As each day passes by, Minseok finds it harder and harder to wake up and face the day without getting to see Luhan. He misses the way Luhan would wrap his arms securely around his waist, washing away the insecurities. He misses the way Luhan was able to make him feel okay in an instant just being able to hear his voice. He misses the way Luhan presses his soft lips against the crook of his neck, his hot breathe lingering against his skin. He misses feeling safe in Luhan's arms, and now he's just alone in his own bed, shivering from the cold.

 

--

 

Minseok started to read Luhan's messages again, feeling guilty for actually believing in what Xiumin told him. It was then he started to text Luhan about how he felt, and how much he missed him. Usually Luhan would text him on a daily basis, but Minseok noticed the lack of messages he's been getting. And as days turned to weeks, Luhan stopped replying all-in-all.

 

--

 

It was times like this where Minseok would escape to the rooftop, knowing exactly well that Xiumin was deathly afraid of heights. 

 

Minseok would quickly head over to the ledge of the rooftop, slipping his legs under the railing so his legs were dangling off the edge. He pressed his chest against the bottom railing, arms perched ontop as he slipped his head under the upper railing connected, looking down at the city lights.

 

It was here where he drifted off into his little world as his mind wandered off from where he was now, head leaning against the railing, staring up into the night sky.

 

--

 

Minseok hates how fat he is, how disgusting and ugly he looks whenever he sees himself in the mirror. He hates the way his thighs brush against eachother whenever he walks, and he hates the way his body isn't sculpted with abs.  He hates feeling so worthless and clueless and so lost in this world when all of his friends know where they're heading in life.

 

He realizes how much Luhan means to him. He hates thinking about Luhan. He hates how much he needs Luhan, and how much he misses him. He hates how pathetic he feels as he waits by his cellphone all day, jumping when he hears that familiar ringtone and quickly rushing to check his phone, his heart falling when he realizes it's not Luhan. He hates realizing the fact that if Luhan never met him, Luhan would still be able to live his life because he was just perfect. And perfect people don't need a giant mess like Minseok around. All Minseok felt was a burden to Luhan, the perfect Luhan who was too busy to even see him and hold him and kiss him and just be with him. It hurt Minseok when he would call Luhan, asking if he was available to watch a movie at his place. All he heard was a giant eruption of laughter in the background, and Luhan's muffled voice as he replies with, "I'm sorry Minseok-ah, maybe next time."

 

He hates texting Luhan good morning messages and good night messages every single day, and never getting a reply back. Minseok could already feel Luhan slipping away from his hold, and he barely got the chance to have him all for himself. 

 

--

 

Minseok regrets the day he let Luhan press his soft lips against his own. Minseok regrets the day he actually believed what Luhan said. He felt so special as he was placed on the highest pedastal in Luhan's heart. Minseok felt like nothing could knock him down, because he believed what Luhan told him. He believed him.

 

But as he felt a sudden shift from underneath him, and the crumbling sound of the pedastal he knew he should've never trusted Luhan. He should've never trusted someone as perfect as Luhan to actually love someone so disfunctional, someone so broken. 

 

--

 

As the pedastal crumbled into bits and pieces underneath him, sending Minseok falling onto the hard floor, he just as expected Luhan to come and pick him up, kiss away the bloody cuts from the broken pieces of the pedastal and relocate him somewhere else, somewhere more sturdier. 

 

However, he watched Luhan walk past him, completely ignoring the way Minseok could barely stand, he reminded himself to never fall in love with someone as perfect as Luhan.

 

--

 

He hates Luhan. He hates him for leading him on, thinking he actually held a special place in his heart to be called "his." But he knows better now. He knows by the way Luhan never picks up his phone and by the way he never gets any messages from Luhan that he should've known this wasn't permanent, just temporary.

 

Minseok was just a simple page in Luhan's book, but Luhan was a chapter of Minseok's that can never be re-written out.

 

--

 

As Minseok jolted awake from his sleep, hands clutching onto the railing that held his fragile body up, he realized he must've fell asleep. He shifted slightly, reaching into his pocket to fish out his phone.

 

No new messages.

 

Minseok took a deep breathe, dialing a number onto his phone.

 

One ring, two ring.

 

"Hello?"

 

"Hey, I have a favor to ask of you."

 

--

 

Minseok stood at the gate of the airport, impatiently waiting with his passport and ticket in hand.

 

"Minseok hyung!" a voice called, making the older turn, a small sigh of relief washing over him.

 

"Zitao-ah." Minseok smiled, jumping up and down excitedly as he quickly hurried the younger towards the gate.

 

"C'mon, you're late!" Minseok whined, pushing him towards the line as he dragged his luggages over.

 

"There was traffic." The younger pouted, quickling rummaging through his bag to pull out his own passport and ticket.

 

"Are you sure about this, hyung?" Zitao asked, a worried expression on his face as he glanced down at the older.

 

Minseok took a deep breathe, nodding his head. "I'm sure." He his lips nervously, sending a reassuring smile at the younger as he quickly urged him to move foward on the line. Zitao looked skeptical, but nodded his head in agreement, starting to randomly babble on about Gucci.

 

--

 

As Minseok got settled down onto the airplane seat, he took in a deep breathe, peering out the window. He knew he had to do this.

 

He felt Zitao settling down onto the seat next to him, leaning over the armrest to get a look outside.

 

"So we're really going to do this, huh?" Zitao asked, watching as the plane started to move along the road. Minseok nodded his head, eyes never leaving the window as he watched the road slowly disappearing from underneath as the plane took off in full speed, finally leaving South Korea.

 

It was then he realized how much pressure had been lifted off his chest as he closed the window shield. 

 

He felt Zitao nudge him, a smile on his face.

 

"Hyung, don't forget! You promised me a new Gucci wallet!"

 

Minseok rolled his eyes, letting out a small laugh. "Yeah yeah, I know. Thanks, by the way. You know, for coming with me."

 

"What are friends for, huh? Besides, I missed my family. China will be a new start for you, ge ge." Zitao teased as he easily slipped into Mandarin.

 

Minseok nodded his head, a small sigh escaping his lips. 

 

"Hopefully."

 

 

 

 

-

AUTHOR'S NOTE: It's been awhile since I've updated and I've missed writing so much ;; I just had my first week of school, and I already have piles of homework and quizzes coming up. But I found some spare time to quickly update before I get pulled back into the stressfulness of school. SO AS I WAS WRITING THIS I ENDED UP DELETING THE FIRST PART OF MY CHAPTER BY ACCIDENT AND I FORGOT WHAT I WROTE SO WHENEVER I GET THE CHANCE I'M GOING TO BE EDITING THE BEGINNING OF THIS CHAPTER AGAIN SOMETIME NEXT WEEK. but for now, I present you this! OH, yeah for those of you who read the chapter where Minseok had a mental breakdown I decided to hide that chapter. I wanted to take on a different direction for the story. SO I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS! Please leave comments, criticism, or just say hi! o u o THANKS FOR READING AND OH MA GOSH 128 SUBSCRIBERS YOU GUYS ; A ; I LOVE YOUUU<3

 

((whispers does anyone have a twitter follow me and let's talk okeh hehe @jngdongwoo))