The room was too clean and too neat.

People stiffly moved or never moved at all.

They’d glance at him and then look away, afraid he would freak out.

His legs jittered while he rubbed his hands together, his sight set on every point of the room, sharply turning to look behind him.

Don’t touch him, don’t hurt him, don’t speak, don’t touch.

Something could grab him; something could take him away instantly.

Stop being insane, one side of him would growl.

They’ll ing kill you, the other side drowned the other out.

This place wasn’t comfortable, but then again, he didn’t feel safe anywhere anymore. Home was a disastrous thought and leaving this room was a forbidden movement. He couldn’t go anywhere. He couldn’t be anywhere. He had to stay in one spot, hoping nothing would touch him.

  “Taemin,” a voice rumbled from across the room and the younger jumped, sharply turning to face the elder, “You’re safe now, Taemin, I’m here.”

  “Kapsoo,” Taemin shakily breathed, slightly recoiling as he stepped closer, “Kapsoo, I—I don’t feel well.”

The room was uncomfortably hot and he felt like keeling over. His panic wasn’t reaching a anytime soon and it made him feel liking dying. He hadn’t slept in a long time; he’s barely eaten; barely moved. He was crampy, irritable, but all the more, still frightened to the bone.

That thing was still there in his mind. The black marks crawling all over him and devouring him. His eyes flashing to brilliant white and staring him down, a growl from his lips as he came closer, planning to kill him instantly.

Taemin felt the scream crawl up his throat when his imagination twisted to his flesh being ripped apart from the monster and thrown in different directions, feeling all of the pain and splitting as any painkiller was stripped from him.

  “Leave me alone,” Taemin breathed, his fingernail scraping down the side of his face, hurting, trying to see reality, “Leave me alone, go away!”

Kapsoo reached out for Taemin and grabbed his hand, pulling it from his face forcefully, “Child, don’t do that.”

  “Stop!” Taemin screamed, his other hand dragging down his neck, surfacing blood under his skin, red lines scratching around him as he tried to pry the creature off of him, “Get off, I’ll do it myself!”

Kapsoo took his other hand and held them above his head, Taemin losing sanity and thrashing like a psychotic patient, screaming syllables without meaning, the tears springing into his eyes soundlessly.

  “He’s not here, Taemin,” Kapsoo firmly spoke to him in his face, “The monster is no where near you. We are all human. You trust me.”

Taemin didn’t stop thrashing. The men around wanted to help Kapsoo take charge, but he ordered them off—if they tried settling Taemin, the young one would be scarred further and progress would be even slower.

  “Taemin, you trust me,” Kapsoo repeated over and over, trying to convince the boy, “You’re safe.”

Taemin screamed louder without his fright. He was crying, sobbing loudly, slurs of wishful thinking passing his lips, wanting to feel like he was home, safe. Taemin just wanted to feel normal again—he wanted all the good things to happen to him.

Why was he always surrounded by the bad things? Why couldn’t he find sanctuary? Why couldn’t Minho be that?

  “I’m tired of it all!” he slurred loudly, still thrashing just as violently, “Why me?! Why me of all people, I’ve had enough of in my life! I want to be okay!”

Kapsoo kept still, waiting almost forever for Taemin to finally stop thrashing enough to give him back his arms, proving he wouldn’t abuse himself again.

Taemin pressed his palms to his scratches and winced, the tears hot on his skin making nothing better. Nothing was going to get better. Everything was going to get worse. Forever.

  “I want to die,” Taemin whispered in his hands, “I want to die easily. I can’t do this.”

Kapsoo sat in front of him, his eyes set on the boy, his face little by little contorting in emotion, “Taemin, I have the answer for you.”

  “I don’t want to forget,” Taemin firmly pressed his lips together, automatically regretting his words, “Forgetting would be great, but at the same time, it would be awful. I can’t put my finger on it,” Taemin sobbed into his hands again, “Why won’t I forget! Tell me why, Kapsoo!”

The elder leaned back in his chair, his tone very light to not scare him, “It’s the monster, Taemin. He’s still got a power over you, but it’s wearing off, don’t worry. You will be let go soon.”

  “I don’t feel this power,” Taemin grunted, stomping his foot, “It’s not a dictating force, Kapsoo—there’s something wrong with me alone.”

Kapsoo raised an eyebrow, his hands pulling together as curiosity slowly crawled up him, “How could it be you, child?”

Taemin’s hand turned to a fist and hit his thigh, clenching his jaw as he felt hysteria again, “I’ve been through so much that I thought it was over. I really thought it was completely over. So I let myself go. I started liking the world again. I started talking to people by fourth grade. I started pulling pranks and jokes on people. I started being normal.

  “But I’m not allowed to be normal,” Taemin rubbed his hand all over his face, wiping all the damp liquids, “I knew I wasn’t supposed to be, yet I didn’t listen. I let myself fall.”

Kapsoo leaned back in, studying Taemin, “Taemin, why are you afraid of the Daegrent if you think it’s not his fault?”

The younger kept quiet for a long time, his thoughts spinning in circles and clashing with each other on how to answer. Was it the monster or him?

He was scared senseless by this thing; it wanted to kill him, after all. It played a little trick on him and put him here; put him into misery. This thing made him realize he was supposed to live in the Hell on Earth before moving on below earth’s core. But should he really have known that? Couldn’t he keep pretending?

But then there was this. . . difference; and it was more than odd.

Seeing ‘Minho’ again had turned senseless Taemin into insane Taemin because he hadn’t seen a human, but the things Kapsoo told him. The human shell was only something to shed off; this human shell was something to attract people to, make ‘friends’ with, be by their side forever until they have the chance to snatch the soul up, eat it, and rip them to shreds alive or having their other ways with the human soul and body.

‘Minho’ could easily bust through that glass, and that’s all Taemin could think about.

And even though ‘Minho’ sounded pleadingly and so broken, Taemin could break past that barrier. Of course, he heard everything the creature said, but he wasn’t entirely listening.

But something still broke his own heart.

But then again, he felt the burn of Hell arising on his skin and he’d completely forget about it.

  “He’s a demon,” Taemin whispered, “He’s going to make me do things, hurt me, kill me, control me, all the things that the word torture posses. I can’t do it. He’ll be so cruel and never let me die. But that’s all I want. To die and get it over with. I don’t want to hurt anymore.”

  “But if you forget, you won’t feel this way anymore,” Kapsoo sternly reasoned.

Taemin shook his head, the tears spilling over once more, “What’s wrong with me, Kapsoo? Why can’t I do this?”

Why couldn’t he do it?

It wasn’t like he was in love with this creature.

He had no reason to give this creature any hope.

So why was he telling himself not yet?”

  “I think . . .” Taemin started answering himself, “When my parents left me, I was able to get past that. And when I lost my brother, I couldn’t let myself dwell on it because I still keep thinking I’ll find him one day—and for some reason, I can’t put a negative thought on that when I know I’ll never find him because I can’t even remember his name.

  “So I think . . . now that I’ve lost Minho—that I’ve lost to this creature being a part of my ‘everything’, I think . . .

  “I think I just want to start suffering again, yet, I don’t want my suffering to make me go insane like I am now.”

----Note~-----

Hi. c:

First off, the whole font/sizing thing for AFF is pissing me off HOW DO I TURN IT BACK TO THE WAY IT WAS. I DON'T LIKE THIS. EVERYTHING IS SO SKINNY.

Secondly, HELLO.

I REALIZE AN ETR CHAPTER ISN'T UP.

... So you can guess it's not updating this week.

Dear god, lemme tell you. I come home from school and SLEEP. I don't touch the computer ALL WEEK unless my freaking chemistry teacher gives us homework on google docs.

Hence, I don't write AT ALL.

I'm so upset because I have some things written down in my journal for the next chapter, but there's hardly anything there and I haven't typed it. ;A;

MY BAD.

But I'm giving you this as an apology/filler for the time being. Who knows, maybe if I don't sleep I'll start writing and have a chapter up by tomorrow or sometime in the week

(Lol, don't get hopes up)

ANYWAY WITH THIS CHAPTER:

As you can see //MOTIONS TO THE TITLE//, Taemin is not all gibberish and weak and blah blah to the blah.

He's literally able to speak sentences; I mean, he's still scarred and all, but when Minho's not around or the main subject, Taemin can be pretty sane. I mean, sure, he's hysterical, but he's still got some comprehention up there.

Now, no, I'm not saying in this chapter that Taemin is in love with Minho still. In all honesty, right now, he's absolutely not. 

Breaking your heart?

But yeah, he's not. He's way too stressed to even keep putting up with that. So he's in that regret-depression-kind-of-thing.

And I hope you all aren't too confused with this whole "Taemin's-lost-brother-and-gone-parents-crappy-life"  thing even though it was vaguely mentioned in chapter one. But don't worry. I have a chapter for here that explains that part.

(And no, Taemin's life wasn't all a wreck, he's just being a Drama Queen today.)

I think I've said enough confusing for one night.

So hope you enjoyed this filler and I promise a real chapter soon. <33333

Thank you to absolutely everyone!

~FlaMinhoe