I will probably fall asleep alone
Even in my dreams, I look for you

-Big Bang, Blue

“UGH! Just kill me already!!!”

Yuri couldn’t agree more as Sooyoung screams out in frustration after a day of baseball practice. Sooyoung and Hyoyeon are sharing ideas on how to torture their baseball coach, when the display outside the flowershop has caught Yuri’s attention.

Her lips curve into a smile as she eyes the lone long stem white rose surrounded by a plethora of various flowers. There are different kinds, different colors yet that one white rose stood out effortlessly, so pure and just simply beautiful.

And Yuri chuckles softly, Yoona wasn’t even near, but the thoughts of her alone were just like medicine taking away every aching muscle and pain in her blistering hands.

“I love you” Yuri whispers softly…

“Wae? Yul? You said something?”

Yuri got back to where she was and sees her two bestfriends staring her with that “she’s at it again” look. To avoid looking like the lovesick fool again (although she admits that she’s a big one) she hurriedly went to the flowershop.

“I’ll catch up with you guys later…” She runs to the flowershop without waiting for a reply.

Sooyoung and Hyoyeon just shrugs then walk away still plotting their revenge on their devil coach.

*

Yuri smiles at the bouquet in her hand, a beautiful display of red roses yet in the middle of it all is the white rose. Thoughts of the girl behind the door were making her smile like a fool again, but Yuri never cares, she was after all, a fool for Yoona.

“Yoongbaby?” Yuri says playfully as she walks inside their home. She turns on the light switch and walks in their apartment.

It was empty…

“Yoona?”

And it was quiet…

“Yoona?!”

Yuri frantically takes her phone out, scrolling down to check if there was a text, call, anything, from Yoona…

And a bizarre feeling instantly grips on her. It didn’t even take more than a minute for Yuri to realize that something was wrong, It’s not Yoona to not tell Yuri where she was going. If Yoona won’t be there then she would have text, if Yoona won’t be there, then Yoona would have waited for her from baseball practice and if Yoona won’t be there, Yuri don’t see the point of being there either.

She didn’t know how her trembling hand manages to call Yoona, but how she wished she didn’t when after a few rings, Yoona dismiss every call.

The bouquet fell out of her hands as her trembling heart has made her entire body shiver.

“Yoona?!”

Yuri should have just walk calmly to their room, but instead she didn’t waste any time, fearing a second lost will cause her to have a heart attack. She sprints into their room, ignore the nagging pain in her knee for almost knocking out their coffee table.

It was too quiet except for the sound of Yuri’s heart beating out of her system.

She turns toward their shared closet and instead of running towards it and yanking it open, she takes a heavy step before slowly opening it. It was almost like a scene from a horror movie, when you know that there is something terrifying inside, yet you’re still an idiot and opens it, despite of what inside might kill you. Yuri slowly opens it and it was just like a scene from a horror movie, cause the bareness of it killed her.

She fell on her knees, her fingers scratching the wooden floor as Yuri tries to hold on to anything as her reality starts tumbling out of control.

There was no sign of Yoona’s clothes, stuffs or belonging or even Yoona in Yuri’s life. But how could that be? When for Yuri the only thing worth existing in her life was Yoona?

“Yoona” Yuri have wanted to scream her name out but the only thing that she could say was not even louder than a whisper. It doesn’t matter anymore, Yoona wasn’t there to hear it anyway…

*

The metrorail station was a place of chaos. Yet amidst of the people bustling, the sound of sliding doors and hurried footsteps, was Yoona. She looks up to see another sliding door closing on her, she should really be inside, so she could get away, yet her heart halted every move, for once her heart took control over her, telling her that stepping inside won’t do nothing but hurt her, or worse… hurt Yuri…

It was surprising, how she hardly cries in front of Yuri yet surrounded by faceless strangers she breaks down to her most desperate and most vulnerable…

*

Flashback

Yoona wished she had the guts to snatch their picture away from Mr. Kwon’s hand. His eyes cold and cruel as he looks at his daughter’s gorgeous smile, and he didn’t even wonder what could make her smile like that. It was obviously because of the beautiful girl smiling beside her in that photo.

“I see you and Yuri have a good thing going on…”

Mr. Kwon’s eyes were still on the picture, his hand unconsciously gripping the frame tighter.

“W-we do…”

“So, what do you want from my daughter, Yoona?”

Mr. Kwon asks so directly and curtly, that it didn’t give Yoona the time to react.

“S-sir?”

“Money?” All he did was look at Yoona and she immediately took a step back. “The luxury?”

“N-no…”

“Then what?” Mr. Kwon’s voice echoes in Yoona’s head “Love?” He snarls as if the word love is an insult…

Yoona looks back down on the ground.

“If it is Yoona…” Mr. Kwon steps closer at the frozen girl, tilting her chin so she could look straight into his eyes. “Then tell me, tell me why you love my daughter.” He commanded her but Yoona remains quiet, every fiber of her frozen. “I always remember you as wanting to be an actress, so what is this Yoona, why can’t you answer? is it because this is all an act?”

Yoona’s eyes widen with fear “N-no… no sir…” She shakes her head vehemently “I love Yuri.”

But Mr. Kwon treated Yoona’s words as if they were nonsense, he sneers at their hopeless emotions.

“Love Yoona? do you know the meaning of that word?”

“Despite of what you’re saying sir, what me and Yuri have is love…”

Mr. Kwon smiles deviously. “Then, prove it.”

“What?”

““I know my daughter more than she thinks I do… The luxury, the power, the money, that is what my daughter is truly made of, Yoona. And in a way she’s just like me, she wants everything. I don’t doubt that she has feelings for you, you are a very beautiful young lady and you probably satisfy her too. But what if all of these are taken away from her? and the only thing she had left is you? You think she’ll stay with you?”

Yoona felt her heart sank at Mr. Kwon’s words. Yuri have proven to her, time and time again that she’ll fight for them, but what happen if those things that Yuri have lived with would be taken away from her? Will she be enough?

“Yuri won’t even know what hit her. When her credits card all close, her bank account frozen and her precious car taken away from her.”

Mr. Kwon tries hard not to chuckle as he made the frail girl just shiver…

“And when Yuri would come to me, demanding why… All I’m going to say is, Yoona says you love her enough to live without it. How do you think my daughter will react, Yoona?”

“H-how could you do this to your own daughter?”

Mr. Kwon just chuckles smugly before responding with a cold hearted grin.

“And how could you do this to the one you love?”

End of flashback

*

Jessica snarls as the sound of someone making odd noises by the foot of her bed. She sits up and rubs her eyes irritatingly… She narrows her eyes trying to make sense of what or more of who she’s staring at.

This child got his father’s eyes, his father’s smile, on other words, this child reminds Jessica everything about the child’s father…

The little boy looks up at her and if his chilling stare wasn’t enough to wake Jessica up, his next word did…

“Mama?”

*

Jessica woke up gasping… her hand patting hysterically at her bedside table to turn on the light… It’s that horrible dream again, no, more of nightmare just haunting her…

She checks her room, looking for a sign that it might be real and she was able to breathe again when it was nothing more but a seed, planted to grow lingering thoughts in Jessica’s mind.

*

Jessica was sipping her second cup of coffee to keep her awake, scrolling down on her long list of contacts to see who could keep her company in this ungodly hours. Yes, there were plenty of names, her good time girls, her eff buddies but none of them she could ever call a friend, except one…

Tiffany

Her thumb debating with her head whether she should press that call button or not. Tiffany did say that they are friends, but what brought them together? The plan to hurt Yoona? And yes, Jessica has to admit that she is just using Tiffany, she has no plans of playing cupid between her cousin and Tiffany. It was just convenient for both her and Tiffany that Yoona was the one that Yuri chose.

And friends, friends don’t use friends… so what gives her the right to even call Tiffany one?

The sound of swishing on the tile floor, startled her and she sees Taeyeon, mopping…

“You’re not closing yet are you?”

Taeyeon looks up from the floor and smiles. “Not until the last customer leave…”

Jessica looks around, realizing she’s the only one keeping Taeyeon from going home.

“Don’t you ever go home? It’s like you’re here for 24 hours…”

Taeyeon’s laugh was amusing in a good way and for a second there, Jessica forgot what she was worrying about.

“I need to work…”

“So, wait you don’t go to school?”

Taeyeon thought it was surprising for Jessica to be interested in other people’s life other than hers.

“Ummm… I… don’t…”

“Why?”

“I’m living my dream as a coffeeshop manager that’s why…”

Taeyeon smile looking at Jessica chuckle, maybe she wasn’t that evil after all.

“That’s some dream…”

“I know…” Taeyeon smiles jokingly… “What’s yours?”

“Hmmm… to sing?”

Jessica didn’t know why she just revealed her secret dream to a random stranger, but now that she thinks of it, everyone in her life are pretty much strangers.

Taeyeon looks around before scratching her head.

“We don’t have a stage or anything, but I can be your audience.”

“You can’t afford my talent fee…”

“How about if I pay you with a cup of coffee?” Taeyeon says jokingly…

And Jessica’s smile stayed on her lips longer, thinking that this was probably the most human she felt after a long time. Humans are vulnerable, pathetic yet nothing beats the feeling of being alive.

*

Yuri’s grip on her steering wheel got tighter, her eyes getting blurry from the tears that just fell profusely… She realizes that driving right now would kill her. She quickly swerves to the corner, stopping to let her heart cry out.

Flashback…

“Hi…”

Yuri could barely give Yoona a kiss on the cheek, since baseball season was about to start soon, practices were harsher and it wasn’t doing any good to Yuri’s time with Yoona. The tired girl collapsed on the couch, staring at Yoona preparing something (probably their dinner) in the kitchen.

“Hey…”

When Yuri heard Yoona’s voice, she quickly tries to open up her eyes only to have them drooping back again.

“Go sleep for a bit, when you wake up, I’ll get your dinner ready.”

“Don’t wanna…”

“And why not? You can barely keep your eyes open.”

“I want to look at you…” Yuri smiles and though she admits that it was cheesy, still she knows that it was true.

Yoona’s chuckle woke Yuri a bit… “You’re so cheesy…”

“Then, I could be the cheese and you could be the mouse.”

“Oh my God…” Yoona’s booming laughter was better than any love song for Yuri. “Yul, your cheesiness is driving me nuts…”

“Then, come here and shut me up…”

Yuri smiles watching Yoona walking over to her, Yuri’s fantasies of what she wants to do with Yoona was stop when Yoona jumps on her.

“OW!”

“That’s what you get for being cheesy… ACK YUL…”

Next thing, they know, Yuri have trapped Yoona underneath her.

“Never underestimate me, baby…”

“When did I ever?” Yoona says softly, her eyes got distracted from Yuri’s eyes drifting to her lips.

“Good.”

Yuri gives Yoona a sweet, lingering kiss before cuddling with the girl.

“Go to sleep…” Yoona hums softly… “I’ll stay here until you wake…”

End of flashback...

*

Now that Yuri sees it, how stupid could she be for believing it?

*

Yoona have finally manage to stand up, but instead she ends up getting pushed and shoved and worse cursed at, for standing between the doorway…

She tries to exhale but instead of taking a breath, she just pours out more tears.

Flashback…

As much as Yoona told herself not to, still she couldn’t help it. Her tears started flowing out and every teardrop didn’t do anything but makes Mr. Kwon smile a bit wider, enjoying the effect that he had on the girl. But he wasn’t done with her… He needed to do the finishing touches…

“It’s a pity how you made Yuri your entire world, when all you’ll ever be is a piece of hers.”

Yoona wipes away her tears with the back of her sleeve, when she looks up, she sees Mr. Kwon handing her a tissue to wipe her tears.

“You probably think that my daughter is this knight in shining armor, rescuing you from your pathetic life. But you don’t know Yoona, Yuri is quite weak too… Take away everything and she’s almost or probably much more weaker than you. And I won’t be surprise if she comes back to me…”

He waited a little bit more until finally saying…

“Don’t reach the point, Yoona where this might happen, why don’t you walk away first? It’s going to hurt for a little while but I assure you, that pain is nothing compared to the pain you would feel when Yuri would leave you with nothing.”

End of flashback…

*

“Yoona?”

Yoona closes her eyes to the sound of Yuri’s voice. She clenches on to her guts, anything to keep her from running into Yuri’s arms, but it was too late when it was Yuri who wrapped her in her arms before she could step inside the metrorail...

“Let me go, Yuri…” Yoona peeps out, yet she couldn’t say it any louder because she knew that the last thing she wants is for Yuri to let go. “I said let go.”

“NO!” And instead Yuri’s hold on Yoona only grew tighter. “Were you seriously going to leave me? Were you?!”

“Let go Yuri…”

“STOP! Stop saying that because I won’t…” Yuri buries her head on Yoona’s hair before she pleaded… “ I won’t… Why is it so easy for you to walk away? While the thought of even being away from you is enough to kill me?”

“I’m doing this for us!” Yoona finally screams out, trying to shove Yuri away but even if Yuri accidentally let go, she quickly got back in Yoona’s arms again.

“THERE WON’T BE AN US IF YOU LEAVE!" Yuri screams back, before pulling Yoona closer to her. “There won’t be a me, if you leave…”

“You don’t understand, Yuri…”

“No, it’s you who don’t… What do I need to do to convince you that were worth fighting for?”

Yoona closes her eyes, this was her way of loving Yuri letting go so Yuri could have a great life, yet it was so hard when Yuri’s idea of love is fighting back even if they’re in a losing battle.

“I don’t want you to get hurt…”

“And you think this isn’t hurting me?” Yuri presses her forehead on Yoona before crying, pressing kisses on Yoona’s neck, face until surrendering in Yoona’s lips. “Losing you is the worst pain for me… Why is it only me who’s fighting, Yoona?”

Yoona’s finger clutches tighter on Yuri’s shirt, she buries her face on her chest, whispering to Yuri’s heart for forgiveness.

“You’re going to get hurt…” Yoona professes weakly…

“And I’m willing to get hurt, being with you is worth every pain. I told you, I told you Yoona that it’s going to be hard, its going to be hell but please don’t let them win. Please tell me that you’ll fight for us, tell yourself to fight for us... I love you, Yoona… I love you…”

Yuri keep repeating those eight letter words, saying it softly until there were only silence between them. But that the silence will ever matter, because just the feel of Yuri’s touch, her gaze and her kiss screams out nothing but her love for Yoona.

"I love you too, Yul... I love you..."

*

Yuri didn’t realize it was already morning, until slivers of daylight slip through the window. After they made love, Yuri spend the night just looking at Yoona, scared that the moment she blinks Yoona might leave her again. She presses herself closer to the sleeping girl, closing every inch space between them. Yuri closes her eyes, about to fall asleep with Yoona in her arms when the sound of the door woke her.

“Shhhhh…” She whispers to Yoona softly careful not to wake her as Yoona starts groaning at the sound. Yuri presses a soft kiss on Yoona’s forehead before stepping out of bed, putting on her clothes and walking towards the door.

*

Yuri opens the door and see Mr. Kim their landlord with a sullen look on his face.

“Good morning, Ms. Kwon…”

With the way Mr. Kim’s face looks, there is obviously nothing good about this morning.

“Good morning, Mr. Kim… how may I help you?”

“I just came to bring you this…”

Yuri looks strangely at the letter that Mr. Kim hands her. He waited for her to read it and every word starts ripping out every strength out of Yuri.

“W-wait, what does this mean?” She says shakily “An eviction notice?”

Mr. Kim stood his ground, ignoring the pain look at the young girl’s face.

“Yes… I’m giving you and your lover 24 hours to be out of my building.”