Sungjong’s POV

I don’t know how long I squatted in front of Myungsoo-hyung’s door until he finished destroying his kitchen. I heard him growls, screams and sobs along with every toss of broken things, until it stop. But not long after that I heard another thing being destroyed, this time the sound is clearer, he might be doing it at the living room. And whatever he throw this time, it smashed the wall and it’s broken into pieces. After that it’s silent. An uncomfortable silent last for a few minutes before I can hear him screaming and sobbing again.

Please stop it hyung!

Along with every screams, I can feel my heart is crumble inside. It hurt me so much to hear how much my hyung suffered right now. I shouldn’t say what I said earlier, I regret it now. I know how hard it must be for him to know the fact. I’m fully understood how he feel right now, and I blame myself for it. What I’ve been doing earlier is like saying ‘Dude, you’re gay!’ to his face. And someone with an overflowing pride like he is, can’t take it that lightly of course. I should’ve known better, I should’ve pick a right moment to mention those kind of thing, and when he is angry is not a right moment at all.

But again, I never really have an intention to confess after all. If those unfortunate even never happen, I might as good as take my feeling to the grave.

And now it silent inside, a total silent that make me worried. I pray, I cried and I pray that whatever happen, he’s not gonna hurt himself. Anything hyung, just don’t hurt yourself.

After an hour –that feels like a decade to me- I decide to come inside. It’s a total mess at the kitchen when I took a glance on it, and I figure it out that the last thing that he throws at the living room was his iPad. I walk to his room –he never closed his bedroom door, so that Alpha can get in or out easily- and saw him sleeping. I saw him hugging Alpha, and Alpha is whimpering while looking at me, as if he too feels sad for his hyung. I know Alpha, it’s my fault that he became like this.

So I came closer, caressing Myungsoo-hyung’s hair, and noticed that he had a tears trail on his cheek, and a swollen eye bag, aftermath of a heavy crying. I drop my tears again; it hurt me so bad to look at this pathetic scene of my beloved one. Can’t take it anymore, I decided to get out from his room and start to clean the mess.

It took me more than an hour –and a few cuts at my fingers from the broken glasses- to clean up all the mess. And when I’m done, it’s already morning, so I go home.

The day after, I made a kimbab in the morning and take it to Myungsoo-hyung’s apartment. Only to find out that he haven’t doing any activities since the last time I leave his apartment –everything is still the same as I left- and it halted me for a while. I walk up to his room and assuring myself that he was just sleeping and nothing bad happen. So I walk out again and found Alpha whining for food.

So I put down the kimbab at the dining table, write note on it and taking Alpha with me. And I guess I need to cook for Myungsoo-hyung every morning.

And so it does, I make a food for him, and bring it to his apartment early in the morning before he wake up. Until one morning I found a note on the table, saying that I don’t need to bring anymore food for him.

It can be good and it can be bad, but I stop anyway.

The next 3 days I’ve done nothing; I’m not coming to bring food, nor checking on him, and definitely no text coming from Myungsoo-hyung. I’m curious, but I don’t think he would appreciate it if I text him first. To be truth, I can sense that something is wrong with Myungsoo-hyung, but I don’t find any necessity to check on him. Until I suddenly receive a text:

Sungjong?

Umph~ yes I am, who is this?

Myungsoo’s father.

Hi Sir, how can I help you?

Are you in the vet right now?

Yes I am sir.

It closed at 6PM right?

Yes it is Sir.

Are going to the café tonight?

No Sir, I don’t play today.

Good, I’ll be at the coffee shop across yo