One word, three letters, cut deep into Xiumin's thigh; fat. A word that'll probably forever haunt him whenever he looks at himself in the mirror, feeling the insecurity seep deep into his bones, sending an unwelcome shiver up his spine as he ignores the way his stomach sticks out into a small bump, and the way his thighs seem to touch way too much then he'd like. It's the only thought that'll crawl through his mind in the middle of the night as the voices start to get louder and louder, bombarding him with negatives thoughts that drag him into the dark abyss, drowning him as he struggles to breathe, gasping for air only to have his lungs filled with malevolent, venomous means. When night elapses to day, Xiumin only hopes for the voices to go away, but they never do. 

 

As the sun shines brightly against Xiumin's back as he walks to classes, the voices are hushed but still there. And it distracts him during classes, exams, work. He falls into a trance as he starts to listen to the voices, that feeling of uncertainty raising in his chest as his lungs suddenly contract together, making it suddenly hard to breathe even in the daylight.

 

Minseok's never free as the voices have him securely tied down, slashing at him with malicious words, cutting deep into his bones, leaving him to slowly bleed away. 

 

--

 

A year is enough to leave Xiumin mentally unstable, refusing to see anyone or talk to anyone as he locks himself in the confinement of his own apartment. A year is enough to leave Xiumin huddled in a ball in the middle of his bed, staring blankly at the wall. A year is enough to let Xiumin know that maybe he needs Luhan more than he actually thought. 

 

But the voices inside him laugh, telling him that Luhan's been much better without him.

 

He said he misses you? Bull. Don't listen to the lies that slip past his mouth. He doesn't need you, he hasn't even thought about you since. Just drink your water and let's skip classes again today, okay?

 

--

 

Minseok lets the voices talk to him as though they were a loving mother, treating him with respect and love and care. They tell him the truth and don't feed him lies like others. And as he's sitting alone in his room, lights off and the curtains closed, Minseok lets the voices take him alive, leaving Xiumin in his place.

 

--

 

But Minseok isn't dead, no matter how many times Xiumin tries and kills the weak boy. Minseok's still trapped under piles and piles of brick being thrown his way, still fighting to live, still fighting for his own sanity as Xiumin slowly drives Minseok's body into a grave, which Xiumin personally dug up himself. 

 

But Minseok needs Luhan, he needs Luhan more than anything at this point, and as Minseok hears those words, "I missed you" slip past Luhan's slips, he charges into action, forcing his own body to turn around, searching deep into Luhan's eyes, hoping he'd be able to see past Xiumin, and find Minseok helplessly crying for help. He forces the words, "I missed you too" past his lips, ignoring the way Xiumin immediately growls in disapproval. Minseok needs Luhan. Minseok needs help.

 

--

 

And as a year passes since Xiumin and Luhan have stopped talking, Minseok finds himself in front of Luhan's apartment, knuckles knocking against his door in a hurry, as though he was afraid Xiumin will find him and proceed to make his life worser than it already is.

 

Minseok's relieved when Luhan opens the door, hand rubbing at his sleepy eyes because--oh yeah, it was 4 am in the morning. Luhan's sleepy eyes quickly widen, completely awake as he sees Minseok standing at his door, tears streaming down his face. Luhan pulls Minseok to him, arms immediately wrapping around his boney waists as Minseok clings desperately to Luhan's shirt. 

 

"I-I need help, L-Luhan."

 

--

 

Minseok and Luhan are seated next to each other on the couch, staring at the blank television screen. The sun starts peeking through the horizon, light shining through Luhan's apartment as Minseok's eyes dart around the place, noticing just how messy Luhan's place has gotten.

 

"I, uh, see you still haven't cleaned your apartment since .. a year ago." Minseok speaks up, glancing over at Luhan, noticing his tear stained shirt, a blush drawing on his cheeks as he quickly looks away.

 

Luhan nods, a small laugh escaping his lips as he stares down at his hands on his lap. "Mm, yeah. Things haven't been so great for me ever since .. yeah."

 

Minseok blinks, a guilty wave washing over him as he nods his head. "L-Look Luhan-ah, I-I'm sorry. I really am."

 

Luhan looks up, eyes sad as a small smile curls on his lips. "No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not noticing. I'm sorry for being a horrible friend, and I'm sorry for letting you become this way."

 

Minseok frowned, shaking his head at his best friend's words. "Luhan. None of this is your fault, so please don't start blaming yourself."

 

"Why shouldn't I?" Luhan's voice rose, his body turned towards Minseok. "I'm supposed to be your best friend, Minseok. It only took me till a year ago to realize that something wasn't right when you suddenly refused to eat lunch with me, or when you started to decline my Skype calls, claiming you were too tired. I should've known something was going on, I should've known. Yet I was too absorbed to realize the person I love was practically killing himself. I was too absorbed with work and classes and trying to figure out my life to realize the only person that mattered the most was slowly dying in front of my eyes. Minseok I'm sorry, I really really am. I understand if you wouldn't want a best friend like me, I'm such a ty friend I'm so-"

 

"You love me?" Minseok asked, suddenly interrupting a rambling Luhan. 

 

Luhan blinked, nodding his head as a sheepish smile plays on his lips. "I-I do love you, Minseok-ah. And I'm really sorry. I really really am." 

 

Minseok blinked at the confession, a small blush on his cheeks as a smile naturally pulls on his lips, a warm feeling bubbling inside of him, something he hasn't felt in such a long time. 

 

So when he shifts closer to Luhan, his eyes flickering to look up at the younger, actions timid as he blinks softly. "I love you, too. Please don't leave me."

 

Luhan smiled warmly, nudging his nose softly against Minseok's as he mutters soflty before pressing his lips against his, "I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

 

And when Luhan pulls away from the small kiss, he finally sees Minseok in his eyes, the spark rekindling once again. 

 

 

--

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey guys! Wow I've been updating pretty quickly recently, but that'll have to stop soon. School is starting soon, and I'm going to be reading, writing essays, and completing packets because I PROCRASTINATED AND I NOW HAVE PILES OF SUMMER HOMEWORK I HAVE YET TO COMPLETE. I can feel the anxiety building up in me already. Anyway, I like this chapter a lot! Xiuhan reunited! Anyway, please comment, leave criticism, or just say hi! ^.^ All is welcomed! Thanks for reading! <3