Tiffany’s POV

I woke up this morning feeling exhausted. Not just exhausted physically, but emotionally. Crying can put my body through so much stress. These are one of the many reasons why I don’t cry often. It’s a waste of effort, and most importantly, a waste of time.

I searched for my iPhone on the dresser - by searching I mean not putting the effort to actually get out my bed and properly grab my item of choice, but instead choosing to put all my energy to slam my hand against the tabletop until I find what I am looking for - as I slowly started to rise from my soft, cozy mattress. Leaving my bed felt like I was leaving heaven: comforting, warming, and welcoming.

As I grabbed my iPhone I slid my thumb over the smudged screen to check the time. “5:30 am,” I cracked in my morning voice. I groaned at the time. I knew I should be rewarding myself with some hard-earned sleep, but today was a Thursday. Today being Thursday means school. School means unnecessary, useless work - besides chemistry - but it also means I have to see and put up with Siwon. My ex-boyfriend.

Could this day get any worse?

I tossed my phone towards my bed as I rummaged through my closet to find a towel and a change of clothes. After I acquired those items I stomped over to my bathroom to take a long, hot, therapeutic shower. I prayed for a good day.

As I cleansed myself, I thought about how this day was going to go and how I should approach it. Was I supposed to just pretend things never happened between Siwon and me? Or, should I activate “ Mode” or something?

I scratched my head in confusion, letting the foam from the shampoo replenish my long, dark chocolate hair and seep into my dried scalp. “Maybe the products are messing with my thoughts.” I laughed. Finally, after what felt like long hours of pondering, I couldn’t come up with an answer to my question. I replied and sighed, “I guess I just have to see what today brings,” in defeat.

After my shower, I felt renewed. It was as like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. This feeling continued on as I wiped the water from myself with a soft towel, then putting on my clothes, and some make-up. To boost my self-esteem further I walked over to the mirror and looked at myself. I was wearing my navy-blue sweater that complimented my apricot colored skin. My denim jeans fit the lower extremities of my body very well. Not to forget, it brought out the best part of my body, which just happened to be my .

As I was checking myself out I let out a laugh to reply to this self-awkward, but uplifting situation. “Damn,” I teased my ego while attempting different body poses. “I look hot.” I chuckled at my own compliment as I tried to gather my materials for school. I looked at the clock in my room. The time was: “6:20 am”. I still had some time left to grab a bite to eat.

I walked over to the kitchen and grabbed myself some breakfast. Nothing fancy really.  Just a warm, fluffy, Eggo waffle, fresh from my toaster. As I was eating my delicious waffle I heard my phone’s ringtone go off in my room.

Baffled by my phone’s sudden outburst I sped over to my niche and picked my phone off of the bed. “Who could be calling me?” I questioned. I turned my attention over to my phone and I couldn’t believe who was calling me right now.

My thumb hovered over the answer button on my phone. I debated whether to answer it or decline it, but habit took over and my thumb grazed the green icon. Shocked, I slowly brought my phone up to my ear. I only heard silence on the other line. Apprehensively, I breathed, “Hello?” The silence continued again. Panicking, I tensely said, “Hello?” for the second time.

“Tiffany.” The other person on the line replied.

I gulped loudly. I knew that this was going to happen. I knew it. I knew what this person was going to say. “We, need to talk. Now.”  were the words I didn’t want to hear right now.

But to no avail those words were said. In hearing these toxic words, I felt my heart sink deep into the depths of a never-ending black hole.

I regained my courage and responded with, “Fine, all right. Sure.” and the conversation ended there.

“That was Siwon.” My mind sighed.

The feeling of having the weight of world lifted off my shoulders didn’t last very long and in knowing this I had to talk to Siwon today. Great. More stress, more weight, more unnecessary things. Just when I thought I was going to be free. Maybe I was being a little too hopeful and naive.

As I gathered my things, I swiped my keys off the counter and headed to my car. I opened the door, got in, and rested my head against the upper cushion of the seat. I closed my eyes to relieve some stress. I let out a tiny sigh as I put the key in the ignition. The sound of engine described my feelings at the moment: loud, roaring, angry, and enraged.

“Ugh,” I heavily sighed to myself while I felt a migraine creep into my head because of the irrelevant hassle I have to deal with today. As I was driving on my way to school I screamed angrily, “ Siwon! Do I have to deal with your crap today?”

While in the process of violent yelling, I caught myself almost running a red light. I floored on the breaks just in time, but not enough to realize that I lightly - at least I hope I hit it lightly - hit the car right in front of mine. Scared, I rolled down my window and screamed, “I’m sorry!”

To my surprise, the man getting out of the left side of the car that I just hit was Siwon. I wasn’t entirely shocked at this little accident since it was Siwon, but when someone else came out on the other side of the car, every organ in my body stopped functioning properly. The other man that was accompanying Siwon…

That man was his father.

“This day just became worse.” I felt uneasy anticipation start to slowly build up inside of me. I tried to pray for my soul to calm me down, but I don't think my sanity could take it. "Time to face the music."

Taeyeon’s POV

“Meet me in the courtyard. We need to talk.”

I closed my phone viciously after I sent Leeteuk that text. I crossed my arms and looked towards the car window. My dad noticed the change in my behavior. I saw from the corner of my eye that my dad had a worried expression on his face. He was about to say something, but I stopped him by grabbing his hand to assure him that I was okay. Shocked by my sudden action, he smiled and gently squeezed my palm. As we arrived to the entrance of the school he kissed me on my forehead and gave me reassuring look that showed me that he loves me.

I exited the car and watched my dad leave. As a final gesture, I waved goodbye with the cheesiest grin on my face. My temporary happiness quickly changed to sudden anger when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.  I didn’t even have to check who the text was coming from. I knew it was Leeteuk.

I dashed into the school. I knew I wasn’t heading to any of my classes today. I needed to talk to him right now because if I didn’t I knew I was going to go berserk. I don’t think that anybody wants to see me kill a right now because of my naturally welcoming demeanor.  When I get worked up, es better watch out.

As I entered through the doors that welcomed the student body to the courtyard I started to feel ill. My body felt like it started to shut down: My heart was palpitating very fast, my pulse was racing against my heart and that caused me to lose my train of thought, my breaths became ragged and my walk started to stagger. I guess this feeling is normal when you have to talk to the person you hate. Or if you’re in my case, the ex-boyfriend who just broke up with you especially over a text message. “What a ”, I whispered as I cautiously approached Leeteuk. 

There he was, leaning up against the beautiful cherry blossom tree, the centerpiece of the courtyard. Him of all people had no right to taint that tree with his horrific personality. I as walked towards him, morbid thoughts piled into my head. The only positive one that came out was remorse I felt for the tree.

He turned his head towards my direction and gave me his stupid half-smirk. I wanted to punch his smirk right off his face, but I have to be civil here. “No fun in that though.” I huffed.

There we were, standing face to face. My expression of hate versus his expression of confusion. Leeteuk stared me down with his frazzled eyes while my hostile gaze pierced into his soul. He flinched in retaliation. I knew that got to him. He knew that when I’m mad he would barely stand a chance against my rage. We stood in a tense, awkward silence. I knew he didn’t like these types of situations and he would take the initiative to be in control. However, today, I am.

“Taeyeon…” Leeteuk stuttered. “I-I am-“

I couldn’t take “being civil” anymore. I let my anger and hatred towards Leeteuk take over me. As he tried to finish his sentence I interrupted him by grabbing his shoulders and violently pushing him towards the tree. He winced at the pain. I chuckled at his vulnerability. I stood over him and then I looked over to the tree. I made it a mental note to apologize to the towering plant hovering over us later.

Leeteuk tried to pull himself together, but to no avail. I did whatever I could to keep him down on the ground feeling how I felt: Ridiculed, humiliated and worthless.

As he tried to get up I clutched his shirt and looked at him dead in the eyes. “Explain yourself Leeteuk!” I screamed in his face, seeing him wince at the tone of my voice. Noticing his weakness, I continued my venting. “You broke up with me over a text message? What are you? A ing ?”

He turned his gaze over to avoid eye contact with me. He knew he was physically strong enough to beat me, but he knows that he can’t hit me. It’s not because that I’m a woman, it’s the fact that he knows I’m stronger than him in other aspects. Like I said before, when I get worked up, es better watch out.

“So explain yourself,” I ordered him as I loosened my grip from his shirt. “…Now.”

He gulped and looked at me with a regretful expression. “Let go of me first…” he pleaded, “and I’ll tell you why I broke things off with you.”

Complying, I let go of his collar and he continued on. “Look I broke up with you b-because…” he stuttered.

“Why?” I interjected with a disapproving look on my face.

“Let me finish Taeyeon!” Leeteuk said in an annoyed tone. I huffed at his actions and let him finish his thought with no interruption from me. He took a deep, shaky breath and started to speak.

“Look I broke things off with you because I can’t be in a relationship with you. I’m heading off to the army in a couple of months and being in a committed relationship is hard. I have enjoyed the times that we have spent together, but you have to understand that I can’t spend time with you because you’re not my priority. As much as I want you to be, you can’t. My priorities for a while are going to be serving my country. So please Taeyeon, take the opportunity to understand me.”

While listening to him, I could see him starting to break down. I felt sympathetic towards him. “He put a lot of thought into this.” I sadly whispered to myself. He pursued with his speech.

“I really like you Taeyeon, I do. I want to spend every waking moment with you, but I can’t. I don’t want to be one of those guys who don’t see there girlfriend for months and the only way they have to communicate to each other is through letters. And I don’t know when I’ll even get those when you send them.”

He had a point. We wouldn’t spend a lot of time with each other and the communication between us would only be brief. I didn’t like this guy the way he liked me, but hearing this made me feel even sorrier for him.

“I want you to be free and not be attached to me. I don’t want you be committed to me if I can’t give myself to you and dedicate my time to something else. So please Taeyeon… I just…” he wiped his tears from his face. “I’m sorry for breaking up with you over text. I didn’t know how to approach you and… Just.. I’m so sorry, please forgive me.”

After hearing his speech I felt ashamed in myself. I threw out all of the negative conceptions about him, walked over to his direction, and embraced his muscular physique. Shocked by my actions, Leeteuk returned the hug by wrapping his comforting, large, muscular arms around me. I started to cry in the crook of his shoulder. In hearing my sobs, Leeteuk kissed my forehead to comfort me. “I forgive you Leeteuk.” I sobbed. “And… I’m sorry.” He pulled me away from his body and looked at me with forgiving eyes.

“Better just as friends?” Leeteuk said with a bittersweet tone as he stuck his pinky out towards me. Laughing at his childish act I interlocked my pinky with his and promised, “Yeah, just as friends.”