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*PLAY*

I am at war.
I am. ! I'm fidgeting again. Do you know how hard it is for me to sit up; prim and proper?

(laughs nervously)

Aaah.. Of course you can see that! (slaps my forehead) I'm sorry for babbling again.

As I was saying, I am at war. At war with what? With everything.... or maybe with nothing! I am
not so sure at all. I am at war with my self, with the society, with my feelings, and with my love.

My love for my self, for my pride, for my beliefs and for HIM. Him- do you know who Xiah is? Kim Junsu?
Well, who wouldn't? especially you.

I hate my love for him. I know, now, you hate me too. Yes, I know you love him. You and he are meant to be.
I do not have any complaints about that. (in the brink of crying)

Yes! You are set to be wed in one week and I am your bridesmaid. I know I have to say this in a video recorder, because..

(trying to stop the tears from falling) because, I cannot tell this in front of your face without seeing you hurting!
I don't know if you'll still consider me your bestfriend, I know you'll hate me after this.

I am your best friend and I betrayed you for loving him.

(sobbing sounds)

! (exclaims while trying to laugh) I am very much sorry, I don't want to deceive you, to betray you. I love you and...
I do not want to hurt you, but you deserve to know everything, every single detail.

(laughs) I know you are not used to this. I usually am the one who listens while you talk- talk about your life, your love life;
your love for my one true love. I know I sound bitter but I am! I love you and I love him. I really am sorry. I hope you can and will forgive me.

*PAUSE*

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I'm sorry if the foreword turned out to be the first chapter. =)
I'll try and explain, this chapter
The story opens with YOU (the reader) watching a video recorded by her best friend (I).
everything inside the Parenthesis (....) is what you see/hear your best friend doing in the video and the words are the words uttered by your bestfriend. Hope you can imagine that. =)

I hope this explains the *PLAY* and the *PAUSE*

It's my first story. so please bear with me and my not-so-good use of the language. thanks! I'd love to hear from you.