Ailee really, really couldn't expect Sunggyu to do something THAT stupid. It was understandable to some context, considering his crush for her since high school, but to kiss her unexpectedly was too much. Hyorin had barely recovered from her depression! It must have been really traumatising for her to react that seriously. But... why did she react like that? Was it really that bad to her? Sure, she would be shock, but... everything just didn't sit right, and Ailee wanted to know why.

So she wasn't that glad to be put in the search team.

Since finding Hyorin was still the absolute first priority, everyone agreed to be put into two teams, one to find the diary and one to find Hyorin. Obviously, it was a lot harder to find a girl in the whole of Korea than to find a notebook in the dorm, therefore more people were placed in the search team, though a lot of them really wanted to see the contents of Hyorin's diary, including Ailee herself. However, if they are able to bring Hyorin back safe and sound in the end, she didn't mind for now. Gripping the steering wheel tightly, she took a quick glance at her tight-lipped partner who was sitting beside her. He was gazing at the busy streets of Seoul from the window, his face tired and emotionless. Ailee never expected being with Sunggyu could become so awkward. Usually, he would be cracking a joke, causing them both to laugh till their tummies hurt, or she would be sharing one of her seemingly deep life stories with him by this time. It must had been a lot harder when you're the cause of everyone's worry and frustration.

"You know," Ailee commented, tapping the wheel with her fingertips, "that we are finding Hyorin at the moment, right?"

"..." The lips that carried out his selfish deed remained shut, not like she was expecting a reply anyway.

"Driving around in circles isn't going to help. Is there anywhere you think she'll go to?" When the team left, nobody really knew what to do, since there wasn't a very obvious lead. After a short time of quick planning, it was apparent that the best thing they could do was to search at the places Hyorin usually go to, though there weren't a lot of places Hyorin actually goes to. In fact, the only place they could think off was the little bench at the park, where Soyou and Dasom decided to go to. Ailee and Sunggyu were left finding another place by themselves. They had already taken a car trip around Seoul just to think of ideas.

"..." The older man continued to stay silent, drawing circles on his lap with his fingertips. By then, Ailee was getting rather pissed to be talking to thin air.

"Ya, can you just say something? I feel like I'm talking to a wall!" She grunted, dropping all of her formalities. She knew it was rude, but she also knew that Sunggyu won't mind. They are close, after all. "The world won't end if you say something!"

"Is it possible..." Sunggyu mumbled, grabbing the attention of Ailee quickly.

"What?" She said, a little surprised to hear a reply.

"Is it possible... to hurt someone twice?"

Ailee pulled up at the next carpark a short while later to take a breather. She looked at Sunggyu, whose face was covered with tears, and wondered when did he even start to cry. It was rather weird seeing a man cry in front of her, considering how most men would hide their tears in order to look strong. Being the leader of Infinite, it must have been natural to stay strong in the presence of s, but she wondered how much pain he had to hold back.

Hyorin held back a lot.

"Would you... like to tell me everything?" She asked cautiously, her tone definitely softer than before. "It isn't good to hold everything back."

"..."

"C'mon, oppa. It's not nice seeing you in this state. It won't hurt to share." Much to Ailee's relief, the older one started to talk, letting everything out of his system. He told her about the incident when he and Hyorin were young, to the more recent incidents like what happened earlier on. Throughout the time he spoke, Ailee kept a straight face on, neither showing surprise nor disapproval. It brought him both fear and relief, not knowing how she would react once he's done. As he finished his last sentence, Sunggyu lowered his head in shame, holding back the tears that threatened to fall again. Holding his breath, he waited for the words to come flying out of , words of disappointment and disbelief.

The result was nothing that he had imagined.

He felt the warm arms of the slender woman encircling him, bringing him into her embrace. He found his head resting perfectly on her shoulder, such an inviting position to let go.

"Go ahead," Ailee gently whispered, patting his back. "Don't hold it in." With the magic words, Sunggyu sobbed profusely on her shoulder, burying his face into the arch, as the young woman softly patted and rubbed his back. It stayed like that for a couple of minutes, till his sobs were reduced to muffled sniffs. Only then did Ailee let go, regaining her posture on her seat.

"Sorry." Sunggyu apologised, looking at the wet spot on her shoulder. He felt bad making such a mess there, and having her sit through the entire way in an uncomfortable position while comforting him.

"Don't worry," Ailee said, giving him a smile as she inspected the 'damage'. "This can easily be washed off." Ramaging through her bag beside her, she fished out her packet of tissues and handed him a piece. "It harder to heal a broken heart."

Sunggyu took the tissue gratefully and dabbed his swollen eyes, before using it to blow his nose. "Yejin?"

"Yes?"

"Was it really wrong to love Hyorin?"

"Hm..." Ailee took in that food for thought. "I don't think you're in the wrong."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It hard to control love. It just happens. Love is complicated. It can change enemies to soul mates, best friends to betrayers. It wasn't wrong for you to love her, but it simply weren't meant to be."

"Then... who is?"

"Who knows?" Ailee refastened her seatbelt, getting Sunggyu to do the same. They still got a girl to find.

"Maybe she's closer than you think."

How hard was it to find a girl's diary?

A lot harder than L thought it would be.

Both he and Bora spent half and hour trying to find that notebook, but Hyorin seemed to have kept it awfully well. Drained, L flopped onto Hyorin's bed and sighed. "Why is it so hard to find a book."

"For your info," Bora commented, grabbing his ankles, "you're on a girl's bed." Giving a sharp tug, L was sent upper-back first on to the ground, causing him to groan loudly.

"Hey! That hurt noona!"

"Well who told you to get on Hyorin's bed." Bora chirped, praising herself for a job well done. "As much as we are together in this search, that doesn't give you permission to break the dorm rules."

"Yeah yeah.. Let's just get back to finding the book." L pouted, causing Bora to roll her eyes. Immature Myungsoo was still the worst side of him out of all of his charms. "Isn't there a place where girls usually keep their diaries?"

"Yes, on their beds." Bora replied, folding the blanket L messed up again. Hyorin would freak if her things weren't organised. 

"Then why isn't hers on her bed?"

"She wanted to keep it hidden, remember?" Picking up Hyorin's pillow and fluffing it, Bora stopped short, squeezing it slowly and shaking it slightly. "Maybe it IS on her bed." After looking at the it thoroughly, she tugged on the zipper of the pillowcase and pull it down, shaking the contents out right after. Beside the actual pillow, a green notebook fell out along with it.

Found it.

"Seriously, how did you do that?!" L asked in awe, as he picked up the book. It was the size of an A5 exercise book, being pretty thick too. Judging from the condition, it's probably at least a few years old. Good.

"Let's just get down to business, shall we?" Bora took the diary out of Myungsoo's hands, earning another pout and the evil eye from the young man, and flipped through the pages briskly. She jammed her finger in between the pages which caught her eye, which a few drops of brown liquid stained the lined page.

Or maybe it wasn't brown in the first place.

August 28 2012

This was my first ever experience. I had never experience so much relief being in pain. Fortunately, the girls were out today. I cannot imagine how they would react seeing their leader like this. But what else could I do?

It hurts.

She was cutting herself... Myungsoo looked up to find Bora's silent tears rolled down her cheeks. She never knew that Hyorin was still worried about them in her pain. They continued to flip backwards to look at earlier entries.

August 5 2012

He left me. I can't believe that he left me! It seems that I really didn't believe then, I mean, look at the cuts all over me! Bora unnie went to wash up after cleaning me and the room up. I feel so bad for her, having to do all this while I try to mend my own shattered heart. Should I tell her? Maybe not. After all, it's over.

So why does my heart still ache?

"That was the day of the Soju bottle incident." Bora mumbled to herself, wiping the tears of her face. But who was the man in the entry. Did she had a Boyfriend Bora never knew about?

June 10 2012

That was close! I can't believe Bora almost caught me. Was it really that obvious? I still have to keep it a secret though. Our dating ban hasn't been lifted yet. Ah! <3 Can't wait to meet him next week!!!

Bora sat down slowly on to Hyorin's bed. Everything was hard to digest. You had a boyfriend?! Why didn't you tell us? Why did you choose to kept it bottled inside for so many months and days? Tears flowed down her cheeks again. We could have been there for you.

"It's okay." L took hold of his noona's shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "We'll find her. And nothing like a little dose of SISTAR can't fix!" He smiled as Bora let a chuckle. He didn't like to see his noona so down, though it a pretty urgent situation now to find Hyorin. L looked through the more recent entries slowly. She definitely became happier after sometime, judging from the writing... no way.

"L, is something wrong? You look pale." L stood dead still, hardly breathing at all.

"Noona, I got to go." Myungsoo said quickly, passing the book to Bora.

"Go? Go where?"

"I think I know where she is." L ran out of the room, leaving no time for Bora to reply. He felt so stupid for not realising at all. 

Wait for me, Hyojung.

I'm not going to lose you again.

30 August 2013

Spending a night in the hospital, again. Fortunately, I had left this in my bag. It would be so awkward asking Bora to get my diary in my pillowcase. I finally remembered something about him. His name start with 'Myung'. It won't be long before I find him.

And be together, under our maple tree.

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Sorry about the late update. Writer's block. :P

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