticed the change and asked what was wrong, to which she just shook her head. Baekhyun began calling her, and she knew he wouldn’t stop until she picked up. It happened before.

"Hello?"

"Who’s your colleague?"

"I’m working, I’ll call you later, okay?" She said, trying to sound sweet and patient.

"I’m asking you a question!"

"Yeah, I’ll be having lunch out, so don’t cook my share. Okay, I’ll be back soon, don’t worry, bye."

She quickly ended the call and took a small breath. Minseok was silent, but that made her nervous for some reason.

"I don’t know why," he said, keeping his eyes on the road, "but the first thing that came to my mind was ‘stop acting’."

It was her turn to be silent, all she did was put her phone back into her purse. She couldn’t reply him, and perhaps it was best she didn’t, things could get worse if she said anything wrong. When they arrived, Minseok looked a whole lot more excited and alive. Maybe it was the bright lights even during the day, maybe it wasn’t, but she swore his eyes began to sparkle.

They ate, shopped and played a lot, but the place she enjoyed most was the arcade, and she wasn’t alone. It was weird how two fully grown adults were in an arcade full of teens. Minseok surprised her with his accuracy at the mini shooting range, knocking almost every target down with two bullets at most, while she struggled with knocking just half of them down. It felt good playing around like this, and not once did the thought of Baekhyun and the life she had lived for the past four years come to haunt her. It was as if she was given a second chance to become the teen she never got to be, playing around, shopping and eating whenever she felt like it, it was refreshing.

Evening was nearing, and Minseok offered to drive her back. The conversation during the ride home was lighthearted, mainly consisting of him teasing her over her ridiculously horrible aim. He dropped her off at the same place she got on in the morning and made her promise they would hang out again like this. Bidding him goodbye, she began walking down the narrower lanes.

She stood at the front gate of the house, hesitant to go in. Going in meant going back to reality, and she was blissfully ignorant at that point of time. There was never such a strong urge to run away, perhaps it was because she’d gotten a taste of freedom and she didn’t want things to return to the way it was before.

All this was her ‘normal’, and whatever she did just now was like a story, a movie of some sorts. She let herself get too carried away with her role as innocent lead actress that she forgot her position in real life. Never before had she felt so compelled to rebel.

But she knew the consequences of that. And just imagining what repercussions she would face was enough to deter her from rash decisions. So she could do nothing but push open the gates and walk down the cobblestoned pathway. She could feel whatever life and energy in her ebbing away with every step. Pushing the door open and entering the quiet house, she became herself again.

"I thought you were working, what are those bags?" He questioned sternly. She held them up and stared at it, almost wondering when she had purchased whatever was in those bags.

"Went out after everything was settled," she replied, moving towards the staircase.

"I’m not done talking." She stopped and sighed loudly as the footsteps approached. Baekhyun spun her around harshly, almost making her stumble backwards from the force. "Where exactly were you?"

"Hongdae."

"With who?"

"My colleague."

"That damned colleague! It’s a guy isn’t it? That’s why you won’t tell me his ing name!"

"Kim Minseok."

Baekhyun narrowed his eyes. "What?"

"His name. Now if there’s nothing else." she began turning away, but he grabbed her arm and forced her back. "What do you want, Baekhyun?"

"Why can’t you spare a thought for me? For once? Just once? Why are you so selfish?"

"You want to start with me, Byun Baekhyun? Then let’s start, you’re itching for a fight, aren’t you?" She jerked her arm away from him. "Me being in this ing house is you being selfish! Me still married to you is you being selfish! You ruining my future because of your hormones is you. Being. Selfish! So tell me, Baekhyun, what the do you want from me? What must I do before you’ll let me out of this prison?!"

"You think you’re the only one suffering?" Baekhyun snapped back harshly. "You think losing my son meant nothing to me? I’m in just as much pain as you are, Yoon Nara, you not seeing that is you being ing selfish! I get why you’re so cold to me, I know I derserve it, but that doesn’t mean I have no feelings! I get hurt too, in case you didn’t notice, why not you try being me for once? Why not you try being ignored by someone you love more than yourself?!"

"If you’d just ing set me free then none of us would be feeling this way!"

"You really don’t think do you? I have my reasons for keeping you here with me, the most important being I love you so much that just the thought of being away from you scares the out of me. The other being," Baekhyun took a breath, "do you really think you could live safely on your own? Do you know how many people are out to use you to bring me down? You know it well too, because it happened before."

"And that’s my fault? People wanting to hunt me down is my fault? You said it yourself Baekhyun, they’re after me because they want to bring you down. Who’s fault is it now?"

"It’s mine, I know it’s mine! But whoever is at fault isn’t the issue here, it’s your safety! They don’t care if it’s your fault or mine, either way their goal is the same."

"I don’t see the point in this conversation."

"I know you’re in pain, but I’m not any better. I don’t get why you’re always seeing this as a fight. Nobody is against you, Nara, not in this house, at least."

"Like I said, none of us would be feeling this way if you’d just let me go. Whether or not I’m safe on my own is none of your business."

"None of my business? You can hate me, you can despise me, I’ll accept that. But what I can’t accept is you looking down on my feelings for you."

"I don’t ing care about your feelings-"

Baekhyun felt his palm sting, but more than that, his heart hurt. Her cheek began blossoming red, and he knew he’d hate himself even more now. She was easy to bruise, he had hit hard enough for that to happen.

"You hit me," she murmured quietly, as if she herself had trouble accepting what had just happened.

"I-"

"You hit me."

Baekhyun wanted her to cry, to shout at him, to hit him back, but she didn’t, and that scared him even more. Her expression was void, and her eyes grew even colder and more distant than before. She brushed past him and headed for the door; Baekhyun could only stare at his palm in disbelief. He quickly spun around and ran after her, grabbing her elbow before she could leave.

"Nara, I’m so sorry-"

She jerked her arm away and simply looked at him. There was nothing in her, no anger, no fear, nothing. She had fallen so low that she couldn’t even bring herself to react.

"I hate you."