“People will forget what you said; people will forget what you did; but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

                                                                                                                                                                -Maya Angelou

Eight months later…

Papers were strewn everywhere. An overflowed garbage can full of papers sat at the corner of the room. Rustles of pen on paper was heard and some grunts on the background. Just as Tomomi looked and read at her latest work, she felt frustrated and crumpled the paper once more before throwing it behind her.

Just as she did, someone came in and was surprised on the incoming paper coming towards her. She let out a yelp but caught the paper in her hands, confused on how come there’s a paper greeting her so suddenly.

She looked around and found the whole room a mess and in the middle of all of it was Tomomi who was busy scribbling again on a new piece of paper. Tomomi gave out a frustrated sigh and scratched whatever she had written there with her pen and looked up the ceiling like she was thinking. The woman who just came in watched curiously on what was Tomomi was doing. She was puzzled that Tomomi didn’t even notice her coming in and just continued on whatever she was doing.

After a few minutes of just staring at the ceiling, Tomomi suddenly brought her hands to her head and started messing with her hair with a frustrated yell.

“Mo!” She bawled out before smacking her head to the table. She let out a cry of pain but she held her head against the table and stayed motionless after.

“Is that a new technique to get your brains working?” The woman asked as she moved towards Tomomi who suddenly sat up straight and looked towards her like she was a ghost.

“Haruna! Don’t sneak on me like that!” Tomomi muttered and held her racing heart against her chest.

“I didn’t sneak up on you. I even got surprised to find a paper greeting me on my way here.” She smirked and sat opposite Tomomi.

Tomomi only frowned but then let her features relaxed and placed her head back to the cold table.

“Sorry. I’m stuck right now.” She told in a muffled voice and started doodling on the piece of paper she was writing on awhile ago.

“It’s okay. I’m stuck on mine too.” Haruna then brought her notebook and her pen out, looking dejectedly at it as she knows she would just be staring at that blank page once more for God knows how long again.

Haruna opened her notebook unenthusiastically and stared at the two phrases she had written the night before.

The phrases only stared back at her annoyingly and she doesn’t even know why she had written those. Like a child, Haruna rolled her eyes from it and started repeating the words like a mantra inside her head. Before Haruna knew it, she was absentmindedly twirling her pen with her thoughts far away from what she was supposed to do. She watched as she skillfully span her pen between her fingers and even does some tricks that she had been practicing for some time now. She felt triumphant as she perfected to do a certain trick and smiled at her own achievement.

“Stop.” Tomomi suddenly held her hand that was spinning the pen with her voice stern. Haruna frowned and was about to ask why when Tomomi answered her question already.

“You remind me of her.” Haruna closed shut at that point and saw the grimace on Tomomi’s face. Haruna knew who she meant right after and remembered how that certain someone would start spinning her pen every time she was thinking on what to write for their lyrics. Haruna got the habit from her and started doing it even before her departure.

With a quick glance on Tomomi’s eyes, Haruna only nodded in understanding and so Tomomi let go of her hand with a sigh escaping her lips. Tomomi then looked back at the paper she was doodling awhile ago and found that it was useless now so she also crumpled that paper like the ones on the floor now and threw the paper behind her again.

“Where’s Rina?” Haruna asked after a few minutes of silence when she realized that their drummer was missing again.

“Late. Or maybe she’s on the rooftop.” Tomomi nonchalantly answered back and went back on writing words that doesn’t even felt right to her.

Haruna nodded her head again and thought about what was making their drummer busy all this time.

After Mami’s press conference, Haruna, Tomomi and Rina have decided to call for a hiatus of the band to recollect and set their priorities after the departure of Mami. It was a tough action and they even announced their disbandment already after a few months of being on hiatus after they’ve found out that they couldn’t pick up from the loss of their lead guitarist.

If it was not from the pleading and support their fans, friends and even their family have given them, they would be all separated now doing different things and left their band life behind.

They’ve withdrawn the announcement a month later and started promoting themselves as a three-woman Japanese rock band.

They’ve done live shows in different television shows and participating on different music festivals but there was only one thing that they haven’t done yet after those long months starting as a three member band which was becoming a problem to the company; they haven’t released even a one single yet.

They did promise to release one but months dragged by and everyone who was waiting for it started to get hopeless. They do try making one but every time they’ve record it or compose a song, they’ve felt something was missing.

Haruna knew what was missing but she couldn’t help it since that missing piece just suddenly vanished without a trace. She looked out for the replacement of that piece but knew that nothing could replace her. Even if Haruna do the lead, there will still be that missing sound that was only she could make.

Haruna was thinking about that when Rina came in with her hands full with bags and papers. Rina let out a breathless greeting at them before pouring her things at the table and slumping on the vacant chair next to Haruna.

Haruna frowned at the mess Rina made. She was already getting tic on the scattered papers on the floor and for Rina to add junk on the room, Haruna felt less and less optimistic.

“Rina, what are these?” She asked as she lifted one of the papers but before she could see the contents, Rina snatched it from her hold and stuffed it on the bag she had brought.

“My masterpiece.” Rina told her and started arranging the papers, which was surprisingly covered to the front with a thin black parcel in every page. Haruna felt curious and even Tomomi stopped from her doodling to look at Rina’s things.

“What kind of masterpiece is that?” Tomomi asked curiously and even craned her neck to take a better look but Rina only hid them.

“Secret. It is not done yet.” Rina muttered and finally putting every piece to her bag.

Once it was safely tucked inside, Rina let out a breath loudly and composed herself before facing Haruna and Tomomi.

“So what are you guys up too?” She asked with a smile on her face and just then that she noticed the strewn papers around the room.

“Trying to write our new single.” Tomomi muttered boringly before placing her chin on her arm resting on the table and started doodling at the paper again.

“Oh.” Rina only said and looked a bit disappointed.

“Well, have you written something?” Haruna asked when Rina didn’t even budged from her seat and just watched as the two tried to write something.

“Nope.” She said happily which kinda gets on Haruna’s nerves.

“And why is that?” She asked with her voice rising at some point.

“Well, it is no use.” Rina only told them before doing an air-drum to the table. Haruna looked at her furiously and even Tomomi looked at her like she had grown three horns on her head suddenly.

“Please, do explain.” Haruna dangerously said to her but Rina only shrugged the threatening tone of hers. Rina sighed and stopped drumming her fingers to the table and looked at Haruna square in the eye.

“If there’s no Mami, there’s no SCANDAL.” Rina said simply but Haruna and Tomomi was taken aback.

“Well, generally speaking, if there’s no Haruna, nor Mami, nor Tomomi, nor Rina, there would be no SCANDAL,” Rina seriously said, “Your words, Haruna, doesn’t only apply on me. It applies on all of us.” The words that Haruna have used before to help Rina were suddenly being brought again but this time, it concerns all of them. Haruna was shocked at the sudden quote but slowly, her lips tugged into a smile as she feels the importance of those words.

“But she chose to disappear on us. It’s been eight months and she didn’t even bother contacting us. We need to move on and the only way to do that is to let go of the past and release a new single.” Tomomi interjected and brought her eyes back to her work. Her forehead was creased and she was pouting, not even thinking the importance of those words. Rina rolled her eyes on her and suddenly grabbed her hands and squeezed it tightly as she could.

“We didn’t try contacting her too and with your words before, do you think she would not feel scared or awkward trying to talk to us?” Rina pointed out which hit Tomomi with the realization instantly. Tomomi grimaced at herself as she remembered the words she told Mami before the press conference and felt guilty at once. Rina saw the conflicted look on Tomomi and she smirked at her.

“Exactly.” She whispered before sitting back on her chair again. “So stop being depress already.” She added and crossed her arms happily around her chest.

“Fine. You’re right.” Tomomi muttered and threw her pen to the table, finally stopping from trying to write. There’s no point on feeling sad on something now and acting like a child in times like this.

“So what’s your plan? I mean, we don’t know where Mami goes and all contacts of hers were gone.” Haruna muttered as she saw the playful smile plastered on Rina’s face as she looked in the air like she was seeing a movie or something.

Haruna frowned immediately when Rina gave her a look like a demented person with a matching knowing grin that Haruna felt like Rina knew something she shouldn’t have.

“You’re the key, Haruna.” Rina giggled and looked at the confused faces of Tomomi and Haruna.

“You know someone who is so close to Mami that even us doesn’t have a contact on that person.”

“I’m…still confused.” Haruna gingerly told her and looked at Tomomi’s direction seeing that she caught on Rina’s plan and started giggling with her. A playful grin was directed on her by Tomomi and she felt left out and scared with her bandmates expression.

“Okay, if you don’t want to tell me, I’m heading out.” She told them and about to stand up but was caught by Rina and held her arm tightly.

“Think carefully,” She said with a glint on her eyes. “A guy close to Mami, older by four years, masculine with a tanned skin, and looks exactly like a boy version of Mami.” Haruna was finally getting what Rina was saying but she didn’t stop there.

“The first time you meet, he made you blushed so hard after announcing that he is a big fan of yours and somehow, during our European tour, you had the means to contact him.” Tomomi leaned closely and stifling her giggles as she looked expectantly on Haruna.

“Okay, I got it, but seriously, what’s with all of this?” Haruna’s face started turning to a shade of red which the two saw making them giggle more.

“I’m curious too. You seem to get close to him after that.” Tomomi teased which earned her a glare but she only shrugged it away and continued teasing her.

“Well, nothing to get embarrassed with, Haru-nee. We just need you to do something and I know you’re more than capable of doing it.” Haruna shivered with the sudden nickname Rina dropped and she doesn’t like it even one bit.

“You just need to call him that’s all and ask where Mami is.” Rina muttered.

“Geez, getting all worked up just for that. You guys are scary! And get off me!” Haruna yelled and pulled her arm off Rina’s hold.

“Hmm…You’re forgetting something, Haru-nee.” Tomomi chimed in and Haruna doesn’t like it.

“Stop with the ‘nee! I don’t like it!” She told them but they’ve pressed on to whatever they were planning.

“Mami surely told her brother not to tell everyone where she is. What’s the point in disappearing out of grid if a person who knew where she is just tells anyone who questioned him?” Tomomi told her and Haruna was getting the point.

“So,” Haruna asked cautiously, not liking what they were thinking, “What now?”

The two giggled and shared a secret thought as they’ve stared at Haruna crazily.

“We’re asking you to use your charm to get to him.” Rina said.

“And we meant womanly charm for that.” Tomomi added.

Haruna’s jaw slacked at what they’ve said and she instantly stood up wide eyed to their suggestion. Her outburst made the two girls fall from their chair instantly and even laughed so loud at the words she said after.

“Are you asking me to seduce Tamotsu for Mami’s location?!”

~*~*~*~

Tomomi and Rina were still laughing hard from Haruna’s outburst even though they were already outside their practice room. Haruna, on the other hand seethed with anger as she glared at the two who wouldn’t stop from teasing her. She was already red from the embarrassment and her face felt a steaming pot already but the two didn’t even care.

“Will you stop already?!” Haruna yelled at the two but they were too busy clutching their stomachs. “If you won’t, then stay there.” Haruna coldly told them before clutching her guitar case and treaded off the hallway.

The two tried their best to catch up and even stop laughing but an amused smile kept its place on their faces.

“Sorry, Haruna. We just couldn’t get over to what you have said.” Rina started and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Yeah, and we didn’t say, seduce him. We said use your womanly charm. No need to seduce.” Tomomi chimed in to make Haruna feel better but all she got was a smack on the head. She yelped but started laughing again when Haruna’s face turned beet red once more. Rina joined her as she remembered the events too well that happened awhile ago.

“You make it sound like that!” Haruna said in defense, now they’ve all paused again in walking. Haruna thought when they will get home at this kind of pace.

She fumed quietly at the sideline as the two laugh even harder but her anger slowly disappeared as she watched the two laughing like there’s no tomorrow. A smile started its way to her lips and a mask of content spread to her face.

Haruna have been watching them since Mami disappeared and it was only now that they have laughed like that after Mami had announced her departure. Every day, she would hope that they return to what they’ve used to be but of course that would be hard. Even she had changed too. It was dreadful, miserable months for her and the girls after all and it was even painful to recount on.

Haruna started shaking her head willing the painful thoughts away from her. No time for mopping. She told herself and thought that today is the day that their band will make a huge leap of faith. She smiled again at the thought and even entertained the thoughts that they will be whole again soon enough.

She was still irritated that Mami didn’t even tried contacting them but she knew that once seeing her again, all of it will disappear. Haruna missed their guitarist terribly and she was not the only one.

The more Haruna think about it, the more her mood improved so she focused her gaze back to her bandmates who were now talking about something that makes them laugh again. Thankfully, it was not Haruna’s embarrassing scene and she felt relieve instantly. Yep. Today is going to be a great day. She told herself and moved towards the laughing girls.

“So Rina,” Haruna interrupted their talk and the two looked up to her instantly, “Why did you suddenly suggest finding Mami? I mean after all these months, why now?” Haruna asked curiously and Tomomi stared at Rina with the same inquiring look on her face.

Rina returned their look but then let out a big sigh before answering, “I’ve been…doing things, and while doing those, I found our videos before. Including the times when we’re just starting.” Rina told them solemnly. Her eyes started getting distant as the said videos started playing in front of her eyes.

“We’re young, energetic, and passionate on what we do. Mami,” She paused, thinking what to say next, “Mami was more.” She told them and the two understand, “She gave me the feeling to strive even harder. To become best on what I do,” She said dreamily with a ghost of a smile on her face, “She was overflowing with confidence and passion.” She added.

“I still can’t believe she would leave like that but I didn’t think about how much I’ve trust her before. Now, I believe she will come back.” Rina told them and a tear escaped her eyes.

“I shouldn’t have said those words to her before. I was hurt but I shouldn’t have.” Tomomi added and felt bad again on what had happened. Haruna saw their saddened face again and she couldn’t bear seeing those again. She was sick looking at them like that for months and that she would not let it come back again so she grabbed their shoulders and pulled her towards her and smiled widely at them.

“Well, we need to catch up for her. I mean, I should’ve done something too but that was all in the past. Though we can’t go back and change it, we could still start now and make a brand-new ending. Our happy ending.” She told them and it lifted their mood.

Haruna paused and let out a sigh not sure if it was a good idea to say the next words she was about to say, “So I guess it’s time to meet up with Tamotsu-san and use my womanly charm,” She said, “If I have any.” She added softly and felt the two stifling another round of laughter.

“Think fast, Haruna.” Rina suddenly said mischievously and nudged on Tomo’s arm to look at the direction she was looking.

“Ooh, speaking of the devil,” Tomomi giggled, “Remember, Haruna. Womanly charms, not seduce.” She said before moving out of Haruna’s arm.

“What-“ Haruna started but when she saw who was walking towards them, her jaw slackened and stared wide eyed.

“Already?!” She whispered but with a raised tone. She panicked and started composing herself but when Tamotsu neared them, her face was still beet red.

“Hello.” Tamotsu greeted them and gave a small smile in each one of them.

“Sasazaki-san! It’s been a long time.” Tomomi greeted and gave him a warm smile.

“Yes. It has been.” Tamotsu absentmindedly thought as his eyes landed on Haruna. He nodded at her for recognition and Haruna returned it, a bit reluctant. The two saw it and they’ve started giggling again before speaking up, “Will leave you two alone. It seems like you’ll be discussing something serious.” Rina said and was about to move when Tamotsu stopped her.

“No. I…I think you three should hear this.” Tamotsu wearily said but Rina and Tomomi were busy with their own world to notice it. Haruna had noticed it though.

“No, we insist. We’ll just stand over there so if you need anything, you can just call us out.” Tomomi told him and started dragging Rina to the furthest side of the hall. Haruna glared at the two but then focus her eyes to Tamotsu.

It was only then that she noticed that he grew thin. Dark circles outlined at the bottom of his eyes and his eyes were tired and something Haruna couldn’t put on.

“Are you okay, Tamotsu-san?” She asked before she could think and that caught Tamotsu’s attention. Haruna observed that he was thinking deeply and was not really paying attention to her awhile ago.

“Sorry…I was only thinking.” He said and looked at her once more.

“So, what is it that you have to tell me? Or us?” Haruna corrected herself when she remembered what he said.

“I should have told you earlier, but she stopped me,” Tamotsu started mumbling and brought his hands to his hair, messing it on process. His hair was a thick, black-jet of a bunch on his head and it stick to the side as he ran his hands to it. That caught Haruna’s attention. She remembered Tamotsu being in the army, but why does his hair not cut as per the army’s standard. Her frown got deeper and waited for Tamotsu to say something but he just kept mumbling to himself.

“Tamotsu-san, what’s wrong? Who stopped you from telling me something?” Haruna cut his own thoughts and Tamotsu once again remembered that he was talking to her.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly and composed himself once more.

“It’s okay. Please, tell me what is it that you need to tell me.” Haruna’s voice somehow shook at the last word. Tamotsu was making her nervous already and she doesn’t like that feeling.

Tamotsu let out a breath he was holding and started talking. Haruna saw his lips move, heard the words he had said, and processed those words on her head but she felt that it was unreal. She can’t, she wouldn’t believe what he had just said but his voice rang the truth of it. She started to shiver and tears started to gather in her eyes. She shook her head in defiance to what Tamotsu had said and Tamotsu saw it.

“No…” She let out softly, only if it was not quiet at that point, Tamotsu would not hear it. He looked at her painfully and slowly shook his head, telling her that she guessed wrong. She slowly backed away from him and she didn’t even notice that her arms loosened dropping her bag and her guitar on the process.

The loud clatter caught the attention of Rina and Tomomi so they’ve both looked at Haruna who was slowly backing out of Tamotsu with an astounded look on her face. The two got worried on what was happening so they’ve got closer to ask what happened but then, they’ve broke into a run when out of nowhere, Haruna’s knees gave up on her and she fall into the floor.

Tamotsu was quick enough to catch her. By the time Rina and Tomomi were on their side, Haruna’s face was already stricken with terror and pain and she buried it on Tamotsu’s shoulder.

“Haruna?! Are you okay?” Tomomi asked in concern and looked around her body to see if she was hurt anywhere.

“What happened? Talk to us!” Rina worriedly said and clutched Haruna’s shoulder, trying to look at her face but she buried it even deeper on Tamotsu’s shoulder. She was crying hysterically. It was a first for Tomomi and Rina since Haruna always keep a tough front. She never cried in anything. Not even when Mami left. But to see her being hysteric right now, it would mean that it was a really bad thing.

Rina then moved her gaze to Tamotsu whose face was contorted; tears were also falling from his eyes. He cried with Haruna and held her tighter, not only trying to comfort her but also because he felt the need to hold on to someone too.

“Tamotsu, w-what is it?” Rina asked cautiously and Tomomi looked alarmingly at Tamotsu too.

“What made Haruna cry like this?” Tomomi added, nervous on what he was about to say.

It took a minute for Tamotsu to compose himself and a several clearing of throat before he could speak again.

“It’s Mami,” He said in a raspy, painful voice. The two looked nervously at him, feeling the tension and all the energy it was taking him to say the next words.

“…She…She’s dying.”

He said simply before his voice cracked and was unable to speak again.

Rina and Tomomi sat there, paralyzed, unable to speak or even move. They’ve stared blankly at Tamotsu, still trying to digest his words but once it did, tears started flowing on their eyes without them knowing.

She’s dying.

Haruna repeated his words again and again inside her head.

This day was supposed to be a great day. A day where their band will make a huge leap of faith.

Then why did it turned to be the start of their ending days?