He sits next to me and hands me a bottle of water. I take it as I thank him for bringing me water. I open the bottle and gulp it down right away.

“I didn’t know you’re this thirsty.”

“I have never been this tired.” I pant, “I didn’t know singing and dancing could be this exhausting.”

He laughs, “I’ve been doing this for years, long before you join.”

“Yes, with Jiyong hyung.”

“Yes, with him. I think you know we were supposed to debut as duo.”

“Of course I know. I did some research.”

He laughs, “Good thinking.”

“Yeah.” I smile shyly.

“Do you like him?”

I look at him, “Who?”

“Jiyong.”

“Of course, who doesn’t?”

“I know, right?” he smiles, “Why don’t you try talking to him?”

“I don’t think he’d want talking to me.”

“You haven’t even tried!”

“I know, but, it’s impossible.”

“Why is it impossible? He’s your band-mate just like me.”

“Because he’s different; he’s way out of my league. He’s unreachable.”

“What makes him out of your league?”

“Hmm…him.”

“He makes himself out of your league?”

“He’s just different.”

“I don’t think I understand.”

“Look, he has this star quality while I don’t, he has these undeniable charms.” I look at him, trying to explain, “He’s one of a kind, you see. Even though I’m his band-mate just like you, I can’t be close to him.”

“I conclude you think he’s arrogant?”

“Pretty much, yes.”

He laughs and he pats my back, “Just try talking to him. He’s not as arrogant as you think he is.”

“I can’t, he doesn’t like me.”

“Who told you that?”

“I just knew it. He doesn’t like me here. He always wanted to debut as GDYB.”

He laughs again, “He did, but…” he looks at me, “Just try talking to him.”

--

“Jiyongie, let’s go back to the dance studio before they find us here.”

“I’ll stay here for a while. I kind of miss this room.” He smiles at me.

“Alright, don’t take too long. I’ll wait you there.”

I close the door and I head down to the dance studio. I touch the wall as I walk down the corridor. This building has so many memories of my trainee days and the days when I think Jiyongie is an arrogant person. I smile, thinking how stupid I was. I didn’t dare to look at him at all back then.

When he talked to me I’d stare at the walls behind him, not daring to look him in the eyes. He’d scold me for doing that; he’d scold me for everything I do. It seemed like everything I do was wrong. It frustrated me until I found out the reason behind it.

I stop in front of the door to the balcony. I smile at it, and walk to the balcony. This was where he confessed. It was late at night and we couldn’t sleep. I close my eyes, living the memory once again.

--

Someone opened the door and I quickly wiped my tears. I was crying because I was depressed; it was hard living as a trainee and a maknae. Plus, I was in the state of denial. I was in denial of being gay. I sighed and turned around only to find Jiyong was the one who opened the door.

“Ah, it’s you.”

“Ye-yes, but I’m going inside. Good night, hyung.”

“What’s the rush? We can talk for a while.” He coughed, “I want to be closer with you.”

I gasped, not knowing what to say. I was afraid he’d find out who I really am.

“But it’s already late, hyung. We should-”

“Just sit down, I won’t nagging you.” He smiled.

I nodded and sit next to him without saying a word. I kept my head down; as if I’m afraid that I’d die if I look directly at him.

“Don’t be afraid of me,” he laughed a little, “I won’t bite.”

I looked up to him, wanted to laugh but I’m still afraid of him. He was shining, and for the first time I saw him smiling at me.

“So, how’s life?”

“Good, and what about you, hyung?”

“Don’t lie. I saw you crying.”

I stutter, “I’m doing well.”

 He stared at me, “You’re the youngest and I want to treat you better as my dongsaeng.” He smiled, “Now, what bothers you?”

I looked at him and I suddenly burst out in tears; I was sobbing pathetically in front of him. He hugged me and patted the back of my head without saying a word. I felt calm and at ease; I felt safe. We stayed in that position for about ten minutes, until I stopped crying.

I let go of him, “It’s hard.”

“I made it even harder for you, didn’t I?”

I shook my head, “No you did-”

“It’s alright, maknae.” He sighed, “I was wrong to treat you that way.”

“It-it’s alright, hyung. You have the rights to nag me.”

“I was just mad because I have been doing this for years, and when I thought I’m going to debut they canceled it.” He sighed again, “And you came.”

“I’m sorry, hyung.”

“No, don’t apologize. I am the one who should be apologizing. I have treated you very badly.”

“No, if I didn’t show up you-”

“I’d never met anyone…” his voice lowered and I couldn’t hear him.

“What is it, hyung?”

He looked at me and he sighed, “I like you.”

“I’m sorry?”

“I like you, like, like you.”

I gasped, didn’t expect this to happen. He looked at me again, “I nagged you all the time because I was in denial. I was in denial that I like you.” He looked away, “I love you, I want you to be my boyfriend.”

I coughed, trying to break the tense. “Well, uh…” I stutter, “I have always adored you as the leader in this group, and…”

He stopped me, “That’s enough. I know the answer already. You’ll think I’m a freak from now on.”

“But I haven’t finished,” I looked up to him, “I’m just as freak as you are.”

“What?”

“I like like you.” I grinned, “I want to be your boyfriend.”

--

I open my eyes and Jiyong hugs me from the back. I turn around and hugging him even tighter.

“I thought you’re already in the dance studio.”

“I was re-living the memory.”

“That time when I confessed?”

I nod, “Yes. I’m walking down the memory lane before we’re officially married.”

He sighs, “It all feels like only yesterday.”

“I know,” I sigh, “it’s amazing how time flies.”

He sighs and he let go of me. He smiles and he grabs my hand, “Let’s go downstairs before everyone panic.”

I laugh and I follow him along to the dance studio. When we arrive in the studio everyone has gathered and they don’t say a thing seeing us come late. I guess they have got used to our lateness. But that’s not the reason why they don’t say a word.

Youngbae is in the corner of the studio, sitting down with his head bowed. Jiyong grasp my hand tightly and slowly walking back; hiding behind me. I know how he must feel, he must feel scared. He was touched by that prick. I grasp his hand even tighter and I walk forward.

TOP holds me back and shakes his head; telling me not to do anything reckless. I sigh and I walk to other direction instead, calming Jiyong down. He’s literally shaking and he’s embracing his own body. He looks pale and it drives me mad, making me want to punch that prick again.

I walk over to Youngbae and once again TOP holds me back, “Seunghyun-ah, don’t.”

Just then he stands up and walks toward my direction. I clench my fist, preparing to punch him if he dares to say or do anything stupid.

“Hi, maknae.”

“So you do remember that you’re a part of this band.” I mock him.

He sighs, “Listen, I’m sorry. I was-”

“Apologize to Jiyong, not to me.”

“If you let me get closer to him I’d like to apologize to him in person.”

I turn around to see Jiyong, asking him if it’s okay for that prick get closer to him. Jiyong turns paler but still he nods; letting that prick get closer to him. I sigh and I walk him over to Jiyong, still clenching my fist in case anything happen.

He stops when he’s close enough to Jiyong and he kneels before him, “Jiyong-ah, I’m sorry. I was mad. I felt unfair because I was always there for you ever since our trainee days but you never noticed my-”

Jiyong raises his hand, telling him to stop. “Youngbae-ya,” he stutters really badly, “It-it’s alright. I understand.”

He smiles to Jiyong and he stands up immediately, “I hope we can be friends again.”

Jiyong looks up to him; now he’s less pale, “Sure we will.”

“I hope you’ll always be happy with Seunghyun. That will make me happy too.”

I snort, feeling sick of his sincere words toward my Jiyongie. I immediately sit next to Jiyong and hold his shoulder; showing off that Jiyong is mine. Jiyong smiles at me and he holds my hand.

He looks up again to Youngbae and he smiles to him, “I surely will be.”

Daesung claps his hand and he’s crying, “Oh God I’m so happy that we’re back like the old times.”

TOP holds him, “You fool, why you are crying over simple things?”

Daesung sighs, “You are so insensitive sometimes.”

“It’s not that. I’m happy too, but I hate it if you’re crying.” TOP coughs nervously, “You’re a smiling angel, remember?”

I’m about to laugh at their sweet talks but Jiyong shuts my mouth with his hands. “Now, shall we start our second session?”