Let me tell you a story about someone I love very much. Someone I love so dearly, that I would fight anything to be with them. Because of him, my life changed forever. I never thought it would end this way, we always thought it was forever… But sometimes… forever can only last so long. However, the feeling will never go away… and it’ll be forever with us. Till eternity.

It all started with a rainy day

The Beginning- Spring

It was a regular Tuesday afternoon for me, the only difference, it was pouring outside. After work I was heading home when this sudden down fall came and I was forced to take shelter inside a nearby café, just a couple of blocks away from the SM building, where I worked. I was on an internship to becoming a Manager for the company some day. But right now I, I was stuck answering phone calls, and delivering papers to all around the building.

“Would you like to order?” A soft polite voice asked beside me. I looked up to see a young girl holding a pen and notepad in her hand, patiently waiting for me to speak.

“Oh, just a hot coffee would be fine, Thank you” I replied as I was taking off my wet jacket and laying it down on my lap. She looked like she was only in high school as she walked away from my table.

I stared outside the window to my left and watched little raindrops slide down the glass. The café was very warm, very comforting compared to the cold wet wind that was going about outside. Before I knew it, the girl had come back with my hot coffee. She carefully placed the hot cup in front of me, along with a creamer and sugar. I thanked her softly before she left again to help her other customers. My cold hands wrapped around the cup, embracing the warmth that it was giving off. Carefully, I lifted the beverage to my mouth, where I slowly took a sip, making sure I didn’t burn my mouth. The warm liquid immediately relaxed my whole body.

“Ah…” I sighed, closing my eyes and inhaling the hot steam from my coffee. The aroma was just so relaxing; it felt like I was in my own world.

“Enjoying yourself?” A deep voice in front of me chuckled a little. My eyes snapped open, being welcomed by a beautiful face.

“Who are you?” I asked suspiciously, putting the cup down and looking at this stranger. He didn’t look bad, in fact, he looked…. familiar? He flashed me an award winning smile before putting his hands on the table, propping himself up, leaning more on my side

“My name is Kim Jonghyun. Haha, Uhm, I’m a trainee at SM.” He smiled. I looked at him; he was wearing a long gray rain coat and his hair was wet from the rain. “We kind of bumped into each other today, remember?” his eye brows lifting slightly.

I go through my day in my mind, and sure enough, I remembered him. I was delivering papers to a Manager in the trainee area until goofy me, wasn’t watching where I was going and bumped into Jonghyun in the hall way. Papers scattered everywhere. I was on my knees, picking up the fallen papers and apologizing when he helped me pick up and said it was his fault.

My eyes were wide after I came back to the present. I blushed from the embarrassment. “I-I’m sorry about that; Sometimes I don’t watch where I’m going” smiling a weak smile to hide my humility. He caught it and laughed softly to himself.

“It’s okay. I’m actually kind of glad we bumped into each other… I’ve been seeing you a lot around the building and wanted to talk to you, but never really had the courage to say anything.” He looked down at his hands and my eyes followed. His fingers where fidgeting; he was nervous.

“So… you decide to follow me?” my voice relaxing a bit

His eyes looked at me in defense, “No! I mean, I’m not a stalker! I w-was walking home when I saw you through the window, so I t-thought I this would be a chance to talk to you” his voice going soft again out of embarrassment. I giggled a little at his cute reaction, and Jonghyun’s face flushed a deep red.

“My name’s _______________. I’m an intern at SM” I politely introduced myself, holding my hand out over the table. Jonghyun’s face quickly lit up and shook my hand. That’s when everything began…

I will never forget that conversation we had. We talked for hours time, never running out of anything to talk about! We had our differences and also common interests. Everything about Jonghyun was just amazing to me. He and 4 other members were in training to become famous. He was an excellent singer and overall seemed like a great a person. We talked until the café was closing. There outside, he asked if he could see me again. Giving much thought, I agreed. From that day on, we met at that same café, at the same time, and always said our goodbyes right there; this went on for 3 weeks. Then it was hanging out on the weekends, texting and calling each other late at night, making lunch and dinner plans together. It wasn’t until 5 months passed that Jonghyun asked me out in our little café, in our own little booth where we met<3

2 years and Still Going-

It’s been 2 years since Jonghyun asked me out and I said ‘yes’. From then, Jonghyun’s career took off as him and s finally debuted as a K-Pop group called SHINee. After that, I became an assistant manager for his group. Our relationship together was kept a secret since Jonghyun had to appear as single. We had our ups and down, and our own fair share of fights. Now and then we would both break down from the pressure and work…

“Look _______, I’m sorry! I’m trying my best, you know that! It’s just; SHINee’s growing so big and that means I have to work! I know it’s been hard, how do you think I feel?” he argued back. It was another one of those fights I started. Always wanting attention, getting jealous over the little fans that screamed for him…

“We never spend time together anymore… we hadn’t had a date for 3 months already! I barely see you, and when I do, it’s only for like 20 minutes….” looking down at the ground. I was biting my lip hard, being on the verge of tears. “I just miss you…” I quietly whispered. Jonghyun calmed down before walking towards me and taking me into his arms. He hugged me tightly, as I let him tower over me.

“I miss you too _______.... I miss you so much…” he whispered in my ear…

Then, everything went black.

“_________?! ___________! Can you hear me?? __________! Please!” a voice cried my name. It sounded so close…. But so far?

“J-Jonghyun?” I managed to say. I felt weak, dizzy.



                 

Moments passed by in my head. Hours felt only like minutes…

“Mmm…” I moved. I finally opened my eyes and find myself in a hospital room. An I.V was connected inside my right arm and Jonghyun’s hands around my left. Jonghyun sat in the chair next to my bed, his head layed down. “J-Jonghyun?” my voice croaked. Right at the sound, Jonghyun’s head lifted up in a snap.

“__________! You’re awake!” he exclaimed. He stood up so that he could my hair, giving a small light kiss on my forehead.

“What happened?” confused at everything. I looked around the room, seeing a digital clock. 3:00am.

“You passed out. Right when I let go of you. I tried waking you up but you wouldn’t say anything! I was so worried and scared! I brought you in the car and drove to the nearest hospital. The doctor said it wasn’t anything serious; you were just fatigue. They said you should spend the night to rest. _________, what did I say about pushing yourself? You’re not superman, you have to take a break sometimes” Jonghyun looked deeply in my eyes. I could see the fear and bags in his eyes from what I did.

I pulled my left hand from him and placed it on his cheek, my thumb softly against his skin, apologizing. Jonghyun closed his eyes at my touch, using his hand to hold my hand closer to his face. He brought my palm to lips, kissing it repeatedly; I smiled at his warmth.

Our small moment was disturbed by a loud knock on the door. Jonghyun’s eyes opened as he yelled ‘open.’ Inside came a tall man with a white coat on. The Doctor gave me a small smile.

“I see that you’re awake,” he nicely commented. I nod my head and smile back at him. “Well, you gave us quite a scare Ms.________, hopefully this will serve as a warning to take a break and relax” The 3 of us chuckled a little at the small joke. The Doctor tensed up as he flipped papers on the clipboard he was holding, “Uhm, I know this isn’t the best news…” he started. My stomach sank right at that moment; something wasn’t right. “As you were passed out; we ran some test to make sure you were fine and I’m sorry to say this, but it turns out that you have throat cancer Ms.________”

I stared down at my blanket, shocked. I couldn’t say a word; I mean, what should I say? ‘Aw that ? Too bad? Oh well!?’ The only thing bringing me back to reality was the pressure of Jonghyun’s hand squeezing my hand lightly. He didn’t say anything, but I could feel the fear he had as he pushed my hair behind my ear.

“It’s a good thing we detected it at this early stage Ms.________. We would like to have you on Chemo therapy immediately in order to fight the disease. I’ll leave you to discuss it” Were the last words the Doctor said before he left me and Jonghyun. I couldn’t think… in that one moment, my life flashed through me, my future….?

“___________?” his voice said my name with caution as he waited for my reaction, careful with his actions…

A tear dropped. Another tear. One after another, more came. I couldn’t stop myself.

“_________!” his hands wrapped around me, protecting me. I buried my face in his chest, letting myself go in his arms.

“I promise, we’ll get through this ___________.” He whispered.

Those were the words he repeated to me that night. He kissed me, comforted me, and protected me, until I fell asleep in his arms. We decided that Chemo was the best decision. Those days I stayed in bed, weak from the treatment. Jonghyun came by often, taking breaks from SHINee to come and spend time with me. I hated it. His scared expression. I fought with all my strength to make it seem like I was okay. Fighting to be healthy, fighting this battle on my own. Months passed and I was getting better. The treatment had seemed to be working, the cancer was going away. Everything was becoming perfect

“Jonghyun! What’s this all about?” I complained. Out of the blue, Jonghyun asked me to get ready and took me out of the house. The whole day we went from place to place; amusement parks, aquarium, shopping, lunch, ice cream parlors. We had just finished dinner at a 5 star quality dinner and were taking a nice stroll in the park. The sky was clear, stars shining bright down at us, a cold wind flowing through us as we held hands.

“I wanted this day to be perfect.” Jonghyun finally answered. He stopped walking and stood in front of me. “________, I love you. With all my heart. And I want to be with you forever. So with that said, after all we’ve been though;” He got down on one knee… “____ [Full Name] _____, Will you marry me?”

Fighting until the End- 2 Months Later

I’ll never forget the day where everything just went downhill…

It was a cold December evening. Our wedding would happen in the springtime, the same season we first met. Everything was running smoothly. I remember Jonghyun standing in front of the mirror, trying to fix his tie… SHINee was attending a big party for Christmas.

“I can stay home _________” Jonghyun sighs as he turns away from the mirror to face me. I stood in my night clothes, my hands crossed over my chest. I laughed lightly before walking up to him

“No, you go. I’m just feeling a little weak.” I smiled as I straightened his tie correctly. I was feeling off and too tired to go out with him to the party. I decided to stay back last minute and Jonghyun was complaining that he should stay.

“You sure?” Jonghyun hesitated. I nodded my head and looked at him. He leaned in for a quick kiss on the lips. “Okay, get better Honey.” Kissing me again before heading out the door

I went to the living room where I watched TV and drank hot chocolate to pass some time.

Just after 2 hours since Jonghyun left, I started to feel dizzy. I made my way to my cell phone where I called a friend; she came right over and drove me to the hospital.

“Where is she??!” Jonghyun screamed as he approached #FriendsName. She looked at him in surprised as he took her by the shoulders. Jonghyun was in a black and white tux from the party he was at. As soon as #FriendsName called Jonghyun and told him your situation, he rushed out of the party and came straight here.

“She’s in there,” pointing to the room she stood next too. Right at the moment, the same Doctor from before walked out and closed the door. Jonghyun thanked my friend for her help as she announced she was leaving.

“Doctor, is everything alright?” Jonghyun asked desperately as he clutched the man’s arm tightly with both hands. The Doctor looked at Jonghyun’s scared face, took in a deep breath, before opening his mouth

“Are you her relative?” He asked.

“I’m her fiancé” Jonghyun quickly answered. His breath short from the panic and rush he was in

“Sigh, it’s back. cancer. It seems that it’s more critical now than before… We’re going to need to keep her here. You may enter and see her if you like” The Doctor explained and gestured to the closed door. Jonghyun bowed as the Doctor took his leave. Jonghyun inhaled, and exhaled before opening the door slowly.

It opened with a small creek, causing me to look up.

“Jonghyun….” I sat up in shock at the sight of him. He gave a slight wave with one hand, and closed the door softly with the other. “W-What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be at the party?!” I stuttered

“#FriendsName texted me what happened. _________, are you okay?” He asked, worry in his eyes as he took off his black jacket and sat in the chair next to my bed. His hand came to my hair and it, his thumb occasionally brushing my cheek. I could his eyes all glassy, his expression depressed.

I smiled, “I’m okay Jonghyun. I’m fine” I replied happily, brushing my hand against his cheek. I pulled his face towards mine and kissed him softly. As our lips separated, Jonghyun pulled me in again, deepening the kiss…

I couldn’t let Jonghyun worry about me… His sad eyes, careful tone, and cautioned movements killed me. I wanted to get better. I didn’t want to see him like this; I didn’t want him to see ME like this. I had to fight.

And I did. Every day I got weaker, but I fought it. I showed everyone that I was okay and that there was nothing to worry about. The things you do for someone you love, just the thought of being able to see them happy can fuel you to do the impossible. That was my fuel. To be able to go out on dates again with Jonghyun, instead of being at the hospital was something I dreamt for. To see him singing on stage where he shined the best. SHINee was surely a right name for him to be in. But this cancer was restless… The harder I pushed, the harder it pushed back. It was a battle that was ending soon, but I wasn’t going to give in without a fight…

2 months later-

Jonghyun-

The Cancer was killing her. I could see it in her body; her skin going pale, her eyes tired. She always greeted me with a big smile when I came to visit her. She made it seem like she was okay, but I could tell she was struggling… I-I just couldn’t stand to see her like this…

“___________?” I said out loud as I opened the door to her room. There she laid in her bed, her eyes closed. I walked closer where she finally opened her eyes to see me. She gave me a small smile, tired. I showed her the flowers I got her before I placed them in a vase next to her bed. “How are you feeling?” I asked

“Alright…. Just…. Tired….” She sighed. Her voice was weak and soft. We didn’t make a sound, the room being filled with a slow beep from the monitor that was telling us her heart beat. A tear slipped my eye as I looked at ________. “Baby, why are you crying?” _________ asked as she lifted her hand to wipe the tear away

“Ha, I’m just so happy. I love you ________. I’ll always love you… ever since I met you that one day at SM.” I took her hands in mine, squeezing them. They were cold at my touch, freezing. I took in a deep breath, “_______.... I want you to know that you’ve been with me through thick and thin. We had our challenges and we overcame all of them.” I took one of my hands away and her cheek; another tear. She looked back at me with glassy eyes, “_______..... I know you’re tired… We’ve been through so much, I’ll never forget us. So, I just want you to know… It’s okay to let go…. I’ll be fine,” I choked the words out of my mouth. I smiled down at her, my mouth shaking.

__________’s corner of lifted up slightly to a small smile. I bent down and kissed her forehead, breathing in her scent. Her eye’s closed, and I could feel her taking in a breath for the last time.. “I love you _______...” I whispered.

Beep…… Beep….. Beep…..

“_________^__________^__________^v_______________________________________”

Now & Forever – Present

“SHINEE, SHINEE, SHINEE, SHINEE!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!” Fans screamed out loud as SHINee came onto Stage

It’s been 2 years since _______ left me. Every day I think of her; it’s like she never left me. Everything reminds me of her, and every time we perform, I’m singing for her. I will never forget ________.

“This song is for someone really special to me,” I said into my mic, “You’ll always have that one person that you love… and no matter what happens, your love for them will never end. That’s how I feel for this person. She fought for me until the very end…. But sometimes, you have to let go of the ones you love”

You-

I love you Jonghyun….

__________________________________________________