The office still felt odd to her, but she had learnt not to look at the emptiness beside her. She was typing at the computer, finishing up the last of her archiving task when the receptionist called her name, saying there was a Ms. Jung was looking for her. She was feeling many things when she went to pick up the phone, but none of them were good.

"Hello?" She said tentatively into the receiver.

"Nara! I have good news for you. You know Miyoung?"

"Yeah, our class president in year two."

"She’s getting married! Make a guess who the groom is."

"Uh, is it someone I know of? Like someone obvious?"

"Mhm!"

"Jung… Ho?"

"Yes! They’re like you and Baekhyun, high school sweethearts. She said she was inviting all the classmates she was able to contact. We talked about you when we met up, so I gave her your number and address since I had it saved in my phone when you were my planner, hopefully it’s okay with you."

"Of course."

Not.

After dropping out of high school because of the baby, she really didn’t know how to face her classmates anymore, and had enrolled in a different school for a fresh start after the miscarriage. The time she spent there was short, and she never really bothered making friends with any of the kids there either. 

“She sent out invitations already, and it should reach everyone by today, maybe you’ll see it when you get home. I would’ve called you on your personal phone but it doesn’t seem to be getting through, and I was just so excited.”

"Oh, yeah I switched it off to focus."

"Understandable. Can’t wait to see you there, you have to attend, okay? You couldn’t attend the past high school reunions because literally nobody could contact you, and everyone really wants to see you again. Bring Baekhyun, it’s a plus one invitation, and I told her inviting you was as good as inviting Baekhyun, anyway.

"I’ll… Uh, think about it. He’s pretty busy lately, so I’ll see how it goes."

"Alright then, hopefully I’ll see you soon!"

Handing the phone back to Yoona the receptionist had never felt so relieving to her. Eunhye hadn’t changed, still talking at a speed of a million miles per hour. She slinked back to her desk, making a mental note to rush home right after to get the invitation out of Baekhyun’s sight. There was a chance he still hadn’t seen it, and she wanted to have the time to think whether bringing him would be a good idea.

Her entrance into the house must’ve been really loud as it had startled Baekhyun who was frying something in the kitchen. The roll of paper towels fell onto the floor after being knocked by his elbow when he flinched at her arrival.

"Sorry," she muttered and scanned the coffee table for mail, where it usually would be.

"You’re early," Baekhyun pointed out. His voice sounded muffled, so he must’ve been bending down to pick up the roll. She shuffled through the mail and found an extremely fancy envelope with a very obvious "Son Miyoung and Kim Jung Ho invite you to…" printed in gold cursive letters on the front.

She quickly shoved the envelope into her purse and made her way up. On the bed she found his clothes strewn all over, so he must’ve just got home if he hadn’t had time to hang them up or throw it in the laundry basket. Shaking her head, she grabbed his white button-up and sniffed it briefly to decide whether to hang them or wash them, and in it went into the basket. His thermal soon joined it while his pants were hung up. At least he took care of his coat properly.

She didn’t even have time to change when Baekhyun came in, telling her dinner was ready.

"You went somewhere?" She asked, gesturing to his pants.

"Yeah. I visited your grandmother, literally came back ten minutes before you did and I was hungry, so I, you know."

"Oh. Okay. I’ll get changed first, you go ahead."

Baekhyun hummed a reply and shut the door. She quickly shoved the invitation into her pillow case and patted it down, looking at it from different angles to see if Baekhyun could notice anything. Satisfied, she got changed and headed downstairs. Baekhyun had just finished setting the table when she arrived and pulled up her usual seat.

"She had a slight cold," Baekhyun informed, catching her attention. "Ran her down to the usual doctor and got a prescription. Nothing serious, just because of the drop in temperature."

"Thank you."

"It’s nothing. We can go visit her together this weekend. I’m sure she’ll be doing better by then."

She mulled over his words and decided that Baekhyun deserved to decide for himself whether he wanted or not to go for the wedding. Honestly, it wasn’t like she was ashamed of him. The others only didn’t like him back then because of the rumors, none of them actually knew what he did, so maybe now that everyone’s all grown up, they could look past it.

"You know," she said, stirring her soup. "There’s this Miyoung from our class in second year, you remember her?"

"Yeah." Baekhyun didn’t sound thrilled. It was understandable, he was young back then, and surely the words and behavior of others towards him must’ve affected him no matter how nonchalant he acted about it.

"Well, she’s getting married. To Jung Ho, another one of our classmates. And… She sent an invitation."

"I was wondering when you were going to bring that up."

She lowered her gaze in inexplicable guilt.

"How’d she know our address? I thought we cut off all contact with them after you dropped out."

"I met Eunhye this year by chance because I was her wedding planner. And I gave her my address so she could send her invitation over. It was more of a formality, really, because I had to be at her wedding as part of my job anyway. So since she had it, she gave it to Miyoung when they met up."

"That’s… Pretty messed up."

"Eunhye is bent on making me go, and I figured it’d be really rude if I still didn’t attend even then. There’ll be a lot of ex-classmates there so I’m twice as reluctant but… We both don’t have to go, so if you’re really uncomfortable then-"

"Well I can’t let you face them alone, can I? Is Minki going to be there? I’d like to take a look at how successful he’s become after taking a beating from me."

She cracked a small smile at that. “You had in-house suspension after that, totally not worth it if you ask me. The wedding’s this Saturday.”

"We’ll go. It’s not like we have anything to hide."

"We technically do but what are the chances anyone knows, right?"

"Yeah. What are the chances."

~*~

Just seeing the hotel name alone, Baekhyun already knew wedding was going to be rather large scale, and he wondered if all their classmates had magically become the wealthiest people in Seoul. He knew he should have put in more thought to the matter, knowing that he wasn’t very welcomed back in high school, and probably still isn’t. Besides, they had disappeared after high school, and for four years nobody could contact them, surely there’d be tons of questions that they were still unprepared to answer.

But all that meant nothing once he saw her in the dress for the wedding. She looked absolutely stunning, Baekhyun wondered if this was her own wedding and not Miyoung’s. He didn’t even need to look at the actual bride that evening to know his wife was a million times more beautiful than she’ll ever be. So he stood by the bedside table, fingers limp around the gold-trimmed cuffs of his white button-up, staring as if he had been graced by the presence of a queen. And he might as well have been.

"Stop looking, you’re making this weird."

Baekhyun blinked rapidly, tearing his eyes off her while doing so. He heard her pace around the room, and he couldn’t be sure if that was the sound of her footsteps against hardwood or his heart drumming against his ribs. He fell in love with her every single day.

They arrived at the venue and handed the car over for valet parking. Arm in arm, they took the lift up to the third floor ballroom as stated on the invitation. There were already many guests roaming around outside, either signing on the guestbook, sipping drinks or taking pictures at the photo booth. One look at her and Baekhyun knew she was equally as lost and uncomfortable as he was. Hesitantly, they approached the table to sign on the guestbook.

"Invitation please."

Baekhyun handed the envelope over in exchange for two pens to sign. The woman directed them over to the photo booth, but they decided to pass on that and just look for their table. They were ushered to table thirteen by the hotel staff, where a few other people were already seated. As they walked, both took a noticeable deep breath to prepare themselves.

"Hello," Baekhyun said politely as they took their seats. The other occupants expresssed their surprise.

"Nara? Is that you?" One man asked.

"Yes, it’s me. And this is Baekhyun."

"Oh… Of course, I remember him. You remember me right?"

"Yeah, Jongsuk."

The man smiled. “And these guys?”

Baekhyun glanced around and names started resurfacing in his mind, but none brought about pleasant feelings or memories.

"Of course I remember."

"Where’d you go? Ms. Jung said you dropped out, we didn’t understand why, and nobody could contact you," Jongsuk said, and the eight others at the table echoed their thoughts.

"She went abroad," Baekhyun answered. "To sharpen her vocal skills."

"I did."

"Then why didn’t you pursue it? What are you working as now?"

Baekhyun sank into his seat slightly, feeling a little left out of the conversation.

"Some things cropped up and I ended giving that dream up. I’m a wedding planner now. You know Eunhye? I planned her wedding, it was through her that Miyoung managed to invite us."

"So, I see you married Baekhyun? Or is he just a date for the night? You two were pretty close back then."

"He’s my husband," she said promptly, and Baekhyun felt pride swell in his chest.

"Hey man, sorry about back then," Hae Jin said. "We were all stupid teenagers. I hope you aren’t too affected."

you all, it’s too late to say that now, isn’t it?

Baekhyun gave them a tight-lipped smile. "No I wasn’t. I barely paid attention."

"That’s great. So, what do you do now?"

"I…" Baekhyun glanced at his plate. "Am a businessman."

It wasn’t entirely a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either. Baekhyun didn’t need to be that honest with them. It’d just feed their ego if they knew those “rumors” weren’t that baseless after all.

"What do you deal in?"

"Oh, you know… Just some pubs here and there. You know, Love Light? I own that."

"Oh my God, that’s really high-end," Jongsuk gasped. "Of course I’ve heard of it, I’ve only heard of it, actually. Damn, you really grew up well."

Baekhyun flinched when the other jokingly punched his arm, not because it hurt, but because bodily contact with people like him was repulsive. And he swore he could hear her snicker quietly beside him.

"Maybe one day you could take us all there," one girl, Gyuri said.

"One day," Baekhyun echoed, nodding his head with a stiff grin. Over my dead body.

After some more small talk, the wedding officially commenced. They applauded, stood and toasted when necessary, thankful that they weren’t here alone, and that they had each other to glance at when unsure or feeling awkward. Once everyone settled down for dinner, Baekhyun excused himself to the washroom. She gave him a look that said be quick, and Baekhyun smiled his most genuine smile that evening.

~*~

"So Nara… Why him?" Asked Hae Jin.

"Excuse me?"

"Why Baekhyun, I mean. You were pretty popular back then, tons of guys were interested in you, it’s not like you didn’t know."

She chuckled unsurely. “I don’t know. I guess because we were already friends?”

"After living with him, did you confirm anything?"

"Yes I did," she said, feeling cross with the question. "I confirmed that none of those rumors were true. All that was four years ago, until now you guys haven’t let it go?"

"Of course we have, we were just curious, that's all."

She glanced at each of them briefly. “I see.”

"Did you know?" Dasom grinned. "Jongsuk used to have a crush on you."

The said male just nudged the girl and laughed. “Maybe that’s why Baekhyun seemed to be glaring at me the past hour.”

"Baekhyun knew and I didn’t?"

"Yeah. Okay, since it all happened so long ago, and you’re already a married woman while I’ve moved on, I’ll tell you what happened. I can’t remember when, but there was this one time I asked Baekhyun to pass a letter to you, since you guys were close friends. And you said it yourself, that you guys weren’t dating."

"I never received any letter though."

"Looks like he’s liked you since back then," Gyuri commented.

"Seriously?"

"I’m serious. Ask him later when he gets back."

She smiled and continued to be on alert for Baekhyun’s return, but more time passed and he still hadn’t shown up.

"Did he eat something bad? You want to call him?"

"Yeah, I’ll call him." She quickly dug out her phone and dialed his number, but there was no answer. She checked his seat but his phone wasn’t there, meaning it was with him. His previous fainting incident flashed in her mind for some reason, and she got extra worried because of it. Could he have fainted again?

"He’s not answering. Can someone check the washroom for me?"

"Of course." Jongsuk stood up and strode out of the ballroom. She grew more anxious by the second, and her suspicion was confirmed when Jongsuk came running back with a panicked look on his face.

"He’s unconscious, I’ve called the ambulance. I think it’s best to move him out quietly, so the wedding doesn’t get disturbed."

She jumped out of her seat and uttered a quick apology and goodbye to her ex-classmates before following Jongsuk to the bathroom. The man came out with Baekhyun on his back, and they quietly took the lift back down to the lobby, where they met with the paramedics. Baekhyun was loaded into the ambulance shortly after.

"Thank you so much, Jongsuk. And I’m so sorry for all this. We’ll catch up next time, okay?"

"Don’t worry about it, Baekhyun should be your top concern right now. Get into the van, they’re waiting."

With one last apologetic look, she rushed into the waiting ambulance and sped off. On the way, she watched quietly while they strapped an oxygen mask on him.

"It’s not the first time he fainted. What’s wrong?"

"There’s no external injury for now, he’ll be thoroughly examined when we arrive at the hospital. Does he have any history of heart attacks or epilepsy?"

"No, none at all."

"When was the last time he fainted?"

"A few months ago."

"His vitals are all normal, it could be as simple as exhaustion, don’t worry too much."

She was told to wait by the seats while Baekhyun was rolled into the Emergency Room. The others looked at her weirdly because of her formal wear, but her eyes were fixed on the pink curtains that separated her from him. The wait took longer than the first time, and she saw him being wheeled somewhere else. She tried asking a nurse but she was curtly told to wait for news.

After another two hours or so, she was informed of Baekhyun’s ward and that she could go in to see him for half an hour, as visiting times were over by right. He was barely awake when she came over to the side of his bed, but he smiled at the sight of her.

"What’s happened?"

"Don’t worry," he replied softly. "It was just exhaustion."

"But you haven’t been working a lot lately-"

"Mentally."

She immediately felt a sharp pang of guilt. If it was anything that involved mental health it had to be because of her. She was the one giving him so much pain and stress, it wouldn’t be surprising if Baekhyun was diagnosed with depression.

"Rest up, okay?"

Baekhyun nodded with a sleepy grin. “This is weird but, can I hold your hand? Hospitals kind of scare me.”

"I know," she said, allowing him to grab hold of her fingers. "Just go to sleep."

"I’ll only be in here for a night. After I sleep, go home, change and get some rest. Call Yixing to pick you up. Okay?"

"I know what to do, just sleep."

He tangled his fingers with hers and shut his already half-closed eyes. She waited until she felt his hand go slack, then slowly pulled away from him. She draped the blanket over him and left the ward. There wasn’t a need to call Yixing when she could just get a cab, so that was exactly what she did.

She changed and climbed into bed, just as Baekhyun had told her to. But she had trouble following his last instruction, and that was falling asleep. It was near impossible, the emptiness beside her was larger than she thought it would be.

~*~

"You’re awake." Much to his disappointment, the first person Baekhyun saw when he opened his eyes wasn’t Nara, but his usual doctor. It wasn’t so much so of the person, but more of the news that came with it.

"It hurt a lot. More than the other times. I thought the medicine would help it."

"When was the last time you had an attack?"

"Almost a month ago."

"And how empty is your bottle since the last time you came to get new prescriptions?"

Baekhyun remained silent at that.

"It’s not going to work if you take those pills as often as you drink water, Mr. Byun. Those aren’t just painkillers. You have to follow the prescription, three pills a day, after a meal. Otherwise it’ll just backfire on you, and I can’t guarantee the consequences when it happens again."

"I couldn’t even remember my own wife’s birthday."

"The pills aren’t going to help your memory. It’s just there to slow down and reduce the intensity of the attacks."

"I had to try something, at least. Now it’s her birthday, what’s next?"

"Mr. Byun, I understand your concern and I sincerely suggest you pay a visit to a friend of mine, she’s a very good psychologist and-"

"No thank you. I’m not seeing a shrink."

"Just one session. Just see her for one session and decide after that. She can be your listening ear, give you advice on how to preserve your memories."

"But can she stop me from forgetting?"

"Mr. Byun…"

"If it’s not going to help me then what’s the point?"

"I’ll just leave her contact number with you, if you ever change your mind, just call."

Baekhyun stared at the name card in his hand, contemplating whether or not be should give it a try. Just as he was about to get his cellphone, the door slid open and in came Yixing and Nara. He discreetly kept the card under his pillow and smiled as per normal.

"They said you could be discharged any time today," Yixing said. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah, just let me get changed-"

"I brought you more comfortable clothes," she said, handing him a paper bag. "And I collected the car this morning."

"Thanks."

After filling up the papers, Yixing drove them home in his own car. She alighted, but Baekhyun told her to go in first, needing to have a word with Yixing.

"Again?" The latter asked once she was out of an earshot.

"Yes. You didn’t tell her, right?"

"Not unless I wanted to get my brains blown out."

"Thank you."

"When are you going to tell her? She’s going to have to know someday, and knowing her, it’s probably better to tell her soon."

"I’ll figure things out. Now isn’t the right time. A lot of things have happened lately, she doesn’t show it, but I know she’s still shaken up by the Minseok incident."

"Alright. That’s your personal life anyway, but what about the organisation? What happens after, you know?"

"What else can happen? You have to shoulder that weight for me, obviously."

"Baekhyun, I don’t think-"

"I don’t think, I know. If there’s anyone else who can take the lead, it’s you. We’ll talk about this next time."

"I understand. Have a good rest."

Baekhyun watched as the silver car pulled out of their driveway and drove out of sight. He then turned and walked towards their front door, pondering over Yixing’s words. There were so many obstacles in front of him, and the time he spent thinking about how to successfully cross over one, another blockage would come his way. It seemed almost impossible to finish this race.