Deal with errors or waltz outta here for your sake

Chanyeol is surprised when Jongin casually walks out of Yura’s apartment, his posture all tense and a scowl plastered on his face. Their eyes meet and he wants to ask why the younger make is walking out of his sister’s apartment, he resists asking after studying Jongin’s features and cracks a tiny smile. “Stay?” Chanyeol whispers quietly as they keep their staring contest.

Jongin pauses for a second, “Now?” And Chanyeol knows what he means; he gives Jongin an assured nod because if he doesn’t say it today, he doesn’t think he’ll have the guts to do it in the near future.

The younger male stares at him before he hesitantly nods, his thick lips forming into a thin line and Chanyeol stalks past him and enters his sister’s apartment. He fights the feeling to turn around and run out, run back to his apartment.

He easily knows Yura is in the kitchen, the sound of spoons clanking against each other gives her location away. He forces his limbs to take himself over to the kitchen door; she’s there with her back turned to him and her stance is stiff.

The kitchen is a lot cleaner than it normally is and Chanyeol knows she’s probably spent her time cleaning and scrubbing whilst waiting for him to come over, something to keep her distracted. The smell of bleach is strong and the tiles on the ground are practically sparkling spotless.

“Yura,” He calls gently and he knows he has alarmed her; she drops the spoons and forks in her hands and spins around to gape at him.

“Chanyeol?” Looking at her in her state of distress is difficult for him because he’s so used to seeing her cheerful and bright, neat and ready to take on whatever the world is prepared to throw at her. Her normally wide eyes are red rimmed, dull and puffy looking, dry tear marks leaving ugly trails on her cheeks and her lips are wet from the constant .

She’s a mess and his heart squeezes painfully. He stands in the doorway and opens his arms out to her, knowing full well that he has ed up six ways to Sundays and there’s no running away from any of the damage.

Yura shoots herself into his open arms like a rocket and her sobs are muffled on his chest. She mumbling about how she thought her and Kris would last longer and asks what she did that was so bad that he couldn’t be with her and Chanyeol wants to break down.

It’s then that he wants to be a coward and not tell her when he actually came for; she’s already in pain and what he has been repeating to himself mentally on his way here is going to make the pain dig deeper.

The consequences of the truth are something he doesn’t want to think about, her trust in him will be gone in a split second and he doesn’t think he’ll ever get it back and she’ll hate him. Oh, she’ll hate him and he doesn’t think his whole being will bear it.

He hopes for this to go differently and hopes for Yura to still love him.

He wraps his arm around her frame and holds her tightly, his brain wrecking through everything to find what and how he’s going to break it to her. He’s lost and that in itself scares him greatly.

He leads Yura to the kitchen counter and guides her to the bar stools, she’s only sniffling now and he can tell she’s embarrassed. She has always liked to be the stronger one and her excuse is because I’m older.

Seeing her weak and knowing he’s part of the cause because of his poor decisions and letting himself be easily swept off his feet. This scares him, this whole situation scares him.

He pushes Kris at the back of his mind; he doesn’t want to think about him. Yura is his main concern at the moment and he wants it to stay that way, even though his heart throbs intensely at the thought of Kris.

He’s so useless. He’s so used to her comforting him and when it’s his turn to do the same for her, he never knows what the right thing to do or say is.

He’s ashamed to look in the mirror because the eyes that always stare back at him are filled with too much disappointment and growing self loathe. He doesn’t remember the last time his eyes shined with happiness or when he smiled an actual smile for himself. He knew it was wrong, but he did it anyway and he’s the worst kind of person, he doesn’t think it gets any worse than that.

All he feels now is dirty and shame and he keeps trying not to drown in, he can’t even handle himself and wants nothing more than to crumble straight to the ground and never get up.

Chanyeol sits beside her and breathes out heavily. He’s frustrated with himself and the whole mess, everything’s weighing down on his shoulders and he can’t do anything but try to balance everything.

“Sorry,” Yura whispers and Chanyeol feels like crying at how dithering she sounds, “It’s not your fault,” He whispers back.

“I need t-to wash up,” She says hastily and its uncharacteristic how she bounces off the stool and tries to scramble away like a weak puppy, he’s quick to grab her wrist before getting to his feet and stopping her from leaving the kitchen.

His conscience tells him it’s selfish to hide from her and pretend he isn’t the reason why her relationship is no more and why her heart is aching.

“I made a mistake,” He starts slowly, carefully picking his words and his heart is beating quicker, it’s never at its normal pace anymore. Not since Kris.

Yura’s attention suddenly focuses on him, her lips crawling into a confused line and her brows furrowing slightly. She’s look at him like she’s seeing right through him and he wishes she can read his mind, he won’t have to say what he’s about to. Won’t have to admit how much he has ed up aloud.

She opens mouth to say something and he quickly beats her to it, not wanting her to say something that’ll get him changing his mind, “I’m the reason Kris ended everything,” He tells her and she doesn’t seem to get it.

“Huh?” She frowns, “I thought you liked him?”

“I do.” It pains him to say so because he means it in a way she doesn’t understand. She smiles warily and holds his gaze, brushing her bangs from her forehead and she sighs softly.

“I don’t think I understand what you’re trying to tell me, Channie,” She says carefully after a pregnant pause and his heart his suddenly in his throat, heart bouncing carelessly around like a basketball being tossed around by an excited toddler.

There’s no turning back so he picks up whatever is left of his will to tell her the blunt truth, there’s no way to make it not hurt. His eyes are watery when he tells her and she looks a bit daze at his confession, like she can’t hear him.

“What?” She says like she’s trying to comprehend what he just said and he can feel himself choking up as he repeats himself. He can barely hear his own voice and he doesn’t know what he’s saying, the look on her face tells him what he’s saying is sinking in and she doesn’t like what she’s hearing.

And when he’s done, he feels worse. His conscience isn’t at ease; Yura’s crumbling before him and when he shakily reaches out to touch her, wanting so badly to comfort her – she takes a step back and flinches, staring at him with the look of betrayal and utter disbelief.

“Yura…” He tries again, allowing a sob to come out of his mouth as he stares at her own watery orbs, “I didn’t mean for it to – I didn’t want any –” He’s spitting out gibberish and nothing seems to make sense at this point. He just wants Yura not to give him the looks she’s gracing him with, “Yura,” He cries out and she just stares at him, she doesn’t scream at him  or hit him like he has being expecting her to.

She looks lost.

He watches as the tears finally escape her eyes and they quickly roll down her rosy cheeks, it’s like the news knocks the wind out of her when she clamps a hand over and the scream of shock that is muffled behind him startles him.

Instincts kick in and he rushes over to her, he envelopes her into his embrace even though she struggles the moment he touches her, she fights to get out of his hold but he never loosens his grip.

“I’m your sister!” She lets out a heart wrecking sob, “How could you?” How could he? He doesn’t know himself, he was stupid and this is the outcome. “You had a choice.” She gasps out and he feels her hands on his chest, trying to push him away from her but he holds onto her knowing that if he lets go, she’ll run off and shut down.                   

“L-let me go, Chanyeol!” She manages in-between her loud sobs and he stubbornly holds onto her. She’ll slip away from him if he lets her go, he can't have that. Not today, not ever. It’s chaos in his head and the fear that’s coaxing its way into his heart causes a storm in his heart.

He starts to whisper a thousand, a million apologies as he holds her tighter and starts to rock her back and forth. He begs for forgiveness as she keeps struggling to get away from him and shrieking for him to let not touch her. “Don’t hate me,” He pleads, “Please. Don’t hate me, Yura, I’m sorry.”  

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WELL. Happy 21^st(?) birthday, Chanyeol! You’re the apple of my nostrils.