Baekhyun shouldn’t be worrying this much. She had told him where she’d be, it was a crowded place, that Baekhyun knew, and there was nothing to worry about because nobody would dare to try anything with so many people around.

The beeping of the electronic lock startled him, the cushion on his lap fell to the floor as he flinched. Baekhyun stood up, kicking the cushion aside as he approached her. She looked at him, expression blank, but Baekhyun felt compelled to stay where he was. There was a soft whirring of an engine, and he glanced out the window just in time to see the glow of orange headlights disappear down the road.

"You weren’t wearing that when you left," he pointed out quietly.

"Bought it last minute," she replied and started towards the stairs.

"You look beautiful."

She halted her steps for a second, and Baekhyun’s alarm bells began sounding in his head. He opened his mouth to say something, but she was already halfway up the stairs by the time he found the right words. Baekhyun sighed and bent down to pick up the cushion before resuming his position on the couch. He was just about done moping and wanted to head upstairs when his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Baekhyun? This is Jongdae." Baekhyun frowned, it wasn’t often the latter called, much less called him directly. Usually everyone would go through Yixing first, and he’d decide if it was important enough before passing on the message or scheduling an appointment.

"What’s wrong?" Weird how he always assumed the negative outcome first.

"Nothing’s wrong, not for you at least. My sister’s very upset, because Tao told her he won’t be coming back from China long-term."

"Did she mention why?"

"Nope. Too much sobbing."

Baekhyun squinted. “You sound awfully chipper for an overprotective brother.”

"Tao was bad for her. I’m glad he’s gone but mad that he left her in this manner."

"Thanks for telling me." The call ended and Baekhyun should feel relieved, or happy even, that he didn't even need to do anything to keep Tao away. But for some reason, he felt more uneasy than anything. It just didn't make sense for the guy to disappear like that. Was he planning something else?

"Hey, Yixing," Baekhyun said into the receiver after the latter picked up.

"Anything the matter?"

"Remember the last time you said Tao disappeared? That he probably went back to China?"

"What about it?"

"When did you tell me that?"

"Close to a week ago if I remember correctly. Why?"

"Nothing. Jongdae called just now. He said Tao isn't coming back long-term."

"That's good then. No need to make risky deals and face unnecessary losses."

"Yeah. I guess that's true."

After hanging up, Baekhyun went upstairs to wash up and turn in. But when he twisted the doorknob of the bathroom to step back into the bedroom, Baekhyun could hear soft giggles. She was laughing for a reason that didn’t involve him. He froze, door left slightly ajar, and listened.

"I seriously don’t recall ever stepping on your foot!" She said, sounding more cheerful than she had been for the past four years Baekhyun had lived with her. She was silent for a while, probably waiting for the person on the other line to speak. "Yeah, yeah, sorry Mr. Kim."

Baekhyun’s grip had tightened so much he could’ve ripped the knob off if he wanted to. He made a show of stepping out, watching her as she flinched slightly and glanced sideways at her phone, as if she was afraid he could see the face of the caller. Baekhyun threw his clothes into the laundry hamper by the door with more force than necessary, making sure she noticed how upset he was, before she hung up. She was still for a moment, until she climbed into bed without sparing him so much of a glance or explanation. She didn’t even feel the need to clear things up, she didn’t think he was worth at least that. Baekhyun couldn’t keep himself from getting angry, though it wasn’t her fault, not entirely, at least.

But he felt more hurt than he was upset. It hurt him knowing that some other man could bring a smile to his face so effortlessly, while he had spent so long just begging her to stop glaring at him whenever they spoke. It was unfair. What was he lacking, exactly? It’d been four years, did her heart not get shaken at least a little? He had been nothing but nice to her, except that one time he lost control and hit her, he never dared raise his voice at her at all. He cooked for her, complimented her, bought her clothes and bags, yet she remained unchanged. Did she completely throw away their friendship and the feelings that came along with it, or was he simply just not doing enough?

But Baekhyun had done his best, and like Yixing asked, didn’t he get tired always running after her while she was ahead of him simply by walking? The answer was yes, he was exhausted, but every little response and reaction that she gave him was motivation to keep going. It was hope, that one day things might change.

The only thing Baekhyun was afraid of now, was that someone might take her away before that day could come.

He turned his head and glanced at her; through the moonlight, he could see her eyes shut, but he knew she wasn’t asleep yet.

"Did you have fun today?" He asked quietly, and there was no response. Baekhyun didn’t really expect one. "You seem like you did. When was the last time you had that much fun? Hopefully… The most memorable time was with me."

"It was."

Baekhyun’s eyes widened. Her voice was so quiet and quick that he thought it was just an imagination. Was it?

"It was," she said again. And this time Baekhyun got her reference. Was.

That night, he wondered if she could hear the sound of his heart shattering.

~*~

Days with Kim Minseok were always enjoyable. The office had noticed how close they’ve gotten over time; always joking around, always making the other run and buy coffee. Minseok graduated from his “probation” period the same day she had her birthday. Everyone decided that there was no way they couldn’t celebrate, so they went for a light dinner then to a bar for some drinks. How ironic was it that it was Baekhyun’s establishment? Was there only one bar in all of Seoul or was heaven reminding her that Baekhyun didn’t remember her birthday?

She woke up that morning expecting him to be the first one to wish her, but it wasn’t the case. When she got up, Baekhyun was still asleep, and he was sleeping so soundly. Putting that thought aside, she had prepared for work as usual. But throughout the day, there was no call and no text messages from him at all, and it would’ve been a lie to say she wasn’t expecting anything.

What surprised even herself was how sullen she was about it. And maybe, she tried convincing herself, that she had reason to. Ever since she met him, there was not one birthday of hers he let slip by just like that. Even when he was extremely busy with his own things, he would at least call. She had grown so used to his presence on her birthday, but today, there was nothing, and she was more upset than she would like to admit.

"To Minseok and Nara!" Her colleagues cheered with their drinks in the air. She found it within herself to smile and clink glasses. Even as they all played games around her, her eyes kept wondering to the cellphone that she left on the table while she quietly drank.

"Hey, you okay?" Minseok nudged her.

She smiled. “Yeah I’m fine.”

"Wanna see what I got you?"

"You actually got me something?" She asked, genuinely surprised.

"Yeah," Minseok replied, picking up a paper bag and handing it to her. "Open it up."

She peeled the tape at the top and took out what was in the bag. There were multiple things, perfume, a bracelet, a small panda plush toy and a birthday card.

"Happy birthday," she read from the front. "This card is ninety percent better than me singing happy birthday to you. But your singing voice isn’t much better either." She lowered the card and glared at him. "Excuse you, I used to sing in high school concerts."

"Oh really?" Minseok smirked. "Then sing for me now."

"Now?"

"Never mind. When you’re drunk, you’ll sing."

"I hate you," she muttered jokingly. Minseok just tilted his head cutely and blinked twice, making her palm his face away while laughing. To get rid of any negative thoughts, she downed glass after glass. Minseok looked at her, then at her cellphone, before reaching out and turning the device off. She sat up, ready to protest, but then realised it would be better that way. Minseok had told her he was only joking about the singing part, and that she should lighten up on the drinks. But of course she didn’t listen, it wasn’t because of that that she was drinking anyway.

By the end of the party, she was indeed dead drunk, and if she was sober enough, she would realise that this was the most knocked out she’d ever gotten. Nobody had to ask Minseok for him to take her home, those two were already seen as a package by their colleagues, and ever since then it seemed like Baekhyun’s existence had been erased from their memories.

Making sure she was safely buckled up, Minseok started up the GPS which had already saved her address the last time he sent her home, and drove off. He no longer questioned why she never wanted to call her husband to pick her up. He never did from the start, anyway. Minseok knew more than she thought he did.

~*~

"Baekhyun, our Ice shipment arrived, but the container was empty," Yixing reported over the phone.

Baekhyun scowled, feeling his irritation spike up already. “What do you mean empty? It’s been on a ship in the middle of the ing ocean all this time where else could’ve it have gone?!”

"I checked the crew handling it that day and found names and faces I didn’t recognized. Someone swapped them out," he said.

"Swapped them out? Isn’t that… Isn’t that what happened to, what’s his name, oh yeah, Dongho. Tao did the same thing to him."

"Well, I haven’t found out the culprit but that seems likely. Our shipment and crew were arranged at a time before he left, so he could’ve been the one to swap things up. I’ll try getting back the shipment, if he isn’t here in person to speed things up, it’s likely the goods are still within our reaches."

"Where are you? We’ll go together," Baekhyun said. Yixing’s words on how the people who worked for him were the ones doing all the dirty work had gotten to him, and he felt he hadn’t been doing much as a leader. It had been a while since they had that conversation, but Baekhyun never could forget it, until of course, the day came when his illness could no longer be pushed back.

"But isn’t today-" Yixing stopped himself short, barely registering Baekhyun’s distant "what about today?" as he pondered over his words. "Never mind. I’m heading to the underground warehouse in Itaewon where Tao’s crew hangs out, we’ll meet outside Dunkin’ Donuts and I’ll take you there."

Baekhyun snickered. “Dunkin’ Donuts of all places.”

Yixing laughed too, and only now did Baekhyun realise how long it had been since he last heard it. “It’s iconic, hard to miss. I’ll see you there, bye.”

"Bye."

It had been eight hours since he left the house and six hours since he came back. Yes he was keeping track. It was two in the morning, she was nowhere to be found, uncontactable despite the four text messages and ten missed calls and counting. Baekhyun was this close to running to the car and driving out to look for her, only he had no clue where she could be. The office was out of the question, surely it would be closed by now and at this hour, it was likely she was out drinking with her colleagues. But there were too many places for Baekhyun to search, and he had no plan of doing so to begin with. All he could do was wait for her to come back quickly or answer his calls, then maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t have to yell at her the second she stepped into the house.

Another six missed calls later, the doorbell rang and Baekhyun nearly ripped the door off its hinges when he swung it open. But what he saw was something that angered him way more than her late return.

"Hello sir, sorry to bother you, but I am your wife’s colleague, Kim Minseok." The man looked tired but had a smile on his face that Baekhyun badly wanted to rip apart. "She drank a little too much and as the newest in the company, I had to bring her home."

Baekhyun’s eye twitched slightly as he almost snatched the snoozing woman out from the other’s embrace. “Thank you.”

"Oh, and uh, perhaps next year you’d like to remember your wife’s birthday. She might hate you a little less then. Have a good night, sir."

He stood frozen by the doorway even though Minseok was already in his car and driving off. Baekhyun glanced down at her flushed face and immediately felt ashamed of himself. There he was, irritated and enraged at her lack of responsibility to at least call him back to assure him she wasn’t dead in a ditch somewhere. And there he was, jealous, like a high school boy, when she was in the arms of a man who, he hated to admit, took care of her while he was too busy being an ignorant fool.

But most of all, he felt ashamed because he couldn’t even remember the birthday of the woman he loved more than himself. It wasn’t entirely his fault, he tried to convince himself, it was the illness that caused him to be so forgetful. But then he realised that if he really did love her that much, he wouldn’t be needing to use his illness as an excuse in the first place.

What else would he forget? This time it was her birthday, and the next? Her favorite food? Her passion for singing? Or, their deceased son that brought them together and tore them apart at the same time?

He changed her out of her clothes and slipped on a pair of socks before tucking her in. Throughout everything she remained sound asleep, only ever murmuring some incoherent words once in a while.

"Yixing?"

"… Yes?" Came the sleepy response.

"Get someone to tail Nara, there’s no need to be close-distance, just enough to give me a location report on wherever she goes. Also, I want you to do a check on Kim Minseok. He works at Nara’s office. Skinny, young and handsome. You have two days."

Baekhyun crawled into his usual spot beside her, laying stiff on his back as he stared up at the ceiling. Then he couldn’t hold back, and risked a glance at her. She was asleep on her side facing him. Baekhyun turned and wrapped his arms around her as he would often do, but this time he pulled her towards him, until he could feel her body pressed flush against his. She didn’t stir, thankfully, and he brought one hand up to tangle his fingers in her hair.

For some reason, his heart hurt while holding her like this, which shouldn’t be the case. Baekhyun let out a shaky breath as his vision began to blur with tears; he blinked, and the salty liquid slid down sideways. He tightened his hold on her, not fearing that he might wake her up anymore. He just wanted to feel. And he held her in a way that someone might steal her from him while he slept.

"I’m sorry," he whispered, "I’m sorry."

As Baekhyun chanted those two useless words like a mantra, he realised it wasn’t so much of guilt and shame that gripped his heart.

It was fear.

~*~

Nara woke up the next morning to a face full of Baekhyun’s neck. She felt one hand on her waist, and another around the back of her neck. His scent was faint, and though she hated to admit, it was something she couldn’t describe other than with familiar and comforting. She couldn’t remember the last time she woke up like that. There were nights she was aware that Baekhyun would drape an arm around her waist, but he would leave it at that. And then it hit her that the first thought that came to her mind wasn’t to push him away.

She laid there, unable to go back to sleep due to her headache, with Baekhyun’s collarbones just inches way from her lips. A blur flashback played in her head, from the night Baekhyun took her home after visiting a club for the first time. He was on top of her, and she could still feel his heat on her skin, his hands all over her body. Panic and fear filled her chest, and she fought to keep her breathing stable. She squeezed her eyes shut, willing the images and sounds from that night to go away.

Her back was starting to ache from being in that position, so she carefully lifted his arm away from her, and scooted back slowly. Baekhyun remained asleep. She got off the bed and stumbled a little, palming the side of her head where the pain was strongest. Staggering to the desk where her purse sat, she pulled out her phone and turned it on, only to find sixteen missed calls and four text messages all from Baekhyun. She glanced back at his sleeping figure and felt a tiny bit apologetic, until she recalled that he was the one who forgot her birthday in the first place.

There was one more message from Minseok, sent at three in the morning, saying Lisa pretty much knew that she wasn’t coming to work from the amount she drank last night, so she had the day off. She sent him a reply, thanking him for sending her home last night. When asked how she knew it was him, she simply told Minseok that if it wasn’t him, there was no one else.

She headed downstairs to find something for her hangover. Their container of medicinal supplies were on a shelf in the kitchen that was a tad bit too high for her to reach, the stool they had was nowhere to be found, and she honestly couldn’t be bothered to find it. Standing on her tiptoes, she could almost reach the edge of the box, until a larger hand reached out and grabbed it down with ease. She glanced at Baekhyun, who was wordlessly picking up the box of painkillers and punching out two pills from the foil.

It was then that she noticed his hair was getting a bit long, as his black bangs hung over his eyes when he tilted his head down. The jar of water was over on his side, so she couldn’t help herself to a glass without coming too close. She didn’t want to. He handed her the glass of water and pills and put the container back in its original place all without lifting his head, which made her curious.

Baekhyun turned away from her to open the fridge, asking in a hoarse sleepy voice that made the hairs on her arm stand. “Do you need me to call the office and take a day off for you?”

"No, it’s already taken care of," she murmured.

"Then go back to sleep," he said, placing a packet of frozen scallops on the counter beside the fridge. "I’ll make some porridge for you and wake you up when it’s done."

She rinsed the glass and placed it on the rack to dry off, heading to the stairs. But she stopped beside Baekhyun at the fridge, and he immediately shut it and busied himself at the counter, back turned against her.

"Your eyes," she said, "they’re red."

"I must’ve rubbed them too hard in my sleep." Baekhyun busied himself with the rice cooker.

"Then I would have felt it."

He stilled for a moment, then replied, “no, you were practically out cold.”

"Yeah, guess you’re right," she gave in, not wanting to probe further when he clearly didn’t feel like talking about it. "Then put some eye-drop."

"It’ll be fine."

She huffed quietly then went back to the cabinet to pull out the container. Baekhyun watched her carefully, then placed his hand over her head where the first aid kit would've hit if he hadn't shielded her.

"I told you it’ll be fine," Baekhyun said, firm yet gentle, as if he was chastising a young child. He didn't seem in pain even when she saw the back of his hand getting red. She stepped away from him and picked up the eye-drop from the mess on the floor, handing it to him.

"Apply it, then pick up the stuff," she told him. "I’m going back to sleep."

She brushed past him, but halted when he called her name.

"Can you… Help me?"

She wasn’t sure if the headache had a side effect that was along the lines of complying to everything Baekhyun asked for that morning, but she told him to sit on a chair and tilt his head back before she could stop herself. The crown of Baekhyun’s head pressed lightly against her stomach as she took the small bottle from him and brushed his bangs away.

"Stop blinking."

"Sorry."

Baekhyun visibly flinched when the liquid hit his right eye and was almost ready to get up. “One more,” she said, and Baekhyun sighed. After the drop entered his eye, he made grabby hand motions towards the tissue box that was in the middle of the island counter. She reached over and handed him a tissue to dab away the excess while she put the bottle back in its box. Wordlessly, she headed back to the bedroom feeling light.

It was the weight of hatred being lifted from her shoulders.

~*~

"Baekhyun, report’s in," Yixing said, placing a folder down in front of his boss.

"Mm." Baekhyun tore his eyes away from the message of the person tailing Nara, saying that she was still at work and there was nothing unusual. But instead of picking up the folder, Baekhyun stared dead into his right-hand man’s eyes. The latter did not flinch, which Baekhyun expected, because Yixing was more than someone who would obediently take orders.

He was meant to give them.

"How much do you know about Tao?" Baekhyun asked.

"As much as you do," Yixing replied, not faltering one bit.

"Then you must know that you came into contact with him around the time his name first surfaced to me, right?"

"How long have you known?"

Baekhyun looked away. “Quite some time.”

"How did you find out?"

"Through the one person who could hunt a man down better than you."

Only now did Yixing show signs of wariness. “K- Kyungsoo?”

"Bingo." As soon as Baekhyun said that, a heart stopping click of a pistol echoed in the house. Yixing exhaled slowly, the muzzle dug into his temple as he side-eyed the familiar man behind the gun.

"Why?"

"I can’t talk if there’s a gun digging into my skull."

"Leave us, Kyungsoo."

The small-framed man put the gun back into its holster before heading upstairs.

"You’ve been distracted, Baekhyun. Ever since she lost the baby you’ve been distracted."

"Apparently not distracted enough to let your deeds go unnoticed."

"I never meant to harm you. Look, Tao used to attend the same middle school as Nara."

Baekhyun’s eyes widened, and Yixing chuckled.

"Guess you didn’t know that. He liked her, Baekhyun, he liked her a lot, or at least, that was what he told me. But he couldn’t like her, not with the family he came from. Wu Fan is his half-brother. So he left Korea, but he never stopped keeping tabs on Nara. Obviously when he found out what you did and who she was married to, he wasn’t happy."

"Get to the point," Baekhyun hissed.

"He wanted to take her away from you, not because he wanted to hurt you, but because he wanted to protect the girl he’s loved since sixteen. At first I agreed with him, but our intentions were different. Nara was poison to you. She was your top priority, not us, not the organisation your father trusted you with. And that was a fatal weakness. One day you’d come crashing down, and I couldn’t bear to see someone so originally powerful, lose everything at the feet of one girl. You were meant to accomplish greater things, Baekhyun.

"But after I thought about it, after considering how much I knew about you, and how much you loved her, I knew Tao’s plan wouldn’t work the way I wanted it to. With her around, the gang was second place, but without her by your side, you would destroy whatever you built up with your own hands. Which is why," Yixing paused, "my men are on their way to stop Tao’s plan from succeeding."

"What are talking about?"

"Read Minseok’s file."

Baekhyun harshly picked up the folder and scanned through it. At that moment, his cellphone buzzed.

She has gotten off work. Getting into Kim Minseok’s car.

"."