NOTE: The words that are italicized means Xiumin is talking, and regular font is Minseok!

 

Everything goes back to normal. Luhan has work to go to, homework to work on, and exams to study for. Minseok barely gets to see Luhan, and when he does Luhan's too worn out to do anything so they spend the night on the couch, watching movies and talking. When Minseok realizes sometime between the gentle snore coming from Luhan and the way he feels the younger slump into his arms is when he realizes just how exhausted Luhan is, and he shuts up, keeping the thoughts he's been dying to talk to with Luhan pent up inside him, waiting for the next time he'll be able to get Luhan all to himself.

 

But Minseok never blames Luhan, he never blames the younger for being so busy, trying to figure out his life while Minseok was slowly trying to rebuild his life.

 

Xiumin doesn't blame Luhan, rather he blames Minseok. He blames Minseok for being so dependent on someone who had no time for him, who doesn't even need him. He blames Minseok for actually believing what the younger had said. He blames Minseok for being so weak, letting the words of someone break him down so easily, leaving him to crawl after the other. He blames Minseok for being so stupid, so naive, so helpless. And Minseok brushes Xiumin away, refusing to listen to the devil's words as he busies himself, cleaning up his apartment until no speck of dust was shown.

 

--

 

But when it's been more than two weeks and Minseok hasn't seen Luhan once, Minseok starts listening to Xiumin. But Luhan tries his best to be there for Minseok, sending him text messages right when he wakes up, right before he goes to sleep, and before/after classes and work. He sends him words of encouragement, promises of seeing him soon, and small complaints of having so much work to do, filling him in on his day. But that doesn't stop Minseok from talking to Xiumin.

 

"So where's Luhan?"

 

"He's busy."

 

"Too busy for you? That's horrible."

 

"Shut up, he feels really bad."

 

"If he feels really bad you wouldn't be talking to me right now."

 

"T-That's only because I got lonely, so I decided to confide in you. It's been a while."

 

"It has, hasn't it? Too busy with Luhan?"

 

"A-Ah, not exactly. He's been busy, I've been cleaning a lot."

 

"Cleaning? Your OCD is kicking in again."

 

"I just felt like cleaning."

 

"Have you tried talking to Luhan today?"

 

"No, he's at work."

 

"Work? Who spends so much time at work? There's obviously a reason."

 

"N-No, of course not!"

 

"Well, where does he work at?"

 

"A coffee shop."

 

"Maybe he has a friendly co-worker there, why don't you go find out?"

 

"N-Now? No!"

 

"Why not? It won't hurt to just go there. Maybe he doesn't have a friendly co-worker. You'll never know unless you go."

 

"I-I guess."

 

--

 

Minseok doesn't know why he let Xiumin talk him into going to the coffee shop, considering it's a thirty minute walk from his apartment. But there he was, walking down along the sidewalk, as the cool breeze hit against the back of his neck, sending a cold shiver down his spine.

 

He took small breathes. In and out in and out. He didn't want to believe what Xiumin had told him, that Luhan probably had someone better to talk to at work then with Minseok. He shook his head, trying to rid all of the negative thoughts Xiumin placed in his head as he neared the coffee shop.

 

He prayed Xiumin was wrong, he prayed that he'd find Luhan taking orders and doing his work diligently, working hard and non-stop.

 

But what he saw was enough to let that barrier crack open, negatives thoughts pouring into every aspect of his mind. 

 

He knew he shouldn't let his thoughts get to him, but it suffocated him, leaving him gasping for breathe as he quickly covered his mouth, backing away from the glass wall. He took deep breathes, eyes closed tight as he tried to catch his breathe.

 

After having calmed down, he pulled over his hood, covering parts of his face as he casually strolled into the coffee shop, head down as he picked a seat where he knew Luhan wouldn't see him at. 

 

He felt like a stalker, but his heart was racing like crazy and Xiumin was frantically yelling at his ear, telling him to look up, look up.

 

So when Minseok was settled down into his chair, he glanced over at the counter. 

 

Oh Sehun.

 

--

 

Minseok knew Sehun always had a favorite hyung, and that was Luhan. Sehun stuck by Luhan's side everywhere he went. He followed him to his classes, and demanded Luhan to buy him bubble tea after classes. Sehun worshipped the ground Luhan walked on, and Luhan didn't really have a problem with that.

 

--

 

Minseok felt his stomach curl up into a ball, that feeling of nausea crashing over him. He felt his breathe hitch in his throat, and his heart suddenly tightened in his chest. Minseok wanted to throw up, throw up all the food he had forced himself to eat because he wanted to get better, wanted to get better for Luhan.

 

But as he watched Luhan laughing, eyes crinkling in happiness as he and Sehun chattered away, Minseok felt a wave of regret hit him hard, hit him hard in the back, knocking him over and leaving him to drown helplessly. He shouldn't have gone out today. He shouldn't have listened to Xiumin. He doesn't know why he's so upset over Sehun who was just friends with Luhan, but his bloods curls at the sight of how happy Sehun makes Luhan, at how Luhan's smile is ten times brighter than when he was with Minseok. It hurts, oh how it hurts when Minseok realizes that Luhan really doesn't need him, doesn't need some crazy, mentally unstable boy in his life. And it hurts when he realizes that Luhan spends most of his time with Sehun more than with Minseok. It hurts, everything just ing hurts.

 

Minseok blinked once, twice, thrice before he darted his eyes away from the two, cringing slightly at the burst of laughter coming out from Luhan's mouth. There was barely anyone in the coffee shop, only a couple of people reading their newspaper and enjoying the free Wifi. Luhan was casually leaning against the counter, Sehun's arms draped over his shoulder as they erupted into hushed fits of laughter, leaving Minseok to visibly close his eyes, teeth gritting at the horrendous sound.

 

"You were right."

 

"Of course, I'm always right."

 

--

 

Minseok doesn't leave his apartment for three days. He stays in bed, only getting up to use the bathroom or drink some water. He finds himself listening to Xiumin more and more each day, something he knew he shouldn't be doing but he had no one to stop him.

 

--

 

Xiumin looks a lot like him, except he was perfect. Xiumin was skinny, and Minseok was not. Xiumin had a flat stomach and thighs that barely touched, while Minseok had chubby cheeks, a small stomach peeking out, and his thighs brushed against each other everytime he walked. Minseok looked up to Xiumin, wanted to be Xiumin, wanted to be just as perfect as Xiumin was. 

 

Maybe that's why he gave in after having not seen Luhan in over a month, only having short text messages to read right when he wakes up and right before he goes to sleep. He reads Luhan's text messages right before he eats breakfast, lunch and dinner, motivating him to atleast try and swallow down the food without having to run to the bathroom after. He reads Luhan's text messages before he goes out with his friends, reminding himself to enjoy life and spend some time with people.

 

But he stops reading them, he stops eating, and he stops socializing with other people. Right before he goes to sleep, he has the sudden urge to just read those text messages again, just to get some reassurance so maybe--just maybe--the nightmares won't start coming back, but Xiumin tells him no. Xiumin shakes his head as Minseok reaches over for his phone.

 

"You're pathetic, you know that right?"

 

Minseok frowned, hesitating for a moment before taking his phone into his hand, trying to ignore Xiumin.

 

"It's been--what?--a month since you've last seen Luhan?" A sharp, loud laugh echoes inside his head. "Give up, Minseok. Luhan doesn't need you, he's just keeping you waiting until he feels lonely."

 

Minseok blinked a bit, Xiumin's words settling into his thoughts as he bit his lip, fingers hovering over his phone to unlock the screen.

 

"You don't know that."

 

"It's obvious to everyone, but you. What a shame." 

 

Minseok glared up at Xiumin, who was standing at the foot of his bed, arms crossed over his shoulder, his eyes a dark shade of black. "You're a liar. Shut up and leave me alone, I don't need you anymore."

 

"Then who do you have? Luhan?" A sarcastic laugh ripped through Xiumin's throat, shaking his head. "Like I said, you're really pathetic."

 

Minseok closes his eyes tightly at the words being thrown at him, gritting his teeth. When he opens them again, Xiumin's gone and Minseok's phone blinks, the light shining in his face.

 

It's a text from Luhan.

 

Minseok swallows harshly, deleting it right away. 

 

 

 

--

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey guys! I'M BACK WITH ANOTHER UPDATE AND SHAME ON ME BECAUSE I HAVE TO DO SUMMER HOMEWORK AND SCHOOL STARTS IN LESS THAN A WEEK. But I was feeling sad, and usually when I'm sad I write fanfics so that's why I have another chapter for you guys! I wanted to clear up some things about this chapter. I wrote a certain conversation between Xiumin and Minseok. Obviously, we all know, Xiumin isn't real, and he's all but a figment of Minseok's imagination. But Minseok talks to him as though he was talking to a normal person. And the last part where Minseok actually saw Xiumin was just his imagination again, but Minseok doesn't know that. Minseok thinks Xiumin is real, which is the scary part. At first when I wrote about the seperation of Minseok and Xiumin I didn't expect to emerge into this, but it's something different from the norm, right? Xiumin is basically his inner conscious talking to him, which is another reason why Xiumin is made out as "perfect" and "skinny." It's because that's how Minseok wants to look like. It's like his alter ego, but the thing is Minseok is already skinny as Xiumin, even skinnier. But in his eyes, all he sees is a chubby boy. Sad, isn't it? I DONT KNOW WHY I WRITE STORIES LIKE THIS, it's only because the feelings are relevant to me. ANYWAY THIS IS TOO LONG, please enjoy this chapter. If you find another chapter posted this week, please slap me and force me to do homework. Comment, leave criticism, or just say hi! Thanks for reading! <3 ((if you actually read all this wow, I love you!))

 

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