Life? How cruel it might sound, it kept moving on even though it was aware of the fact that it was leaving me behind. Abandoning me in the time where no one was able to remain – expect me and solitude.

That day I came to know that my brain cancer was a exceptionally aggressive one and thus it grew rapidly fast. It was advancing without any commiseration and even if the doctor wanted to help me, all attempted rescue would be too late. I was completely and utterly at the illness mercy and even though my aunt kept trying to scatter words of optimism we all knew that nothing would be able to retain me to this world anymore. Everyone including me had already accepted my destiny.

However even though my life was literally already over, I still tried my best to attend school with the aim to live my last chapter of my shortcoming life to the fullest. Waking up like usual and just living a normal teenager life. Nothing was supposed to change and no one was supposed to know.

I just wanted to continue my everyday life the way it used to be before the crushing news were announced. Pity was never something I was seeking after.

Though I might not have wanted anyone to know, there was actually one expectation. I did try contacting Jungguk numerous times for the simple reason that I wanted to at least inaugurate him. He was the only person I wanted to inform about my condition due to the fact that I once promised him to never keep any secrets from him. However even though I wanteed to meet my promise, all my attempts where devastatingly rejected.

I really missed his presence and the time where we were able to share our times pointlessly. Just conversing about diverse topics or just senselessly falling asleep in each others embraces while the sun was still up and shining brightly. Now thinking back everything appeared like it all was just a beautiful dream, which was invented by my sick brain. As these events seemed to be out of reach now due to his permanent absence.

There were actually times where he would stop shortly to talk to me for a few minutes. But sadly it was never enough for me to gather all my courage to consecrate him and thus the second he had to leave again, I was left back with fresh regrets. It was like I didn't belong into his life anymore – just cut out like a bad part no one needed.

I can still recall a memory freshly like it was only yesterday, where I witnessed him talking with another beautiful girl so comfortably that everyone would have immediately guessed that she was his girlfriend. Just seeing him smile at her the same way he used to do with me made a sharp knife pierce through my already fragile heart. Therefore me feeling bothered and jealous was a fact that I couldn't argue and fight against. It was a revolting situation in my eyes that I wanted to eradicate as quick as possible.

But the thing that prevented me from running over and dissolving the disturbing scene was the fact that I remembered the promises he made to me. The promises that were supposed to lull me into a sense of security and keep all the negative feelings away. For that sole reason did I find myself turning around and escaping the scene. I wanted to believe in his words – now and forever.

I don't know how many days went by with me only having loneliness as my companion and occasionally my beloved aunt. But extremely fast did I feel my energy getting out and now even the most trivial task became a real challenge. Being aware of my overly weakened self, I gathered all my courage together to once again try asking Jungguk to sacrifice a little bit of his time for me.

I fished my mobile phone out of my pullover and was about to open the contact book, when the display suddenly signaled me that someone was trying to contact me. Like magic the incoming call was from no other but the person I was just about to disturb myself. Not wanting to make Jungguk wait any longer I immediately slid the green circle to the right and with that gesture the call was accepted.

“Hello.”

“Hi Yun Hee. Do you have time right now?”

“Yes. Why?”

“I need to tell you something. Please meet me at the park.”

“Alright. I wanted to tell you something as well. Meet you there in a few minutes.”

After I received a goodbye from him I instantly hung up to go meet him. Feeling relieved that the opportunity finally came where I was able to release to accumulated words that had been dying to break out, I hurriedly walked to the peaceful park.

It didn't take long for me to reach the nature area and the second I did, I zealously searched for the person I had been longing to see. Seeing him wait under a tree with his treasured headphones clasped on his head, I swiftly accelerated my velocity due to the fact that I couldn't wait to be near him once again.

As he had his eyes closed he didn't realize my presence until I pulled his headphones down. Being aware that I had arrived he opened his eyes to perceive my attendance. However the second I saw the expression scarring across his face, apprehension expanded rapidly as instead of greeting me with his normally warm, gentle expression he displayed me a serious one. One that I was definitely not used to.

Feeling nervous and scared by the ominous situation, I felt my voice changing to a shaking and noticeable feeble one.

“Jungguk what is wrong?”

“I'm sorry Yun Hee. Please forgive me. But I really don't want to lie to you anymore.”

I was anxious and scared what was about to come clashing on me. But at the same time I could already guess what horrible scenario will take place in a few seconds. “Cookie. What are you apologizing for?” I could tell that Jungguk was feeling uneasy as he didn't look me into the eyes and instead choose to admire the leaves that were swaying slightly in the wind.

“I... Please don't take it personally. It's not because of you that I want to break up.”

Just like I expected the cruel words that were able to finally commence the breaking of my world slipped out of his mouth. Not being able to avert my eyes from him as he finally faced me once again, I had no other choice but to remain silent and listen to his explanation.

“Yun Hee you are a really great and beautiful girl and I am sure a lot of guys will be queuing to be your boyfriend. And I know that I am the worst because I'm hurting you like this even when I promised you I won't. But I like someone else now and I want to finally start a relationship with her. So I'm really sorry.”

Jungguk was now bowing 90 degree to me and just looking at his form I could tell that he was truly sorry. Knowing that he found another girl who would be able to brighten up his day instead of me somehow made me feel relieved. After all I won't be able to stay by his side for a long time. My time was limited and ticking away. 

Thus knowing that he found his new happiness that will replace me faultlessly, I should retreat and pass him over to his new world instead of chaining him back to my half dead self.

It seemed like it's time to let him go, so he will be able to live his life to the fullest.

I thought I would be weeping the second I would encounter my worse nightmare. However instead of crying I found myself actually being able to smile. Maybe because I now knew I was able to leave this world without having to worry about leaving him back alone.

“It's alright Cookie. I understand you... It seems like we aren't meant to be anymore after all.”

I halted my voice for a while to admire the serene surrounding. Leaves that were to old to hold onto the branch where carried by the wind who happened to take a stroll around the park. Everything seemed so peaceful and I was grateful for the comfort the nature offered me.

“Can you please fulfill my last request?”

He stopped bowing to me and straightened up to look me in the face. Judging by his gaze I could guess that he felt bad or even pitied me. Not waiting for his consent I just let the request merge with the wind that had finally reached our sole forms and allow it to deliver my message.

“Can I kiss you one last time?”

From the look on his handsome face I could tell that he was surprised by my bizarre request and maybe even my behavior. He must have had expected me to break out in tears or something of that sort. But strangely I didn't feel the desire to be angry at him – or maybe I wasn't it the right condition to get infuriated.

Though I might not had the energy to welcome the emotion anger, I sensed how the feelings sadness and loneliness grasped me in an iron grip.

I could see how Jungguk hesitated for a while and seeing him tarry made me actually smile. For the simple reason that Jungguk after all was a trustworthy person. I was glad that he didn't allow me to kiss him at once as that would mean that he didn't love his soon to be girlfriend enough. But now that I witnessed him hesitating this way made me feel assured that he was still the old Jungguk that I came to love and cherish. A guy who respected the noun 'Love'.

“I won't tell anyone about this. So don't worry.”

After feeling sheltered by my words, he nodded to indicate me it was alright to kiss him. Now having the permission I slowly went up to him before closing the gap to kiss him gently on the lips. The lips I will never be able to feel again...

While treasuring the sensation that I took for granted in the past, I could feel appalling nails digging into my heart. After all it was the last time I would be able to share such a intimate act with the person I truly loved and only by acknowledging that fact did I note the bitter taste it was able to leave behind. Without realizing a single tear slid down my cheek and clashed with the cement we were standing on.

Not wanting to remain in the position any longer as it would only add salt to the open wound I broke the kiss reluctantly. The second I broke the contact my ears picked up how Jungguk whispered a painful “I'm sorry...”

“It's alright now. I hope you'll be happy with her. You have my blessing.”

I took one step behind myself and at once a wedge was driven between us with the intention of never disappearing.

“I need to go now. So this is a farewell.”

“Yes a farewell... Yun Hee Thanks for everything.”

I didn't want to carry on that event on any longer as I sensed that the longer I remained the more it pained me. Moreover my feet seemed to have found common ground with me as he facilitated my cowardly escape and led me flawlessly back to my lonely home.

The lingering taste of your lips

that I won't ever forget.

Sorry guys but have been awfully busy with school >_<

Thanks to those who are patiently waiting! =)

Note: Unedit