My heart just broke.. Samchoon's idol crush Ms. Kim Taeyeon isn't available anymore..sigh..oh well,as long as she's happy..who's between you here who felt the same heartbreak as i am from yesterday's news?Hehehe,lets not hate her or the person he chose with any kinds of reason okay?Love happens..Oreo for all of you?Kidding,enjoy chapter 9 which i'm not so confident to post,but here we go ^^

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Amber’s PoV

 

We kissed..

 

We really did kissed. She kissed me first once again like years ago. But this time, I kissed her back. I really kissed her back. And I told her I love her too.

 

I Love her..

 

I do..

 

Some time had long gone after we kissed. We kissed again, we hugged, we whispers love, that’s all we did, and it feels good.

 

No, it feels.. Great..

 

Just like that, and it feels great..

 

How did you do that? How did you make me feel great without much effort?

 

How did you made me feel, complete, just by having you close like this? Holding you tight while you fell asleep above me on this couch?

 

You must be really tired, are you? From crying so much.. Because of me..

 

I hurt you so much did I? That’s all I ever did to you, hurting you, all over again..

 

Why does someone like you have to be in love with someone like me even after I’ve hurt you too much? I kept questioning that ever since the day you told me you love me, all years ago. I thought leaving you and putting aside to hopefully forgetting my feelings for you would be the right decision.

 

It was right, because I could feel less guilty, towards you, and towards her. I know, I’m selfish, am I?

 

Yes, guilty.

 

I felt guilty towards you. I lead you on, unconsciously, or maybe I did it consciously too. I won’t deny being with you made me forgot about her, not even a reminder of my anniversary with her could make my mind stop thinking and wondering about how were you.

 

Only when I got a call from home that she got into an accident I felt all the guilt starts to build in. I felt terribly guilty..

 

To fall in love with you was never on my agenda when I first land my feet in Seoul. To start school, finish it fast and go back home, to her, was what I’ve promised. But you came, I saw you and I forgot about my promise, I forgot about her and all I had in mind was you..

 

My feeling wavered and I got scared when the guilt surrounded me. There was never my intention to hurt both of you, but I eventually did am I? To you especially..

 

Although she never knew, the guilt remained, and I thought only with coming back to her as promised, could lessen the guilt I have for her, and at the same time lessen my guilt I have for you, for giving you hopes, dreams that I couldn’t fulfill no matter how much I wanted to do it.

 

I thought I’ve succeeded. I thought I could finally become the Amber Ally always known once again. I thought less about you, I wondered less about you, I felt less about you. I thought I did well, and I could only hoped that you did well too somewhere.

 

I thought I’ve made the right decision and I’m so keen to make things right, until it doesn’t feel that right anymore when you ignored me, refused to acknowledge me. I was confused, sad, and mad when you were being friendly with someone else when there’s me. I’m selfish, I know. And only then I realized that my feelings for you never gone..

 

Did I make the right decision now Krys? Or did I just repeating things all over again?

 

What should I do now? What am I supposed to do after this?

 

And Ally..

 

What am I going to do with us, me and Ally?

 

“Hey..”

 

End of Amber’s PoV

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Krystal’s PoV

 

Warm, that’s what I felt for the first time when my consciousness starts to get back into me. It feels warm..

 

And when I opened my eyes to see where am I, on who, how did I get here, how did we get to this, I unconsciously smiled. I’m with her, with Amber.

 

I wonder how long did I fell asleep and is she okay with me slumbering on top of her like this, but when I saw her, although she hold me tight, her eyes seems so distant, looking at the slowly darkening skies outside her apartment.

 

What are you thinking Amber? Is it about me? Is it about us? Did you regret us? I can feel my tears starts pooling again on the edge of my eyes thinking about she’ll leave me once again, but I quickly wiped it away. I don’t want to cry again, at least not now, when she still has her arms around me, holding me tight, my back, I don’t want to cry now, when I could be this close to her, listening to her heartbeat, just not now. Because for once, I just want her to be this close with me, no more act.

 

“Hey..” I called her slowly, and she looked at me, smiling.. But there’s something in her smile I couldn’t come up with..yet.

 

“Hey..” she said “Feel better?” I nodded

 

“I’m sorry to fell asleep on you” she chuckled

 

“Its okay” as she put away some strands of my hair, before she kissed my forehead lightly “I hope you had a good nap?”

 

“I did..” the best I ever had “What time is it?” as I slowly raise my body of her and letting her sit while I went looking for my cellphone inside my handbag

 

“Almost 6”

 

“I slept that long?” she just smiled, I slept on her that long and there’s nothing on her back but the couch, and she didn’t complained?

 

“I guess you’re tired” and pat my head before she walked to the kitchen “Kris said something’s up he couldn’t came to bring our lunch, but then you’re sleeping so I thought I’ll just wait for you to wake up then we could order dinner” and return to gave me a glass of water “Drink this first, I’ll check on phonebooks on what we could order, what would you like to have?”

 

This feels natural..

 

With her, me, us like these, this feels so natural I could feel something’s building inside my stomach and I’m sure its another thing but hunger.

 

This feels, surreal..

 

“Krys, what would you like to order?” she asked me with a thick phonebook on her lap while she’s trying to reach her phone on a desk in another end of the couch, which I found amusing seeing her trying hard like that.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Reaching up my phone” she said, unbelievable

 

“You could just wake up for a bit and walk to get it, why would you side crawl on the couch like that?” as I take her phone and gave it to her “Or you could always asked me to get it for you.. Stupid”

 

“Hey, I’m hungry, it’s a common thing that people tend to have less focus when they are hungry”

 

“Whatever” as I emptied the water and put it on the coffee table in front of us

 

“Come sit here and order” she pat the couch spot next to her before start flipping the pages “What would you like to have? Chinese? Korean? Japanese? Italian? Western? Arabian? Woa they got everything here”

 

“And why do you look amazed? You never ordered before?”

 

“Usually just KFC, and its on speed dial in my phone”

 

“And how often did you order KFC to the point that you’ll put their delivery numbers on your speed dials?”

 

She looked at me briefly then mumbled “Often..?”

 

“Seriously?” she just shrugged

 

“Sometime I’m just too lazy to cook and going home to my parent’s house would take too long, so I just ordered what’s available”

 

“And how often you’d be lazy?” I already knew the answer when she didn’t dare to look me in the eyes.

 

“But eating junk food too often isn’t good for your health” again she just shrugged, seriously I really want to knock her head or something for being so stupid but she looks like a little kid who just got caught doing something bad, and its too cute!

 

“Okay you know what? What do you have in your fridge? Not JUST frozen foods and snacks I hope?” as I walked to her kitchen, to her fridge leaving her dumbfounded

 

“No, I don’t think so, but I don’t have much either, just the usual things” she said and she was damn right about she don’t have much in here “What are you doing?”

 

I looked at her in disbelief “Isn’t it obvious? I’m going to make dinner for us” and I don’t understand why would she looked so surprised about it, and it made me realize on something..

 

“Didn’t Ally cooked for you?” suddenly I felt disoriented. Confused, on why am I here? What am I doing here? What exactly are we doing?

 

End of Krystal’s PoV

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Amber’s PoV

 

“Didn’t Ally cook for you?” and instantly the thoughts of Ally in this kitchen filled my mind. She did.. She did cook for me whenever she had time. She tried to mend all the time we’ve missed because of her busy schedules and mine combined. She did it well..

 

But when I looked at Krystal..

 

Am I a cruel person for wanted to put aside the fact that Ally has been a good girlfriend for me throughout all of these years we’ve been together once I looked at Krystal, and finding the fact that she’s here, and I just kissed and confessed to her that I love her?

 

“She did, once in awhile..”

 

“Oh..” maybe I should have lied.. or maybe I shouldn’t..? “What are you going to make?”

 

“Just something simple, I hope you don’t mind having fried stir veggies and a sunny side for dinner, you should start doing a grocery shop you know. That’s all you have in there” as she starts washing some veggies in the sink, with her back facing me and her head hung low.

 

“Want me to help you?” and it cracked me a little when I saw her sad smile

 

“Its okay, you need some rest, go watch tv or something, this won’t take long” did I just made a wrong decision? To confess when I’m still with Ally is surely wrong isn’t it? But why I felt relieved when I told her I love her? Why does it feel so right to have her near? Why is it so right, to have her here?

 

Slowly I walked towards her.. Resting my head on her right shoulder, my right hand on the kitchen stool trapping her in between me and the sink where she washed the vegetables. I could feel her tensed, then relaxed. She just stands there and I just stand behind her, both saying nothing. Only listening to our surroundings, the ticking clock, the soft buzz of the aircon sound, I swear we might could even hear our hearbeats if we tried to listen more.

 

Should I say it? What I have my mind? Should I? But I’m afraid.. I don’t want to lose her, but I really don’t know what to do, how am I going to do this? How am I supposed to say to her that it won’t be easy, things between us, it won’t be easy. This is not just about me and Ally, there’s our family too. Am I ready to disappoint them all? Am I ready to hurt them all? But I don’t want to hurt her more either.. I don’t want to have a guilty feelings when I start new with her, but I think whichever path we’d took, guilt are bound to exist?

 

End of Amber’s PoV

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Krystal’s PoV

 

I can feel her warmth emitting through my back when she came to me and stand behind me. This isn’t a hug because she’s not hugging me, but I don’t know why it feels enough. Is this how its going to be? With her wanting to be with me as much as I want her, but there will always be a gap between us and we can’t do anything but to feel enough? Enough to know that we have each other without we could be together? Can’t I be selfish? Can’t I want her more? Can’t I want her for me only?

 

So I slowly turned around and looked at her eyes. I know she wants me to be with her as much as I do. I don’t doubt her love to me. But I know she’s confused. She’s engaged, yet she fell in love again with someone else not her fiancé. I know it wouldn’t be easy for her to call off years of relationship sacrificing more than just a love story, but also the bond she built throughout all the years with her fiancé, not only as lovers, but also as friends.

 

But can’t I be selfish wanting her to just neglect those all and come to me, hold me and stay with me for good?

 

Can’t I be selfish for wanting her to be only mine?

 

She closed her eyes, exhaled and leaned on my palm when I put it on her cheek and that’s when I heard her whispered “I love you Soojung-ah..” and it hurt..

 

I’m happy, but it hurt, because now I’m not sure if I’ll have enough power to say it to her in the future, I’m afraid to put my hopes high, I’m afraid I wouldn’t have enough courage to act as if I’m okay like all of these years, not after I knew that I’m not the only one who’s in love between us. I can’t..

 

End of Krystal’s PoV

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Amber’s PoV

 

When I opened my eyes, and I saw her frowned face with her eyes closed and a lone tear fell on her cheek, I knew I’ve hurt her once again.. I knew that’s all I can do to her so far, and I kept doing it all over again. Am I being selfish? I do love her..

 

I kissed her tears away, wishing that she’d understand that I never want to see her cry because of me. I don’t want to see her cry over anything anymore. She looked at me and I see it in her eyes how lost she is, how she wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with her, how she could read my confusion and understands it, and how she loves me even if I’m this jerk. She doesn’t deserve this, she deserve more than this..

 

I want to be deserves for her, I want to be the only one who she deserves to be with, and the image of there will be other people who fill the spot next to her hurts me, I can’t imagine it, I don’t want that, I want her to be mine, only mine, and I kissed her. But unlike our previous kisses, its more demanding, out of desperation, its more to show her that I’m here, and I’m the only one who’s allowed to kiss her this way or any other kind of way, that she’s mine and I’m not sharing her to anyone, she’s mine, only mine. And our kiss deepened..

 

I slowly wrapped my arm around her waist, bringing her closer to me just a little more, not even care that it might hurt my other arm. I could feel her hand slowly went to the back of my head, and that was it, I want her, I want her and I don’t care about anything or anyone else.

 

Our lips slightly parted as our kiss gets more demanding each time we kissed until our tongues found each other sending jolts of sparks throughout all of my body, and I still need more, I want more, I tried to kiss her more deeper than I already did and that’s when I know I want to do something else, so I hold her waist more securely around my arm before with one pull I carry her to sit on the kitchen stool while continue kissing her more. She yelped a little from the sudden move I made, which I found both amusing and honestly, arousing. I pulled her again for another kiss and I could feel her fingers run through my hair and I like it, I like how she responds to my kisses and I love her.

 

For a brief moment we stopped, we looked at each other eyes and before I start anything, she already pressed her lips on me as she moves it more intensely and I am not going to stop her, nor I want her to stop. The kisses set a fire inside both of us, somehow I don’t want to stop, not now, and I know I wouldn’t be able to control myself anymore. My hand started to roam around, from her side, move down to her waist, down following the patterns of her skirts and find the edge of it which then I pulled it slowly so I could feel more of her skins, her thighs, and when I let my thumb slowly grazed her inner thigh I hear her moaned, and I want to hear more of that, I moved my lips to start kissing and nibbled her neck until I found a spot that made her moaned a little more and breathe a little more deeper then she already was.

 

But suddenly she pulled away, she looked at me straight, until with her red flushing face and panting breath she stutteringly said “T.. Take me.. Take me, Amber”

 

End of Amber’s PoV

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No One’s PoV

 

She was just done taking shower and now standing in front of the bathroom mirror with only her robe, looking at the reflection of herself. Karma, that’s what she’s been thinking. That everything that happens today must be karma for her. For the thing she’s being kept as a secret from long time ago. Why did she have to keep it a secret? Why did she have to start keeping it in the first place? She couldn’t even understand why. It just happened. Situation happens and now she’s here, keeping a secret, doing things behind her fiancé with another man, their best friend.

 

“Hey, are you okay?” a pair of arms sneaking from behind her, circling her waist, as she felt light kisses on her neck, from him, not her. She didn’t know why she keeps letting these happens when she knew she’s happy enough with her fiancé. She didn’t know why she kept doing these although she knew who she wanted to be ended with, not him.

 

Was she too arrogant? Was she too selfish? Was she too sure that her fiancé would never love her less although she’s doing all of these, with another man, behind her back, ever since her fiancé went to Seoul years ago? What did she really expected when by the end of the day, she found her fiancé, hugging another woman and saying love words to another woman right in front of her eyes? She wanted to screamed at them, she wanted to throw things at her fiancé, calling her cheater, and the other woman, she wanted to hurt her, she wanted to hurt her bad for taking away her fiancé, but who was she to do that? Yes, they engaged, yes, she’s Amber’s fiancé, but if she called Amber a cheater and the other woman, , what makes her then? And she’s scared, she’s scared that karma has finally haunt her, she scared that the secret will soon to be revealed, she’s scared  that she’ll be forced to choose, and she couldn’t, because she know she doesn’t want to lose her, she loves her, she loves Amber, her fiancé.

 

But then, she also couldn’t let him go..

 

And for her selfishness, she’s willing to keep a secret a little bit longer..