Chapter 3

“To the outside world, we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time.”

                                                                                                                                                                                 - Clara Ortega

Mami was already dozing off as soon as she rode the car Naoki was driving. They’ve just came back from their World Tour that took almost three months to complete and now she was completely exhausted and ready to sleep the daylights out of her for a week. Unfortunately, her week was already planned out and she needs all the rest she could get starting now for the toughest week she will be facing.

Naoki dropped her off in front of the gate and was about to get out of the car to help Mami with the luggage but was only interrupted when Mami stopped her.

“Naoki, I can handle this. You go ahead and go home. I know you’re tired too. You deserve some rest.” Mami softly told to her and she could clearly see the appreciated look washed all over Naoki’s face at the mention of the word, rest.

“Thank you. I’m rather beat already. Rest well too, Mami.” The woman was about to say something more but only quivered. She stopped and cleared that seemed to suddenly itch.

Mami knew what she was about to say but she chose not to comment about it. Instead, she gave her a warm smile before sending her on her way home.  “Sure. Be careful on your driving, okay?” She answered back and started to haul her lightweight suitcase and guitar out of the car with relative ease.

Naoki sounded the horn twice to Mami before completely driving her car to the street and out of Mami’s eyes. She stared into the empty street for awhile, knowing that she will miss these times. She let out a sigh before she started dragging her luggage into her apartment. Her eyes were cast down as she watched her step into the stairs to the door.

“Need help with that, Mami?” A familiar voice called out to her surprising her in the process. She jerked her head up only to see a tall, muscular guy smiling widely at her. Mami jaw dropped in disbelief and let out a sharp breath.

“Hello Mami. It’s been a long time.” The guy muttered, with amusement on his voice.

Finally breaking from her trance, Mami hurriedly pulled her suitcase with her and dropped her guitar to side before throwing herself to the guy, giving him a tight hug. “Nii-san!” She said right to his ears that made him wince at the sudden loud sound. He only tapped Mami’s hair and back as he returned the hug his sister gave him.

“You seem well.” He whispered to her and that’s when she let go and looked at her brother. She looked at him from head to toe and she couldn’t still believe that her brother was just right in front of her.

“It is really you! Wow, the sun really burnt you.” She muttered as she noted that his skin got darker than she had remembered.

“Nice to see you too, Mami and yes. I think I’ve just got my entire share of the sun’s rays for a lifetime.” He teasingly said to her. “Oh, sorry. Where are my manners. It’s good to see you too, bro.” Mami chuckled.

“How long have you been out here?” Mami suddenly asked as she realized how cold her brother’s hands were. He only shrugged and gave her his toothy grin before answering. “Just a couple of minutes.”

“I don’t think so. You’ve waited for me for hours, didn’t you? Oh why didn’t you call me sooner?” Mami angrily told him and he was about to answer back when she suddenly dug into her pockets and took a set of keys before shoving it to the door of her apartment.

“Let’s get inside now before you freeze your out.” She blatantly said that made her brother laugh at her words.

“Who’s the older one here again?” He asked, amused on his sister’s reaction.

“I think our parents made a mistake on who should have come out first. Seriously, why is it that I feel I’m always looking out for you?” Mami started ranting but her brother knew that she was only joking.

“Hai, hai. Maybe I should start calling you Nee-chan.” He said, grinning up to her, lifting his eyebrow in the process. Mami smacked him right on the head and he yelped in pain.

“Just get inside here and I’ll make you some hot tea. Oh and uhm can you grab my guitar for me?” Mami told him. Still rubbing where she hit him, he still complied and took the guitar with him. “You know, you are one violent woman. Did I raise you like that?” He added before going inside the apartment.

“First of all, you didn’t raise me. Mom and Dad did. Second, who was so childish enough when we were kids that he played with his little sister with wrestling?” His brother lift his hands right and there in defense and only chuckled once more. “I give up. You win.” He said. Mami rolled her eyes but she gave a small laugh before letting his brother in the apartment.

Once inside, Mami left her suitcase against the wall of her living room and she made her way straight to the kitchen.

“Make yourself comfortable. I’ll just make some tea.” She called out to him before vanishing into the room.

Sasazaki Tamotsu, Mami’s older brother by four years, was silently studying his sister’s living room with interest. The room was neat and comfy with the plush couch, a soft carpet and a table in the middle of the room. He stood for a moment before moving his eyes to the small stand containing framed pictures and figurines. He moved closer to study the pictures and saw that it contains mostly Mami and her bandmates. He held one of the frames and looked at the smiling faces in the picture. He smiled too seeing his sister happy in that photo.

“If you’re gawking at Haruna’s picture again, I swear I’m going to throw you out.” Mami warningly said to him before setting two cups of tea on the table. Tamotsu couldn’t believe what she said but he only smirked before joining Mami on the couch with her tea in her hand.

“You know me too well, Mami.” He said, taking his cup of tea from the table and enjoying the warmth it provides on his cold hands.

“And don’t you even think of asking me again to meet her. It is freaky.” Mami shivered at the thought and remembered the first time she brought her brother to meet her bandmates. It was still unknown to her that he is a big fan of Haruna. He took out a paper and a pen back then and immediately walked to Haruna, asking for an autograph, and possibly a photo together. Mami saw the surprised face on Haruna and the way she blushed so hard because she was not expecting it especially coming from her friend’s brother. Mami was so horrified with his brother’s action and wished for the ground to swallow her up then to save her from the embarrassment. The other girls though, found it entertaining back then.

Tamotsu began laughing so hard that the room was filled with his laughter as he watched Mami’s expression twisted, knowing what made it show. “Don’t worry. I won’t and I’ve already told you before, I was overwhelmed back then and moved without me thinking ahead.” He explained but Mami only stuck her tongue out to him.

“Now look who’s being childish.” Tamotsu said between laughters. Mami fumed for a bit more  but she didn’t retort back. A few minutes of silence took over between them as they enjoyed the taste and warmth of the tea.

“So…Nii-san, how are you?” Mami started and looked at her brother expectantly, forgetting the previous conversation.

“I’m doing quite fine. The military gave me a vacation leave for now. I was back in Tokyo yesterday.” He said before moving his gaze back to his steaming cup of tea.

“Cool then! It’s been a long time since we’ve seen you. Have you visited mom and dad yet?” Mami asked.

“Yes. Actually, I’ve came from our house before heading here. They told me to tell you to visit them sometimes when you’re not busy.” He sipped his tea then and felt the warmth settling on his throat.

“Sure. I’m just been super busy this year that left me with no time in other things.” Mami let out a big sigh which caught her brother’s attention. He eyed her in confusion but Mami was staring quietly on her hands and didn’t see the questioning look of Tamotsu.

“You okay?” Tamotusu asked, sensing the sudden drop of Mami’s mood. Mami looked at him with a daze and was confused on the sudden question until it finally hit her.

“Oh. Of course. I’m fine. Just tired.” She muttered.

“Then we continue our talk for tomorrow. I’m a tad tired too from the long trip. You wouldn’t mind me staying here for the night, do you?” He asked her.

“Of course, you can stay here. I don’t expect you to go back to Osaka this late. I have a spare room upstairs. I’ll lead you there.” She said before standing up and taking the now-empty cups to the sink. Tamotsu followed his sister upstairs and stopped on a door at the end of the hallway.

“There’s my room.” Mami pointed on the door near the stairs and he nodded in recognition and followed her sister’s hand as she pointed the bathroom before she opened the room where he was supposed to sleep.

“And you can stay here. Sorry if it’s a bit dusty. No one’s using it except when the girls or our parents came to visit.” She said. Tamotsu walked in to the room and found everything pleasing to the eye.

“It’s okay. I think this room is beautiful.” He told her and she only smiled. “Well then, goodnight, bro. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She said and was about to leave when Tamotsu called out again.

“Actually, Mami…” He started and stopped in the middle of his sentence. Mami looked at his brother, waiting what will he said but she only met silence. She also saw the conflicted look on his brother as he stares at her seriously. It seems like he wants to say something but he just stood there silently with a stern  look that Mami only sees when he’s serious.

After a few seconds of silence, his frown turned into a smile and the furrows between his brows smoothed out in an instant.

“I’m just happy to see you again.” He said to her.

“Okay. I’m glad that you visited me too.” Mami answered back but there’s something nagging her that that was not he was meant to say awhile ago. Feeling so drained already, she let it slipped and went straight to her room. She barely managed to wash up and changed her clothes before collapsing on her bed. Within minutes, she was soundly asleep and oblivious of the world.

Back to the spare room where his brother was staying, he was sitting on the edge of the bed, wearily looking at the letter that alarmed him to go back to Tokyo as soon as possible. Although his mother and father mentioned their concerns about his sister, he could never have thought that it was much worse than what they have been suspecting.

The letter came from someone he never expected to write to him and was startled with the news it brought.  Before he knew it, he was already at the door of his commanding officer and was asking for his accumulated leave so he could address the problem immediately. The commanding officer didn’t approve at first especially that he was asking for an indefinite time of leave but gave it to him in the end after considering his contribution to the military. Tamotsu thanked him for granting it and hurriedly packed his bag and left his so-called home for the past six years before the commanding officer could change his mind.

He hasn’t slept well ever since he had read the letter. He opened it again and looked at the neat penmanship of the writer before reading it back again for a hundred times but each time, he couldn’t figure out how this one had happened.

Sasazaki-san,

                I’m terribly sorry if I write to you bringing dreadful news. I know that this is my first time to write to you but I find it very necessary. Right now, I’m still in shock on what have Mami announced right after our concert in the west. She was quiet and deep in thoughts for the past weeks of our tour and it started when we are interviewed back in Japan before we left four our world tour. I don’t know what triggered it but I know that you might be the last one to convince her from stopping what she was planning. I would like to give you a glimpse first on what was happening so you could understand our predicament right now.

                Every after our live performances, we talk to each other and point out some things that needs improving. It helped us a lot through our career and so it became a tradition but this time, it seems not helping. We were talking about Mami’s missed notes being constantly happening during our performances and she would just agree to our statement and promised to do better the next time but it just gotten worst.

                In the end, Rina, being the most forward and speaking whatever was on her mind, finally lost it even before we could reach our dressing room. Mami, on that night, was so indifferent on stage. It’s like all the energy was seeped out of her. We three made it to the point to liven up the whole performance in double effort to masked Mami’s indifference.

                Sadly, some of the media caught the outburst of Rina and wrote something about it the next day. I think you have read it somewhere already. Eisuke tried to pacified everything including the growing gap between Rina and Mami and, I’m afraid to say this, between Tomomi and Mami. I would write about what happened to those two but time was pressed on me.

                 As a leader, I find myself a failure for not being able to do something about this. I tried to reach out to her but it seems like she was lost in her own thoughts and didn’t let anyone help her.

                Then her announcement came. Out of the blue during our band meeting, she let it out like a slap in our faces. She decided to leave the band. Something about connection to the band has made her realize to leave but I didn’t hear her fully since my mind back then was in a state of shock and completely blanked. I’m aware that there’s something wrong about her but never in my wildest dream would she say that! We talked to her, persuaded her to think it over but she only said that she already made up her mind and was planning to depart right after our world tour.

                You are her beloved brother and she looks up to you more than you know. You know her more than we knew her because up until now, she’s as mysterious as ever. She love playing her guitar and it is something she cannot live without as she said before. But what is this now? I’m sorry, I’m truly confused and shaking. I’m imploring you, please…help us. It’s too early for us to separate ways .I know we can fix the gap between our members but leaving is not the answer to the growing gap. SCANDAL will never be SCANDAL without her.

                I hope for your response as soon as you can.

Yours truly,

Ono Haruna 

Whatever came to his sister’s mind to suddenly quit, he doesn’t know. All he could think of right now is how to make Mami talked to him about that. Like what has Haruna said, he knows how much Mami loved being in the band and playing her guitar. There must be some good reason why she was quitting. And he will not just sit there, watching her beloved sister destroy what she have loved and cherished all these years.