Hello guys~~ I know I'm very late for this update but I have a couple of good excuses. One, I fell seriously sick for two weeks and I couldn't even sit in front of my computer. And two, when I got better and I finally could write, my laptop died and I had to take it to get fixed. Unfortunately, some drafts I've wrote disappeared and I had to re-write them... Anyway, I tried my best to remember everything and here is the outcome, a really long chapter. You deserve it for waiting so long. I'm so sorry, guys. For now and until a next chap, enjoy~~

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Cube building was a bit quiet that day. I felt relieved because I didn’t have to greet so many people and fake smiles for everyone.

I made my way to the third floor, to her office, without much hesitation. I was determined to whatever it happens, it had to end fast. I saw her door…

‘Ok, this is it!’ I thought with determination before inhaling and knocking two times. I waited a few seconds and then her face appeared on the other side of the glass door. Her expression was surprised for a second but then it turned unreadable.

She opened the door.

‘Hey…’ she greeted in a neutral voice.

‘Hi…’ I avoided her stare.

We stayed silent and none moved from their spot.

‘Come in…’ she broke the silence and opened the door wide. I entered.

Again silence.

‘I thought you wouldn’t come’ she started looking around to find a chair for me to sit.

‘I didn’t want to at first’ I said honestly. ‘But I decided to come in the end…’ she nodded and I sat on the chair she moved for me. She sat on her chair.

‘So…’ she took some papers of the table in front of her and handed them to me. I took them not really knowing why. I stared at the papers and they were the lyrics she has written. ‘Do you still want to help me?’

I looked at her half surprised. I opened my mouth but I closed it again. Why was she pretending nothing happened last night…?

‘Since you already know what the lyrics are about…’ her speech got interrupted by a sudden knock on the door. She looked at the clock on the wall and stood up. I looked at the clock too and saw 9:15pm. I frowned.

‘Who is at this hour?’ Jiyoonie didn’t seem surprised at all though. She went to open the door.

‘Suuup loner…’ a very familiar male voice could be heard when Jiyoonie opened the door. ‘Yo!’ She replied cheerfully. ‘Are you ready?’ again he asked, and without noticing, I was already behind my friend staring at the tall guy in front of her.

It was Junhyung-oppa…

A hint of shock passed his eyes and then he smiled at me. ‘Gayoonie, I didn’t know you were here’

‘Yeah, I passed to say hello’ I said trying to smile as natural as I could. He nodded and directed his eyes to Jiyoonie.

‘So, ready?’ he asked raising one eyebrow and smirking.

‘What?’ I turned to look at Jiyoonie expectant of her answer. She shook her head.

‘I’m staying a little longer, oppa’ his eyes looked disappointed for a brief second, but then, his trademark poker face appeared again. I almost smile…

‘Oh…’ was the only thing that came out his mouth.

‘Don’t worry, I’ll walk with Gayoonie tonight’

‘So, he’s the one that walks with Jiyoonie every night?’ jealousy grew inside me like wild fire. I had to make an extra effort to not glare at him.

He directed his eyes to me and we somehow exchanged words with the look we shared.

‘Are you sure you’ll be alright?’ he moved his eyes again to Jiyoonie and she smiled.

‘Oppa, you worry too much’ her hand travelled to his arm as she placed a playful slap on it. Both chuckled.

I hated it! ‘UGH!!’

I fought my urge to smack them. I rolled my eyes instead.

‘Get a room…’ I muttered despite myself. Jiyoonie turned her head with half a frown and Junhyung-oppa gave me a panicked stare. I saw him blushing a bit…

I chuckled to hide my emotions. ‘Jeez, I was just joking, don’t give me those stares’

Jiyoonie’s smirk was nervous and Junhyung-oppa kept panicking.

I’ve known for a long time that Junhyung-oppa has a crush on Jiyoonie, but I’ve never dared to ask her if she likes him back…

‘Ok, I’ll leave first then’ he said trying to smile naturally but his attempt was a fail, although Jiyoonie didn’t seem to notice it.

‘Oppa, take care, ok?’ her smile was bright and sincere.

‘Maybe she likes him…’ the thought of it gave me chills…

‘You too, loner’ he smiled warmly. ‘See you tomorrow then’ he ruffled her hair and she giggled.

‘Good night, oppa’ she said with aegyo.

The mere exchange of these little affections made my stomach revolve in disgust.

‘Good bye Gayoonie’ he said waving his hand.

‘See ya’ I said back but without emotion. He was like that too.

I think he knows I like Jiyoonie but I can’t be sure… It’s better if I avoid the topic…

Jiyoonie closed the door silently and turned to look at me with a frown on her face.

‘Why did you tease us?’ her tone was cold.

I got shocked that she actually asked me that. I looked away trying to smirk amused. ‘I was just joking…’

She eyed me, I could feel her angry eyes on me but I played dumb. Her silence denoted how tense she was.

‘Don’t take it seriously’ I said faking a laugh as I turned to look at her. She was dead serious. I gulped nervously. ‘Oh, come on, stop that…’

‘What else shouldn’t I take serious?’ she interrupted me with the same gelid tone. I felt fear instantly. I knew what she was referring to…

My mind got blank and I suddenly didn’t know what to say. ‘…Ermmm…’ I got numb. My throat closed as her eyes burned mines.

‘Last night you did something…’ she said less monotonic this time. She went to sit on her chair. ‘Don’t you have anything to say to me?’

I panicked. I made myself busy while I sat on the chair too. I kept avoiding her eyes…

‘What on earth should I say?’ the floor wasn’t going to give me any answer but I kept staring at it.

‘So…?’

‘! ! ! ! ! !’

I raised my eyes to meet hers and my mind silenced. ‘I’m sorry…’ was the only thing I could articulate. I could feel my hands shaking.

‘I’m not seeking for apologies, I’m not mad’

Her words suddenly made me blink. ‘What…?’

‘I’m not mad’ she repeated calmly.

I couldn’t understand her words nor her expression either. She said she wasn’t mad but then her stare was so strong and cold that I didn’t really believe her. It was hurting me…

‘I’m seeking for an explanation…’ she said with the same strong look. I gulped. ‘Why did you kiss me…?’

Blood rushed to my cheeks without warning. ‘Should I confess now…?’

‘I…’

‘GOSH!! WHAT SHOULD I DO?!’

She shortened the distance between us by moving her chair towards me.

‘I…’

“Da chiugo Pump up the volume! (Up up)…Deudgi shirheo Pump up the volume! (Up up)”

My own ringtone scared me to death. I jumped as I felt the noise and the vibration on my leg.

I answered without looking at the screen.

‘Hello?’ I gave a quick glance at Jiyoonie and she was serious…almost frowning…

‘Unnie, where are you?’ Hyuna’s high pitched voice sounded loud in my ears. I had to move the phone away from me a bit.

‘I’m at Cube’s building’ I answered avoiding Jiyoonie’s eyes.

‘Why are you there?’

‘Umm…I came to help Jiyoonie with some lyrics…’ I couldn’t lie to Hyuna…

‘Oh…’ Hyuna fell silent for a second. ‘Can you talk…?’ she asked almost in a whisper.

‘No…’

‘Got it…’ she said again in a low voice. ‘Ok, don’t come late then…’

‘We won’t’ I said glancing one again at Jiyoonie. She was still staring at me with cold eyes.

‘Bye and good luck…’

‘Bye…’

I hung up and pretended I was looking for something in my phone.

‘It was Hyuna?’

Jiyoonie’s voice was low and husky.

‘Yeah…’ I said moving my eyes up to her eyes.

‘What did she say?’

‘That we shouldn’t go home late…’

She nodded and then she leaned back in her chair.

‘So?’

‘So…?’ I played dumb.

‘Why did you kiss me?’ the tone she was using was relaxed and almost carefree.

I gulped with difficulty. ‘Lie…’ my mind said. ‘No, stop lying…’ it immediately answered.

‘Why do you think I did it…?’ I threw her a question just to gain more time.

‘That’s what I’m asking you…’

‘I can’t fool her that easy…’

I passed my fingers through my hair. ‘Why don’t you ask that when Hyuna kisses you?’

‘Because it’s Hyuna…’ she answered fast.

I eyed her. ‘…And why is she different from me?’

A silent smile grew in her face. I didn’t like it…

‘Why don’t you ask the same when Hyuna kisses you?’

I chuckled understanding the meaning of her answer. ‘I see your point’

‘Now… Are you gonna answer me tonight or we’re gonna stay all night? ‘Cause we’re not leaving until you answer me…’

‘Urgh…’ I leaned back in the chair and threw my arms in the air. ‘You’re so persistent!’

A single smile was her answer to my whining.

‘I honestly don’t know why I did it, maybe I was trying to apologize for reading your lyrics without permission; I wasn’t thinking anyway, I’m sorry if it troubled you…’ words came out so fast I couldn’t stop them.

Her eyes looked disappointed somehow…

‘Oh…’

‘What do want me to answer anyway?’ I asked coldly. ‘Why am I being like this…?’

‘Nothing, I just wanted to know the reason…’ she looked down.

‘Well not everything needs a reason’

‘Who is the one talking from my mouth?’ I panicked seeing I was hurting her… ‘It’s not me!’

‘Yeah, I got it…’ she moved her chair away and turned her back at me.

‘NO! Apologize, Gayoon! That is not what you want to say!’ my hands started shaking seeing the back of Jiyoonie’s head.

‘You know? It’s late already, let’s go home…’ she said standing up her chair and arranging some papers on her desk.

My steps took me right behind her… My hands shaking, my breathe uneven…

‘I lied…’ I whispered placing my arms around her waist.

She stiffened but remained silent.

‘That wasn’t the reason… I’m sorry…’

‘Why you enjoy hurting me…?’ her voice was low and bathed with pain…

‘I don’t… but sometimes I can’t stop my words…’ I put my chin on her shoulder.

‘If you don’t want to answer just tell me, don’t made out hurtful things…’

‘I’m sorry…’ I said moving my face and burying it in her hair. The smell of the sweet aroma of her shampoo combined with her perfume made my senses a blur…

Few minutes passed and her silence was turning a bit too long. I felt anxious.

‘Jiyoorie…?’

She turned her body around to face me. Her eyes saddened.

‘You’ve been lying to me a lot lately…’ I felt my heart hurting with guilt. ‘…Why…?’

I looked down. ‘I’m sorry for that too…’

‘Gayoon-ah…’ she lifted my face with her hands. ‘Why…?’

I felt like air was out the room when I looked into her eyes. She was sad…so sad that I couldn’t bare the pain it caused me. I wanted to cry… ‘I’m a bad person…’

‘No, you’re not…’

I got surprised. ‘Did I say that out loud?’ she smiled still sad.

‘Yeah, you did…’

I tried to look down but her hands wouldn’t let me.

‘Don’t look away…’ her words sounded like a beg. ‘Tell me what’s wrong… Please…’

I felt my eyes watering…

‘Why are you hiding things from me…?’

I gulped and tried to control my tears.

‘Because I’m afraid…’ I finally spoke. My voice was so weak though…

‘Afraid of what?’

‘That you won’t understand…’

I was shocked that I was actually talking about it without much fear.

She remained silent. Her eyes scanned my face looking for hints of the meaning of what I said…

‘Understand what…?’ her voice turned a whisper.

My eyes fall inevitably to her lips… My heartbeat rose.

‘I accepted something about me…’ I whispered too. ‘…But I’m afraid you wouldn’t understand why…’

‘Why you say that?’

I scanned her face too. Her milky skin looked so perfect… The locks of hair falling side to side of her face making it look thinner… Her eyebrows, her eyelashes, her eyes… The way she looks at me… Her petit perfect nose… Her lips… so full… so kissable…

‘Because…I can’t change it…’

‘You know I wouldn’t judge you’

I nodded still focusing on her lips. ‘But the fear is still there…’

‘Try to tell me now…’

I looked at her eyes and I felt thousands of butterflies filling my stomach and making my chest inflate.

‘…I love you…’ the words went out my mouth without warning… but I didn’t regret it, I finally said it…and it wasn’t hard at all…

She looked at me confused. She didn’t say anything for a few seconds. I knew she was processing my words.

‘What do you mean?’ her eyes looked into mines with a different light, but not a bad light at all. That gave me hope…

‘I mean I love you’ words came out so easily now… ‘Why didn’t I say it earlier?’

A small smile appeared on her face.

‘I love you too, but I don’t see why I would judge you for that’

This time I smiled. ‘Because I mean it’

‘I mean it too…’

‘No, no…’ I shook my head. ‘I mean I like you…for real…and I love you more than a friend…’

She was still with the confused look. ‘I still don’t get it’

I chuckled. I was confessing, opening my heart like with no one else, and she wasn’t getting it. I had to admit that it was funny.

‘Do I have to kiss you again so you can understand?’ I said almost laughing.

I wasn’t sure I was laughing for my epic fail as a confessor or laughing because she doesn’t understand it.

She blinked a couple of times and tilted her head a bit.

‘I wouldn’t be mad if you kiss me again…’ an amused smile grew on her face. ‘But I still don’t see why I would judge’

‘Is she playing with me?’

‘Are you playing with me?’ my laugh was fading. ‘Or you really don’t get what I’m trying to say?’

She was the one that laughed this time. ‘How couldn’t I get it?’ I sighed. ‘But, why would I judge?’

I opened my mouth and then close it. I opened it again. ‘Because’

She waited for me to say something else but I didn’t.

‘I would never judge you for that’

I looked at her eyes and saw pure honestly in them. I felt how a shy blush started to heat my cheeks.

‘I’m sorry I hid it from you…’ I had to apologize for my lies and bad behavior…

‘You know, you can’t lie to me, right?’ I nodded. ‘You know I can read you like a book…’ I nodded again. ‘So you must know I’ve known your little secret for quite a while now’

I got surprised. ‘…What…?’

‘Do you really think I wouldn’t notice the way you look at me?’ the amused smile returned dancing at her lips. I blushed furiously. ‘I don’t mind, really’ she continued talking like if nothing happened. ‘It makes me feel pretty’ I looked away hoping my cheeks to stop burning. ‘But it’s actually a miracle you haven’t notice the way I look at you…’

‘Huh?’ I turned to face her again. Her cryptic smile welcomed me.

‘I guess I’m more discrete’

‘Is this a joke?’ my eyes opened wide. ‘But…’

‘It isn’t easy to say, I know, that’s why I was writing the lyrics’ she said interrupting me. ‘I was hoping to give it to you when I finished but you found them before that could happen’

‘I’m sorry…’

‘It doesn’t matter now’ she shrugged.

‘But when I asked about the lyrics you said…’

‘The lyrics were unfinished’ she interrupted me again. ‘I couldn’t confess like that’

‘So you lied too…’

She smiled amused. ‘I guess I did a bit’

I got silent for a moment to analyze everything she said. ‘Wait…did she just confess?’

‘Wait… Do you mean…?’

She grinned. ‘You’re slow…’

I felt how the edges of my mouth pulled up and a huge smile appeared on my face. Jiyoonie giggled.

My hands were still resting on her waist and I suddenly got aware of the joy it brings me. To touch her…, keep her close…, look at her and feel happiness… I wasn’t afraid anymore, and even if she played with me a bit, I was ecstatic. I finally have said it and it didn’t kill me! I was corresponded in my love!

‘You’re cute when you want to pretend you are not checking on me’

She was mocking me and I couldn’t care less in that moment. I giggled and pulled her closer.

‘So, you wouldn’t mind if I kiss you again?’

She grinned mischievously. I felt her hands on my waist before a sudden pull and her lips meeting mines…

This was a real kiss…, and it lasted an eternity in my head…

A perfect night…

 

 

-TBC-