Chapter 2

“The brightest flames cast the darkest shadows…”

“ARE YOU HAVING FUN, AUSTRALIA?”

Mami could feel the stadium shake when the people responded to the vocalist’s question. The vibration was too much for her and felt her ears were going to burst with the crowds shouting. She heard the vocalist hearty laugh and her heavy breathing too as the crowd started to quiet down.

“Good! I like your energy very much and it’s just the second half of our concert. Right, guys?” She said and asked her bandmates. Mami could imagine that they’ve nodded in agreement with her.

“Well, since you guys and gals are such an awesome crowd today, I’ve brought someone with me that I’m sure you’ll really like.” The crowd started shouting again at the vocalist’s words.

“Aaannnd….” She paused letting the crowd to be on the edge of their sit.

“She’s gonna help us on our next song!” She yelled and the stadium shook in excitement again.

As if on cue, a staff came to Mami and reminded what she had been rehearsing for this past few days.

“Mami, just like we’ve always rehearsed. This thing will shoot fast so be quick on your feet, okay?” The staff told her. She nodded in agreement and held her guitar close to her body. She saw the staff looked at his watch and gave her a reassuring smile before telling her the remaining time before she comes out.

“1 minute. Good luck out there!” He said before disappearing from the back of the wall. Mami breathed in and out to calm the nerves that were starting to act up. She was doing just fine until she heard the soft guitar playing above her. The crowd knew the song and responded with a resounding shout of delight at the band.

“ARE YOU READY?” The vocalist teased and the crowd shouted their hearts out. “Here we go!” She said and Mami could imagine the stage darkened and fog covering it right now.

She heard the band started the song with a soft tune; doing some plucking and one note bass playing while the drummer only hitting the chimes on the right places of the song. The crowd started to quiet down again and knew what was coming next when the vocalist started humming with the band. As the seconds passed, they’ve started building up the song which leads to more power chords and heavy strumming while the drummer kept a steady beat on the bass drum.

She saw the staff in front of her raised his hand, letting her know that she needs to get ready. She knows her part already and where she will come in but this is still a crucial one. On top of her, she could finally hear clearly the sound that the band was making as the top opened up.

Yep. I like this kind of entrance a lot. She smirked, knowing what will happen next.

“On three, Mami.” Someone spoke on her earpiece and she nodded, letting them know that she was ready.

She counted mentally and as the platform raised and shoots her out of the bottom stage, she jumped up, giving the illusion of flying out from the bottom of the stage and the crowd was more than pleased to see who was the band’s special guest. The band paused abruptly and introduced her with all the energy they could muster.

“GIVE IT UP TO MAMI SASAZAKI!” The orange-haired vocalist yelled and pointed at Mami.

She then raised her left hand as a response to their warm welcome and once she brought it down to hit her strings, the band followed and they’ve started playing their instruments loud and hard.

She started her intro with a tapping and followed by a high level riff which amazed not only the crowd but the band itself and the staff around them. Adrenaline seeped in Mami’s entire body and she let it all out in that song.

But before she knew it, it was already over and the crowd was cheering so much. Some of them were chanting her name and some was chanting the band’s name.

“As expected of the only girl who was able to rank in Guitar World’s Hottest Guitarists!” The vocalist complemented and motioned for her to come near her. She did, still breathing heavily with her performance and bowed to her and to the crowd before the vocalist wrapped her arms to her shoulders.

“Thank you, Hayley-san.” Mami said through the microphone and the crowd started quieting down sensing that the two will talk for a moment.

“That was just….wow…You blew my mind, girl!” Hayley Williams said to her and patted Mami’s shoulder showing how much she admired her guitar skills. Mami let out a shy smile and thanked Hailey for her words.

“Thank you. It’s an honor to be a guest on your show.” She said in English with a heavy accent but the band and the crowd still understood her.

“You’re always welcome to jam with us, Mami. Right, boys?” Hayley winked at her bandmates and they’ve let out a hoot for an answer.

“I’m glad and I would look forward to jam with you guys again in the near future.” Mami answered back.

“And thank you to all the people here in Allphones Arena for having me here tonight! I’ll see you in a few months with my band so look forward to that!” Mami told them and the crowd just cheered hard.

She gave a last bow to them and to the band before exiting the stage still bathing with the bright lights pointing at her.

“You heard that people! I think I’ll be sitting on one of those chairs by that time.” Hayley pointed out far to the crowd and the crowd gone wild.

“But that’s for the next months to come. Right now, Paramore’s here to rock your night!” The air was filled with the screaming fans for a moment and Mami could just hear was the resounding chanting of Paramore’s name. After that, the band played another song and the screaming was drowned out with the sound.

“That was fantastic, Mami!”

“Superb! “

“You had my heart out there!”

The staff gathered around her and gave her encouraging pats on the back and thumbs up as she made her way to her dressing room. She thanked them and even entertained some of them who asked for her autograph and picture.

Once she got to her dressing room, she collapsed on the chair provided there and let herself take huge deep breaths. She laid her head to her hands and stayed that way for a couple of minutes until someone knocked on her door and came in without waiting for her reply.

“Are you okay, Mami?” She heard a female voice speaking in Japanese and she looked up to see who it was.

“Yeah. Just a little out of breath.” Mami gave her a weak smile before taking the ice pack that the woman was offering her. She mumbled thanks to her before putting it on her aching shoulder.

“You know, you should ask a doctor about your shoulder. You’ve been having shoulder pains almost all your shows. That’s not normal.” The girl then started busying herself by putting all Mami’s things to a bag. She arranged the make-up kits and the clothes and towels strewn around the room into a bag.

“Naoki, it’s fine. If I really can’t bear it, that’s when I’ll go to a doctor.” She said and lean her head to the back of her chair, her breathing finally even.

“Yeah right! And do you want the other girls to kill me if they’ve learned you got sick because I can’t take care of you?” Naoki suddenly said in an outburst and looked at Mami furiously. Mami only chuckled at her flare-up but then again she understands her worry.

“They will never do that, Naoki and besides, it’s my decision. You’re taking care of me just fine.” She gave her a genuine smile and she saw that Naoki’s anger slowly disappearing. Naoki only closed her eyes and shook her head before going back to what she was doing before.

“Okay. Well, we need to go as soon as we can. We don’t want to miss our flight.” She said and before Mami could reply, she was out of the door with some of the bags in tow.

Mami then stood up from her sit, took a stretch on her shoulder and started to pack her guitar and her other things too. She changed her clothes into a casual one and waited for her personal manager to come for her.

It’s been a year since I’ve met Naoki. She thought and she was grateful to her since she knew everything what she needed even if she don’t ask it. Just like when she handed the ice pack right now.

After she was able to grab a spot on Guitar World’s poll, everything became chaotic and there’s an increase of their demand in just one night. Eisuke’s phone was ringing non-stop just to have an interview with her and after that, people around the world started asking to become their guests, either in a concert, TV shows, and even on an opening of some famous music museum in Las Vegas. Being like that, Eisuke, the management and the girls have decided to debut as an international band.

Everything happened so fast after that. The girls gained their each personal manager since they’ve started doing solo projects just to accommodate their high demand. In this case, Mami was on her third country this month to participate on Paramore’s tour as a special guest. She made an appearance too on New Zealand, hosting a music awards there. The girls started learning English and could converse in its basic form but they’ve made sure that their managers have good English communication skills so that if there’s a need for translation, their managers could do it.

“Let’s go.” Naoki snapped her from her thoughts and Mami nodded in response. She grabbed her bag and her guitar with her and followed Naoki outside the hallway. They’ve said goodbyes to the staff and to the management and just asked them to say goodbye to the band itself. They’ve agreed and even escorted them to their car.

After an hour or so, they’ve reached the airport and a matter of minutes, Mami found herself sitting in the posh chair of the airplane with Naoki on her side. She started looking at her notebook which contains Mami’s schedule and about to rant away where will they go next and what time they should be there when she noticed the tired look on Mami’s face. Naoki put down her notebook and touched Mami’s shoulder lightly which made her look into her eyes.

“Get some sleep, Mami. You need it. Besides, it’s going to be a long trip.” She smiled and Mami gratefully do what she said.

“Thanks. I’ll talk to you later then.” She said before pulling a pillow and placing it on her head. She slept right away and all the events that had happened were completely forgotten.

~`~`~`~`~

Mami opened her eyes abruptly. She was lying across her bed with her heart pounding like crazy and she was drenched with sweat.

What a nightmare!

She never did remember what she had dreamt but she knew that it made her decide not to sleep again. A feeling of suffocation over took her and the first thing she did upon waking up is to take a deep sharp breath. She sat up from her bed and pressed her hands to her forehead and wiped the beads of sweat that have formed there.

Deciding that it was nothing, she crossed her room and into the bathroom to take a long bath. The warm shower calmed her and she forgot about her nightmare once she was finished taking a bath. It took her about forty five minutes in the shower and once she came back to her room with a towel wrapped around her body, she went over her closet and started rummaging it, assessing what clothes she will be wearing that day. After a few minutes of shuffling her clothes, her eyes came across with a loose, half-sleeved, sheer-back woven popover shirt. She took it out and paired it with dark wash jeans. The weather was still cold so she also decided to put on some cardigan. She put on a simple make up before wearing her glasses, not bothering to put on her contact lenses. She finished her outfit with a pair of vintage Dr. Martens’ boots.

She looked at her reflection and felt happy about her look. She went over to her bed and took her bag with one swift movement. She went to the other side of the room and took her guitar from its rack. She grabbed a bread from her refrigerator and a melon juice before she heard a knock on her apartment.

“Coming!” She shouted and stuffed the bread on . When she opened it, she saw Naoki waiting for her.

“You ready?” She asked and Mami only nodded with still full with bread. She went down and saw the car waiting for her and she went inside it.

After a thirty minute drive, they’ve reached Tower Records. Mami looked over the building and saw the gigantic posters of their new single advertisement hanging outside the building. It was taken a month ago before she and her bandmates separated ways to go to different countries. “Cool.” She said looking at the blank stares the posters where giving them.

The car turned into a corner and headed to an underground parking lot that was only for the artists, employees and special visitors of the company. Once the driver flashed his ID to the security guard, he opened the way for them and tips his cap to Mami and greeted them.

Once inside the parking lot, Mami pulled out her scarf and wrapped it around her neck before partially covering her face. The car stopped and Naoki opened the door letting Mami out. They’ve said their thanks to the driver and headed straight away inside the building. They’ve made their way to the elevator and into the floor which contains the studio.

Mami listened to Naoki while she gave her the full details of her schedule that day. She only nodded in acknowledgement and step out of the elevator once they’ve reached their destination. Before she could even step inside the room of the studio, a shadow caught her eyes and before she could turn her head, a mass figure threw herself to her and gave Mami a bear hug.

“Mami! I’ve missed you so much!” Mami tried to balance her weight and her assailant as much as she can. She knew who it was instantly after hearing that chipmunky voice of hers.

“Tomomi. I missed you too but please, you’re heavy!” She joked but Tomomi finally released her.

“Sorry. I was just so excited! How’s Australia?” She asked while they’ve made their way to the room.

“Cozy oh and the arena? I just have no words how awesome it was.” She told her with a smile on her face.

“How was it jamming with Paramore?” Someone suddenly asked inside the room and she looked at Rina and Haruna already doing their warm ups.

“Rina! Haruna!” Tomomi shouted again and hugged the two like she did to Mami.

“Okay. That’s enough Tomo. We missed you too.” Haruna muttered.

“So how was it?” Mami looked at Rina’s eager eyes as she questioned her.

“Awesome. I was just embarrassed that I’ve missed some notes in the middle of the song.” She frowned and put her guitar to a vacant rack.

“I need to practice more.” She said and opened her case to take her guitar out.

“I’ve watched it and I think it’s not that noticeable. You were expertly able to cover it up.” Haruna said in an encouraging tone. Mami only sighed and then changed the topic asking how the three’s out of the country experience was too.

“I’ve met a lot of people in Poland. They’ve asked us to do a concert there too if we can.” Tomomi energetically said.

“I had a lot of fun in United Kingdom. The drummers that went to the Drum Festival were all talented too! Oh! And the gears! Ugh if only I could buy all of them.” Rina’s eyes twinkle as she told her experience to them.

“I was able to jam with famous singers on Las Vegas’ Hard Rock. Damn, what an experience.” Haruna couldn’t even explain it. Mami only smiled at their conversation while doing some scaling on her guitar. She was glad that her bandmates are enjoying their time. The room started filling up with the usual staff and helped in their gears to work too. Seeing that all of them are almost ready, Haruna gave the signal to start their rehearsals.

“We need to start practicing. Let’s just talk about those later on dinner. World’s tour coming up in a few months now. We need to practice.” Haruna she said and the three agreed to her.

The practice started smoothly with minor changes on some parts. They’ve talked about their intro and what to say on some parts and the next song they should play. But as the rehearsal goes on, Mami noticed that her mood started to dwindle. She was missing a lot of notes and having problems with her riffs. The three also noticed that she started getting irritated and frustrated. After practicing for two hours, Haruna finally decided to call a break to let them rest especially Mami but she continued anyway, ignoring Haruna’s words. The three looked at her, worried and tried to stop her.

“Mami, take a break. You’re pushing yourself too hard.” Haruna told her but Mami only shrugged.

“Wait. I’ll just finish this riff and I’ll take a break after that.” Mami told her and get back to her guitar.

Haruna knew she will do that. They don’t know when did it start but Mami suddenly got too fixated on doing things perfectly. It was a nice at the beginning but it started to become too much that Mami changed a lot.

Haruna moved in front of Mami and held the neck of her guitar stopping her from playing. Mami glared at her with her jaw set like she was about to snap at Haruna.

“You need to rest. You will not be able to function well if you don’t take a break once in awhile.” Haruna told her firmly. Seeing that Haruna’s in her leader mode, Mami reluctantly agreed and placed her guitar to her rack.

“Good!” Haruna smiled and led Mami to where Rina and Tomomi were. Even during their break, Mami was still frustrated and her mind still keeps wandering on the riffs she was practicing. She didn’t even hear the conversation the three was talking about until Tomomi hit the back of her head.

“Hey! Stop doing that! You’re overdoing things.” Tomomi angrily told her.

“Sorry.” Mami only mumbled but nonetheless, her attention was still on the song.

Tomomi only sighed and shook her head knowing that Mami will be on her own world again.

“We finally able to see each other again and now you do this?” Tomomi mumbled but as usual, Mami didn’t hear her. Irritated that Mami’s ignoring them, Tomomi stood up, pushing her chair so hard that it fall with a thud. Mami jerked a bit, surprised on the sudden sound and looked at Tomomi’s retreating figure.

“What happened?” She asked innocently at the two who were still seated on the table. They’ve only looked at her disappointingly and followed Tomomi to the studio.

“Let’s go. No point of resting now.” Haruna told her and she quickly followed.

The atmosphere in the room was so tense that the staff could also feel it. Tomomi’s avoiding Mami’s gaze and Mami still keeps missing some notes. The staff could feel that there’s no harmony on their playing right now and everyone’s seems to be on edge.

“Damn it!” Mami finally let out and hit her forehead with her palm. The other three stop short at her sudden outburst. Mami pinched the bridge of her nose willing the incoming headache to stop. She was already breathing hard and her shoulder’s started aching again.

“J-Just…give me a…moment…” She told them after a couple of minutes.

“No. Rehearsals over for today.” Mami suddenly looked up who suddenly talked and saw Eisuke, who looks older than she could remember, walking towards them.

“Girls, go home for now. We’ll resume the practice tomorrow.” He said in a stern voice and turned his back to them.

“But-“ Mami started but Eisuke stopped her before she could finish her sentence.

“No buts! Go home! You guys need to rest and think about why your rehearsals not working today. No. Not only today, but the rehearsals we’ve been doing for months. I’m so disappointed with you guys.” He said in an angry tone and went out of the room. The four of them kept quiet and didn’t talk for awhile.

Eisuke rarely gets mad and he doesn’t yell at them but right now, he just did. The staff around them started saying things to comfort them but slowly, they made their way out of the room leaving the four alone.

Haruna was the one who broke the silence. “Well, I guess that means we could eat an early dinner. What do you guys think?” She asked and looked at her bandmates.

“I’ll go!” Rina volunteered, trying to help to lighten the mood too, as she moved to where Haruna was standing.

“Tomomi?” Haruna asked and Tomomi only nodded in defeat. Then all eyes went to Mami. Her hands were fisted and her knuckles are already turning white from how tight she was holding it.

“Mami?” Haruna cautiously said and Mami raised her head.

“S-Sure…” She said and gave a weak smile.

“Good then!” Haruna clapped her hands. “Pack your guitars and get your bags. We’re going to eat. My treat!” She said, lightening the mood between them four.

“Oh I so love free food!” Tomomi smilingly said.

“You always love free stuff. Especially food.” Rina commented and they all laugh, including Mami.

“So what? As long as I can eat, I’m happy. Right Mami?” Tomomi asked Mami and the two had that silent communication when they look at each other’s eyes. All was forgiven at that moment. Mami smiled and answered her, “Yes.” And the aura turned to a good one once again.

They’ve started packing up their guitars and chatted, giving a nice atmosphere between them again.

“Mami hurry up! I’m hungry.” Rina said while they wait for her to finish putting her guitar to its case.

“Hai hai.” She boringly said and looked up where they were standing. After closing her guitar case she held the side handles to her right hand and started walking towards them when an unexpected thing happened.

The three girls were still talking about some things but stopped when a loud thud came in to the room. They’ve looked at Mami and saw her shock look, her eyes looking at the guitar case on the floor. The three hurriedly moved to where she was.

“Mami, what happened?” Haruna asked and looked at her hands and to the guitar case on the floor. Then, she pieced it out in an instant.

Mami’s right hand were shaking violently that she suddenly held it with her left hand just to stop it. She seemed shaken and hid her hands away from the eyes of her friends.

“N-Nothing. My guitar just slipped on my grasps.” She said and gave them a tight smile before grabbing her guitar using her left hand and slinging it at her back, putting all the weight on her shoulder. “Let’s go!” She said like nothing happened and walked to the door.

The three look at each other with a worried look for their lead guitarist. Unspoken words seem to transcend between them and they’ve just followed Mami, contemplating what was going on her.

Mami on the other hand had her mind in turmoil. She didn’t know what happened and just felt her guitar case slipped within her grasp. She secretly looked at her right hand, the shaking was finally gone. She let out a sigh, the feeling inside her that she was keeping from everyone was steadily growing and gnawing her very being. She felt helpless.

And everything was crumbling down in an instant.