Minseok felt his chest tighten into a pretzel, knocking out all the air in his lungs, leaving him speechless as he stared wide-eyed at the perfect human being before him.

 

"Minseok-ah." Luhan smiled, eyes shining ever so brightly that made Minseok want to just look away and throw tapioca balls at him, but he worked here. Minseok blinked, eyes shifting to look at the door behind Luhan as he ignored the way the butterflies started swarming around near his heart.

 

"I miss you."

 

Minseok blinked, a sudden death grip on his bubble tea. "Excuse me?" Minseok said, teeth clenching together visibly.

 

"I said I mi--"

 

"Get out." Minseok cut in, ignoring the way the younger's smile started to falter, a pained expression on his face. Minseok looked Luhan dead in the eyes, maintaining a calm expression while his eyes seered with anger. 

 

"Min-" Luhan started to say, stopping himself and biting his bottom lip, hesitating for a moment before turning around and leaving.

 

Minseok stood there for a couple of minutes, staring blankly at the spot where Luhan left. He felt his knees give out, one of his hand clutching onto the counter as he hung his head, the other hand coming up to clamp over his mouth, a muffled sob ripping through his throat.

 

--

 

Minseok hates Luhan. He hates the way he can just completely fall apart at the younger's feet. He hates how Luhan has Minseok easily wrapped around his finger. Luhan has complete control over Minseok; his emotions, his actions. And Luhan

knows that, and he uses that for his own advantage because he knows no matter how ty he treats Minseok, no matter how many times he kicks him around, Minseok would never leave.

 

Minseok hates that, despite all the things Luhan has done to him, he still loves him. He still gets weak in the knees whenever Luhan's in the room. His heart still races whenever

Luhan smiles at him. The butterflies explode and his palms get sweaty. He hates how hopelessly in love he is with Luhan. 

 

But Luhan hurts him. He hurts him emotionally, ripping his heart to pieces every time he ignored the older, claiming he was busy with "work." Minseok can't say he's fine with it. When he needed Luhan the most he wasn't there. When he needed someone to tell him that everything will be okay, Luhan chose not to answer his phone. Minseok spent endless nights crying into his pillow because he missed Luhan. He missed his warm touches and the sound of his voice that seemed to make everything better instantly.

 

Luhan can constantly hurt Minseok, kick him down until he can't get up, but Minseok will always be in love with Luhan, he will always cling on a little tighter to the younger no matter how many times he tries to shake him off. Because Minseok rather get hurt by Luhan than get hurt from anyone else.

 

--

 

"I heard Luhan's in Beijing." Zitao spoke up that night, chewing on some Pocky as he stared blankly at a game show being aired. Zitao was sprawled out on the couch, leaving Miseok no choice but to sit on the floor, back against the couch.

 

Minseok stiffened visibly at the mention of Luhan, biting his lip and stealing a piece of pocky from Zitao. "Really?"

 

Zitao hummed a bit, nodding his head even though the older wasn't facing his way. "Yup, I also heard he went to that bubble tea shop

you worked at."

 

Minseok blinked, a small piece of pocky hanging out of his mouth. "Who told you that?"

 

"Luhan."

 

Minseok frowned a bit, going back to chewing on the piece of biscuit. "That means you talked to him today." 

 

"That is correct, ge ge." Zitao mummbled, voice drifting off as he got more and more absorbed into the television show.

 

Minseok shook away the thoughts of Luhan that started to pop up in his head, trying his best to focus on the television. 

 

"He's coming over tomorrow, by the way."

 

"WHAT?!"

 

--

 

Minseok refused to leave their room the next day, locking Zitao out.

 

"If you didn't invite him you would've been able to come inside!"

 

"Stop being so immature and let me in, Minseok ge!"

 

"No!"

 

Zitao started pouding on the door with his fists, letting out small sniffles. "Please ge ge."

 

"Nope." Minseok huffed, pressing his back against the door.

 

"Baekhyun and Chanyeol will be here too, Minseok."

 

"And so will he." Minseok said in a soft voice, arms crossed over his chest in a stubborn way.

 

He heard Zitao sigh on the other side, knocking on the door this time.

 

"Hyung, the only person that made you smile like there was no tomorrow was Luhan. I just want you to smile like that again." Zitao admitted softly, making Minseok strain to listen to the younger from the other side of the door.

 

Minseok frowned, giving into the younger's words as he slowly reached up, pulling the door open to peek his head out a bit.

 

"I appreciate it, Tao. I just--" Minseok started off, taking in a deep breathe. "I'm just scared."

 

Zitao, relieved that the older finally opened the door, pushed it open further, sliding his body through and sat across the floor from him. "Why would you be scared?"

 

Minseok blinked, hand nervously playing with the hem of his over-sized t-shirt. "I'm just scared. I'm scared that once I see him I'll let myself fall for him all over again. I'm scared that if I do end up falling for him, I'd only be left heartbroken once again. I'm terrified because Luhan has the ability to completely disintegrate what's barely left of my sanity. But no matter how many times I try to ignore that bastard, he has this way of reeling me back into him. I'm hopelessly in love with him and I'm scared."

 

Zitao stared at Minseok for a long time, his expression unreadable as Minseok's eyes flickered nervously from the younger's face to his sweaty palms, waiting for his response.

 

"Minseok ge ge," Zitao started, "it's obvious you're still starstruck with Luhan. He's the only person that was able to make your smile seem genuine and your eyes shine with a glint of happiness, something I wasn't able to do. I just want to see you happy, even if it's not because of me. Just try giving Luhan a chance, and if it honestly doesn't work again then move on. Forget Luhan and erase all the memories you've had with him. I'll support you one step of the way."

 

Zitao nodded proudly, and Minseok let out a soft laugh as he scrambled over to hug the younger.

 

"I have the biggest urge to either kiss you or punch you for being so sappy."

 

--

 

It was a cold, frigid evening. Soccer practice just ended and Luhan was in the warmth of the smelly locker rooms. He was alone, considering practice ended an hour ago yet he and Minseok decided to battle it out one on one. Luhan slipped the puffy coat onto his still shivering body, despite the humidity in the locker room. He shifted his soccer bag onto his shoulder.

 

"Minseok! Are you ready?" He called out randomly in the locker room, expecting the older to reply. He never did.

 

Luhan blinked, peering through the lockers. "Minseok?"

 

"Where is he?" Luhan muttered quietly to himself as he headed out the doors of the locker room, running up the stairs and back outside. 

 

He pushed open the door, only to be met with an icy cold wind that slapped him right across the face. He shivered, eyes darting across to the soccer field. He was about to give up due to sole fact that it was practically pitch black and he couldn't see. But he stopped immediately when he spotted a vibrant color amongst the darkness.

 

There he found Minsek sitting in the middle of the field. Luhan quickly shuffled over to him, frantically calling out his name to catch his attention.

 

"Minseok! Minseok!" The younger cried out loud, but the older didn't budge.

 

Luhan came to a slow halt when he was able to reach Minseok, noticing the way his body shook lightly, and the small sniffles emitted from his mouth.

 

"M-Minseok." Luhan whispered, dropping onto his knees as he reached over to grab ahold of Minseok's hand that was clutching onto his phone, gasping in shock from how terrifyingly cold he was. He quickly slipped off his jacket, ignoring the bone-chilling way the cold air hit against his bare skin. He wrapped his jacket around Minseok, who refused to look up at Luhan, soft sobs escaping his lips as one hand went over to cover his mouth, muffling the heart-wrenching sobs that made Luhan want to cry. 

 

He sat there with Minseok in the freezing cold, wrapping the jacket securely around Minseok, trying to warm the younger. He ignored the numb feeling in his fingers as he sat there shivering, arm drapped over Minseok's shoulder as he rubbed his arm soothingly, not saying a word.

 

It was later that Luhan realized Minseok's grandmother had passed away. Minseok was a babbling mess, tears mixed with his own saliva as he choked out the words to Luhan. He knew how much Minseok's grandmother meant to him. And he knew Minseok would never forgive himself for not visiting her enough.

 

When Minseok finally snapped to his senses at around midnight, he kept whispering hushed "I'm sorry's" to Luhan, scrambling to his feet as he started to pry the jacket off of his body, whining about how stupid Luhan was for letting him have his jacket and how stupid he was to not just go back to the locker room and get his jacket. 

 

Luhan just laughed as the older physically forced the jacket onto Luhan, cursing at him for being an idiot and "Don't come crawling to me when you're coughing your brains out!"

 

Luhan didn't return home until 4 in the morning, having spent the remaining fours hours cuddled in Minseok's room, soft laughs and whispers being exchanged as they played video games of soccer, Luhan purposely letting Minseok win just to be able to see that smile he came to love.

 

--

 

"MINSEOKIE HYUNG!" came a loud, shrill voice that echoed through the apartment, followed by a small, grumble of "Nice to see you, too" from Zitao.

 

Minseok blinked up at a hyperactive Baekhyun that fell onto Minseok's lap, hugging the dear life out of him. "I missed you, babo."

 

Minseok laughed, trying to pry the younger off him. "Yeah, yeah. I missed you too Baek."

 

"Chanyeol here?" Minseok asked, still desperately trying to kick the younger off of uim.

 

"He was being annoying so I made him stay back at the hotel." Baekhyun replied, huffing a bit with a small frown on his lips.

 

When Minseok finally got the annoyingly clingy younger off him, he hoisted himself up, making subtle eye contact with Luhan, who immediately looked away and edged himself to Zitao.

 

Minseok puffed his cheeks in frustration, watching as Luhan clung onto Zitao's arm. 

 

--

 

The four of them were sprawled out in front of the television, a random movie playing. Zitao and Luhan were seated on the couch while Minseok sat with his back against the couch, legs extended out. Baekhyun had his body draped over Minseok's legs. ("Jesus you're heavy.")

 

As the movie progressed on, Baekhyun was the first to fall asleep, drooling all over their floor. Minseok whined, pushing Baekhyun off his legs and grabbing a blanket he brought from his room to cover Baekhyun's snoring head.

 

The second to fall asleep was Zitao, head resting against the arm rest. Minseok yawned a bit, bringing over another blanket to cover the younger. 

 

Minseok and Luhan were left wide awake, leaving an awkward silence being filled as the movie came to an end.

 

Luhan cleared his throat, hurriedly getting up from the couch.

 

"W-Wait!" Minseok stuttered out, scrambling up onto his feet, hand quickly grabbing the younger. Luhan froze for a moment, turning around so he was face-to-face with Minseok.

 

"What?" He spat venomously, "Are you going to tell me to get out again?"

 

Minseok blinked, shaking his head immediately.

 

"N-No! Of course not! I just wanted to say--" Minseok started off, letting go of the younger's arm as he nervously tugged at the bottom of his shirt.

 

"I miss you too."

 

 

 

 

 

--

AUTHOR'S NOTE: HELLO MY LOVELY 159 SUBSCRIBERS <3 this chapter is a little bit weird, I apologize! IF ANY CONFUION HAPPENS LET ME KNOW PLEASE I'LL TRY EXPLAINING EVERYTHING! Ah, another long and hectic week of school but it's Friday which means chapter update! /confetti everywhere/ Anyway, the whole italicized was more of showing a memory that Luhan did care about Minseok, and he honestly still cares anout him. There's something going on with Luhan that Minseok isn't even sure about. BUT THATWOULD BE DEALING WITH NEXT CHAPTER! Anyway, leaves comment, criticism, or jut say hi! I hope this chapter is to your liking and you don't dislike it tht much? Hehe I love you guys! <3

 

- Mizuki