Chapter 12:- Alone again.

"You don't have to hang out with us anymore…" Luhan said.

As he stood in the same spot at the café the minute those three left him, he wondered what kept him hanging with those guys all this time. If he hated them this much, why something like what has happened now did not happen before, why he doesn't feel relief that he doesn't have to put up with their anymore. He felt heartache behind the envelope he was holding against his chest, it was so heavy, it meant more than a plain envelope with a sum of money inside of it, it meant the end of the only friendship he ever had. The gathering of tears inside his eyes sting, he closed his eyes and those tears dropped down his cheek, he wants to apologize but he has nothing to apologize for, he still wants to be called a friend but what broke them up is something he still believes in and he can't lie to others let alone himself.

He is just a hypocrite, he is just that thing he hates the most, never spoke of the truth unless it was for his benefit, and now no one wants to be with him, he just has to accept this fact, the fact it's all over.

The phone rang, the ringing made the scene around him come back to life and he saw the customers looking at him; confused. He pulled his legs and left the place immediately, he took out his cell-phone to see his mother is calling, as if he needed to feel more pathetic than he feels now, he just answered to distract himself for the moment.

"Yes, mom?"

"I wanted to check on you, you weren't looking good yesterday after Kris left, did something between you two happen? You know you should apologize if you did something wrong"

"Everything between us is good mom, it has never been better" he said, he didn't lie, the only thing that kept him from moving forward was that Kris and when he is finally gone, there is this other someone that prevents him from moving on and he can't even send him a text.

"Good, that's good, I'd hate it if you two fought when you followed him all the way to that college" she said, "You care about your friends so much and that’s a good thing, I know I opposed to this college before but I came to a settlement, I'm fine if you don't regret it"

"I don't regret it mom," I regret it "I really love it there" I hate it so much "I'm always with my friends" I'm all alone.

His tears came out as much as it feels real it's so painful, he doesn't know how to hold down that pain, he was fine alone but when he experienced friendship, he don't know how to go back to what he was without breaking down.

"Good, see you on dinner" his mother hang up, he looked back at the screen and went to mails to write down a text to Baekhyun before he loses him, too.

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"Of course the surgery will work…" Kai said, sitting next to Baekhyun in the waiting room at the other side from Kyungsoo parents "I was visiting him regularly and the doctor said his vitals or something are getting better"

"Yeah? I don't think he'd need an operation if this was the case…" Baekhyun said, looking at the door where Kyungsoo was taken "I can't believe they didn't want to risk having this operation, I mean it's better than having their son dead" he placed one leg on the other and rested his back, it was 6 p.m. they should be done any time now.

"It's a brain surgery, there is plenty of risk in it, I don't blame them but I'm not ready to give him up without trying anything"

"Sure…" Baekhyun didn't fight with him over this matter, it was pointless and it was in their best interest to pray for this surgery to work.

He can't believe the amount of things a person can be concerned with at a time, this surgery, Yunho going to his father, Chanyeol… what is this guy doing right now? He thought, he shouldn't treat him that way and even so he thought the guy would send him a text by now as the apologetic type. What could have happened to him and for once gave him the time to be worried about him "Kai, I don't want to tell you about what happened between me and Kyungsoo as my ex-boyfriend but I think you should at least know this part" he turned to look at him, Kai had his elbows on his thighs as he looked at Baekhyun wondering.

"What part?"

"He heard our conversation that day" Kai moved to the back to look at him properly.

"You're saying he heard you give up on him for me?" Baekhyun nodded "and he still refused to break up with you!" Kai chuckled, ignoring the bang he felt in his chest.

"He told me that he refuses to be with any man except for me, but you never know, our relationship was kind of complicated"

"Still, there is nothing complicated about a decision, he made a choice"

"Kai… listen" Baekhyun tried to talk when Kai stood up avoiding the hand that tried to reach him.

"Are you trying to humiliate me? Like I don't feel pathetic enough trying to steal him from you"Baekhyun raised his gaze to look at him.

"What made you want him this bad?" something he still can't get, what has happened between Kai and Kyungsoo when all he knows is that they spent their whole time together. He has no clue in what time span Kai was able to interact with Kyungsoo in a way that made him like this now.

"It's normal to want the person you love" Baekhyun asked calmly.

"Why do you love him?" he almost didn't know himself, the one that fights all the time and gets angry for the slightest things, this serious situation he is in now, where he is in the verge of losing his ex-boyfriend in that surgery, killed all the energy he has, the stress is draining all his energy and he doesn't know how long it is going to last.

"He…" he hesitated to tell him "I'm sure he doesn't remember it anyway" he looked away and sat down again, the both of them ate nothing since morning, no one practically had the energy to do anything.

"If you want to be with Kyungsoo don't ever underestimate him" he said, still wanting to know what happened, so Kai told him without looking at him as he felt his cheeks heat up.

"He… he hugged me…" Baekhyun was about to interfere if Kai didn't continue about what happened "I fought with my girlfriend that day and he was there in the corridor and heard the fight, he didn't know me except from the soccer practice but I fought with her and I tried to release my anger when he said 'You can't destroy school properties' and I know that but I was so angry and I didn't want to cry and he told me he has a quick solution if I didn't mind and he hugged me for 10 minutes, he didn't loosen his hands for a second"

"Yeah," Baekhyun had a soft smile on him "That sounds like him" that's what he likes about him, his whole being is the closest he's seen to perfection… the guy that used to be his. He looked down and said with regret "We let him go"

"Maybe both of us is unworthy of him?" Kai wondered, even when he was waiting for another hug that past 3 years, he want to feel again that 10 minutes where he forgot everything about the world and became free.

"I'm going…" Baekhyun decided, "Just send me a text if he go out ok"

"You won’t wait for him?" Kai looked at the guy stand up in front of him.

"I can't let go of him Kai, it's better if I don't see him" and he left without waiting for his replay.

Unlike other nights, this night had cold wind, he left the hospital grounds and headed to the closest bus station, calling Yunho to pick him up was out of question, he couldn't even call him to ask what has happened when he sent him a text saying he just came back from his father house. The wind blew his hair away as he watched his steps wondering what made him go there from the first place. His mind was so busy he didn't feel the cold, he took out his cellphone and dialed Chanyeol's number.

"The number you're trying to reach is out of service…" he hang up, "Maybe it ran out of battery" he had no other contacts of him, not his house or the three friends of his, his house is close from where he is now though; but what if he doesn't want to see him?

He sighed when his stomach growled, he looked up wondering what he should eat for the night when he saw him coming down from the bus.

"You found me" he said, and smiled, when Chanyeol came closer to him, he was surprised by the sudden hug from Baekhyun, and before he speaks any word, the little guy started crying. So, he hugged him back, and let him cry.

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10:00 p.m. Kris said goodbye to his friends as he left the car and went to his house quietly.

"I'm home" he said, as soon as he entered and he was confronted by his dad.

"Where have you been all this time, you have college tomorrow" he said, still in his working suite, hands on his waist, waiting for an answer.

"I needed to take care of few things, I promise it won't happen again"

"Things, hah!" his father questioned, but didn't say more "You want dinner? I just cooked…" he stopped when Kris passed him to go up the stairs.

"No, thanks, I'm not hungry" he looked at him till he heard his bedroom door closes and wondered what's this thing that is occupying Kris mind that he can't make an appropriate communication with his only parent.

He gave a huge sigh, and fell on his bed dumbfounded by what happened today, maybe if he kept his meeting with Chanyeol yesterday a secret, he wouldn't be kicked out of the group now. Their enemy is Baekhyun, so, how in hell did Chanyeol fall a victim?

[Flashback]

He was waiting for Chanyeol to come to him, it's been 20 minutes since he heard the front door opens, if the guy didn't want to meet him; his mom would've come by now to tell him so. If his friends did not insist of paying him a visit he wouldn't come from the first place after what happened between the two at college. He's been horrible to Chanyeol and he admits it now, and the last thing he knows about himself is that he doesn't have homophobia.

He stood up, and looked around the empty living room, regretting the fact that he had to come from the first place. The only reason Chanyeol hasn't contacted him since is because he doesn't want to, and then, here he is imposing at his house for. He sighed, he held a lot in his chest remembering all what Chanyeol has done for him, he was sweet and he was generous and the least he had to be for him is an , but he was and he can't find a way to apologize no more. So, he turned to leave the house.

"Chanyeol!" he looked at him standing at the door and he wondered "Where you standing here the whole time?"

"Maybe…" he chuckled, apparently nervous as he hesitated to come in "I mean yes…" he passed the sofa and sat on the one across from Kris "I didn't know how to face you after what I told you last time, I'm really sorry" Kris sat down again, he was embarrassed to hear the words 'I'm sorry from Chanyeol when he was supposed to be the one saying it.

Don't apologize, I was an to you, I do remember you now and I should've paid more attention to not forget you from the first place. I'm sorry, we haven't been any kind of friends but we've been together for a long time and you're still with me and I appreciate it so much and I'm ready to make it up to you and give us the chance to be best friends. He thought

"I came out of nowhere…" he ended up saying some plain words "Don't apologize for something I started, if it wasn't for me you wouldn't have said anything" Chanyeol shrug, half admitting that what Kris said is true but still replied.

"Well, you never know"

"No, I know…" he told him "I've been followed by a kid all the time in high school who helped me in almost everything, maybe I didn't remember his name, maybe I didn't remember what he looked like but I remember that he is been never a bother to me but the total opposite and I used that to my advantage, so, what you said came out because of me but it's also true, and I apologize for it…" they stayed quite for a second and then Kris spouted again "I'm not the apologetic type like you but you've done a lot for me that I admit everything has a limit so please accept my apologies"

"I never asked for an apology though" Chanyeol looked at the face he admired so long, he put on a weary smile, so sad of how things ended up, but because of that something has happened otherwise it would've stayed the same and he would've lived without letting the person in front of him know his feelings.

I can love two people, he thought, he wasn't sure if his feelings for Baekhyun were real or were because for the first time someone was helping him. And staying beside him and liking him. Because of that guy, Kris now is sitting in his living room asking for forgiveness and the next thing he knew is his eyes producing tears.

"I'm sorry," he apologized again, "I'm just so worked up these days I don't know what to do, I can't make decisions, I can't get something right and things are so slow that it kills me to stay quiet and not get them moving, I shouldn't have left the driver seat in the middle of the road but I seriously had so much in mind" he used his sleeves to wipe the tears after he poured out his heart contents.

He was done, done of everything, he has a life now and he is planning to keep it, not as the slave back in high school but among his friends, he will enjoy his student life at last and he can't ruin it or cry about it.

"Chanyeol…" he heard his name, and the next thing he feels is a pair of lips attached to his, he closed his watery eyes and let the moment sink in. Kris was kissing him, he didn't notice him coming towards him and then kissing him out of nowhere but he let it happen, because that’s what he wanted all this time and he didn't care what Kris reasons for doing this are but he kissed him back and held his hair as he was pushed to the back and felt Kris knee resting against his thigh, and held his waist between his hands to take off his shirt and second after he kisses him even more.

[End flashback]   

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A/N:

Oh my god it's been a long time
I don't know if you remember the fic or you still planning on reading it but honestly
It wasn't till my friend asked me about my aff acount that I came to check it and
I had to read it all again to remember what I wrote before I write this chapter
Enjoy it
and if you're still reading it, I'll try to finish it before my finals :)
pray for me to pass my last sememster there's been an doctor who keeps creating fights with me *^*