Since Changmin hyung was arrested, I will take the story telling job to show you what happened in our house.

We all had a hard time adjusting to life without Changmin hyung.

Of course, Yoona who was the one attached to him the most was the most affected.

My family and I might love Changmin hyung but Yoona needed him in her life.

Changmin's last day in our house was full of grief and tears. Changmin had came home and packed a small suitcase. I later learned that two officers were waiting for him in front of our house. They were supposed to go in with him but my mother begged them to not enter so we wouldn't suspect anything.

Yoona was sleeping since she spent the previous night waiting for hyung, so in result,  she didn't get to say goodbye to him like the rest of us did.

Changmin went to say his goodbye to Yoona while we all waited downstairs.

I think he cried a lot in her room.

He had placed one of the stickers we won when we went to the amusement park a long time ago along with his watch next to her body. I suppose they were things he wanted her to remember him with.

After that, he made his way to each and everyone one of us, and he hugged us as if that was the last hug we'll ever get.

"Where are you going, Oppa?" Neya asked.

"He's going abroad to study as you all know," my dad answered for him.

What we all knew was Changmin hyung was going to the Nasub, my parents told us he applied in other countries as well but we were told none of them accepted him.

But still we didn't argue and just watched my parents leaving with him to the "airport".

***********

I didn't learn about Changmin's arrest until the day after he left.

"...we need to get Changmin out of jail," I heard my mom whispering in the kitchen to my dad.

"We'll try honey but you know how strict the law is," my dad replied, taking a sip from his tea, "I don't want you to get your hopes up too high then you'll end up disappointed."

"Changmin's hyung's in jail?" I walked in to them. I was just fourteen but I'd like to think that I was mature for my age.Just like Changmin hyung was for his.

My mom was startled but she sighed, sadness overwhelming her, "Lower your voice, I don't want the kids to hear."

I took further steps into the living room and pulled a chair for myself.

"Changmin...committed an unintentional crime," my mom explained before her face crumbled even more and tears started to descend on her cheeks.

"What happened?" I asked. Mom continued to cry causing my dad to put down the news paper and walking  to her side. He put his hand on her shoulder quietly.

"Did he drink and drive?steal something?break into a house? Run over somebody?" I questioned when they ignored my previous question.

What is it that hyung had done that made even my dad cry? I thought.

My dad looked up and smiled sadly

"I wish that was the case, Kris. I wish that was the case..." he mumbled.

"Hyung....?" I was stunned.

Did Changmin hyung...??

"Changmin killed Hani," my dad said the words.

I was left speechless.

I cannot deny the fact I always wished Hani was dead. But for my own brother to do it, that I didn't want.

Changmin hyung and Hani always had fights and this time, hyung ended up killing him.

Now back to the heroine of this story, Yoona. While we were sitting down in the silence the day Changmin hyung left, a high pitched scream reached us.

"Where's Changmin?" She shouted as she ran down the stairs, hair messy and face wet.

It was just me and Neya then since my parents left with Changmin(to the airport, we thought)

"Where's Changmin?" She repeated in a harsh tone, her eyes glaring at me.

"He left to the airport," Neya informed her in an annoyed tone.

"Why?" Yoona questioned fearfully.

"He's going to study abroad," Neya shrugged.

"Why didn't he wake me up?" She asked.

We stayed quite....

Then she lost all her senses. She started screaming and crying and that was the first day of many others where Yoona would, out of nowhere, start screaming like a maniac.

Every day and every hour almost, she would call Changmin's number and he wouldn't reply.

"He promised he would call me everyday" She would cry.

She really thought he left to study abroad.

"I kept my promise, he should keep his too!"

Eventually , Yoona became extremely sick(the result of her refusal to eat or drink) that she had to stay in the hospital for three days.

Instead of growing up, Yoona grew nine years younger. In other words, she became the same girl who joined our family nine years ago.Her crying was the same, full of screams and she became so attached to my mom she was forced to sleep with Yoona many times.

It was like Yoona lost her family all over again.

Occasionally, Yoona would wake up in the middle of the night, find hyung's bedroom, lay on his bed and begin to cry then of course, the screaming would follow.

Eventually, my mom had to lock his room until who knows when.

One day, while I was home with Yoona because the rest had to go winter shopping, I witnessed something that sent shivers down my spine.

I was watching TV in the living room while Yoona was (like usual) locked in her room when I started to hear something.

At first it was just faint knocking but then the knocking became loud and I heard whispering, it was Yoona's voice.  And she was talking to someone.

I ran upstairs to see what was going on and found her knocking on hyung's door fearfully.

I stood there, studying her. Yoona and I are bestfriends, she used to be mischievous and obnoxious but now, she's a whole new person. I realized at the moment how much I actually missed the old Yoona.

"Changmin, open up please!" she cried, almost breaking the door, "Changmin open up, he's coming for me..."

I watched her banging on hyung's locked door like a wild animal.

"Changmin, please help me...you promised  you will protect me....he's coming, he wants to hurt me..."

She continued to knock and look behind her as if someone was going to pop out from the walls surrounding her.

"Changm-i-n," she pleaded, her hair falling down in front of her face, "Save me from him..."

I opened my mouth, wanting to say something but nothing came out.

She stopped knocking but continued to call hyung's name in defeat, "Changmin take me with you please."

"Yoona," I finally managed to call from where I stood because I was unable to move.

Yoona's eyes slowly looked around until they were landed on mine and a faint, hopeful smile made its way on her lips.

"Oppa! You're here!  tell Changmin to let us in before he comes for us," Yoona said as dashed towards me and held both my arms tightly. She tried to pull me towards Changmin's room but my feet stood firm on the ground.

"Who's coming for us, Yoona?" I questioned.

She looked to her left then her right then back at me and whispered very faintly, "Hani."

"Why is he after you?"  I asked.

Yoona let to of my arms and blinked twice before answering, "Hani is a bad guy, Oppa...Hani wants to..." She trailed off and covered her face with her hands.

"What does he want to do?" I pressed on.

She looked up at me slowly, took a deep breathe and a faint whisper escaped her lips, "it's a secret."

And then, she fainted.

**********

School was out of question. There's no power on earth that could make the broken Yoona attend school.

My mother decided to send Yoona to Jung BoA for help. But since mrs.Jung was on her honeymoon with her husband, Yunho hyung , it wasn't until two months after Chanmin's arrest that she was reunited with Yoona.

After a couple of visits to BoA, her condition improved bit by bit.

On one of the bad days where Yoona would scream her lungs out, i wondered If shes like this only because Hyung wasn't around.

Is it possible that she witnessed the murder and was unable to talk about it? After all she was with Hyung when he killed Hani.

"Yoona, when Hyung missed his exam, did you spend the day with him?" I asked on one of her not-so-intense days.

She looked taken back for a bit but then she glared at me.

"Yes but I was asleep the entire time," she said firmly, " I don't remember anything from that day."

And then she took off to her room.

After a couple of visits to Mrs.Jung, Yoona started to accept the fact Hyung isn't here and that he won't answer his phone. My mom told me and Neya to never speak of him in front of Yoona, and we did. When she was around, we pretended that we didn't have an older brother by the name of Changmin.

Yoona was the only one who was allowed to bring up his name.

"I'll go with Changmin  when he comes back," she said when I offered to take her to the amusement park.

"I'll give it back to Changmin when he returns," she would say as she would tuck his watch under her pillow.

The only time when I felt like I really had a brother was when we visited him but that too, was taken away because the road to the capital was locked most of the time and because our city was almost destroyed by bombings (that we survived) so my dad made us move all the way to Jushi, a city four hours away from home but a lot safer.

And that's when all forms of contact with Changmin hyung were cut off.