And when you needing your space

To do some navigating

I’ll be here patiently waiting

To see what you find

-Jason Mraz: I Won’t Give Up-

It has been two weeks and Erika’s wound healed progressively.  Yoshikuni was still very strict though.  Erika was allowed only to do office work, like analysing documents, security control and tools checking.  She didn’t even allow her to work on the food crops.

“I don’t want to risk anything when we are short of antibiotics,” she had said and Erika found herself obeyed to that.

Yoshikuni was the doctor anyway, that was what Erika had learned in two weeks.  She was a very strict doctor, who still held to the Hippocratic Oath although it wasn’t that necessary at this place and time.  Erika also knew that Junhyung was Yoshikuni’s best friend.  They worked in the army together and the way they think was the same, although in different contexts.  If Yoshikuni was strict about health, Junhyung was very particular about safety.  Every evening, when the Sun went down at the west, he was the one keeping them in and then locked the windows and doors.  He would also ask Yoseob to activate the security alarm which he located right next to his bed.

Yoseob was simply a computer genius.  Sierra had told Erika that he was a computer scientist pre-war.  He could hack, program and do other wonders with computer.  Junhyung told her that when they first met Yoseob, he told them to find him at least a computer and he swore that he could keep them protected and updated.  Junhyung found three for him and he said that was the first time he saw that man acting childish, hugging the computers and smiled gleefully.  Sierra said that the sight was rather touching than funny because Yoseob’s life was completely computers and herself, of course.

Sierra was just another successful woman like Yoshikuni.  She was once a petroleum engineer and the war crashed her dream to serve the humanity.  She was enthusiastic about her profession.  The day she was employed, she made a promise to sustain energy and save the Earth.  But then she knew that the industry was not all about finding oil and provide to the society.  It involved dirty business and politics.  She said she felt like she was practically drowning in the oil, highly viscous that when she tried to swim out to get fresh air, she was pulled down even further.  It was nasty and stink, she said.

Doojoon was in the same business as Sierra, the oil industry.  From Yoseob’s story, Erika came to know that Doojoon was the geologist who worked together with Sierra, the reservoir engineer and another geophysicist, whose name was not mentioned.  His job was to locate potential reservoirs with his teammate.  Doojoon’s dream too, was crashed when the Oil War began.  He felt useless and almost gave up life, but then on a very long journey, he found them, Dongwoon, Junhyung and Yoshikuni.  When he learned that Dongwoon was struggling in between life and death, he decided to use his knowledge in saving them.  He could at least find for them water resources.

As for Dongwoon, Erika learned a lot about him.  Not from himself though.  Erika thought his words were too precious as he kept quiet most of the time.  Yoshikuni said he was like that since the physical trauma.  Junhyung told her he was dying when they found him, miraculously alive under the fallen rig.  It was already hard to remove the crashed steel beam on top of him but it was even harder for them to move him because he was so fragile.  A bag of broken bones, that was what Junhyung described him as.  They managed to keep him alive and took him away with them.  Things were a bit of mess when Doojoon found them.  He and Dongwoon were colleagues, friends and to see him lying like a corpse had caused Doojoon to sank to his knees crying.  When Dongwoon woke up, he was the happiest person on Earth.  Unfortunately, Dongwoon was the saddest.

“It seems like you couldn’t move your legs,” Yoshikuni said.

Erika was told by Doojoon that he saw Dongwoon losing hope to live.  But, Junhyung had suggested that Yoshikuni helped him to some physical therapy.  Junhyung tried to get the equipment and that was when they gym in the basement was built.  Dongwoon walked normally again after 4 months.  But, all of them could not get him out of sight because during his recovery period, there were five to six times he went to respiratory arrest and a lot of times he just dropped down to the floor because sometimes he just couldn’t feel his legs.  He fell sick a lot of times too because his immune system just became weaker.  But, Dongwoon was thankful that he could move normally again and as stubborn as he was, he insisted to get his jobs done to contribute to this small family.

It’s her turn to show how she’s worth to this family.  Erika wanted to do more than just sit in the base office, looking and analysing stuff.  She wanted to be out there with them, out to the wrecked world and find what was left to use.

“I guess that’s how Dongwoon had felt before, when Yoshikuni had denied his request,” Doojoon pursued his lips after replying to her request.

Erika knew that speaking to Yoshikuni about her wish to go out won’t do any good.  She won’t let her out.  Yoshikuni was hard to bend.  Erika knew that Doojoon had something that will make Yoshikuni bend or even melt.  So, she had decided to ask him this.  Even if Doojoon didn’t consider her request, she could make some conversation with him.  Doojoon was out there most of the time, so she couldn’t find time to get closer to him as a family member.

“Well, I guess so,” she shrugged, “So, could you assign something for me?” she asked.  Doojoon looked up at her from the paper he was studying.

“I would like you to do more than just sitting here and analyse papers,” Doojoon stopped and looked deeply into her eyes as if searching for something, “But, I don’t know what you are capable of.”

“What do you mean?” Erika asked.

“You know that.  Before the war, all of us had jobs.  I’m a geologist, so they assign me to find water or any Earth resources that could benefit us because that is what I know.  Yoshikuni a doctor, Yoseob a computer scientist, Sierr-”

“I know something about geology too.  About Earth.  To be exact I know something about Geophysics,” Erika had raised her voice, annoyed that they thought she couldn’t do anything.

For a while, there was a surprise on Doojoon’s facial expression.  At first she thought he was shocked that she was acting rude to him but then she realized it was nothing like that.  In his eyes, there was a glint of hope.

“You remember being a geophysicist?” he asked, moving the office chair slightly closer to her.

“No.  What?  Not geophysicist, damn I don’t know if I ever had a job back then.  But, I remember my time in university.  I can recall myself as a geophysics student,” she said.  Doojoon’s eyes grew.

“Your time in the university?  What do you remember?” the paper he was holding slipped off his palm as he grabbed her arms.

“I-I remember studying stuff like Physics of the Earth, Sedimentary Processes and stuff.  Why?” she had asked with contorted expression because of the pain Doojoon caused by grabbing her arms.  He softened after she answered his question.

“You don’t remember anything else?” he asked again, this time gently.

“There are flashes of memories and I can’t solve the puzzle yet.  It was all over the places.  I remember learning stuff and there’s a guy that’s everywh-”

“A guy you say?” Doojoon had cut her speech.

“Yes,” she nodded, “But, I can’t remember the face.  It was just a guy, almost everywhere in my memory.  He attended classes he wasn’t supposed to go to and he was often at the gym.”

Doojoon froze at his spot.  He released his grip on Erika’s arms, slowly and hesitantly.  His eyes were still boring into her eyes, finding for something she didn’t know.  She wished people will just stop acting weird already.  Whenever she mentioned memory, they will just freeze on the spot.  She was not that slow to not notice that.

“Okay,” Doojoon nodded and collected the paper from the floor.  It was a very rare occasion to see him losing his composure.

“Is there anything, Doojoon?” she asked, just to ensure that he losing his composure had nothing to do with her sudden talk about memory.

“No,” he said, back to analysing his paper, “So, you were saying that you remember stuff geophysicists do?”

“Yes.”

“I will try to persuade Yoshikuni about this.  But, for now, you should help me analyse the data logging Yoseob had done on the previous day.  It would help us to find more freshwater aquifer.  I believe you have the specialty in this too,” Doojoon said and left before Erika even nodded to his instruction.

+++++

Dongwoon and Sierra had worked on the well’s data since morning.  Drilling for oil was one thing that had always amused them in the past.  But presently, they could tell that none of them really felt the same anymore.  Sierra knew that Dongwoon might have suffered a mental trauma from what happened back then.  Whenever he looked at the structure of oil rig or oil well, even it was on the paper, black and white, he would shudder and took a sit to regain his calm.

Junhyung had long ago suggested that they should complete the well he had found on a drilling site.  He had been really forcing, much to Dongwoon’s distaste.  Sierra knew that there were not much of energy resources left for them.  Although she could say that they will survive for some years before they were totally out of it and must go back to north, Sierra thought that Junhyung was being ridiculous here.  How could they make an abandoned well to completion in this post-war condition?  There weren’t enough tools and tech for it.  Damn, there weren’t enough people to even work on it.  Junhyung was being illogical here.  But then, again, he never had failed to provide them with tech they need, had he not?

So, there were sitting in the makeshift library, studying data they had long ago not analysed.  They had been there since morning and Sierra started to feel sore in her neck because she had been bending over the papers for long hours.

“From the data loggings, the formation was divided into a few layers, sealed by shale layers.  This geophysicist reported no sealing fault though,” Sierra said as she looked again at her calculation in the laptop.

“Permeability is different in each layer...” Dongwoon mumbled to himself, “I need more details.  I think it is better not to perforate all the layers at the same time.  Your job Sierra, is to give me an excellent log interpretation.  I should be able to do the rest,” Dongwoon said, looking at the papers that were a mess on the table.

Their analysis on the oil well was disrupted by Doojoon.  Dongwoon only casted him a glance and get back to his work.  Sierra eyed him tiredly, thinking what it could be that Doojoon looked rather restless right at the moment.

“Erika.  She knows something,” Doojoon said.

“Everybody knows something, Doojoon,” Sierra answered, hinting Doojoon to be more specific.

“She remembers her time in the university.  She remembers being a geophysics student,” that managed to catch Dongwoon’s attention.

Sierra looked at Doojoon.  Dongwoon had put down his pencil and eyed Doojoon as well.  Doojoon felt nervous without knowing why.  His next information might give them a shock.

“He remembers Gikwang.”

The air in the room suddenly was still.  Doojoon was sculpted onto the floor, Sierra’s mouth was opened and Dongwoon froze.  Erika remembered Gikwang all this while and she didn’t tell them?

“Why didn’t she tell us before?” Sierra asked after a while.

“She said about not remembering the face.  She just has these pieces of memory about him.  She did not even remember his name actually but I know this guy’s Gikwang.  Erika said that she only remembers her years in university.  They were best friends, remember, Erika and Gikwang?” Doojoon told them.  His answer was not convincing.  Dongwoon had picked up his pencil and resumed his work again.  Sierra lost interest.

“So, she remembers her time in university.  Does she remember you?  Does she remember me?” Sierra asked nonchalantly, didn’t want to have her hope crashed again.

“She didn’t say anything like that,” Doojoon blinked.

“So, she doesn’t remember anything,” Sierra tried to get back to her work.

“No, Sierra.  She does remember something.  She said about a guy attending random classes and going to the gym, stuff like that.  Who did that all the time?  That’s definitely Gikwang!” Doojoon had raised his voice.  Sierra stopped.

“That’s Gikwang…” she said slowly, thinking, “But then, Gikwang is not here, Doojoon.  We don’t even know if he’s even alive.  There’s no use-”

“Maybe Erika needs more stimuli to make she remembers.  That’s my point,” Doojoon quickly cut Sierra.

“I don’t know, Doojoon.  I find it a bit hard to keep the hope up high,” Sierra sighed.

“I don’t know you’re such a pessimist, Sierra,” Dongwoon suddenly said, tone very disappointed.  He didn’t try to hide it, at all.

Doojoon and Sierra looked at each other.  They had forgotten that Dongwoon was there, listening to their bickers down to every detail.  Their university’s life together with Erika, four of them – Erika, Doojoon, Sierra and Gikwang.  It might have hurt Dongwoon because he was supposed to be the one remembered by Erika.  Talking about giving up hope, he was the one who should say that first because he was the one broken – physically and emotionally.

“It’s not that I’m being pessimistic,” Sierra looked at Dongwoon whose eyes were still fixed on the laptop, “I’m just afraid that when I have hope, it will only remain as hope.  The first day I met her, when she looked all confused and bl-”

“How do you think I should handle this?” Dongwoon asked even before Sierra finished her talking.  Sierra looked at Doojoon who shook his head.

“What?”

“I said, how do you think I should handle this?  If you guys are being so negative, how about me?” Dongwoon sighed and finally looked up to them.

“I don’t mean to…I’m sorry, Dongwoon,” Sierra said.  Dongwoon shrugged and get back to his work.

“How’s work, Doojoon?” Dongwoon quickly changed the topic, took notice at the tension built in the room.

“It’s fine.  Although I really need someone who is highly specialized in geophysics, I think I still can manage alone for now,” Doojoon said.

“Good.  Things are rather busy here,” Dongwoon said.  Doojoon can’t be sure if by ‘busy’ Dongwoon meant that he should leave.  He just stayed anyway.

“You mean?”

“Look, only the two of us work on this abandoned oil well.  I can’t see any future in this.  I mean, we need human resource but it isn’t possible now.  Only us,” Dongwoon said.

“Am I not good enough as a partner, Dongwoon?” Sierra asked, feeling sorry that she could not be much of help.  She was a petroleum engineer but highly specialized in reservoir engineering, not drilling or production.

“No.  You’re really good.  Just that we need more people to work on this.  It is not necessary to have the skill.  We just need anybody that can work.  But, as I say, it is impossible to find someone you could interview as a worker now,” said Dongwoon.

Sierra and Doojoon caught the nerd sense of humour Dongwoon intended to them.  It was enough to make them smile.

“I think so,” Sierra agreed to his claim.

“I think we really should make Erika remember something so that she can work with us,” Dongwoon said without looking at them.  He was busy looking at some graphs and writing notes here and there.

Doojoon and Sierra glanced at each other.  Dongwoon sounded so serious.  All of them had agreed not to tell anything about Erika’s past to her.  Yoshikuni and Junhyung thought it would be best if she could remember it herself.

“You know that we agree to keep our mouth shut on her past?” Doojoon questioned him.

There was a tensing silence in the room.  Doojoon and Sierra looked at Dongwoon who was still really deep into his graphs reading.  For a moment, Doojoon thought that Dongwoon didn’t hear him.  He was about to repeat himself when Dongwoon broke the silence.

“I know.  But, as you said just now Doojoon, she needs more stimuli to remember,” he answered.  Sierra stood up to that.

“I get it.  We don’t tell her directly who she was or what happened before.  We just need to trigger her memory,” Sierra looked very hopeful.  Dongwoon looked at them and smiled.

“Yes, by recreating scene, talking to her with the same dialogue you guys had with her, that stuff, you know.  In fact Doojoon, you making her analysing the data logging could have made her remember some stuff about geophysics,” Dongwoon explained.

“Right,” Doojoon nodded.

“I cannot guarantee it would work though.  But, we can always try,” Dongwoon shrugged.  Sierra sighed.

“I don’t want to be disappointed again,” she whined.

“We don’t know what she faced out there.  The trauma might make she forget.  It is hard to know.  We don’t know what happened to her.  The only thing that we know is that the site was blasted while she was there.  I want to give it a try,” Doojoon spoke.

Dongwoon stopped writing when he heard what Doojoon said.  Sometimes, he wondered why this should happen to them.  Why them?  Why he and Erika?  He sighed.  Sierra noticed Dongwoon’s sudden change.  Dongwoon had sat on the chair and closed his eyes.  His brows knitted.  Doojoon quickly took the seat beside him.

“You okay, Dongwoon?” he asked worriedly.  Dongwoon opened his eyes.

“I’m fine.  Just…” his voice didn’t sound stable at all and Dongwoon hated that he had to appear so weak in front of his friends, “I’ve been wondering for a while.  Why were these happening to us?  Why Erika and I?”

Doojoon and Sierra were shocked that the question coming from Dongwoon.  He was not the one who was complaining all this while.  Dongwoon was known to be strong, known to have good control over his own emotion.  This was just not him.  Sierra just didn’t know how to answer that question.

“At least she’s here, Dongwoon.  Safe and sound,” Doojoon said.

“And don’t have the slightest memory of me,” Dongwoon continued, frustrated.

Doojoon didn’t know how to respond to that.  Maybe if Yoseob were here he would know how to react.  Maybe if Junhyung were here, he would know what to do.  Maybe Yoshikuni was the one who should sit here right now.  Sierra was agitated seeing the unstable Dongwoon.  What came out from next was not something she had expected.

“Maybe if you let her see the ring again she will remember.”