Some days I don’t know if I am wrong or right

Your mind is playing tricks on you my dear

‘Cause though the truth may vary

This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

-Of Monsters and Men: Little Talks-

“I activated the bomb…”

Those words infected his mind like virus.  What was worse of it, they kept spreading through his body causing him to shiver.  After Erika told them that she was the one activated the bomb in this region and started the war, Doojoon had a lot of assumptions coming to his head.  He almost did not want to believe it.  He thought she was still incoherent because she just woke up.  But, the way she looked Junhyung in the eyes and spoke the words, he knew right away that it was the truth.

Erika really started the war.

There must be a reason.  The Erika that she knew won’t simply trigger a bomb to go off and destroy many precious lives.  He was sure there must be a solid reason behind her impossible action.  Therefore, his time was spent formulating theories.  From simple theories to big conspiracies theories, he had it all invented in order to accept the truth that Erika had spoken.  He felt disgusted, he was sure about that.  But, he was not sure if it was because of the information he was still trying to digest or because he thought bad about his own friend.

He raked his hands through his hair and proceeded to hold his head tightly.  He felt a headache coming.  He wanted this to be a dream but it was sure as hell wasn’t because he could remember clearly what had happened in the last few hours.

He received a report from Yoseob when they were about to leave their working site.  He couldn’t believe his ears when Yoseob informed him about the misfortune happened to the other group of four.  Yoshikuni and Dongwoon who had listened to the walkie-talkie were surprised too.  According to Yoseob, Junhyung had reported that Erika suddenly was not herself and tried to attack Gikwang but luckily at that moment, both of them were unconscious.  Junhyung had requested help from the three of them because he insisted that whatever happened Yoseob and Sierra should stay and guard the base office.

So, the three of them had come to their rescue as soon as they could.  What surprised them even more was Junhyung’s bloody condition.  He didn’t report of his injury.  Yoshikuni had tried to stop his blood and that took quite a while since there were two wounds – of gunshot and knife.  Doojoon swore he could vomit at the sight.  Dongwoon contacted the base to tell Yoseob and Sierra to get ready at the emergency room.  When the blood finally slowed down, Yoshikuni had instructed them to get to the base office as soon as possible.

Dongwoon had volunteered to carry Erika, but Yoshikuni forbid him.  Dongwoon was not exactly recovered from his past injury.  In the end, Doojoon had carried Erika and Hyunseung carried the unconscious Gikwang.  Junhyung who was pale on his feet insisted to walk by himself but he was still leaning heavily towards Yoshikuni.

Once they were at the base, Yoseob volunteered himself to be the one to compose Hyunseung, who was already hyperventilating.  Doojoon quickly placed Erika on a bed in the ward.  Gikwang, who already gained consciousness on their way back, was also given a bed.  Yoshikuni said she wanted to check on the concussion but she had to work on Junhyung first.  Junhyung looked like he was going to pass out very soon if Yoshikuni did not pushed him on a chair.  But, then all their attention was diverted again when they heard Dongwoon talked to Erika.  They became alerted as Erika acted crazy one more time.  Dongwoon was kicked when he tried to calm her down.  Junhyung was quick to go and calmed her.  Doojoon was glad that she managed to calm down, but that was when he heard it.

“I activated the bomb…”

He wanted to cover his ears.  Damn, he did not want to hear Erika sobbed and whimpered because that only made him believed that was the truth that he needed to accept.  It was an impossible task.  Erika couldn’t be a killer.  Junhyung had stayed with her until she was asleep again because he did not want to risk Dongwoon being injured.  After that, the effect of adrenalin wore off and Junhyung passed out cold.  Yoshikuni tried to control herself but she was too panic.  Doojoon was the one to get her back on track but it was more of consoling himself.  Again and again, he had to remind himself that Junhyung will be fine.

They had taken him to the emergency room.  Yoshikuni sighed in relief when she saw the gunshot wound.  The bullet had not drill a hole in his upper right arm.  Instead it had passed through the outer flesh.  Yes, Junhyung had torn his muscle but the wound was not enough to do any serious damage to his arm.  There was also a deep slash at his lower right arm.  That must be where Erika had cut him.  Yoshikuni cleaned both wounds, sutured and bandaged his arm.  But, when she declared that Junhyung was in dire need of blood transfusion, Doojoon went pale.

A lot of questions came to his mind.  What if there’s no one with compatible blood with Junhyung?  Will he die?  Couldn’t he just recover without any transfusion?

Junhyung was lucky again.  Sierra and Yoshikuni were compatible.  Sierra had donated a bag and Yoshikuni had donated another.  After he was sure that everything would be fine, he told them that he will be at the basement, checking the security system.  To be honest, he felt that he can no longer be there, unless he wanted to waste his lunch onto the floor.  Oh, he so didn’t fancy that.

So, he was alone in the basement, thinking about the truth that he was still trying to digest.  His body felt so tense that he felt he can get muscle cramps if he didn’t relax anytime soon.  But, then he felt a pair of gentle hands massaging his shoulders.  He started to ease.

“I hope you are alright.  I can’t afford another member of this family become crazy on me anymore,” Yoshikuni’s voice penetrated his ears.  He lifted up his face and looked at her.

“I am fine,” he said but his face said otherwise.  Yoshikuni sat beside him.

“How’s Junhyung?” he asked.

“Stable,” she paused, “Still unconscious though.  He’s resting,” she stated.  Doojoon nodded.

“Gikwang?” he asked again.

“He has a slight concussion but he’s fine,” she answered, “Hyunseung’s fine too.  He’s in his room right now, resting,” she quickly continued because she knew Doojoon will ask.

Yoshikuni knew that Doojoon will not ask about Erika.  Nobody will ask.  It was quite clear that she was not fine.  Damn, triggering a bomb is not fine.  It was never fine.  Her refusal to tell them her memory was not helping either.  They cannot know her story if she was hiding it from them.

“How’s Dongwoon?” Doojoon asked finally.

“He refused to leave her side.  I don’t have the heart to force him to leave.  Worst comes to worst, I’ll just have to deal with another patient,” she stated.

Doojoon smiled and nodded.  He rounded his right arm around her shoulder.  Yoshikuni leaned her head against his shoulder and his against Yoshikuni’s head.  They stayed like that for a little while.  Suddenly, Yoshikuni spoke.

“I am supposed to tell you that you should eat dinner.  Yoseob and Sierra had prepared chicken soup since before we arrived,” she said.  Doojoon laughed a small laugh.

“Yeah, I think food is the best thing I could think of right now,” Doojoon stood up, “Let’s go,” he extended his hand for her to take and she took it and they walked to the kitchen together.

+++++

Dinner was not so exciting.  Only four of them sat at the dining table that night.  They did not speak a thing.  It was as if all voices were stolen and even the cricket didn’t sound anymore.  Maybe it was their ears that were blocked.  Yoseob can’t be so sure.  So, when they were done with dinner, Sierra had volunteered to clean the dishes.  At least, having something to do was probably the best thing at the moment rather than sitting around, unable to speak to one another.

Yoseob reheat the soup to be sent upstairs.  Yoshikuni had ordered him to do so.  Yoseob was confident that nobody was in mood for any food, but she said that she needed to get some food into them.  Well, maybe not for those who were asleep.  That explained why he was standing in front of Hyunseung’s room with a tray of food.  He knocked twice before Hyunseung opened the door.  His eyes looked very dim that Yoseob was quite sure the main source of light of the world was already broken.

“Hey, I thought you would be hungry,” Yoseob said.  Hyunseung opened the door wider, a sign for Yoseob to come in.  He did not reply his smile though.

Yoseob came in and placed the chicken soup on the bedside table.  Hyunseung did not say anything.  He walked to his bed and sat on it.  Yoseob just stood there dumbly, stubbornly waiting for Hyunseung to say something.  But, Hyunseung did not say a thing and finally, Yoseob gave up.  He was about to opened the door again when Hyunseung suddenly spoke.

“She did not do it.  She was with me when we escaped together.  She did not trigger the bomb,” he said.

Yoseob turned to him and nodded.  Seeing Hyunseung’s face made him lose the heart to tell him that he, in fact, had left first to get help.  A lot of things could happen in that moment when he was separated from Erika.  Erika could activate the bomb, for all Yoseob knew.  But, he can’t say it out loud.  He can’t say it because it will hurt not only Hyunseung, but himself.  So, he looked Hyunseung in the eyes and said something that he had been telling himself since hours ago.

“She did not do it,” he gave him a small smile before walked out of the room.  He thought of going down to the basement, to his computer, the only companion that won’t judge him for what he was thinking or doing, but his legs carried him to the ward room.

There he found Dongwoon sitting beside Erika’s bed, being a loyal partner he should be, although the other party couldn’t think of him the same.  Yoshikuni was beside him, trying to force him to eat.  Dongwoon nodded and said that he would eat later.  But, Yoshikuni was smarter to know that the dinner will be forgotten.

“Hey, Erika and I did not simply waste our energy to make food that won’t be eaten by anyone,” Yoseob came to rescue, feigning offended tone.

Hearing Yoseob (fake) offended tone, Dongwoon’s face changed and he quickly took the bowl from Yoshikuni.  She smiled and nodded a ‘thank you’ to Yoseob.  Then, she proceeded to Gikwang.  Gikwang was not asleep.  He was having a conversation with Doojoon, while eating.  At first, Yoseob thought that Gikwang was the one that needed a partner to speak to and Doojoon was being kind-hearted to make up conversation with him.  But, after he looked closely, he knew that Doojoon was the one that needed the composure.  Gikwang’s face showed nothing but trust.  He’s not quick to judge.  When all of them seem to have mind conflict on Erika’s words of truth, Gikwang chose to believe in his best friend for whatever she did.  That gave Yoseob the composure he needed.

Then, he diverted his attention to Junhyung’s bed located at the end of the room, right beside the window.  He was pale and grey in the face.  His arm was heavily bandaged and the other arm was hooked to IV blood transfusion tube.  That was not a sight that he would like to see, but he knew that guy will make it.  They all knew that he was just lucky – lucky that the bullet didn’t damage his bone and lucky that he had Yoshikuni and Sierra to donate their blood to him.

He walked to his bed and stood beside it.  He swallowed but suddenly his throat felt so dry.  What if, just what if he was unlucky?  What would be of them?  He knew he was just being sensitive after having such emotional turmoil over Erika’s confession, but he knew what would happen if Junhyung was unlucky.  A movement by his side tore all his thoughts away.

“You better relax, Yoseob.  I don’t think this ward has enough bed and I don’t think I like all of you being here.  Come on, you can’t just leave me alone handling this situation,” Yoshikuni tried to break the tense silence.

Only then he noticed that he had gripped the side of the bed so hard that his knuckles turned white.  He let go of his grip and nodded to Yoshikuni.  He tried to smile although it came out retarded.

“You look so ugly, you know that right?” Yoshikuni said.  Yoseob chuckled.

“Well, yeah.  I shouldn’t smile right?” he asked.

“Nope.  Keep smiling.  Your retarded smile made my day,” she said and she left him to go back to Doojoon.

When he looked at Gikwang, he gave him a sincere smile, the one that was proper and not retarded as his.  He tried to mirror that smile but it still came out retarded.  But, that was enough to make him feel alright.  That was enough for him to tell himself that everything will be alright.  Not long after that, Sierra entered the room and went directly to him, beside Junhyung’s bed.  He had decided to stand vigil after all.

“So, Yoseob?  Is he okay?” she chirped.  That was cheerful, considering the dullness in the room.

“Yoshikuni said he’s fine.  He just needs his rest,” Yoseob nodded.

Sierra smiled while looking at something.  Yoseob followed her gaze and that landed on the bag of blood hanged by the bedside.  Then, she looked at him again with a huge smile.

“That’s my blood, you know!” she whispered excitedly.  Yoseob cringed.

“That’s gross!” he replied.

“Well, you are just jealous because I get to save Junhyung and you don’t,” she shrugged.  Yoseob laughed and pulled her to his side.

“Will all of us be alright, honey?” he said with a small laugh escaping his mouth.

“Of course, dear, because all of us have something that the world don’t,” she said with a smile.

“Oh.  What is it, may I ask?”

“Love and friendship,” she answered.  As cliché as it sounded, Yoseob loved to hear that.

+++++

They listened to her intently.  It was hard to understand because she was almost whispering.  Having her crying at the same time was not helping either.  But, they had asked her to tell the full story that she remembered, right after she woke up.  They were lucky because she decided not to act like a madwoman again.

“The phone.  I thought it was the common mobile phone.  I took it to get help,” she said.  They strained their ears to listen.

“Okay…” Dongwoon encouraged her to go on.

“Once I was sure I could get the coverage, I tried to make a call,” she cried again.  Dongwoon hold her shoulder firmly and comfortingly.

“And then?” he asked.  The others only listened.

“I thought to straight away get Yoshikuni or Junhyung.  But, the phone was locked with a code,” she said.

“And you tried random code?” he asked again.

“No,” she shook her head, “I noticed that I can make an emergency call.  So, I tried to call 911.  But, when I tapped the call icon…” she shuddered.

So, they knew what happened next.

“The bomb went off,” Hyunseung finished it for her.  She nodded and she sobbed again.  Dongwoon pulled her to him and she cried on his shoulder.

“I didn’t know, I swear.  I didn’t kill…no…I can’t do that,” she whimpered.

“Yes, Erika.  Nobody said that you kill anybody,” Dongwoon said and he could sigh in relief.  After all, it was not Erika’s intention to blow the whole things up.

“The phone was set up to trigger the bomb if the call icon was tapped.  No matter there was coverage or not, the bomb will go off.  That’s how it worked,” Yoseob fed in the info.

He was the computer genius.  Now, he that he knew it was all a set up, he was not really worried anymore.  Erika did not do it.  He was right.

“Don’t worry, Erika.  We know you did not do it.  We do not just believe it but we know it wasn’t you,” Doojoon chose the right words to speak.  He did not want to break her already fragile heart.

“Yeah.  I know you, buddy.  I know right from beginning that you are not the culprit.  Those bastards that set it up were so effed up,” Gikwang added cheerfully.  Hyunseung nodded.

“Nobody will do that to you again.  Nobody will harm you again.  I promise,” Dongwoon rubbed her back soothingly.

There was the awkwardness.  They noticed that suddenly things were getting personal.  Yoshikuni gave them eye signal that they should leave the place.  So, they left.  By afternoon, only Junhyung was left in the ward room.  He was still sleeping since last night and Yoshikuni was determined if he didn’t wake up by evening, she will wake him up with a force nobody else would experience.  She needed to get some food into him, and water, for God’s sake.  As though, he heard her silent threat, he woke up just before lunch time.

“Hey, sleepyhead!  How are you feeling?” she asked.  He rolled his eyes.

“I will be better if you are not here,” he replied sarcastically.

“Oh!  You better be grateful I didn’t just kill you last night.  Although I have to say that I almost do it,” she said.

“You have no right.  I saved the situation yesterday.  I think I deserve to be a hero,” he said jokingly.

“Really?  A hero?” she breathed in, “You did not report to the base of your injury, so none of us know that you are injured until we get there.  Plus, it was a gunshot wound and for all I know you could be worse off.  You are lucky that Sierra’s and my blood is compatible with you so you don’t get to die because of blood loss!  And you are just so lucky you do not die in my hand!”

“Okay, woman.  You are right, as always,” he answered with sarcasm and she rolled her eyes, “How was everybody?”

“Fine!” she said, “We know full story about the activated bomb.  And you won’t get to know it if you don’t eat your food,” she pointed the bedside table.

“Actually, I can formulate a theory here.  She accidentally activated the bomb because the phone was set up to be that way,” he said nonchalantly and looked at her, “Did I get it right?”

“I’ll answer that after you eat.”

“I am not hungry.”

“Your last meal was your lunch yesterday, before you were shot and slashed.  Honestly, you need another one,” she tapped her leg on the floor impatiently, “Or I will have no other choice than to spoon feed you.”

“No!  I am perfectly capable to eat by myself,” he cringed at the vision of being spoon fed.

“Okay, I will stay here to see you eat,” she said.  He sighed.

“What are you so worried about anyway?” he asked, “It’s not that I am seriously injured.  It’s not that painful anyway.”

She walked to him and gave him a smirk.  Then, she held his bandaged arm gently before applied a slight pressure to it.

“Owww!” he shouted, “What was that for?” he asked, annoyed.

“Not that painful.  I can see that,” she made a face and took a chair to sit beside the bed.  Junhyung sighed again before forced himself to eat his food.

Listening to: Local comedy

Mood: Laughing my off. :')