I can feel the ending is nearer,kukukukuku..Anyway,got to be honest that somehow,in a weird way,this chapter makes me feel,frustrated?hahahaha,funny isn't it?I wrote this,yet i'm the one who feel frustrated over the whole situations the characters had to face,hahahaha,i'm having a weird nagging feeling in me when i re-read this story,but when i'm finish with this chapter,i feel a little bit more better?And now i'm grinning to myself..okay let's not creeped you all with my weird-self and enjoy chapter 13..Don't hesitate to share your thoughts with me about this,ideas on what should i write next as in new story,although i might have an idea,but its always nice to have more ideas right?Or about basically anything,thank you for the subcribes,upvotes,comments and also comment replies,sorry for grammar errors i'm sure you'd find in every corner of this story,and sorry if this chapter didn't meet your expectations.Last but not least,enjoy.. ^^ 

By the way,this one is pretty much long,so you might need to rest your eyes for a moment while reading it,i've warned you,enjoy ^^

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For several days, Amber couldn’t sleep. She always pretends that she’s asleep, but when Ally’s really in her deep sleep, Amber will spend yet another sleepless night of watching her bedroom ceilings. She also decided to take a several days of office leaves, but prefer to spend it doing nothing around her apartment, worrying that once she stepped out of her apartment, the urge to meet Krystal increased. She just couldn’t meet her yet. Nor she’s sure that Krystal would like to see her face.

 

Usually Ally wouldn’t mind if Amber decided to just stay in and do nothing, agreeing that Amber does need a lot of rest, but today, she’s being exceptionally relentless on dragging Amber out of their apartment.

 

“Can we just eat lunch here? We can cook or order takes out” Amber said still prefer to stay inside, but Ally kept insisting.

 

“We’ve been doing it for more than a week already Amber, please, at least this once, lets get out to grab a lunch, just lunch, then we’ll go back, there’s this place recommended by someone from my recording company and I really wants to try it” Ally whines as she kept pulling Amber’s uninjured arm.

 

“Why don’t you just go with that person if you really want to try it?”

 

“Because I want to go with you!” Ally sulked “Seriously, how hard it is to just go out with me once? Its been awhile right?” now looking at Amber, sadly, but left unnoticed by Amber who’s busy with her own thoughts, as she always been lately.

 

Amber didn’t say anything at first, until she sigh “Okay, fine, just this once. I’ll just go get change, but can you help me putting the ointment for my arm and putting the elastic bandage on?” then walked to their bedroom, leaving Ally looking at Amber’s back still with the same sadness.

 

On another place, spending their lunch time together in a newly opened restaurant downtown, the atmosphere between Kris and Krystal hasn’t really been the same after the arguments between Krystal and Amber. Kris had asked her what did possibly happened that he might missed that made her seems to avoid him every time he tried to be friendly with her. But Krystal said nothing, saying that she’s not avoiding him, she just got more things to do in her hand because with her company’s building almost finished, it means they will be ready to start business together anytime soon. She just needs to prepare everything before it really started. Of course, Kris didn’t really believe it, but letting it slides anyway.

 

Today though, Krystal didn’t seem to avoid him. Even he got a bit taken back when Krystal actually said yes to his offer to have lunch outside of the company building. But he should have known that its going to be different. Its going to be awkward. He just wished Krystal would tell him why because after all, they are supposed to be friends, not only colleagues, just like they’ve agreed on several lunches and dinners few times ago. Yes, they’ve made it clear since long time ago, that they’ll be no more than friends, too bad Amber didn’t know isn’t it?

 

Kris was contemplating whether to ask Krystal again about what’s going on or not when the corner of his eyes caught a sight of two familiar persons for him, walking into the same restaurant where they are in. And his jaw stiffened when he saw how clingy the long brown haired girl to the short black haired girl. He’s now contemplating whether he should make his and Krystal’s presents noticeable or not to the other two, when Ally recognized Krystal.

 

“Oh my god you guys are here too” said Ally, showing her smiles before greeting Krystal and Kris properly with a friendly hug, while Amber standing rooted on the ground not daring to move even an inch closer to where Krystal is, silently praying that Ally would eventually take a seat somewhere “Have you guys been here before? Wait, are you guys okay if we joined your table? Its kind of crowded here”

 

None of the three of them had time to respond when she already called one of the waiter to asked him whether its okay if they just joined the table with another customers, then asked for another chairs when the waiter said okay, and there goes Amber’s prayer when Ally pulled her close to sit next to her, with Krystal on Amber’s left.

 

“So did you guys been here before? I got recommended by my colleagues, and I’ve been dying to go here but someone decided to be such a lazy for these past few days all she wanted to do is to rest at home” Ally nudged Amber who just gave her a simple smile.

 

“So that’s what you’ve been doing boss? Lazying at home?” asked Kris in teasing manners “I don’t think it’s a good example if our employees know about this, but worry not, your secret is safe with me”

 

Amber chuckled dryly “And what you guys have been doing while I’m not around? What’s this? A lunch date?” and asked bitterly.

 

Kris looked at Amber intensely before smiling wildly although his smiles looks forcedly “I wish, but no, its more like a farewell lunch for Director Jung here”

 

And that surprised both Amber and Ally.

 

“You’re leaving?” Ally beats Amber on asking Krystal.

 

Krystal took a sip of her drink before she answered “Yes, I’m going to go back to Seoul tonight” and ends it with a smile. That somehow ticks Amber off because she doesn’t like the way Krystal smiles that smile. Its not Krystal Jung Soojung’s smile.

 

“Really? Why?” asked Ally.

 

“Unfortunately Krystal’s job is done here, their office building has set, all the files needed to start our cooperation are ready, its just about a matter of time when its finally executed” said Kris, claiming position as Krystal’s spoke person.

 

“So its just temporary? Or you’ll be back here again?” there’s another tone in between Ally’s questions, but neither do Amber nor Krystal realized, but Kris, he does.

 

“She won’t, the project here will be taken care of her company’s President by himself, she’ll be focused on another matter”

 

Ally looked at Kris amusedly “You seems to know a lot about Krystal Kris.. Are you two..”

 

“No” answered Krystal as briefly looked at Amber “Just a friend and colleague” as she purposely emphasized the word, friend.

 

Kris chuckled airily while finishing his glass of red wine “Like Krystal said, just friend and a colleague”

 

The lunch goes on a rather weird atmosphere because each of them has their own problem to think about. However they finally said goodbye with Kris driving Krystal back to her place to get ready for her flight tonight, while as promised, Amber and Ally went back to their place.

 

Amber has been absentmindedly sit and stares at their living room tv screen for hours already while Ally took nap by laying her head on Amber’s lap. Her mind juggles between what happened more than a week ago and what she heard earlier during lunch. Krystal is leaving and she might not going back for at least some time.

 

Her heart raced, feels like its in a rollercoaster ride, her minds clouded over what to do, what she should do, could she do it. Unconsciously she started to pant, her brows furrowed and it catches Ally’s attention. She looked at how restless Amber’s become. She noticed how weird Amber’s became after the night she came home in dazed, had but then fell asleep after crying her hearts out. She refused to tell her what happened, she just said she’s tired and she needs sleep.

 

Knowing Amber for years, that night is the only time she ever saw her cried. Its just because crying isn’t really her habit. Even when she was a kid, Mrs. Liu said Amber rarely cried. She’d endured everything, including when she broke her leg after she fell from a skateboard trick went wrong. She didn’t cry, she only hissed in pain once in awhile but that’s all. But that night, she finally saw Amber cried. She cried so hard others would thought Amber just lost her love ones. Her love ones..

 

Krystal. She knows there’s something going on between Amber and Krystal.

 

“Leave her, be with me, I’ll make you happy! You know we could be happier..

Just like that time when there’s just us..” Kris told her when she told him about what she saw.

 

Leave her?

 

To be with him?

 

Will I be happier?

Those questions lingered in her mind when suddenly she felt a movement from Amber and it forced her to sit, as Amber stands up.

 

“I.. I got to go” Amber said walking fast to the bedroom to get her car keys then walked pass Ally but suddenly stopped when she heard Ally talks.

 

“Where are you going? What are you going to do?”

 

Amber didn’t dare to look at her. There’s a minute of uncomfortable silence when finally Amber said “I need to go somewhere, we’ll talk, later” grab her jacket then walked out leaving Ally staring blankly at the apartment closed door.

 

Amber literally ran to the parking lot, finding her car, opens it and ignites it as fast as she could, silently glad that her car is in an automatic transmission and with the steer on the left side of the car here in US, it could make it possible for her to drive even with his left not fully recovered hand.

 

Back in the apartment, Ally silently sits in the sofa, absentmindedly twirling her engagement ring, thinking, remembering back about her memories with Amber, when everything that matters were nothing but them, and then it happens between her and Kris. She could have just stopped it she knows. But why didn’t she? Why did she kept letting it happens? And now that she’s slowly but surely losing Amber from her hand, because the presence of another person, should she blamed them?

 

Does she still have rights to feel cheated?

 

Does she still have rights to get angry?

 

Does she still have rights to keep their relationship?

 

Amber drove fast to where Krystal live, she parked her car and dazing in, went straight to the elevator and hurriedly push Krystal’s floor number. Her chest thumped, her head spinning from the adrenaline shock, her palms kept sweating, she didn’t know what she supposed to do, or what she supposed to say, all she knows that she has to meet Krystal before she goes back to Seoul. However, when she arrived at Krystal’s apartment, ringing her doorbell endlessly, there’s no responds at all.

 

“Krystal” as desperate measure she banged the door “Krystal its me, we need to talk please”

 

But no matter how many time she did that, the door didn’t budge, then she remembered something, she took out her phone and tried to call Krystal “Pick up Krys please come on pick up” but she didn’t “Damn it!” Amber sighed.. Then she dialed another number..

 

***

 

Kris ended his call then opened a message application to send a text to someone.

 

To: Ally

 

I’m at your apartment parking lot, could you meet me so we could talk?

 

He sends it and wait.

 

***

 

“Excuse me, you can’t park there!” the airport security said but she didn’t care, she ran inside looking around, looking for a particular person, she looked at the flight schedules and she’s sure that she’s not late. She ran around for a little more until there she was, the one she’s looking for standing in the line to check in. She waited her until she’s finished and when she’s about to go to the lounge, Amber stops her.

 

“What the? Amber?”

 

“Yes, its me, please Krys, we need to talk”

 

“I don’t think there’s anything left to talk about” Krystal said as she tried to free herself from Amber

 

“No, there is Krys, there is, please?”

 

“Like what? Are you going to accused me again? Give it up Amber, I think..” she paused, looking at Amber’s pleading eyes, she hesitate then sighed, her heart couldn’t lie, but she had enough, this is too frustrating for her

 

“We won’t work out, I’ve been trying to accept that for years, I just have to try more now, maybe you should learn to let it go too” as she let her hands off Amber’s grip.

 

“No!” but Amber stopped her again “I can’t, I don’t want to let you go. I was wrong, I’m sorry, I was selfish, I was an idiot, all I did is nothing but hurting you, but please, give me another chance to show you that I want you, that I love you..”

 

Krystal didn’t say anything “All these years, you’re not the only one who have been trying to accept facts. I know I didn’t put much effort on us before, I gave up way too easily instead, but please, I just didn’t know what should I do, I mean, I never thought I’d be able to fall in love again with someone when I thought I am already in that state, I didn’t realize that what I feel for you is something bigger than I ever felt for her or anyone else, and when I did, I’m afraid that you’ll already move on..”

 

“Yet you’re her fiancée now, congratulation Amber, and if you could please excuse me, I have flight to catch”

 

“No wait”

 

“Excuse me ladies, is there something going on here?” an airport security officer suddenly approaching them “May I see your tickets?” to both of them

 

Amber tried to reason “I don’t have it sir, but I just need..”

 

“Then you can’t be here miss, let me you outside”

 

“No wait, I need to talk to her, Krys, please, lets talk for a bit” she plead

 

Krystal looked at Amber and contemplate before she said “Its okay officer, just give us a moment to talk”

 

“Then please talk somewhere because you made the other passengers uncomfortable”

 

“We will, thank you officer” Krystal let the officer walked away before she looked at Amber briefly and walked away, mentally telling Amber to follow her to somewhere less crowded and less taking others attention, and when she found a place she stopped, turned around and said to Amber curtly “Talk”

 

***

 

Ally saw Kris’s car not long after she stepped out of her building and didn’t think twice to walk straight to where the car is and get inside.

 

Silence is all what’s going on for several minutes after she got in. Ally seems busy with her thoughts while Kris, seems like he was about to say something, but waiting for the right time to say whatever thing he’s trying to say to her. So for awhile, he could only stare at her.

 

***

 

Amber has been trying to formulate a suitable sentences to utter what she’s been thinking, what she’s been feeling, what she wants, to Krystal, but its not as easy as it may seem. She’s never good with words, and never good to express her feelings to begin with, combined that two, it only make things a lot harder for her. While Krystal, she doesn’t have much time to wait, partially because of her flight schedules, partially because she’s just tired to do another waiting, waiting for Amber specifically.

 

“Look Amber, I got to go, if you are not going to say anything, I..”

 

“Don’t go.. Please..” Again, Amber plead “I.. I know I’ve been nothing but a jerk for you, I know I’ve been doing nothing but to hurt you, but Krys, please.. I .. I can’t without you..”

 

Krystal stays mum “I know its all been my mistakes, ever since the beginning, I should have been braver, I should have been tougher, I should have been everything that I’m not today, I should have did everything I could to make us work, I should have at least.. Tried to make us work..”

 

“But you didn’t” Krystal smiled sadly “You’ve made your choice Amber.. And I should have known better not to hope” yes, she realized something now “That’s why, I’m backing off. We shouldn’t happen. You did the right thing not to look back at me years ago and stay put with your decision. You did the right thing”

 

“If I did the right thing, then why didn’t I feel happy? If we shouldn’t happened, then why does it feels right when I have you in my arm?” asked Amber desperately, she too, realized about something now.

 

“Adrenaline rush when you’re doing something you shouldn’t behind everybody’s back?”

 

Amber felt her heart sank as soon as those words slipped out of Krystal’s lips “Adrenaline rush? Is.. Is that what you think of what I’m feeling for you? Is that what you think of what I’m feeling when we’re together?” she felt hurt.

 

Krystal saw it, but again, she’s just being honest “I don’t know Amber, I don’t know what am I supposed to feel, you’re with me yet you’re not mine, you’re mine but you’re with somebody else, what do you want me to think?” and frustrated

 

“I told you I’ll talk to my parents about cancelling my engagement, don’t you know how serious I am with this? With us?”

 

“I’ve waited too long Amber..” Krystal gripped her suitcase handle hard “And I’m scared of hoping to much..”

 

“I told you I’ll talk to my parents, I’ll talk to them Krys, just give me time, please..”

 

“I’m giving you time to think about it all over again Amber.. I’m giving you time to choose once again, whether you’ll stay or you’ll walk away..”

 

“I don’t get it..”

 

“I just don’t want you to choose me, then walked away once you realized that you’ve made mistakes” insecure, that would be the right word to what Krystal been feeling about her and Amber. Who wouldn’t when finally you’ll get to be with someone you could only hope before? Someone you thought would never be yours.. Ever..

 

And Amber, she couldn’t say anything but “I love you..” once she heard what Krystal said

 

And with that, Krystal can’t hold her tears any longer “I always love you, you know that.. But I’m scared Amber, I don’t know why but I’m scared.. I don’t think I could take it if you’ll turn your back from me again..”

 

By know, Amber knows, that if she wants them to work out, she’ll need to do some efforts, a lot of efforts, once she remember about her parents, before she could convince Krystal that she’s being serious about them. But the very first effort she has to do now, is to let Krystal go..

 

***

 

“Excuse me, we’re here sir” her thoughts being too preoccupied she didn’t even realized that she’s already in front of her apartment building.

 

“Thank you, please keep the change” she said as she walked out of the taxi, trying to steady herself on the ground when her thoughts drifted back to what happened at the airport. She just let Krystal go. The realization hit her and it send another pain throbbed right into her heart. She just let Krystal go..

 

She put her hand in her pocket and felt something. When she took it out, another realization hit her, she scoffed and chuckled bitterly. She left her car at the airport. She put it back in her pocket decided to deal with it tomorrow because tonight, all she wanted to do is to lay her head, her body and let her soul wanders to somewhere else, leaving all the heartaches she’s feeling right now. She shook her head and was about to walked to her building when she spots a familiar car. Kris’s car. Wondering why is it there at this time, she walked closer to where it parked. She checked her phone whether Kris contacted her telling her that he’ll dropped by tonight, but she found none. And when she took her eyes off of her phone and looked at the car, what’s happening inside the car, to be exact. She froze.

 

That night, the same night she had to let the girl who loves her for all these years goes, she had to witness how the girl she thought loves her for all of these years, deeply kissing someone else. Not just someone actually. Their bestfriend.

 

It seems like before she gives her lots of efforts to win Krystal’s trust, she has to put a lots of efforts to accept the fact that her fiancée, and her bestfriend, had been playing around with each other, behind her, for who knows how long. Because the way they kissed now, didn’t seems like it just happened today.