Jungguk's POV

While I was walking home from another tedious school day, I passed by the multistory building where Yun Hee was remaining in. For a while I caught myself adopting a new habit which included me halting in front of the prestigious building and just staring blankly at the entrance, like a lifeless statue. The strange thing was whenever I wasted my time with freezing, I noted how my mind just went vacuous and not a sole thought was able to disturb me.

There was an incident where a woman happened to walk by me, to tread into the building. However before she fully entered, she turned around to ask me if there was an exact person who I was searching for, as she had already caught me rooted at the entrance for a few times. Gotten pulled out of my trance and feeling embarrassed that someone beheld me in my creepy action, I hurriedly returned her question with the statement that I wasn't searching for anyone. Afterwards I swiftly escaped the scene and while running away, I got aware of the fact that now I seemed even more suspicious to ones eyes. I was sure after my getaway, the woman will certainly think that I was a stalker who for everyone's safety, needed to get hauled in jail.

However even though I made a fool of myself, I still continued to stop infront of the multistory building. Staring silently through the transparent sliding door and wondering if Yun Hee was at home. I haven't seen her since two weeks and due to that, did I find myself growing unbearably curious about where she had been. 

After our break-up I had to admit that I disreputably ignored and ostracized her from my normal life. I don't know what made me act so rudely towards Yun Hee and why I didn't try to interact with her. As after all she was still a really precious person who I loved to spent time with. Therefore it frustrated me to not know the reason behind my cowardly actions.

There were various times where I told myself now was the moment for me to gather all my courage and finally approach her. For the sole reason that I wanted to at least exchange a few words with her. However every time I twisted on my heels to dart in her direction, I irritatingly witnessed how my confident packed its suitcase and ran away while leaving me back to inhale his dust. Not having the braveness to move further I always stood rooted to the cold dirty floor while my eyes where only able to behold her lone form that was sitting desolate by the window.

Seeing her like that made an appalling pain slice mercilessly through my skin and if I didn't knew better with the desire to cut me bloodily. I hated leaving her all alone without anyone keeping her the deserved company. However even though I despised it so much, I was never able to act against it and add another person near her private space. I was merely able to witness her carrying on her days without anyone killing the time with her.

And if it wasn't worse enough last week our teacher told us that she checked out of our school. The second he announced the unpleasing news only shock was able to dominate my system and the skill to breath seemed to have been reset. Though after a few seconds I found additional emotions joining hand with the first one. Feelings like apprehension and anxiety.

Not caring that I was acting rude, I immediately shouted at my teacher why she dropped out. However he didn't tell me the reason why she signed out and even when I adamantly begged him to share the cause with me, he still refused vehemently. 

Now not knowing why she dropped out of our school and having the chance of talking to her gotten snatched away, made me drown in guilt. I blamed myself for not taking advantage of the given opportunities that god offered kindly to me, to fix our broken relationship. All this time plenty possibilities revealed itself but every one was destroyed by my wimpy self. Therefore I was dead sure even Lord got tired of my apathetic self and decided to punish me by making everything harder.

Daily I continued my life with the additional diverse questions about Yun Hee that that were pestering my mind. Often being left alone and not having anyone disturb me in class, did I caught my mind making up highly diverse scenarios and reasons about her absence. Maybe it was because of me that she didn't want to go to our school anymore as by now she hated me to the extend that only seeing me appalled her. Or maybe she still couldn't deal with our break-up and was mentally unstable. 

Thoughts like that were accompanying me whenever the chance constituted and even when my friends were talking to me, did I find my mind drifting to another universe far to often. The only person who was truly aware of me spacing out all the time, was J-Hope. He being the curious person, obviously questioned me when we were alone. Not being able to bear all the paining thoughts any longer, I heedlessly spilled them to him.

After listening patiently to my rapid rambling he ran me over with a perception that until now never materialized infront of my clouded eyes. He suggested me that maybe I mistook my newly developed affection towards Hara as love when in reality it was just a normal like. As if I really love her then I wouldn't keep pounding over Yun Hee invariably.
What J-Hope told me did make sense and I thought hard about it until I came to the result that he was most definitely right. But me being too afraid of that possible reality, just hurriedly shifted to a new topic so J-Hope would stop trying to present me the cruel truth. While steering away I noted how I faintheartedly stored the discovery in the far back of my mind.

Though talking to J-Hope did help me find peace for a short moment, I unfortunately realized that the second I lied on my bed, I started to worry about Yun Hee once again. Frustratingly as it seemed I couldn't get her out of my mind.

Solely thinking about her made me feel ashamed of my idle self. While I was enjoying my life carefree, she might be needing a succor who would aid her through her hard time.

However even though that could be the case, I never once called her or even wrote her a message to check on her being. Seriously... What a pathetic coward I was. And I once dared to call myself her best friend who would be the pillar she could rely on whenever there was a hard situation encountering her. Now look at me. Only thinking but never acting. Merely wanting but never being true to my word. What a big liar I am...

What prevented me from mending the fading relationship was the fear that was smiling mockingly at me.

I was scared to see the hate in her eyes that was only present the second they saw me. Moreover I feared the blame she would throw at my head and the revolting expression 'liar' which will be added as my middle name. I was scared that she wouldn't want to talk to me anymore. And mostly I was scared by the fact that maybe she was a mess because of me. That I was the cause of her negative condition.

.・゜゜・❁・゜゜・

After another tiring day instead of hanging out with my friends, I choose to cramp myself in my bedroom. I reached my house and immediately went upstairs without exchanging a proper “Hello” with my parents. The second I entered my room I carelessly dropped my bag onto the floor before flopping down onto my soft bed. Frustratingly I buried my head into the soft pillow with the attempt of hiding from the undesirable thoughts, that revolved around a special girl called Yun Hee. But before a major headache was provoked a sudden light knock on the door broke my train of thoughts and saved me room the oncoming pain. I revealed my face and lied my heavy head sideways onto the pillow.

“Come in. The door isn't locked.”

Right on cue the wood door opened and I saw my mother entering the room. She must have gotten suspicious when I didn't greet them like I usually did and being a normal mother, she must have gotten worried about my off behavior. Therefore having a lot of free time on her hand she obviously felt the need to come up and confront me.

I really wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone, but regardless I sat up and made place for her to sit down. Carefully she went over to my bed and took a seat beside me.

“Even though I know that you don't want to talk, I'll still pester you. So tell me what is bothering you so much that you forgot to tell your lovely mother hello and how much you love her?”

I rolled my eyes at her childishness and wondered how my mother could be so strange and embarrassing. Sometimes she could be so annoying but nonetheless she was a great person to talk to.

“It's about Yun Hee.”

It appeared like her name was a tabu word as upon hearing it, a sad expression scarred across her face. My mother loved Yun Hee like her very own daughter and thus was overjoyed the second I revealed to her that we started dating. As now the idea she designed that comprise of her becoming her own daughter, was in her eyes confirmed. She even started narrating about how our future would develop and how pretty our children would be. It was beyond embarrassing and creepy.

Sometimes she even joked that she would rather have Yun Hee as her daughter than me as her son. I could definitely feel how much my mother loved me...

Therefore the moment I told her I broke up with Yun Hee she was highly offended by me. She even ignored me a whole day because I dared to hurt her precious Yun Hee. At first I expected her to even ignore me for at least a month and only after me begging for forgiveness, would she stop denying my existence. However gratefully she understood that love is unpredictable and that revamped feelings are a part of it.

“Did something happen between you guys again?”

“No nothing happened. It's only that I haven't seen her since a while and I'm worried about her well-being. Moreover I don't like the fact that we aren't talking to each other anymore...”

I heard my mother sigh before I felt her placing her warm hand onto my slumbered shoulder. It was a calming sensation and I was thankful for the serene feeling it transmitted to my chaotic self. But strangely I still didn't want to face her and just continued to stare at the carpet while waiting for a possible solution.

“Jungguk. Don't you already know the answer to all this? If you want you two talking to each other again, you should man up and make the first move. Go over to see her and fix every misunderstandings.”

There was a short pause before I heard my mother take a deep breath and start talking again. “I want you guys to interact with one another as well. Moreover I miss seeing her and it would come in favor for me as well if you guys hung out like you used to do. I would be really happy if you guys could at least be friends again.”

It felt like an eternity before every last bit of the new information was decoded by my passive brain. But the second it did I found the courage returning from his vacation to lend me its support.

“You are right... I will go over to see her now. Thank you Mum.”

I smiled gratefully at her and gave her a quick hug. She returned the smile before giving me a rather harsh push while telling me to get going. Feeling a lot better I wore my jacket before heading over to meet Yun Hee.

The last chapter got much longer then expected. So I split it up

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