( Taeyeon: And One [That Winter, The Wind Blows OST] )

The Queen held her newborn child in her hands as she stood on the balcony while dawn was peeking over the faraway, flat landscape. The child kept quiet in her sleep, the gentle rocking of her mother soothing her in her dreams.

Minji never looked away from her radiant child. After hours of pain, pushing, and the burn of her body, the miracle she carried in her womb for just barely over a year had finally made it to the welcome of the world. Minji wouldn’t dare not to adore her. This creature was beautiful in every which way and she drew Minji in just the way the child’s father had. The personal qualities silently greeted the Queen and the Queen knew her daughter was perfect.

With her daughter in her arms she found sense in truly who she was and whom she created. But still, the long centuries that have passed she still had a part of her lost. She lost connection to her brother long ago and it was never restored. There was never word about her brother or what he had been able to find in their desperation to cure the plague. The plague that has never been seen again since that dreadful day.

She smiled despite the thought. She may have not been able to connect with her brother, but she assured herself he was still alive and overworking himself. She may not been able to connect with her brother, but she still sent thoughts to whoever she could reach about the baby. She knew her brother knows about her daughter, for sure.

The past centuries had been easy yet still difficult for the creatures. Adjusting was no longer a problem to the land, but history was a taunting thought—creatures were cautious of any humans.

Yet there was no sight of humans in this land, in which gave creatures room to breathe for the time being. They all knew it would be soon the land would be discovered and their tracks would have to be covered; they couldn’t afford another epidemic.

Their empire was rebuilt and creatures rejoiced. It was still not the same as before; the empire layout was quite different from the last two times in hope if another issue occurred, they had a designated place of hideout, and it was found almost everywhere, influencing the way buildings were built.

Creatures were not as peaceful as before, either. Before, creatures worked together in harmony and never spat at each other. But the subject of ‘Politics’ was created a few years after settling. As much as Minji opposed breaking into these groups of opinions and just settling for the middle, creatures would spat at her—she was no King. Even though she possessed the power of the King, some sort of degradation followed their path to a new land. Where it came from, no one knows, but they did know they could never go back to the way they were, hence, politics was created.

But in the end, they all still came together for decision making and making way to help another. The Royals still passed on and were not spat open despite the mumbles of few creatures.

Three centuries had passed before Minji and Jongdae had decided to marry. Jongdae clearly knew how Daesung felt about him, and Minji always assure Jongdae that Daesung would approve quickly. Minji knew Jongdae was a gentle heart and a quick mind—and even though it was never about what qualities make a King or even the fact the bloodline of the Royals now included Warrants, it was what kept Jongdae confident about being a part of the Royal family.

Minji thought she never made any better choice than to hold hands with Jongdae. Whenever Minji was absolutely engulfed in anger, he was the one to force her out of it with just the touch of his healing hands. When Daesung prodded around in Minji’s dreams, he was the one to stop her from crying in a sense of loss. When Minji asked to keep her maiden name instead of taking after Jongdae, he was absolutely excited to be a ‘Kang’.

The two continuously grew together and now, a few decades after their marriage, their child was now in her arms asleep.

Minji was happy and content with how her life ended up, but with Daesung in the back of her mind she always felt a pang in her chest of losing her brother.

But she couldn’t do that anymore. She couldn’t let these thoughts drag her down. She had a daughter to focus on; it was no longer about herself. She had to give all her attention to everyone else as she was supposed to, especially the newborn as she grows up.

She held the baby close to her face and closed her eyes. The future never looked so bright behind dark eyelids. . .

A hand took Minji’s and she lifted her face away, Jongdae replacing that space to kiss his daughter on her forehead with a whisper of morning greetings.

  “Good morning,” he directed his words towards his wife, a quick kiss on her lips, “How do you feel?”

She smiled, rocking the baby again, “I will be fine in time. More so, I am alright.”

Jongdae stood behind Minji, allowing the shorter to lean back on him as they watched sun half past the faraway landscape, “Does she possess a name, yet?”

  “HaYi,” she breathed with a brief nod, “Kang HaYi.”

Jongdae nuzzled his face to Minji’s neck with a smile, “Kang HaYi.”

The family of three stood on the balcony until the sun lifted from the ground. Jongdae convinced Minji back to bed for sleep; even though she had to occasionally wake up for HaYi, she didn’t dispute about it. She was tired and was taking advantage of the opportunity for once. Being Queen could wait for later. Being a mother to HaYi and herself was most important.

Months later, the Queen stood outside on her balcony alone on a breezy midnight. HaYi was asleep with Jongdae and Minji snuck her way out of the room.

She couldn’t help herself. Seeing her daughter every day always brought Daesung to her mind. She wanted Daesung to meet HaYi. To know HaYi. To just hold HaYi and tell Minji ‘She looks just like you.’

She leaned on the railing and held her face in her hands, the despair hitting her hard once again. She couldn’t make it on her own no matter how many times she thought she could and put the same smile on her face every day. She wanted her brother back. She missed the connection so much now that even though the happiest of things happening to her was starting to fall behind.

She wanted to go looking for Daesung. To find if everything would be alright and he was still here. She hated the feeling. She had a daughter, a husband, and a whole empire to care for, and all she wanted most was to venture out. It was so inappropriate of her to want to do such a careless, childish thing. . . but she just couldn’t help it.

Her palms were drenched of her tears and fell to the rail in silence. She couldn’t escape this reoccurring feeling and she didn’t have the strength to hide it even though she had to continue. She needed to grow up at some point. She needed to try harder and push herself to be better like Daesung would’ve.

I miss you, she sobbed, looking out to the dark sky. Please. Just please find me somewhere within you. I cannot take this distance anymore. I cannot grow without you.

She’d plead the same thing the other times she had a break down and she’d never get an answer. She knew it was a futile effort but she couldn’t help but try connecting over and over again.

But she sobbed it over and over again. The marks over her body faintly glowing and slowly moving around her skin. Her wings grew from her shoulder blades a drooped to the floor forlornly. None of her being could attempt cheering herself up. Every part of her felt deprived and disconnected to even try.

Jongdae’s arms surrounded Minji’s figure and pressed himself to her back tightly, his face placed on the back of her neck.

Minji knew Jongdae sensed her crying and didn’t bother refraining. She went onward with her woes without even really acknowledging Jongdae’s comfort.

  “I do not want to feel lost,” she whispered, sniffing and looking down to the far ground, “I proceed with growing of who I must be and who I want to be, but my constant thoughts of woe return and reoccur throughout years. It will never halt, Jongdae. I cannot stop this suffering and I try. HaYi cannot be subjected to my selfishness. I have done awful already by everyone here being a child over Daesung. I cannot grow, Jongdae. I cannot.”

Jongdae said nothing and hadn’t tried healing her of her sadness. Every time he had done so, he realized the more he tried saving her from crying over her brother buildt up a worse break down the next time. As much as Jongdae’s heart broke, he held Minji to him and refrained from giving in to joining her. Their bond was incredibly strong that he felt exactly as she did; that’s why Minji never tried hiding it.

  “I am sorry to have awakened you with this feeling,” she apologized, looking up at the moon as if her ancestors would speak wisdom to her. But they were always quiet.

Jongdae let go a little to turn Minji around and hold her to his chest, looking out into the dark distance as he felt her cry on to his chest, “When she is of age, Minji,” he started confidently, “When she is an independent creature and understands the problems of our pasts and the impact on your being, you go look for him.”

Minji leaned back from Jongdae almost confused, “You speak in fantasies, Jongdae. It is unacceptable—“

  “This is the land you built,” Jongdae held her hands gingerly, “And surely, venturing to the King is nothing after what you have done for all of us. You have sacrificed your body over and over to bringing contact to the Royals on bringing us good fortune. You hide yourself from the public. You do as everyone else wants but never yourself.

  “I would offer myself to look for the King,” he shook his head, “But it is not my task to take. When HaYi is of age, I will stay behind to watch over them all. I want you to go seek your brother.”

Minji stared at Jongdae long and hard until she resigned back to his chest without another word.

  “I promise you will see him before we decide to move on, that is, if you ever want to move on.”

  “. . . You left HaYi alone,” Minji evaded from the topic.

  “You cannot remove yourself from this,” Jongdae chuckled, “You feel her, too. She is asleep. She fares well, but I suppose. . .”

Jongdae carefully swept Minji from the floor and led them both inside, placing her on the bed beside their daughter. He sat on the edge as he watched Minji feebly take her child from the bed and place her on her chest. She swept the short strands of hair from HaYi’s face and her back as if to comfort herself. To remind her she was still a mother.

  “You know,” Jongdae whispered, “HaYi will grow to be almost like you. If you do not go, surely, she will.”

Minji clenched her jaw and held HaYi closer, “She will not take my task, even as my daughter.”

Jongdae smiled and laid behind Minji, tucking her hair behind her ear, “I knew you would not refuse it.”

Minji smiled a little and looked back at Jongdae before closing her eyes and letting herself try to find sleep.

  “You will find him, one day. I promise.”

----Note~----

Gonna make this one quick.

I wrote today. Just because it felt nice to after all this work.

I want to apologize for the last chapter in ETR though. So many spelling errors I'm not fixing. Bear with me. xD

It's almost twelve and I should be sleeping. Spent four hours doing a practice SAT. I got a 12 on my essay! ...But didn't meet the 1600 criteria. Oops.

Anyway. Leaving this chapter here incase I have nothing for the rest of the week.

I just found this OST too. It's so pretty dear god.

Anyway.

G'night/G'morning/Good afternoon, guys.

~FlaMinhoe