Note: Maybe tissue could help you for this chapter :)

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May 29…

If she was the old Yuri, she wouldn’t have been out here at night scavenging at every store for the perfect gift. She would have just went to the jewelry store, pick the priciest gift of them all and give it to the one she loves most.

That was the old Yuri’s way of expressing her love…

But this is the new Yuri now… She wished she could create it herself, it’s in her head but her hands doesn’t seem to be as advanced as her thinking, ending up with a bundle of mess instead of the perfect gift. She already threw out that miserable attempt of a gift and is now searching every store for the right one.

Until something in the store window have caught her attention, she didn’t knew what drew her to it, it just somehow did… That gift cost more than Yuri would have hoped for.

If she was the old Yuri, she would have went to La Madeleine, the expensive pastry shop and ordered for a Black forest cake for Yoona. But all Yuri could do is sigh in disappointment, Her budget can’t even get her to buy Yoona one, that she ended up with just a cupcake version of the black forest cake and a lone balloon.

*

Yuri walks back home, since she never rides public transportation unless Yoona is there.

“HAP- Oh, you got a cake” The sound of disappointment was the only thing that Yuri could hear in her voice.

Not just a cake, a beautiful chocolate cake intricately detailed.

“Yup… Taeyeon unnie surprised me with one. They had like a surprise birthday party for me at the café. Come here and taste it.”

Yuri steps closer and Yoona brought a forkful of cake to Yuri’s mouth.

“Is it good?”

“Pretty good…”

“What you got there?” Yoona asks as she spots the box that Yuri is holding.

“Oh ummm… this?” Yuri didn’t know if she should even bother handing Yoona the cupcake. “It’s a black forest cupcake. It’s like the best thing in the world. Well, second best thing next to your cheesecake…”

“Come here…” Yoona pulls Yuri to sit on her lap. “You’re cheesy but I love you…” Yoona swooped in for a kiss but Yuri pulls away.

“Keke… Wait… ummm…”

Yoona pouts when Yuri got up from her lap and Yuri excitedly went to the kitchen to grab a lighter.

“Happy birthday…”

The doe eyed girl simply gush at Yuri's sweet gesture.

“You’re going to sing for me…”

“Ummm…” Yuri wasn’t sure about that, oh no wait she is… She doesn’t sing.

“C’mon please… pretty please…” Yoona bats her lashes to charm Yuri over.

Yuri didn’t even started singing and she’s blushing already… “I don’t sing.”

“For me, Yul… please baby…”

“Ok…” Yuri said defenseless against Yoona’s cuteness.

Yuri clears before singing to Yoona. The whole entire time, Yoona has a sweet grin playing in her lips as she listens to Yuri's voice. She couldn’t understand why Yuri was so hesitant when she got such a sweet, lovely voice.

“I love you, Yoona…” Yuri caps of the song coupled with a few kisses “Blow your candle and make a wish.”

Yoona smiles at Yuri before the birthday girl puffing her cheeks to blows her candle animatedly.

“I have a wish…”

“Well… don’t say it… it may not come true…”

“But how could it come true, if you don’t know about it?”

Yoona didn’t need to say her wish, because the moment she pulls Yuri to bed with her, Yuri have already granted it.

And Yuri couldn’t help but smile as Yoona moan at their every touch. The Old Yuri might have everything, but she wouldn’t trade places with her ever again. Because the Old Yuri doesn’t have Yoona and right now and probably until forever, that’s the only thing that matters to Yuri… having Yoona…

*

No matter how exhausted and how she ached in different places, Yuri couldn’t help but smile the moment she woke up. Her smile spreads wider at the sound of Yoona humming to a KPOP song in the shower.

She stayed awake listening to Yoona until she hears the showered stop…

"I need a ti-"

“Happy Birthday…” Yuri greets the girl.

“Thanks…” Yoona’s smile was something Yuri could stare at forever. And until now, Yuri couldn’t help but wonder how could someone who looks as innocent as her, could turned out to be so aggressive. Yuri just stared at Yoona dressing up for work, and she wondered again, why was it as much of a turn on watching Yoona dress up as it is taking her clothes off?

“Don’t make any plans tonight…”

Yoona’s words woke Yuri’s wild daydream.

“Oh…” Yuri’s smile was tiptoeing between the invisible line of mischievous and lust. “Why? What are you planning birthday girl?”

Yoona gives Yuri a warning look.

“No, you byun!” Yoona couldn’t help but blush “You’re going to take me out on a date on my birthday."

“Where would you want to go?”

“Well, we talk about that Korean restaurant before so I think we're going there...”

“Sounds good.”

“Good…” Yoona walks towards the bed and gives Yuri a kiss on the lips. “I have to go, I’ll see you later…”

She was about to leave, but the feeling of Yuri's arm wrapped around her waist was making it hard.

“Stay for a little bit…” Yuri whispered huskily, pressing kisses on Yoona’s neck while her hand had slip inside Yoona’s clothes.

“Yul, I have work…” Yoona tried to convince Yuri, but even she can’t convince herself as her hands have already found their way on Yuri’s body.

“Just for a little bit I promise.”

And promises were made to be broken as little bit turned into something much longer. That Yoona just picked up her phone and called in… They’ll understand, it’s her birthday anyway.

*

When at work Yuri tries to focus at nothing but her work, that's why it irritated her to feel someone poking her in the back. She rips the earphones off and glares at her co worker for the interruption.

“Hey… he wants you…”

Her co worker points to the door,  at their balding boss tapping his foot impatienty for her.

“Someone is here to see you…”

*

Yuri wondered why someone as well dressed as this man would end up eating in a dingy Chinese restaurant like this.

“Kwon Yuri…”

It didn’t take more than a minute for Yuri to recognize the man standing in front of her.

“Nice to finally meet you. I have been keeping an eye on you…” He wags his finger playfully at her.

“You’re-”

But the man cuts her off and introduces himself. “Yes… Yoo ah In…”

“Sir…”

Yuri bows down, the man is a baseball legend in South Korea before making a name for himself to the American league.

“I didn’t know you work?” The man snickers as his eyes wandered around the cheaply decorated excuse of a Chinese restaurant “I thought the Kwons were loaded…”

“My father is… but not me…”

“Well… no need to worry about that…” He claps his hand and flashes a mischievous grin “How about bringing me your bestseller here?”

“Ummm… ok…”

The food was left untouched the entire time, the only focus that the legendary baseball player has was on Yuri.

“I saw you play usually when I watch women playing baseball. I just watch it for the amusement factor but when I saw you play Yuri, I wasn’t amused… I was at awe…” The man leans forward “You didn’t even bat yet but you have that whole field under your will and the moment you made that ball flew through the bleachers. A talent like you is a rare find.”

Yuri wished she could express it in a more profound manner with the way this man is praising her, but there is only one word to say it.

“Thanks…”

“The American league wants to expand its product. We want to make baseball a global phenomenon. That’s why there are scouts in every corner of the world searching for that player who can bring the game to a new level. And I think you have what it takes…”

Yoo Ah In sets in for the kill as he sees the dark haired beauty in deep thought.

“But I’m going to set things straight… It’s not going to be easy, you are going to compete against the best female baseball players in the world.”

Yuri was not even worried about that, the only thought that came to her mind is could she ever leave Yoona?

“Ummm… how long will this last?”

“Well… getting scouted is the easy part… tryouts will take 6 weeks… but that doesn’t mean you make it through, that you get offered to play. You have to be drafted. When you’re drafted then… that’s when the hard part comes in.”

“6 weeks? Tryouts will be in America?”

“Of course… The league is separated into two Eastern and Western. I’m representing for the Western, so the tryouts will be held in California.”

“Look… I’ll think about it.”

“You should. Don’t let an opportunity like this go, Yuri. Well, here is my card.”

Yoo ah In hands her the card but before she could take it, he pulls away.

“That is how quick this opportunity could go if you don’t take it. You don’t want to spend the rest of your life thinking of the what ifs.”

The man’s word didn’t intimidate Yuri a wee bit, instead she snatches the card from him.

“I said I’ll think about it…”

*

Yuri’s mind wandered off to her conversation with Yoo Ah In but the moment Yoona twine their fingers together. Everything else just flew away…

And they don’t have to announce it to everyone, there couldn’t been a more obvious fact than the two being madly in love.

Yoona and Yuri’s hands were playing underneath the table when they were interrupted by their waiter.

“Here’s your check.”

Yuri went out to get it but Yoona swiped it first.

“Hey… it’s your birthday…” Yuri pouts…

“I know… taking you out on a date is the best birthday gift ever.” Yoona said as she hands out her credit card.

Yuri could only feel one thing. How undeserving she is to be treated like this… But all Yoona could think was how wonderful it was, to finally spend her birthday with the one she loves the most.

*

“Yul?”

Yuri turns her attention from the ceiling to Yoona who was swarmed by books and school notes in their desk.

“Is the light bothering you? That’s why you can’t sleep…”

“No…” Yuri smiles wearily. “I like having the light on, I get to see your face better.”

“Keke… you’re so cheesy…”

Yuri’s grin faded when the thought of not seeing Yoona took a grip of her reality.

“Come to bed”

“Hmmm?”

“You’re studying too hard… come here and sleep…”

“Well I need to, I want to give us a bright future.”

Yuri clenches her teeth at the thought, what did she ever do to bring that dream together for them?

“I’m going to sleep… good night, Yoong…”

Seeing that Yuri turned away from her to face the wall this time, Yoona feared that she offended Yuri. Yuri feels the bed dipped as Yoona climbed in, pressing her body to Yuri’s back… Yuri turns to face Yoona.

“I thought you have to study?”

“I do but I’ll do it the morning...” Yoona stretches those long limbs while yawning, before playfully wrapping her arms around Yuri’s. “Thank you…”

“What for?”

“For spending my birthday with me.”

Yuri kisses Yoona’s lips “There is no other place where I want to be.”

“Night…”

“Good night…”

One good night kiss.

“I love you.”

Yoona blushed at Yuri’s good night…

“I love you too…”

Two good night kisses.

Yuri slept a few good hours before she woke up when she felt Yoona’s hand slipping away from her. She felt Yoona climbing out of bed and Yuri waited… Maybe Yoona just needed to go to the bathroom, but instead Yoona went back to the desk to study.

And for Yuri the decision couldn’t be any more obvious.

“Yul?”

Yoona watched as Yuri walks hurriedly to the bathroom.

*

And Yuri turns the shower on, trying to drown the sound of her crying with the running water.

*


Yuri was walking ahead lost in her thoughts as Sooyoung and Hyoyeon trails behind her.

“Whoah man… if I were you I’d take it… You could be the next Jeremy lin in baseball…”

“Jeremy Lin is a basketball player…” Hyoyeon happily corrected Sooyoung.

“Well. What I’m trying to say you’re going to be the Asian that promote this American game to Asia…”

“Japanese people are fans too…”

“What the heck Hyo?!”

“Keke… Sorry…” Hyoyeon apologizes amusingly, not minding sooyoung’s bruised ego at all.

But the two stop when they just saw Yuri just trudging lifelessly along.

“Hey it will be okay…”

“I don’t think I could take being apart from Yoona…”

“Then, don’t do it…” Sooyoung says… “If all you’re going to focus about when you’re there is that you want to be Yoona. Then, stay… don’t make it hard enough as it is for the both of you.”

“But this is my chance! I want to give Yoona the life that I always wished we could have.”

“You know what dude….” Hyo pats Yuri on the shoulder “You decide what you think is best. Don’t let what I say or what Soo say influence it. Do what you can would be best for you and Yoona..”

The three girls walk silently when Sooyoung finally spoke up.

“Well… moving on… dude… you heard about your cousin?”

“Jessica?” Yuri haven’t heard or didn’t really cared about her after their heated argument about Yoona.

“I heard that Taec’s new girl found out about her and him…”

“Wait…” Now Yuri was confused promiscuous as Jessica is, she knew her cousin wouldn’t fall for a d0uche like Taec. “She and Taec?”

“Yeah… she and Taec, I heard the slept around a bit while Taec has a girl and now that this girl found out. She’s like out to destroy Jessica.”

“Destroy Jessica?” Yuri sneered “That’s a long shot but I praise her for trying.”

“Aren't you worried?”

“For Jessica? I don’t know… Jessica seem like she could handle anything.”

That maybe true. But people seem to forget that Jessica Jung is as human as they come.

*

Jessica walks in the hall, before no one could dare look her in the eye or even raise their head when she walks by but this time, she could hear hushed whispers and sneers like bullets trying to shot her down.

She stops when she found out the reason for all of it… There on her locker, marked in black spray paint written for everyone to see…

Jessica Jung s!ut…

Jessica couldn’t help but snicker.

“I guess this is your karma, Jess” She told herself…

But instead of reacting right there, Jessica just walks towards her locker and opens her key.

“Karma sure is a b!tch”

To the whole campus, she just look like the strongest but she had a little secret that she dared wouldn’t let anyone know and that is…

Jessica Jung could fall apart too…

“Jessi?”

“Tiffany?”

Jessica tries to look away from Tiffany’s worried eyes, scared that Tiffany would see her crumbling.

“Don’t let that get to you.” Tiffany says encouragingly. “Some people aren’t just mature enough to handle situations…”

“Yes… that’s why I don’t… Is that all you wanted to say.”

Tiffany wonders why she even cared to make Jessica better, when the girl is obviously unaffected.

“Yes.”

Jessica walks away and people might see her as cold hearted but all Jessica wanted to do is walk away before she crumbles into pieces.

*

For two weeks, Yuri have been occupied with paperworks to finalize her trip to the States. She was signing on the last pages before handing it out to Yoo Ah in.

“Well, that does it.” Yoo Ah in’s pen click as he puts it back on his pocket. “Trust me, I have been there, and it’s not going to get any easier… But you just have to shut out everything while you’re out there in the field. So, tell me Yuri, do you have somebody special?”

“I don’t see how that is your business.”

“Well, it kinda is… Cause you know people think it’s their skills or their hard work that’s pulling them away from their dream but it’s not. It’s having someone and especially on your situation, if you have somebody, leaving them is the hardest part of all of this.”

Yuri looks down at the truth of it all.

“And I have been there too…” Yuri for once heard the man’s voice without a glint of mischief or arrogance, it was as if he was aching and had been aching. “Distance would only make you or break you but if that person insists on staying despite all of this then they truly love you…” He tries to mask all his frustrations with a laugh. “But who believes in that, right?”

Yuri then notices his attention getting drawn at whoever walks in the restaurant. Yuri felt sorry to whoever this girl is, as the man is just undressing her with his eyes… Yuri turns around curiously to see what kind of girl this player might be interested.

And if Yuri had something sharp, she would have stabs his eyes out.

“Stop that…” Yuri snarls at him.

“Wae?” The guy asks confusedly…

“Yul?”

Yoona sees them together and happily walks over.

“Hey… I’m Yoo Ah In…”

“Oh ummm hi…” Yoona didn’t mind the man eyeing her lustfully and turns back to Yuri.

“What you doing here?”

“Oh… they cancel me today since we don’t have any patients so I was like thinking maybe we should go somewhere before going home together.”

“Awww… Yuri… you didn’t tell me you have such a cute dongsaeng…” Yoo Ah in gushes over Yoona and Yoona have to clench on Yuri’s arm, knowing Yuri could smack the guy if he talks more.

“She isn’t my dongsaeng, she’s my lover.”

“Oh…” The man smiles amusingly “So, that’s why you never seem to be interested in me, huh Yul?”

“Who is he, Yul?”

“Oh wait… you didn’t tell her?”

“Ummm… not yet…”

“Well… that’s my cue to go…”

He packed up his stuff…

“I’ll see you in a week, Yul and nice to meet you Yoona…”

He might have walked away but his words have left a bitter taste that Yuri have to face.

*

“What was that all about?”

Yoona asks as they got back to their apartment.

“Well… He’s a baseball scout for the American League”

Yoona remained quiet waiting for Yuri to continue but Yuri seems to be busy, or trying to look busy to avoid talking to Yoona. Until Yoona holds on to her arm.

“Don’t make me feel like a fool, Yuri… what is it about?”

“He asked me to tryouts in America.”

Yoona knew that she should be proud of Yuri, but how come those words felt like someone squeezing the life out of her?

“And what did you say?”

Yuri wished she didn’t have to say it now. “Ahhh… I said yes”

“Yes? B-but… but why didn’t you tell me about it?”

“Because I needed to make this decision on my own for us Yoona…”

“How long would it be?”

“Ummm 6 weeks to two years…”

“Two years? But that’s too long…” Yoona’s voice was starting to waver. “How could you say this is for us when you make the decision on your own?”

“BECAUSE IF I TOLD YOU I DON’T THINK I WILL TAKE IT!!!” Yuri grimaces when she sees Yoona taking a step back.

“Then, why are you doing this? If it’s so hard for you?”

“Look Yoona, I don’t know if you ever figured it out but I’m nothing without money.”

And Yoona starts crumbling, here she was foolishly thinking that she and Yuri were happy, but now she have to find out, it was just her, that she never made Yuri happy.

“Baseball is the only thing I’m good at… Do you want me to be stuck working for a fukced up place for the rest of my life? Is that what you want?!”

“N-no…”

“Yoona I have to do this…This is the only way I know where I could give you a good life, Yoona… I want us to move to a better place and…”

“Look, Yuri if that’s your only reason then just stay…”

Yoona wraps her arms around Yuri and presses her forehead against Yuri, holding her and pleading…

“I’m starting to earn a bit more now… Just a few more months Yuri and our lease for this apartment ends and we can move to a better apartment.”

And Yoona’s heart broke when Yuri pulls away. But Yuri only did it because she was afraid holding Yoona longer could just change her mind.

“You don’t understand Yoona!!! I’m not just doing this so we could move to a better place. I want to do this because I want to be able to give you anything that you want!!!”

“I DON’T WANT ANYTHING I ONLY WANT YOU!!!!” Yoona crumbles down in front of Yuri. “I only want you, Yuri…”

“Damn it Yoona, don’t make it much harder than it is… I don’t want this kind of life for us! I don’t want you forcing yourself to stay awake to study because you are too tired from work, where we have to worry if we have enough for food, when every letter we have we had to hold our breath, wondering if the water company or the light is going to cut us off! I don’t want that!!! I want a good life for you, for us…”

“When I said us Yuri, I meant we do it together not with you million miles away… Yul, I would rather work 24 hours knowing I’m coming home to you rather than live like a princess and not have you beside me.”

And as tears continue to fell and hearts continue to break, it was obvious that this was a fight that nobody could win.

“How could it be so easy for you to leave, when I couldn’t even fall asleep without you beside me?”

Yoona had enough looking like the weaker one in front of Yuri, picking up her jacket and shoving Yuri out the way as she make herself out of their room.

And as Yoona’s word replays in Yuri’s head, she knew that she was the one who lost…

*

“Seo?”

“Seohyun rubs her eyes sleepily and sees Yuri shaking in tears in front of her.

“Unnie?”

“Is Yoona with you? Can I talk to her?”

Yuri desperately tries to step inside Seohyun’s house, wondering if she could see Yoona.

“She’s not here unnie…”

Yuri was losing all her chance of finding Yoona…

“But where could she be?”

Yuri’s worries have quickly quadrupled into fear…

“Unnie… don’t worry… sometimes Yoona just needs a time to think.” Seohyun tries to be reassuring but Yuri wasn’t convinced as she pulls away.

“I need to be here for her! I need to be with her! Where is she?”

Seohyun sighs knowing that the only way to make Yuri feel better was to tell Yuri where Yoona might be.

“There is a place where she goes to since she was a kid…”

*

Yuri could feel her heart sank as she walks back to the back forest of her home. And there curled up underneath the same tree was Yoona…

“Yoong?”

“Yul?”

And Yoona was trying to learn how it is to live without Yuri by not holding back. But her heart, her mind and all that she is was fighting against her, holding Yuri back as she embraces her.

Yuri presses her forehead against Yoona’s…

“You remember this place, Yul?”

“I do… how could I forget?”

“You know I always come back here when we were kids, I was thinking that maybe if we meet again. We could be friends.” Yoona confesses “But you never came back yet I still keep coming back. Whenever I feel sad or just had a bad day, I come here, thinking that maybe Yuri would come save me again just like she did. You never came back but it doesn’t matter anymore…” Yoona smiles through her tears “Because you are here now…” Yoona crumbles in Yuri’s embrace “How am I going to go on now?”

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”

“I know our life feel so miserable and I’m sorry for being selfish but I’m happy…” Yoona says softly… “Nobody I talk to is ever happy anymore, they worry so much about bills, about school, about life. I worry about those things too but because I’m with you those things don’t matter. Being with you makes me happy and I thought I made you happy too…”

Yoona cries in Yuri’s shoulder.

“Then you told me that you’re leaving and the only thing I could feel is that I’m not enough…”

“No… no… Yoong no… I love you… I love you so much… but I…I love you and I…”

“Yuri if this is what makes you happy, then, do it…”

Yoona forces a smile, pretending to Yuri that she’s going to be okay when they both know they’ll be hurting.

“I’m proud of you… always been and I’ll always will be. And I want you to be happy…”

Even if it kills me, I just want you to be happy…

*

For Yuri’s last week, Yuri have been busy packing her clothes while Yoona has her back against her, studying or trying to study.

“Yoona?”

“Mmmm?”

“You want to go somewhere tonight?”

“I’m sorry I have a test tomorrow…”

“But I’m…” Yuri exhales what’s left of her breath “Oh okay…”

*

Yuri have been trying desperately to make things okay with them before she leaves. She invites Yoona out almost every night but all Yoona could answer is are excuses on why she can’t.

At first, disappointing as it was, Yuri could bear it, promising to try again tomorrow but tomorrow have come and gone and Yoona still refuse…

It was her last night and she begged to whoever was listening to let Yoona say yes but her prayers were never really the ones that were chosen to be answered.

And the only thing that Yuri could do now was continue packing, she starts putting her clothes in her bag when suddenly she stopped. She just did. She has no strength to hold it in and as she grips the shirt that should be in her bag, her tears starts drenching her clothes. She quickly wipes it away, trying to silence her cries by biting on her lower lip. But the harder she tries to resist, the harder her tears pout out…

Yuri heard Yoona flipping through the pages, unaware of how much hurt the girl had put her through. But Yuri doesn’t know how the pages of Yoona’s notes are soaking Yoona’s tears.

The two thought they’re going to be no gaps between them but instead the two tries to fall asleep apart. Both wanted to hold each other, yet it scared them that if they hold each other again that they wouldn’t let go.

And for their last night, It was the same thing. The two who couldn’t fall asleep when they’re apart are almost a world apart.

“Be mine Yoona…”

Yoona opens her eyes and there was Yuri trapping her in their embrace. Yuri grips the sheets tighter in her grasp, desperate to hold Yoona again…

“Just for one more time, please be mine…”

Yuri pleads, leaning closer to taste Yoona’s lips one more time. And as beautiful Yuri’s lips felt on hers, the only thing that Yoona could feel was Yuri’s tears mixing with her own. Yoona wrap her arms around Yuri’s shoulder pulling the girl closer.

Yoona’s lips parted open, letting Yuri to taste her. And Yuri have never kissed Yoona like this before, it was gentle and sweet. And Yoona groans as Yuri pulls away, but Yuri was not done with her, and she don’t think she ever will. Yoona could only sputter a satisfying sigh as Yuri’s kisses drift down further and further until…

Yoona’s sigh turned into a gasp.

It was during the earlier parts of their relationship, Yoona was quite uncomfortable with the idea the first time that Yuri tried to do it. But during those times Yoona wanted Yuri to know that she is willing to do anything with Yuri, even pushed the boundaries with her. And during that time, Yuri could feel Yoona moving around hesitantly everytime Yuri’s tongue starts to wander. But that didn’t let Yuri on, instead she took Yoona slowly, tasting her, nibbling her until she felt Yoona finally letting go. And Yuri smiles when Yoona’s fingers have drifted into her hair, pushing her head closer to take more of her.

And it makes no difference now, Yoona’s fingers drifted from biting it, to clutching the sheets until it ends up tangled in Yuri’s hair, selfishly pushing herself more at Yuri so Yuri could have all of her.

Yuri was still the one who have mastered everything about Yoona. The only one who could make Yoona tremble, the one who’s name Yoona would scream, and the only one that Yoona would allow to touch her now until their end…

They might be oceans apart but nothing will ever change, for Yoona it will always be Yuri… just Yuri…

*

“Yul?”

“Mmmm?” Yuri moans through their kisses until Yoona tilts Yuri’s face so they could look at each other. And the silence of Yoona’s tears stab Yuri’s heart worse than any words could say.

“When you leave tomorrow, Yul just go…”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t say goodbye to me, or wake me up to hug me goodbye… just leave…”

This time it was Yuri’s tears that started falling, how could her heart not ache when she felt that Yoona was already pushing her away?

“Why?” Yuri choked out between her tears.

And at Yoona’s words, Yuri’s heart will ache forever…

“Because I don’t think I could ever let go…”

*

Yuri didn’t know if she could ever fall asleep, even if she knows that she should. She laid awake just staring at Yoona asleep in her arms.

Yuri smiles as she watch the other girl sleep. She press kisses on Yoona’s bare shoulder, twirled the girl’s hair around her finger until reality calls her back.

She carefully steps out of bed, took a quick shower and quickly went back, fearing Yoona might disappear. But the girl was still in their bed, sleeping peacefully.

Yuri almost broke their promise and hugged Yoona but she stops just inches away from Yoona and fell on her knees by Yoona’s bedside. She let her hand muffle her cries as she just started crying…

How she would have wanted to hold Yoona for the last time, to tell her she loves her and maybe hear Yoona telling her she loves her back.

Yuri stands up in shaking knees and touches Yoona’s hair lightly, pressing a soft kiss on the girl’s temple and uttering a promise that she’ll keep forever.

“I love you”

What Yuri didn’t know is that Yoona didn’t fall asleep that night either. And the moment Yoona heard the door close behind Yuri’s. Yoona finally opens her eyes and now that Yuri finally left, there was nothing left for Yoona to do but cry…

*

Time and time again, Yuri finds herself looking back, maybe Yoona would say goodbye to her? Or maybe it’s just her heart craving for Yoona one last time?

“Hey…”

Yuri looks back at the two goofballs trying to stop their tears as they drop her off at the airport.

“Don’t forget my chocolates…”

Sooyoung and her food always comes first.

“I won’t…”

“Don’t forget my chocolate men…”

“Shut up Hyo…”

“What?!”

Yuri wraps her arms around the two and didn’t even realized how her tears started falling mercilessly again.

“Don’t worry… We’ll take care of her…”

Yuri looks back at her two friends who finally let their tears drop.

“Thanks…”

“But don’t expect her to be with you when you come back, I could be quite a charmer…”

“Shut up Hyo…”

“I’ll come back and kill you myself…” Yuri said it in a joking manner but both girls know she wasn’t joking at all.

“Goodbye for now, buddy…”

Yuri clutches on her bag tighter and willed herself to take a step, but here she was still paralyzed on her state. She took a step, one, two and finally she started walking and she couldn’t figure out why walking have been such a hard thing to do. But before she could walk any further, she felt someone’s hand holding on tightly with hers.

Just when Yuri felt that she run out of tears, the sight of Yoona crying holding on to her made her break down once again. And this was a step that Yuri could take, a step to closing the gap between her and Yoona.

“I…” Yuri wished she could say those three words but all could utter was endless sobs as here she is, crying helplessly in Yoona’s embrace.

She refuses to let go, she refused to but she had to. And there was a big difference between had and want. Wants are craving you can live without, Had is a decision that will constantly chase after you…

And Yoona could have just waited at home, maybe cry herself for a few days before moving back to reality. She should have just waited patiently for Yuri to call her from the States. But here she is, breaking her heart worse than it already is, forcing a smile through their broken hearts and forcing to move on as she would watch Yuri walk away…

But she was here, she was ready to get hurt because she needed Yuri to hear one thing, her promise that she would keep forever.

“I love you…”

And Yuri’s eyes gleamed through the tears after hearing Yoona’s words, she lays her lips on Yoona again, tasting every word that Yoona have just said.

“I love you too… I love you so much…”

Yoona nods trying to stop herself from crying by fixing the collar of Yuri’s jacket.

“I’ll be waiting for you…”

Yuri presses their lips again, until she could see that she had a few minutes left before she could leave.

“I… I have to go…”

Yoona nods and kisses her once again before taking a step back.

“Goodbye…”

Yuri pulls yoona’s neck so she could bring Yoona closer and kisses her one more time… until she knew that it was time to go.

“Goodbye…”

Yoona took another step back, but it doesn’t hurt as much as seeing Yuri walking away further and further… And Yuri have willed herself not to look back and she was doing quite well until she was a few feet away from the check in.

And she realized that she couldn’t do it, she couldn’t live a life without Yoona. She quickly turns around to go back to Yoona’s arms and her heart started aching and her tears have took over again. Though the airport was filled with people, her eyes quickly search for Yoona, for her girl. There was no sign of her, And Yuri finally exhales shakingly, handing with her trembling hands her boarding pass to the officer as she finally takes a step in.

There was no turning back now, this was for them, this was for her Yoona.

And Yoona wished that she could run back to Yuri’s arms when she sees Yuri frantically searching for her. But instead she continued to cry silently in that corner, making sure that Yuri couldn’t see her as she conveniently hide behind the corner. And when she was sure that Yuri was finally gone, she made her way home.

And as hard as it was and as hard as it would always be, there was no turning back now, this was for them, this was for her Yuri.