First time on a GAY bar
You are, who you are
Ren sitting in his sister's car and staring out the window.
"Why shall I do this?" He ask quietly. "Because it's the best" she answer. He turns his head quickly towards her and feel the tears pushing against his eyelids. "Why is it the best, that I have to betray mom and dad?" He whimpers .
Luna stops the car hard and Ren is about to fall forward. "Ahhhh" He yells and smash back in the seat when the car stops. "Shut up" Luna shouts and Ren gets so scared that he feel he grew 10 cm lower.
"You always talking about mom and dad, try also to think of yourself , you are good enough as you are Minki, you just have to believe it, I love you Minki and I want to help you , but you need to find out who you are before you can accept yourself and you're gay, you have to accept it because everyone else does"
Ren looking down at his feet . "Mom and Dad don't like me, they hate me" he whispers. "Mom and dad are idiots, they love no one, only their own opinions" She says and Ren look quickly at her.
"That's not true , they love you" Ren says and begins to cry. "Yeah, they love me because I am who I am, but I don't care what they think and believe. You shall learn to love yourself no matter what" She says and starts driving again.
Ren looks at her, but said nothing.
After 20 minutes, she stops the car on a parking area.
"Are you ready?" She ask and looking at Ren. He nods and they walk together out of the car and walks down the road. Luna hold around Ren and comforts him.
"It'll be okay, Minki" she says and smiles. "How do you know that?" He ask with anger and fair in his voice. She smiles "I just do, you will find someone which fits you" He look at her, she try to make him smile, by smiling to him, but it's won't work.
After some minut of silence, they see af little sign outside a building which used to be a café. On the sign there it's written: Welcome gays and your friends.
Ren stops and Luna was about to fall forward, but quickly she finds balance. "What is now?" She ask with a very angry voice and stare at Ren. "I'm afraid" He says. Luna give him a hug "It will be okay" She says and hold around Ren's wrist and pull him with her.
She open the door to the café and Ren don't even dare to open his eyes, but when he did, the only thing he see is some mens and teenage boys who drink tee, cafee and just talk. No ual dances and no flirts, just talking.
Ren don't think it looks so awful, but he don't say anything. He sits down next to Luna at a small table and looking at the others. There some of the men who hold in your hand and kiss, but nothing else.
"It's nothing like a straight bars" Ren said, and Luna looking confidently at him "People on a straight bar think more about , or it looks like they do" Ren looking at his sister and Luna smiles and nods at the same time. "Yes, that's right, ofcourse some gay and lesbian bars are with ual dancing and stof, but this one is not like that, that's why I never go on a straight bar, only with my friends on this gay bar" Ren look around to find something he can criticize, but he is don't care what the mens do and actually enjoy looking at them, only one thing could make it better.
"Do you think you can talk with DongHo now?" Luna ask and Ren look quickly at her "No way" He answer and look away. "I really want to talk with him" Ren whisper. Luna touch his shoulder and get Ren to stare into her eyes. "Why not?" She ask "If you like him, why don't you talk with him?" Ren shake his head. "He's not gay Luna" Ren say and feel the tears press on.
Ren began to cry.
Why can't I just talk with him, Ren think, I really like him, I really do, his eyes, his muscles, his hair, his personality, everything
"How do you know?" Ren is interrupted by Luna's voice and he look at her. "What?" He ask quietly. "How do you know he isn't gay?" Luna stare into her brother's eyes. Ren didn't know what to answer, because he didn't know, he never asked Baekho. "I don't" Ren say and look down. "If you really love yourself Minki, you would take more care of yourself" She say and stand up from the chair and walks out from the door. Ren is following her down the road.
She's right, Ren thinking, She's right.
Thank for reading, love you all.
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