Donghae

 

“Why don’t you ever listen to me, Donghae? I told you to leave Saebyuk alone ,” he said, before he took another sniff of the cigarette he had in his hand.

 

It was another rainy day in Seoul, Korea.

 

The country was still in chaos. The communists and democrats were still threatening everyone that did not support them.

 

It was the reason Saebyuk insisted on feeling the country and go to the United States.

 

And…She wanted me to go with her.

 

She chose me over him.

 

 I would go to the port tonight and then we’ll leave together, that's was the plan.

 

I had a picture of our life after. We’d arrive in the States, struggle to find jobs but we’re both persistent and hardworking. We’d find jobs, go out on dates once in a while then on a happy sunny day, I’d ask for her hand. She’d say, “Give me sometime to think.” And “let’s not rush this.” And I’ll reply “you’re all I ever wanted.” Then she’d reply two days later with a kiss. And I’d know that it’s a yes.

 

But before I go. There was something that I needed to settle with my bestman.

 

“I want her, Donghae,” Kibum said simply, “I know she’ll come around but I need you to leave her first. I’m the better choice, I can speak English and I got a college degree. While you’re only…”

 

“A baker,” I replied, swallowing my pride, “A baker who she loves.”

 

“Donghae-ah,” Kibum threw the cigarette and stomped on it, his eyes down.

 

“Just let us go, Kibum. It’s the only thing you can do anyways,” I tried to reason.

 

Kibum took his time not replying. His eyes cascaded on the cigarette as it continued to burn out. Then I saw his lips twitch for a sec before he looked up, his eyes full of unsaid rage.

 

“What if you don’t make it?” he questioned.

 

I didn’t reply as I tried to understand his implication.

 

“What happens if you miss the trip?” he elaborated.

 

“I’ll follow her to America and try my best to make our relationship work,” I replied honestly.

 

Kibum threw me a sad look before he spoke his next words, “Pity. You leave me no choice, Hae.”

 

He walked towards his garden and picked up something with his right hand as I tried to register what was happening.

 

It wasn't until he was standing in front of me again that I realized he was holding a knife.

 

I took a step back.

 

“I’m really sorry, Donghae,” he said, though his expression showed no hint of sorrow. In fact, he looked happy.

 

“Put that knife down,” I said, as I surveyed my surroundings. We were in Kibum’s back yard, the thundering storm made it impossible for me to be heard.

 

I turned around to run but Kibum was faster, always faster.

 

He jumped on my back and I fell to my face, I tried yanking him off but I couldn’t.

 

Always stronger.

 

Then it came, his first attack. On my right shoulder.

 

“Ki-b-um-” I mumbled in agony. I didn’t know which one killed me more, the physical pain or the pain of my bestfriend betraying me for a girl. Even if that girl was the innocent, delicate Saebyuk.

 

“I’m really sorry Donghae,” repeated Kibum.

 

Liar! If you really felt sorry you would’ve made it fast! You would have aimed your blade on my left shoulder or brain! Not my right shoulder! Not my left arm! Not my thighs! You secretely enjoyed this, didn’t you? Kibum? You were as jealous of me as I was of you, right, my friend?

 

My enemy?

 

As the pain continued to sear through me from all sides, the first round of blood gushed out of my mouth. Red, bright red, bloody red.

 

I don't want to die. I want to go back to saebyuk. I want to kill Kibum for hurting me...I want to hit him and slash his head open...I want to strangle him...chop him...I don't want to die...I have to get back to Saebyuk...I have to kill Kibum...I have to make him suffer...I have to hurt him...I have to...

 

Eyes closed.

 

Lips sealed.

 

Heartbeats, no more.