Pain (Seungri's POV)

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I don’t know how long have I been walking on this dark endless tunnel. I’m shivering, it’s really cold here. I’m trembling from fear, and there’s only one name that I continuously called, it’s Jiyongie. I’m not sure what I will see or who I will meet in the end of the tunnel, but I want it to be our apartment, and I want him to welcome me at the end of this tunnel.

 

“Jiyongie, are you there?” But there’s no answer, I’m all alone in this tunnel.

 

I start to cry and still I continue to walk. It’s still fresh in my memory how I lay weakly on top pile of trash alone after got beaten up by the scary bouncers. But I managed to open my eyes, to stand up and ended up here. I’m not quite sure how I ended up here, though. There was no one around, so I just walk mindlessly.

 

My whole body is still aching and I can’t stop shivering. I have no idea why it is so cold. I’ve also been scrunching up my face from holding the pain. I need Jiyong, I want him to hold me.

 

“Jiyongie, it’s cold here…”

 

As expected, there’s still no answer. Only my breathing sound can be heard in this tunnel. I continue to cry and walk, hoping to see the end soon. I’m actually not sure whether I’m dying or I’m being led to Jiyong’s arm. But one thing to be sure, I want the pain to stop.

 

 

--

 

 

I have been panting badly for God knows how long, and I decide I’ll rest for a while. I lie down and groan because I can feel my ribs are cracking. I don’t know why but it’s even more painful now that I lie down. It’s like I’m being tingling by knives. I start to sweat and I can hear something buzzing in my ears.

 

I feel dizzy and sick; my whole body is aching more and more. I try to stand up; thinking that if I continue walking the pain will go away or at least diminish. But I can’t even move. It’s like something holding my body down so I can’t move. I cry loudly, feeling weak. I don’t even have controls of my body anymore.

 

Right now I can only think of Jiyong and wonder what he’s doing. Is he crying? Is he doing fine? Is he cold? Has he been calling my name? Can he sleep soundly tonight?

 

I groan again as I feel something is stabbing my stomach. I can only pray it will end. I can’t die now; I haven’t fulfilled my wish; to make Jiyong happy. I haven’t done anything for him; all that I have been doing is only hurting him.

 

“Jiyongie…I’m sorry…”

 

I cry and I close my eyes as the pain continues. I can’t give up now, I have to continue walking. I have to go home to Jiyong. I need him and he needs me. But the pain gets stronger and I can’t move a little bit.

 

“Jiyongie, I’ll be home to you soon…”

 

I close my eyes, giving up to the pain once more.

 

 

--

 

 

“It’s already late, Seunghyun-ah. Go to sleep.”

 

“I’ll go to sleep a little later, I’m still reading this.”

 

“You can continue reading that tomorrow.”

 

I looked to him, “Can I finish at least until this chapter ends?”

 

He shook his head, “Unfortunately no, Mr. Lee.”

 

“Why is that, Mr. Kwon?”

 

“Because I can’t sleep with the lights on and if I’m not holding you.”

 

I grabbed his hands and put it onto my chest, “You look really cute right now.”

 

He frowned, “Stop reading now, I want to sleep.”

 

I laughed, “Alright, alright. I’ll stop reading now for my Mr. Kwon.”

 

He smiled a little and my heart stopped. “Wow, Mr. Kwon, you’re so handsome.”

 

“Stop it, just go to sleep.”

 

“Alright, your wish is my command.” I put down my book and turned off the light. I lay down and he immediately hugged me. I smiled, loving the feeling.

 

“Jiyongie?”

 

“Hm?” he answered lazily.

 

“I love you, Mr. Kwon.”

 

He laughed a little, “I love you too, Mr. Lee.”

 

 

--

 

 

I open my eyes only to see that I’m still alone in this dark tunnel. The pain starts to diminish but it still hurts. Well, at least I can move now. I stand up and I continue walking again. I seriously have no idea how long it will take to the end of the tunnel; to Jiyong.

 

I miss his face, his kiss, and even our arguments that we’d have once in a while. I miss my Jiyongie very much; I’m dying from missing him. I regret my decision not to go home after I visited my mom, I really do. If I could turn back times I would go home straight to Jiyong.

 

I want to see his loving eyes, I want to see his beautiful face, and I want to love him for the rest of my life. I sigh, still wondering what is my Jiyongie doing right now. I hope he’s not drinking and doing real fine until I’m home to him. I’ll make up everything that I messed. I promise.

 

“Jiyongie, do you think of me?”

 

I talk to darkness; it has been only me alone in this horrifying tunnel. I continue to walk but I start to stumble again. I feel sick, I want to throw up. I shiver, I feel extremely cold. I hold my own body and try to continue walking but I fall.

 

I throw up blood and I feel my whole body aching; ten times more painful than before. I groan and I throw up more blood. I’m horrified with my own doing and I cry weakly. I can’t die now; I still have to go home.

 

I try to stand up but I keep stumbling and the pain getting more intense. I fall down again, and even though I don’t want to give up again to the pain, I still giving up. I close my eyes as I call for Jiyong.

 

 

--

 

 

“Jiyong? Jiyong?”

 

I walk into our apartment; it’s pitching black inside. I start to get worried because Jiyong is not answering my call. I walk to switch the lights on, and as soon as the lights on, I see everyone is here and cheering me.

 

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!”

 

They rush to me and seconds later I’m being hug by everyone. I can only laugh; happy from being surprised by my friends.

 

“Whose idea it is?”

 

Someone coughs and I know right away; it’s Jiyong’s voice. “Mine.”

 

Everyone cheers in low voice and teases me. I feel like in middle-school again. I blush very badly as Jiyong walks closer toward me. He stops right in front of me and he too is blushing.

 

“Happy birthday, Seunghyun-ah.”

 

I lower my head, don’t know what to do. My whole face turns red from blushing. People around us start to cheer and tease us again.

 

“Kiss him! Kiss him! Kiss him!”

 

Jiyong holds my chin up and the audiences cheer more intense. “Should I kiss the birthday boy?” Jiyong asks the audience jokingly.

 

“Kiss him! Kiss him! Kiss him!”

 

“Alright, it’s for the loving audience.” He laughs and he kisses me. It’s not just a simple peck, but a passionate kiss. I swear if it’s only us two I’d make love to him now. Fortunately I still have some senses.

 

Jiyong’s always acting like a leader in public. He only acts vulnerable in front of me, if it’s us alone I’ll be the one to make him tremble. When we stop kissing, I hug him and I whisper jokingly to him, “I’ll eat you tonight.”

 

He blushes and we finally begin the party.

 

 

--

 

 

I wake up to Jiyong’s voice. I swear I just heard him screaming my name. I look around, but there’s no one. Just then I hear him calling my name again.

 

“Seunghyun-ah, help me.” His voice is weak.

 

“Jiyongie?! Where are you?!” I run in panic, looking for him.

 

“Please stop!” he’s screaming again.

 

I start to cry, “Jiyongie! Where are you?! What’s happening?”

 

“No, please stop.” His voice is weakened.

 

I ignore the pain that has been killing me and run as fast as I can. I run and run, but there’s still no end in this darn tunnel. Jiyong continues to scream for help, he continues screaming my name.

 

“Seunghyun-ah, please help me…” his voice keeps getting weaker and weaker, he’s even crying right now.

 

“Jiyongie! Please answer me! Where are you?!”

 

And it stops. It stops like just like that. I have no idea what’s happening to him or what have just happened to him. I swear if something bad happen to him I’d better die. I fall down on my knees and continue to cry. I feel worthless and useless; I can’t be there to help him when he’s in need.

 

I pull my hair and I start punching myself. I don’t care even though it hurts me even worse, I don’t care. Jiyongie is hurt by someone and I can’t stop it. I can’t help him. He sounded so weak and helpless.

 

I scream, filling the tunnel with it. I clench my hands tightly and I continue to walk. I’m burning up with anger and frustration. I’ll find the end of this tunnel. I’ll find it and I’ll be home straight to Jiyong.

 

“Jiyongie, please wait for me a little more, no one can ever hurt you again. I promise.”

 

 

--

 

 

I still can’t find the end of the tunnel, and I keep on getting weaker. I lie down and continue crying. I’m scared to be alone, I’m worried about Jiyong, and the pain is killing me. I want to give up, but once I think about Jiyong I stand up again, determined to find the end.

 

I have promised him I’ll be home soon, and I will. I’ll protect him with all my might; no one can hurt him again.

 

“Jiyongie…” I close my eyes, exhaling.

 

“I’m here, Seunghyun-ah…please open your eyes…”

 

 

I stand up in disbelief, and suddenly there are some lights blinding my eyes. I cover my eyes with my right hand, and walk into the light. Jiyong’s voice leads me to the light, and I can only hope.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Comments

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pandari_1212 #1
Chapter 18: Awww just read on 2020
I hope you will come back to create another amazing story :)
Tigerlily319 #2
Chapter 8: Okay, being a VIP, knowing Bae’s Personality, even for the sake of this storyline is quite difficult to beleive. Not that it’s hard to believe He can Love GD (well a little hard because of how long He’s been dating Min Hyo-rin now) so there is a small window there that they can love each other in that sense. Except, it’s just impossible for me to believe He would ever take advantage of GD like that. I had to skip those parts.
Tigerlily319 #3
Chapter 4: I don’t know where this writing is going, however, I don’t think I can take anything happening to Panda again. The Feels are too much. <Sigh> This Emotional Roller-coaster.
Tigerlily319 #4
Chapter 2: For the Love of...... I’ve f’in gone through a whole Box of Tissues and am only on Chapter 2. I’m so sad, sad for GD, sad for Panda and sad for BB. Besides some gramatical errors, despite it being really sad, you’re writing is quite good so Thank you for writing & sharing. It’s Crazy that you wrote this Before his real car accident (Thank God He didn’t get too injured). Like a strange Premonition.
ruthyou7 #5
Chapter 18: Love this story!!!!
sajerry #6
Chapter 15: Owww so sweet.I love it so much.
vododoll #7
Chapter 17: OMG WooooW .... I will cry this is amazing ... I loooove the story ... Please make another Gri fanfic pleaseeee
diamondgurl88
#8
Chapter 18: OMFG
that was a akshsksvaka HAWT
MY GRI FEELS AJSHEUBWJSGSKSVS
Ugh i just loved this story so much.
Write more gri or todae story juseyo^^
Well done author nim.
Great story. Love! <3
ElinaGwen
#9
Chapter 18: authornim....the vows...ohmyGod....i was crying while reading them...it felt so sincere...ohmyGod..Another GRi fic?Yay!thank u so much!