As much as Yuri would have wish to silent the buzzing noise of her cellphone, her pride and a good amount of alcohol is stopping her from picking up the phone.

“Aren’t you going to answer it?” Sooyoung asks as Yuri’s phone vibrated for the millionth time probably that night.

But Sooyoung might as well be talking to the wall, cause Yuri have shut off any sound around her. Her eyes, mind and everything is fully focus on her screen flashing her girl's name.

Yoona’s name to be more precise…

Yuri doesn’t know if its the alcohol or her poor heart just doing what it can to remind her of everything.

THEN LEAVE!!!!

Do you still love me now?

“HEY YUL!!!! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!”

Sooyoung might as well just scream out to no one as she sees Yuri’s fled out of the bar. The tall girl just ends up scoffing amusingly as she takes another sip of her fruity drink. She knows she has nothing to worry about, since she perfectly knows whose arms Yuri is going to fall back to.

*

Flashback

Yoona couldn’t help but clutch tightly to her 20 dollar bill everytime her grocery pass through the scanner. It almost felt like she was being robbed, like the cashier was the thief and the scanner was some sort of weapon.

Broccoli 3.37 dollars
3 pounds of Ma 3.02 dollars
Two ice cream bars 3 dollars
Shampoo 4.35
Toothpaste 1.25
Loaf of bread 2.15 dollars
Eggs 2.85 dollars
Milk 2.00

Total…

21.99

Yoona clenches her teeth in frustration while she fishes in her purse and her pocket. She could hear the cashier tapping her foot impatiently, sighing as if she has better things to do and Yoona got on her way. It wasn’t only the cashier who was getting restless, the people behind Yoona was mumbling much louder but Yoona just shuts them out.

She sighs in relief when she saw a few loose change… A dime (10 cents), some pennies around 7 cents and a quarter (25 cents)

Yoona wasn’t the kind to curse, but nowadays with all that has been happening to her, there was no better word to describe it.

“Crap…”

She looks apologetically to the cashier but the woman doesn’t seem too forgiving. Yoona looks at her groceries, All of these are on Yuri’s grocery list, which one would the girl notice least?

“I’m sorry, but could you just take one of the ice creams out?”

*

Yoona have seen Yuri less clothed than this, but seeing the tanned girl walking around their apartment in just her bra and boxer shorts still has this spellbinding effect on Yoona. Is there home that hot? Or does Yuri have anything to do with it?

“I’m hot…” Yuri reasons out, thinking that Yoona is looking at her disapprovingly.

“I could tell… I bought you ice cream to cool you off.”

“ALRIGHT!” Yuri says gleefully before she takes the ice cream bar from Yoona, savoring it as if it’s the greatest thing on Earth “Wait… where’s yours?”

“Oh I already ate it…” Yoona lies…

And Yuri instantly picked up on the lie.

“Well, I know how much you love it so you could share mine…”

“No… I’m okay…”

She was lying again. So, Yuri sticks her ice cream out for Yoona to take a bite off.

“Eat or I’ll be very sad…”

Yoona stares at Yuri wooing her with those sad puppy eyes while her arm is extended out for her. Yoona smiles and takes a small bite not wanting to take more from Yuri.

“Thank you…”

“Eat more…”

Yoona didn’t decline this time and takes another bite.

“Oh good you got the shampoo…”

Yuri tries to hide her disappointment at the generic brand of shampoo that Yoona bought. She had been using saloon brand shampoo since she was a bald baby. How will her hair react to it?

Yoona knew that it wasn’t the shampoo Yuri wanted. But the shampoo she wants cost more than a whole grocery list, Yoona thought it was ridiculous.

“I was waiting for you so I could shower…” Yuri dismissed it.

“Well, I got you the shampoo…”

Yoona answers as she starts arranging their groceries, but the feel of those hand on hers freeze her momentarily.

“Did I say I was waiting for the shampoo? I said I was waiting for you…”

Yoona blushes as she sees the mischievous look brewing in Yuri’s eyes.

“KEKE… byunYoong… I want us to shower together so we could save on our water bill.” Yuri defends herself. But she knows reasoning skills was seriously flawed, when Yoona looks at her like she was a ert, which she admits she is but only when it comes to Yoona..

“Oh really?”

Yuri nods while slowly pulling off Yoona’s scarf off her neck. Their gaze were locked in each other, only breaking away when Yuri pulls off Yoona’s shirt off her head. Yuri smiles as she could feel Yoona sighs dreamily when she starts placing sensual kisses up her neck, while her fingers felt the cold metal of the button, ing it while slowly pulling it off those long legs.

Yoona then wraps her arms around Yuri’s neck. She knew what Yuri wanted, those dark brown eyes never lies. But she played a little bit, making Yuri want her more if that’s even possible. When she sees Yuri surrendering and ready to capture her lips, she pulls away, chuckling as she hears Yuri’s frustrated groan.

“Let’s go shower…”

Yoona usually takes a 15 minute shower while Yuri takes around 20. Showering together took almost two hours and probably a big rise on their water bill. But not like they care, some moments are just worth the extra pay…

*

Their alarm clock was shining a bright red 2:13 am…

Yoona snuggles to the warmth beside her. She sees Yuri wide awake just looking at her. When Yuri realizes that she had been caught, she closes her eyes pretending to be asleep.

“Yul?”

Yuri flutters her eyes open and stares at Yoona.

“Hmmm?”

Yoona forces herself to smile. and somehow smiling which was something so natural, has became too hard on her especially now that the walls of reality starts caving in on them.

“Come here…”

Yoona pulls Yuri on top of her, knowing it was the only place that Yuri could fall asleep since their mattress was too hard than what Yuri was used to. Yuri wraps her arms around Yoona, kissing Yoona on the cheek before snuggling at the crane of her lover's neck.

It didn’t take Yuri more than a minute to fall asleep. Because despite the heat and the hardness of their mattress, still some things are worth sacrificing. And for Yuri, being in Yoona’s arms just seems to make everything worth it.

And now it was Yoona who laid wide awake. How could she fall asleep when her heart keeps on questioning her? How could she be so selfish, letting the one that she loves suffer like this? But as she held Yuri in her embrace, she couldn’t help but question back, could she just be selfish for once?

*

“Long time no see cous…”

Yuri looks away from duffel bag, seeing her cousin taking intimidating steps towards her. Jessica glances and curses herself as she couldn’t help admire Yoona in Yuri’s picture from her locket.

“Shika?” Yuri went back to putting her baseball equipment… “Glad that you still talk to me…” Yuri swings her duffel bag over her shoulder “I thought I was too poor for you now…”

Jessica sneers at the honest comment “True but for you I’ll make an exception.”

Poor or not. Yuri’s smirk can still stun the living, even her own blood relatives that Jessica have to embarrassingly look away.

“You look like crap by the way…” Jessica tries to dismiss it.

Yuri growls under her breath at the insult yet got more offended knowing that Jessica got a point. She hardly been sleeping and she has to cut off her beauty supplies just so she and Yoona could have something to eat.

“Thanks…” Yuri says sarcastically. “Anything I could help you with?” Yuri asks although she highly doubts that.

“Nothing… do I have to set an appointment now to meet with my favorite cousin?”

*

Jessica turned away from Yuri who was wolfing down her food. She did it out of pity… wait… pity… what’s up with her and her heart playing emotional games with her lately?

“Wait… you didn’t finish your food.”

Jessica wonders as she sees one of Yuri’s sandwich perfectly intact. She looks in wonder as she sees Yuri neatly wrapping it in a napkin before leaning over to pick up a flower from the vase and gingerly tucking it in the sandwich.

“I’m saving it for Yoona…” Yuri smile

Jessica should feel disgusted, annoyed and thankful that she’s not a victim of such idiocy but instead she felt something lurch inside her. The feeling of envy starts creeping up on her and unconciously her eyes drifting towards the counter at the honey gold haired girl manning the store.

“I guess that’s one reason to stay with you.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“Let’s admit it, Yul, you’re beautiful but your money is part of your charms.”

Yuri quickly looks down on her wrapped sandwich, trying to avoid looking pathetic than she’s already is in front of Jessica.

“I’m sure Yoona loves you, Yul but how long do you think she’s going to stay?”

“I…I don’t…”

“But before Yuri could stammer her answer, Jessica beats her to it.

“That’s because you’re unsure of it yourself. Yoona probably thought of trips around the world and fancy restaurants and the best things in life when she thought of dating you, but look where you two are now. She probably can’t help but think everyday… what the hell am I still here for?”

Jessica hated seeing her dear cousin in the brink of tears like right now, but she has to do it, she has to win.

“I love her…” Those were the only defense Yuri has against Jessica. “You might not realize how important those words are, Jessica, since you never felt it but I want you to know that what we have is worth staying together for.”

“Well, I don’t doubt that you love her, but the question is, does she love you as much?”

Jessica jumps back as Yuri pounds her fist on the table.

“If you have knowing better to say Jessica, just shut up…”

“Why Yul, can’t face the truth?”

“Even if she doesn’t love me as much as I do, then I’ll make her. I’ll make her believe that we’re worth it.”

“You know Yul, you could just leave…”

“Leave?”

“Leave Yoona, leave this life. I admit Yoona is a beautiful girl, but there are more women more attractive than her, without you needing to give up your life. You can go back Yul, I’m sure uncle won’t have a problem…”

Yuri sits quietly staring out of the glass window…

“I live in hell now, Jessica…”

Jessica sneers “Well, that’s the understatement of the year.”

“And I don’t expect you to understand but someday, when you finally let your guard down and let somebody in, you’ll see what I’m trying to say. It’s like trying to explain what the sun is to someone who lives underground their whole life. It sounds impossible but yet it’s there, you’re just so much of a wuss to risk and find out about it.”

Jessica’s didn’t even have time to let Yuri’s words sink in. Her thoughts were interrupted when the door slams open, and in came Sunny happily skipping along to the counter. Jessica couldn’t help but growl, what adult in their right mind skips? And how come Taeyeon looks like she’s enjoying that attention?

“I’m not going to argue anymore…”

“Don’t…”

And soon, the cousins who used to have so much things to say how now ended up as two complete strangers.

*

“Hi…”

Yoona welcomes Yuri as soon as the dark haired girl walks in. But Yuri didn’t even greet her, instead, she throws the sandwich in front of Yoona and jumps in bed.

“Yul, what’s wrong?”

“I’m tired… that’s all…” And Yuri was, she was exhausted and frustrated with how their lives were turning out. She tries hard not to let it go to her head, but now Jessica’s words were stuck on replay in her mind.

“Oh ok…”

Maybe Yuri just had a bad day and Yoona knew better than to coax Yuri for answers. So, she focus her attention back to the paper in front of her.

“What are you doing?” Yuri asks…

“Oh, I’m doing some job applications…”

“But you already have a job.”

“I know but it’s not enough.”

Yuri just let out a loud scoff and turns away from Yoona.

“What is that about?” Yoona asks more in an interrogating manner

“Sorry, if I can’t give you the high life that you have always wished for, Yoona…” And with the sound of sarcasm in Yuri’s voice, it was obvious that she wasn’t sorry at all.

“What are you trying to say, Yul? That I’m with you for the money?”

“I’m not saying that. Why? is that your real reason?” Yuri finally looks up from her spot. “Cause we know I have nothing now, Yoong… so, you might as well just bounce…”

Sometimes you want to prove to yourself how much the other person loves you, that you push them to the edge, hurt them and make them cry and see if they love you enough to stay. And that is what Yuri was trying to get out of Yoona, she wants to prove Jessica wrong but above all, she wants to prove herself wrong.

Yuri's accusations were enough to cut through Yoona's already fragile emotions. But she knew better than to argue back, all she could do now was wipe off her tears and continue to fill up the applications.

But Yuri wasn’t done with her yet…

“See? You don’t have to do this anymore, Yoong. You don’t have to have two jobs, just leave Yoong… go back to your home…”

“I’M DOING THIS FOR US!!!!!”

Yuri wasn’t used to Yoona’s voice being so loud that she couldn’t help take a step back. Yoona bit her quivering lips, hoping to appear stronger in front of Yuri but it was hopeless. The applications have became useless as Yoona balls them tightly in her fist.

“I know this life is hard for you, Yul, but I’m trying my best here to make it better for us. Tell me Yuri, what more can I do?”

There was almost a pleading tone in Yoona’s voice and Yuri couldn’t help but felt her heart ache.

“Is it you who want to leave?”

Yoona cries her heart out in frustration, yet it’s more out of hurt, it was Yuri who is hurting her now that was causing her tears.

“Look, Yul if you’re using this as an excuse to leave then go. But don’t ever, ever think that I even thought of walking away, when I’m doing the hell I can to make us work.”

Yoona quickly turns back to the paper, trying to calm her outburst by straightening the applications with her palms. But it was no use when the applications was starting to soak Yoona’s tears.

Yuri have so much things that she needed to tell Yoona, but she knew the only word deserving of this moment was an I’m sorry. But Yuri got too much hurt right now that all she did was pick up her jacket and walk away.

And the moment the door slams shut, Yoona cried even more…

End of flasback...

*

“From that hot girl…”

Tiffany quickly regretted her decision to see who the bartender was referring to as she sees Jessica walking towards her.

“Is this your idea of peace offering, Jess? Cause it …”

“No. Its for our toast.” Jessica says calmly, ignoring the homicidal tone in Tiffany’s voice.

“Toast for what? For me not going to jail for almost killing you?” Tiffany snaps

“I don’t know why you’re so hyped up, Tiff… when we both know that you and your plans aren’t going anywhere if I’m not here.”

“There is no plan.”

“Well, there was…” Jessica corrected Tiffany “but after talking with Yuri, it’s time to switch the plans around.”

As usual, Yuri’s name caught Tiffany’s attention.

“How would I know you’re just not using me?”

“Let’s be fair this time, shall we, Tiffany?” Jessica says coldly…

“What do you mean?”

“Ok, so I used you, but c’mon… we both know you used me too…”

“Fine…” Tiffany coarsely admitted.

“Now that Yuri and Yoona are in so much crap right now, we don’t need that d0uchebag Taec to make our plan work, all we need are a few choice words and some good oppurtunities to plant these ideas in their head.”

“What kind of ideas? Tiffany wonders… “Like why the hell are you trying to destroy Yoona? Why don’t you go straight to the source and get rid of Donghae?”

For once Tiffany have never seen Jessica so affected and quickly she regretted it.

“I’m sorry…” Tiffany was quick to apologize.

“Not as sorry as I’am… IT’s not going to be that easy… How about we start all over again?”

Jessica extends her hand out to Tiffany.

“Hi, I’m Jessica…”

Tiffany takes a couple of worried glances at Jessica’s hand, wondering if it would be the right choice to be the devil’s advocate. But the devil inside her has again shut out the good in her, whispering how beautiful and worth it all this would be when Yuri would finally be hers.

“Tiffany…”

And their handshake felt like signing her soul to the devil.

“Well, Tiffany, let’s talk about our new plan over drinks, shall we?”

Jessica smiles triumphantly knowing once again that as long as she doesn’t falter to love like Tiffany and Yuri, that she will forever have control.

*

“Hey…” Sooyoung shoves her bestfriend who have been downing herself with alcohol since they arrived in this joint, two hours ago. “Just talk to Yoona…”

“What will I say?” Yuri says hopelessly…

“I’m sorry would be good…”

“It’s not enough…”

And with all Yuri said, she have to say sorry to Yoona for a lifetime.

“Saying sorry is not what matters, Yul, it’s what you do after saying it.”

Yuri’s phone started ringing.

“See? She’s calling you… go back home.”

“But what if she’s calling me so she could break up? I don’t know what I’ll do, Soo…”

Sooyoung cups her hand on the poor girl’s shoulder, staring straight at those hopeless brown eyes.

“Then, fight for her. Prove to her why it’s worth fighting for.”

Yuri's phone didn't stay silent for too long as it began ringing again.

“Aren’t you going to pick it up?”

And it didn’t take more than a few rings for Yuri to get up on her feet and ran out of the bar. Leaving Sooyoung shaking her head…

“Ahhh… love…”

That was all Sooyoung could say as she picks up her last drink for the night

*

Yoona quickly sits up from the bed when she hears the door open. But before she could sit all the way up, Yuri have already caught her in a deep embrace.

And Yuri never hated herself the way she hates herself right now. How could she even dare think of hurting Yoona? Of doubting what they have, when both of them have suffered tremendously? Yoona needs her right now to be strong, to be the Yuri that Yoona fell for. Not be this needy and vengeful person, hurting the only person who loves her truly just because she was mad at the world.

Yuri embraces Yoona tighter hoping that one embrace could equal a million sorries, but it wasn’t and Yuri would forever be sorry.

But she doesn’t know that Yoona have already forgiven her. Yoona didn’t need to hear the words I’m sorry, because somehow she knew.  She perfectly knew the moment Yuri wrapped her tightly in her arms and when Yuri cried without warning in their embrace. Sometimes not hearing it, makes it more real, words are planned but actions are all out from the heart.

“I’m so…”

“Shhhh…” Yoona hushed Yuri before the girl could apologize. Yoona didn’t need to hear it anymore, she knew… she perfectly knew…

And somehow what happen a few hours ago, didn’t matter anymore, right now in each other’s arms nothing seems to matter.

*

Yuri’s keys jiggled as she unlocks the door, she curse when she sees the door stuck. Oh great, add this to another one of their things to do in the apartment, get a door that actually opens. She bangs their door with her shoulder finally opening it.

“Hi…”

And seeing Yoona smile somehow makes those little irritating details just magically poof away.

“Hi…” Yuri greets Yoona with a kiss on the lips.

“I got a surprise for you…”

And Yuri starts cocking her eyebrows teasingly up and down, before Yoona slaps her shoulder…

“ert…” Yoona scolded the girl before taking Yuri’s hand.

“O-our bed…”

Yuri looks in surprise as their queen size bed have now shrink into a twin size one. Yuri then presses the mattress and now realizes what Yoona was trying to say… Their bed it doesn’t feel like a wooden board, finally it feels like a real mattress.

“Y-you like it?” Yoona asks nervously… "I wanted to get the double size mattress but I…”

I couldn’t afford it… Yoona wanted to say.

“So, ummm… our bed got smaller but at least its more comfortable, right?” Yoona smiles hopefully, Yuri steps closer to her and lays her lips on Yoona’s forehead. And Yuri wonders…

What did I ever do to deserve someone so damn perfect?

Yoona pulls Yuri into bed, both lying sideways just staring at each other, before Yuri close the gap between them. They were chest to chest where their heartbeats are in sync, both of them breathless at each other’s kisses and though their eyes were close, still all they could see is all they needed to see.

And Yuri pulls away breathlessly, whispering softly…

“What did I ever do to deserve someone so damn perfect?"