A Despicable Letter

*

            Running quickly, Chansung felt himself being lifted and began to laugh.

            “I caught you! My sweet little kitten.”

            Looking upon his mother’s face, he wrapped his arms tightly around her neck and cuddled close. “You got me, mama.”

            She smiled brightly and combed back his hair. “What shall we do today, my kitten?”

            “Hmm, can we go to the library?”

            “Again?” She asked as she kissed his forehead. “Does mama need to get you a new journal soon?”

            Nodding shyly, Chansung rested his head against her shoulder. “I love you, mama.”

            “And mama loves you, my little kitten. Grow big and strong, okay, stronger than mama and everyone else.”

            *

            Waking, Chansung sat up immediately gasping for air. He rubbed at his cheeks and eyes, and tried to take calming breaths, but the feelings were too raw.

            Rising from the bed, he glanced back briefly at his siblings and Wooyoung before exiting the room. He made his way to the kitchen. He grabbed himself a glass of water before making his way to the washroom. He desperately sought something to takeaway his headache.

            Looking through the cabinet, he found a small bottle and opened it quickly. His head was beginning to throb terribly and he knew sana wouldn’t take care of it fast enough. Popping two pills into his mouth he downed the glass of water just as quickly.

            Walking into the hallway again, he glanced in upon Wooyoung and his siblings before turning to the kitchen. Re-filling his glass, Chansung sniffled slightly. Shutting off the water he made his way to the table and noticed picture after picture on a shelf beside it. Photographs of Wooyoung, Min-Jun, and people he didn’t recognise, but he was sure they were Taecyeon’s other children and their families. Then, he spotted a picture of him along with his father and his siblings. They were all smiling happily. His mother was absent.

            Turning away, he sat down and rested his head in his hands.

            “Chansung?”

            Startled, he looked up and found a tired and worried Yong-Sun. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake anyone.”

            “Are you alright?”

            Facing elsewhere and holding his glass tighter, he shook his head. "I should be asking you that. What time did you get back?"

            “Late. Are you okay?”

            “I...I'm alright.” He whispered and looked over him slowly. “I’m sorry...I can't imagine what it's like for you to be here.”

            “You don’t need to apologise for anything. I think we're all feeling the same, like everything has been coming at at us over and over. It truly hasn’t stopped. Everyone is high strung. This must be what you've been feeling constantly for the past couple months."

            "Yeah," Chansung nodded. "I knew it was going to be chaos coming back here, but, you can never really prepare yourself when happens."

            "Yes." Yong-Sun snorted in amusement. “May I sit down? Or, would you come into the living-room? The chairs are far more comfy, and there are blankets.“

            Chansung couldn’t help but chuckle, “blankets sound good.”

            Yong-Sun beckoned him to come and he did so. He watched the taller man retrieve a blanket, and returned to wrap it around Chansung. Yong-Sun sighed and brushed at Chansung’s hair.

            “I...still can't get over how much you've grown into a wonderful man." Yong-Sun said with a fond smile. "I still see the little kit who wanted to write endless little stories and tell me how much he did not like the snow."

            Chansung felt that deep ache in his chest again. Looking down, he sighed softly.

            "You’ll only make it hurt, keeping it inside.” He said concerned. “A part of me wishes I could go back and break this all to you more gently. I’m sure my being here probably makes things very difficult and strange, too.”

            “No, it means so much to me that you're here. If it seems like I'm apprehensive, it's only because...well, I'm scared. We've been apart for so long, I don't want you to hate me.” He murmured and hugged himself. “It feels like...my heart is being ripped from my chest.”

            “Sit, cub, sit down.”

            Chansung did as told and let Yong-Sun place his glass on the end table beside him.

            “I often wondered what would happen if we met again. I thought I had made peace with things, but you never really do. I loved all of you so much." Yong-Sun admitted. "I feel like I should take responsibility as well. All these years...I feel like I've been a coward.”

            Chansung met his gaze sadly. “You're no coward. You stood up to her today. You're still here with us, despite everything. I...I don't think there's anything I could say that would console you but it truly means a lot to me that you're here. I just...I'm sorry I don't remember anything.”

            “Don't carry the weight of what I may feel on your shoulders. We all could have done something-”

            “How can I not?" Chansung interrupted, angry. "I...I can’t imagine the pain of not being able to be with your Significant after being together with them for years. Even worse, to be...what? To be cut out of the picture..?” He said softly.

            Yong-Sun looked down at his hands. “That is nothing compared to the hurt I have felt in you and your siblings. Nothing compared to what I witnessed, what your mother said, and all the things she has done to you, your brothers and sisters and so many people over the years...”

            Chansung felt it welling up inside him, the hurt, the pain. “I...I know she loved and cared about us, she did. I’ve been having dreams about when I was small, the things I can remember: smiles, happiness, encouragement.” He tried to stop the tremble of his hands. "I remember when they stopped, too, but some things are so fuzzy."

            Yong-Sun gripped his hand. “Yes, your mother cared greatly for you, I would never ever deny that. I meant what I said to her. I truly miss her, who she was. She was such a loving and bubbly person. It's just...she began to lose sight of that, for whatever reason, and it has become twisted. Sometimes I thought it was my fault. Would any of this have happened...if I wasn't your father's second Significant? But it doesn't help to think that way. I don't know what happened to her, to change her. I wish I did, but I don't think she would allow me the chance to understand.”

            Chansung sighed in frustration. “You're much kinder than I am.”

            Yong-Sun smiled and gripped his hands harder. “Perhaps, but I think there is a time for holding people accountable. Your mother, Chung-Hee and I are still Significants, and the bond between us all is stronger than anything. Even today when I saw her, I wanted to do nothing more than comfort her, to comfort Chung-Hee. It hurts right now, it is raw and painful right now, and if I can help ease it in any way I will. But, I realised something today, and it was the fact that all three of us were there together with you. We all love you so much, Chansung, but, we've caused you a lot of hurt with our choices.”

            Chansung swallowed hard and looked away. Even if Chansung couldn't really remember him, the deeper part that knew Yong-Sun, felt so comforted by those words.

            “I really...don’t want you to think you were used to cause pain...” Yong-Sun said softly, hand maintaining the firm hold on Chansung’s. “I may be overstepping, but your mother, Chung-Hee and I were really and truly happy once. I remember the day of your birth. Chung-Hee was definitely more nervous than me or your mum. She said to him, ‘you’d think you carried this little kit.’ I remember so many things, Chansung, your birth, your first smiles, your first words...we were so blessed, Chansung. I never want you to believe that you were not loved, even if it is different now, not the same, people do change. Sometimes not in good ways, and that is not always easy to accept. I know I had a hard time accepting it. So just...take your time, but remember that so many people would go to the end of the world if it meant it could spare you any further hurt, okay?” He said and held Chansung’s hand to his face. “I don't want you to feel anymore pain.”

            Finally smiling, Chansung drifted closer and slowly pressed their foreheads together. “I may have needed a little bit of help to find you, but I hope you know I’m never letting go ever again.”

            Yong-Sun chuckled, “oh I know. I’m alright with that.”

            “I might ask you a thousand annoying questions.”

            “Sweet kit, you've done that since you were small." Yong-Sun said, hands holding Chansung's face. "You can be angry, you can be sad, anything, just take things as you can, even Aurora. It will hurt, but there’s so much love around you. So many people love you so much, okay?”

            It felt...uplifting and liberating at the same time, hearing Yong-Sun say those words.

            “Seeing how much pain you’re going through...it’s driving me feel super protective.” Yong-Sun admitted. “Min-Jun, that dastardly bear. There's a reason we made him your godfather.”

            Chansung gasped, "what?!”

            "Yes, if anything were to happen to any of us, he was to become your guardian. I guess...it happened anyway. There is nothing quite like a bear's love, especially Min-Jun's."

            Nodding in agreement, Chansung smiled. "It really meant a lot to me when you stood up to Aurora. If there is one thing I wish could be caught on those cameras it would have been that."

            “Absolutely not! Can you imagine if that happened? It would have been scandalous.”

            Chansung grinned, “The world would have seen her true colours - and you can't fool this nose, I could tell you would've been pleased.”

            Yong-Sun pinched Chansung’s nose briefly, “saucy.”

            Feeling lighter, Chansung looked over Yong-Sun who was still fuming a little bit. “I missed it, you know?”

            Yong-Sun looked upon him curiously, “missed what?”

            “Being loved so deeply.” He whispered. “I don’t know what would have happened to me, truly. Finding Wooyoung, Min-Jun, and Taecyeon, meeting Junho, and you, it’s like the empty parts of me have been filled. Although I don’t remember, and I don’t know what has happened all these years, I really hope that we can make new memories. I want to make new memories, and keep filling up those empty parts.”

            A range of emotions passed over Yong-Sun’s face and he was fighting back tears. “Making new memories sounds grand, Chansung.”

            Feeling exhausted, Chansung cuddled down into his blanket and looked over him. Then his mind got to wandering. "Say...did you ever see Aurora's other hybrid?"

            Yong-Sun sighed but shook his head. "From what I understand she carries the gene, but it was never clear if she had a second."

            "I have other questions about her but I would just keep you up all night asking. Wooyoung wouldn't be happy if I did that."

            Yong-Sun smiled. “Yes, you should go and rest, Chansung. Spend some time with Wooyoung, and then when you’re ready, keep moving forward. It’s almost Christmas so also think of your siblings.”

            “I hope dad moves away from the Capital. It would be nice. Then he and my siblings could start new, start fresh.” He said with hope.

            “I agree.” Yong-Sun smiled and tentatively reached out and gripped his shoulder. “I think you’re very strong, Chansung. But...it’s alright to let your feelings out too, although I’m sure you know that.”

            Chansung nodded, “I just...need my own space to think about things.”

            “Yes, I’m the same way." Yong-Sun rose to full height and stepped back. "I like to think you got that from me, because your dad and Aurora are not like that," he chuckled.

            Chansung felt so much lighter, and he felt a deeper appreciation for Yong-Sun.

            Yong-Sun shooed him down the hall. “I wish you a good rest, Chansung. Thank you...for feeling you could speak with me.”

            Chansung paused but then he was hugging Yong-Sun tightly. "I'm so happy to have you back."

            Slowly, Yong-Sun was holding him back, except Chansung felt so many emotions as he did so. He couldn't remember, it hurt, but he saw the fragments of Yong-Sun. In a garden, running around, laughing, hugging him close.

            Tears welled up in Chansung's eyes. "Papa..." He whispered.

            Yong-Sun sobbed against his shoulder. "I've got you, my cub. I'm here..."

            Resting his head on Yong-Sun's shoulder, Chansung ground his teeth together. Just how much did his mother want to hurt him? 

            “Thank you for listening, and making sure I keep my head out of the clouds.” He whispered to Yong-Sun.

            "Are you kidding?" Yong-Sun leaned back and looked over him. "I want you to fly and soar to the happiest of places, Chansung."

            Grinning despite their tears, they shared a laugh, and it was such a release.

            "Well, teach me how to soar with confidence then."

            Yong-Sun smiled and nodded, "let's learn together."

            Chansung hugged him again. It felt so good. 

            When he made it back to the guest room, he looked over his siblings and Wooyoung fondly. Weaseling his way between them, and wrapping his arms around Wooyoung, he kissed the back of his neck.

            “Mmn...Chan...” Wooyoung murmured, but stayed asleep.

            “You’re seriously so cute...” He whispered and finally managed to close his eyes, and succumb to sleep.

*

            Chansung knelt down as Kaiden and Ae Cha stood in the doorway. “Auntie Mei is coming to pick you up to bring you to see dad.” He said as he made sure they were dressed well.

            “Are you coming too, big brother?” Kaiden asked.

            “Not yet, but I think we should go to the carnival tomorrow with Seren, Snow and Cho Hee, hey?”

            “With brudder Wooyoung?” Ae Cha asked.

            “Of course, I don’t think he would miss it for the world.”

            “Will you come home then?” Kaiden asked.

            Chansung nodded, “yes. I want to see dad tomorrow night.”

            Kaiden looked satisfied.

            “Don’t be mean to brudder Wooyoung.” Ae Cha huffed.

            Chansung laughed, “I won’t. I promise.”

            At the doorbell, Chansung stood up and opened the door.

            “Oh, my little sweets. Are you ready to come with auntie?” Their aunt Mei asked and hugged them both.

            “Yes!”

            “I wanna see papa!”

            "I missed you, auntie!"

            “Auntie missed you both so much, too, you wonderfully cute kittens. I'm happy you're all home.” She said as she knelt back. “Was big brother good to you?”

            Both nodded happily, “big brudder is coming home tomorrow, auntie.”

            “I know! Isn’t it wonderful?”

            They were both big smiles and nodding again.

            “Well, your brother and sisters are waiting for you.”

            “Auntie, I want to take them all to the carnival tomorrow.” Chansung said before she made to leave. “I’ll head to the house after.”

            She paused but then smiled, “are you sure?”

            Chansung gave a short nod. “Yes, I need to be with him.”

            Mei seemed to sigh in relief, “he needs you too. You know who...has been quite ghastly. I don’t know what your father would have done without Taecyeon and I, and these sweet little rascals.”

            Chansung gripped her shoulder, “he’s lucky to have had the both of you.”

            “I’ll make supper. Even though I know you’ll be stuffing your faces with goodies, it’ll be ready by 7pm, you hear?”

            Standing back, Chansung smiled, “alright.”

            “Bring that lovely boyfriend of yours.”

            Even happier, Chansung nodded, “Sounds good, auntie.”

            She gave him one last look before turning and leading his siblings out.

            Waving after them, he turned back inside and shut the door. Making his way back to the guest room his senses were alarmed.

            As he walked in Wooyoung was beginning to sit up, his pallor was pale and he was sweating, his eyes teary.

            “Hey, what’s wrong?” Chansung asked as he came to sit beside him.

            Wooyoung collapsed into him immediately.

            “I panicked,” he gasped. “You weren’t here and Kai and Ae Cha were gone. I didn't know where I was, I was...I had a nightmare. I was running so hard towards the train station. You were leaving again and I couldn’t handle it. The sound of the train, the cold, the pain; I got there too late. And then, I dreamt about the realm pool and Aurora and...” Wooyoung covered his face.

            Realising that Wooyoung had been putting on a brave face, Chansung embraced him firmly and rocked him back and forth.

            “I...I’m sorry.” Wooyoung sobbed. “I don’t care if you remember or not, please don’t leave.”

            “I’m not leaving you, ever.” Chansung whispered and kissed his temple. “You made it to the train, Wooyoung.”

            Wooyoung edged back and gripped Chansung’s arms. He shook his head and was breathing heavily.

            Something was strange about his eyes, they were silver, but there were flickers of black amidst them. He continued to pull himself away and made his way over to his coat. He paused and rubbed his eyes as if they were in pain. Then, he pulled a crinkled white envelope from his inner pocket. Those wonderful yet strange silver eyes were filled with dread and despair.

            “I told you to leave...because of this…”

            Watching Wooyoung hold it out, his hand shaking, Chansung stood up and closed the distance between them. Taking it from Wooyoung’s hand, Chansung guided him back to the bed and also sat himself down.

            “Wait - wait Chansung, I don’t want-”

            “Shh, it’s alright.” He assured and removed the letter from the envelope.

            Heart beginning to pound in his chest, he looked over the damage of the paper, the obvious signs of water - likely tears - and wear around its edges. Wooyoung had probably read it over and over.

            Flipping the letter open, Chansung looked upon the contents.

            Jang Wooyoung,

            Here we are once again. This time you are not a naive child. For the last time, I would appreciate you leaving my son alone. I feel your family has done quite enough damage to mine for a lifetime, and Fortune will always be the shining example of that. It would be favourable for you to distance yourself from Chansung. If not, then I shall take matters into my own hands, once again. I will tarnish the work your despicable father has done and set back the voting of the bills. I have done it before and I would have no qualms about doing it again. Chansung doesn’t remember you and he never will. Your Realm made sure of that.

                                                                                                Hwang Aurora, Omega

            Despicable.

            That word leapt off the paper. What she wrote was unforgivable what she wrote, what she did, and what she was doing now. There was no excuse, none at all which would redeem her.

            “I...I didn’t know how to tell you...” Wooyoung said quietly. “I thought perhaps it wasn’t her, but…”

            It went unsaid, but Chansung could surmise enough; other things followed the letter.

            “I wouldn’t either.” Chansung admitted, slowly folding the letter closed. He rested his head in his hands and sighed heavily. “I can understand why you told me to go-”

            “That's not – its not...” Wooyoung trailed off as Chansung once more engaged his gaze.

            Wooyoung swallowed hard and looked like he was doing everything that he could to breathe evenly, but he was becoming more and more emotional.

            “I could only hope that maybe you would be able to forgive me. I hoped you would understand about why I had to stay hidden, but honestly I just didn’t know what to do. All I could think about was protecting the work of our fathers, of Fei, and all the people who have helped them, who have been waiting for this to happen. For you, because you worked so hard too, and because of everything you've been through.”

            Chansung’s jaw tightened. His mother was willing to go that far, to keep Wooyoung in the shadows, to set back all the work his father, Taecyeon, Fei, and even he himself, along with so many others, just to keep things hidden. Chansung knew the fear was still there because Wooyoung probably never would have shown him until the bills passed.

            “You did nothing wrong, Wooyoung. It's her. I truly, truly don’t understand her.” Chansung said finally. “I’m sorry she...I’m sorry, Wooyoung. I’m so very sorry.”

            Wooyoung came forward and held his face. “She’s hurt you, me, so many people - don’t you dare apologise for her.”

            Crushing the letter in his hand, Chansung began to tremble. “You didn’t deserve this, or any of the pain I have brought into your life.”

            “Don’t say that, it isn't because - you’ve been hurt, too. Just…” Wooyoung gripped his shirt and kept him close. "It terrified me when you came to Fortune." He admitted. “I have so many things I want to talk to you about but…” His grip tightened and loosened in Chansung’s shirt. "I truly was terrified that you were in Fortune. I didn't want to think about what she would do. But then, you...I was devastated after I told you to leave. I felt like a part of me was being ripped out, like my whole body was on fire. It’s been unbearable, Chansung. I feel like I made the biggest mistake that day. I can't explain how much pain I've been in since then.” He almost seethed, whatever he was experiencing now seemed excrutiatingly painful. "It's getting worse and worse..."

            Chansung looked over him worriedly. "What's getting worse, Wooyoung?"

            "I..." Wooyoung was holding him with trembling hands. "I don't want you to see." He covered his eyes, a strange aura was reeling off him.

            "Do you want me to get Min-Jun?"

            "No..." He whispered. "I don't want...you to see."

            "I can leave."

            Wooyoung laughed bitterly. "Can I just...I don't really want to hide anything from you anymore, Chansung."

            "Yeah, but I can wait until you're ready."

            Wooyoung lowered his hands. "I'll never be ready. You've taught me...it's best to just let things go."

            Then, Wooyoung was looking at Chansung with pitch black eyes with small flecks of silver every so often. He'd never seen anything like this before.

            Feeling himself falling, Chansung found himself back in the bakery in Fortune. It was eerie, though. Looking out to the bakery entrance, he noticed Wooyoung at the door.

            "W-Wooyoung..?"

            As he opened the door, the scenery shifted and they were in the Shelter. A small Wooyoung was surrounded by children. He was looking unseeing at the floor as they yelled and screamed at him. And then, they started to hit him.

            "Please don't look..."

            Hands slid over his eyes and Chansung felt himself falling again.

            Landing, he heard soft sniffles and turned to look to his right. There was a small fire and a tiny Wooyoung. His eyes were black like now. White and black distortions flickered around them, and Chansung could see different images of the incident, of Wooyoung's mother Mi-Yung, other foxes.

            Walking over slowly, Chansung knelt down and reached out. As soon as he came into contact with Wooyoung, scenes of the day of accident rolled over and over in his mind. Baron chasing them, Baron killing his mother, killing Wooyoung, killing Chansung, Wooyoung dying in the tree, Chansung being swallowed by the realm pool. It was like...endless alternate versions of the events of that day, or after, different scenarios, different...possibilities.

            Feeling himself coming back to reality, Chansung was kneeling before Wooyoung and gasping for air and holding his hands tightly.

            Looking over him carefully, Chansung reached out and cupped his face.

            "I didn't want you to see that..." Wooyoung whispered. "But...it's a part of me..."

            "Say it once and never again."

            Wooyoung nodded. "I...I never wanted to tell you. It's such a deep part of me. Remember how I said there was an incident after I couldn't use the 'illusions', how I can't create illusions anymore?" His eyes were half black now.

            "Yes."

            "When I feel really stressed out, panicked, I have episodes like this. Hybrids with black eyes...we're almost like a curse, you know?" Wooyoung smiled so brokenly, so sadly. "When I was at the Shelter, when I got fed up, I ran back to the pool. I cursed the fox spirit. I tried...to see if there was a future where I was happy. I used my illusions on myself...I guess I tried to use to foresee the future, the different parallels. No matter what I saw...it ended in death or hurt. I tried to find one. But someone was always sacrificed, hurt, or gone. I couldn't handle it. I broke...I broke!" Wooyoung was shaking fiercely. "The only future was the one we were living and I couldn't see. I had to live with our current reality, and I couldn't. I wanted you to come back so badly, to save me. I don't know what happened, but you appeared. I know you did." Wooyoung was speaking so weakly now. "I was at the pool where we built the fire and you appeared before me. You held me close and told me, 'I'm always here, but for the other me, you have to wait.' And, I didn't understand. But...I did when you came back."

            Holding Wooyoung tightly, Chansung brushed his hand over his hair. "Wooyoung..."

            "I wanted you to come back to me for so long, Chansung. As time went on, I thought you would never come back. When you did I was terrified. All those visions from when I was a child, all I could think was something terrible was going to happen. I didn't want to lose you. So I did what I could to keep myself hidden, but no matter how hard I tried, it was like we kept crashing into each other. When you went after the Catchers I thought Baron was going to really take you away from me, but he didn't. When your mother came I thought the same. I thought she was going to ruin everything and I was terrified of what might happen. But you stayed. I tried to protect myself by pushing you away because I would rather you still be alive than lose you any other way. I couldn't handle it, Chansung. It drives me crazy how much my entire being wants you close to me. I want all your focus on me, and...and I need us to slow down - but I need you." He muttered. "I feel so needy damnit.”

            Chansung finally released a breath he had been holding and even gave a small chuckle, which seemed to make him relax. “Sorry...”

            “It’s not your fault," he rubbed his cheeks and looked out the window, "but it’s your fault.”

            “I'm happy to take responsibility if that makes you feel better.” Chansung cooed, causing Wooyoung to look at him more bashfully. "But, I am right here. I'm no illusion, Wooyoung."

            Wooyoung swallowed hard as he came nearer. "Really..?"

            “Feel as needy as you want, let it out. Do what you need to to make me real to you.”

            Wooyoung’s hand twitched nearer to Chansung’s as he sat even closer.

            This was different than the rekindling they had before. Things were revealed now, and Wooyoung was leaving things bare.

            Slowly, tentatively, Wooyoung reached out, and the moment his skin touched Chansung’s, he could tell a jolt of warmth shocked Wooyoung because it did the same to him.

            “Mmn...” Wooyoung clutched his shirt tightly and the flush on his cheeks deepened. “It’s...this is how it felt before all this mess. I couldn’t - I still can’t get used to the rush I feel whenever we touch each other and how much I want it. It feels different now...without the fear holding me back.” Wooyoung admitted when he looked up again. "Can I be a little possessive, Chansung?"

            Chansung’s face went very red. The heat had him leaning back until he was lying down and covering his face. He didn't know what he was about to experience but he wanted it.

            “You can try and hide but I can see a lot of that blush, Chansung.”

            That only made him hotter. "I'm trying to be calm."

            “You’re so cute…”

            “I’m just ridiculously happy, despite everything...”

            Wooyoung’s hands were smoothing up his stomach and chest, and then he was straddling Chansung’s hips. “Chansung, can I hug you?”

            “What? Yes, of course.”

            Uncovering his face and sitting up immediately, he found himself wrapped in those arms. He shut his eyes and returned the sweet embrace, and burrowed his face into Wooyoung’s neck.

            “I love touching you...” Wooyoung whispered.

            Swooning to the moon and back, Chansung kissed his neck.

            “Touch me all you want,” Chansung said softly, unable to stop his ears and tail from appearing.

            Wooyoung's arms trembled, but he was holding Chansung so tightly, it both calmed him and made him sorrowful.

            “I want to hear more, Wooyoung. I know it’s been years of nonstop hell, but I want to hear it all.”

            Wooyoung sighed and came to rest his head against Chansung’s shoulder. “I don’t want to tell you.” Wooyoung said quietly and closed his eyes as Chansung’s hand smoothed over his hair. “In time, yes, but I still won’t ever want to. I want to bury everything. I don't want you to know how desperately I tried to see a future with you.”

            “Well, if that’s what you want. I'm also happy to just create our future together with you that's beautiful and bright as it should be.”

            This time, Wooyoung hid his face. “You overwhelm me so much when you say things like that-”

            In one swift movement, Chansung pressed his lips against his tenderly.

            Wooyoung gasped and gripped the back of his shirt tightly.

            When he finally managed to drift back, he said softly, “I can’t stand seeing you upset. I really can’t, especially knowing how strong you are. You’re trembling in my arms right now. No matter how much I know you must want to touch me, you’re also still scared, and I acknowledge that.” Chansung said, causing Wooyoung to shake his head, but it was futile. “Whatever my mother has said, whatever she has done, no matter what you tried to do to see our future together, I just need to say...I can’t go through the pain of losing you. I don’t want to. I...” Chansung looked over his face. “Now, just like when you came to the train station, I can tell it's taking everything for you to stay with me, be close to me. You look like you're in so much pain, Wooyoung. At the train station you collapsed!”

            Wooyoung's eyes were filling with tears again. “I really didn’t want you to go though...I'm really and truly desperate, Chansung.”

            “I know,” He said gently. “I...I want you to tell me you want me to stay because you want me to. I’ve been...really confused the past couple days, thinking and thinking over everything.” He admitted and brushed his thumbs over Wooyoung's cheeks. “But the one thing I do know is...I’m sure about the way I feel about you, and...I just want you to believe in that and have faith in me. I'm going to take that desperation in and show you how much I want you, Wooyoung.”

            It was instantaneous, Wooyoung cried. “I know. I want you so badly, Chansung. I was terrified, but I’ve been hoping for so long, even in times when I felt I should give up it was still there. I thought, ‘even if I can see you just once, just one more time that would be enough.’ It was scary; there was a lot of pain, but…” Wooyoung’s hold was even tighter.

            “Sorry...” Chansung said quietly and hugged him tight. “Seems like all I can do is make you cry lately...”

            “I’m not sad crying, idiot cat.” He grumbled. “I’m super overwhelmed by you. Despite how horrible your mom is still, I...I like you and want you so much and she doesn’t like it, and there’s so much I want to tell you but I’m scared you’ll really leave, but you just say things that blast my worries and fears away and I wonder what I’m scared of.” He blabbered. “What’s wrong with your mother anyway? It pisses me off.”

            Chansung laughed and rubbed his back. “Believe me, I want answers too.”

            “We need them, but not right now.” He huffed and managed to right himself. “I just want to lie next to you and know you’re there. We can think about the big things when the emotions aren't so high strung.”

            Chansung chuckled, “’kay.”

            “Wait...I need a shower first.” He said, but Chansung pulled him back.

            “Can I come?”

            Wooyoung blushed heavily and met his eyes. “I only need five minutes.”

            “I’ll sit on the floor. I don't really want to be too far from you, Wooyoung. I can tell you feel the same.”

            Wooyoung whimpered, “no peeking.”

            Chansung laughed but he did as told. He was sure he needed it just as much as Wooyoung did.

            While Chansung couldn't get Wooyoung's eyes out of his mind, he wanted to prove Wooyoung that he loved his black eyes, too. He wanted to prove to Wooyoung that he loved all the different parts of him. He was blushing at how strongly he was feeling about it all. They might have started the rekindling at Yong-Sun's, but now it really and truly felt real.

            Something changed in Wooyoung when Chansung told him the bills had passed, and now he knew: Wooyoung no longer needed to fear Aurora. There was nothing left that she could take away or hinder. And, even if it wasn't intended, Chansung knew he witnessed a deep part of Wooyoung that he was desperately trying to hide. But it came out, and when Wooyoung was ready, he wanted to do whatever he could to assure him they were in reality, and Chansung wasn't going anywhere. There had to be a way to heal him so he could control his illusions again.

            When Wooyoung was dried off and in fresh clothes, Chansung tugged him along back to the bedroom. He laid down and surrounded Wooyoung completely in his arms and his scent.

            Wooyoung sighed deeply and looked over him. “Did you peek?”

            “I didn’t!” Chansung grumbled. “No faith...”

            Wooyoung couldn’t help but smile. “You have my trust, Chansung.”

            Chansung cooed and smiled. He knew the deepness and weight of those words. He would take care to never lose the trust Wooyoung was giving him. Brushing back Wooyoung’s still damp hair, he leaned in and kissed his forehead.

            “Even if you couldn't see this future, Wooyoung, I think that means it is the real and true one." He said softly.

            Wooyoung nodded. "I...I'm beginning to believe it, too."

            Chansung kissed him softly. "And for the record, I don’t care what she thinks. This journey has done a lot for me, personally, and has really...I don’t think I could truly express what its has meant to me.” He chuckled and tucked his head under Wooyoung’s chin.

            “Well, we have the time.” Wooyoung said as he wrapped his arms tightly around Chansung’s neck. “We have all the time to catch up, to...to make new memories, to do what we want.” He said shakily and sighed softly as Chansung hugged him closer. "We're going to create our own future, right, Chansung?"

            "Definitely, and I'm really excited for it." He leaned up and grinned.

            Wooyoung pulled him into another kiss and another.

            Hearing a small knock at the door, Chansung got to his feet and made his way over. Two little visitors were waiting outside, tails and ears making them all the more adorable.

            “Hello my little ones.” Chansung greeted and knelt down. “Did you have a good visit with everyone?”

            Ae Cha nodded as Kaiden yawned.

            “Come on, let’s have a cat nap, hey?” He lifted them both up and brought them to the bed.

            Wooyoung took Ae Cha and kissed her head, and she settled quite happily between them.

            Kaiden lay quietly on Chansung's chest, his fingers were curling and uncurling in his hair, which was getting a bit long now. He could smell his other siblings all over them.

 “Babies look good on you, kit.” Wooyoung commented suddenly.

            “Shush, you tease...” He grumbled, but smiled at him.

            Wooyoung flicked his nose before brushing back Ae Cha’s hair.

            Chansung looked over them quietly. He believed that their future was bright.

            They likely still had some things to go through, but watching as Wooyoung relaxed, the worry lines fading from his face, Chansung smiled.

            "Wooyoung, I want to create the most beautiful future with you."

            Wooyoung looked at him, cheeks red and eyes bright. "Damnit Chansung..."

            Snickering, Chansung gripped his hand. "What?"

            "Don't ask me what?!" Wooyoung looked away from him. "Stop making me fall for you."

            "I already know you did, I want you to feel in love with me, Wooyoung."

            Wooyoung gasped and gripped his hand tightly. "You silly kit, how much more of my heart do you need?"

            Chansung shuffled closer, turned him to face him, and kissed him deeply.

            Wooyoung pushed him back gently, breathing deeply.

            "I want all of it."

            Those heated silver eyes and Wooyoung's desperate look had Chansung swooning.

            Laying down, they looked at each other quietly for a while, the quiet breathing of his siblings filling the silence.

            "We'll be in your room tomorrow, right?"

            Chansung blushed, "yes."

            "Until tomorrow then, kit."

            There was a promise in those words, a heated and passionate promise, and Chansung was looking forward to it. He put the letter, his thoughts about the past and his anxieties to the back of his mind. No worry, no stress, and thoughts about family and the future, what might happen and what might not, while nervewracking, would have to wait until tomorrow. Just like that, he fell into a deep sleep.

*

Next Chapter...The House of Hwang

AN: I think this was one of my favourite chapters to write during the re-write, especially the last part. Thanks for the comments! You're all golden. Take care and stay safe.