DONGHAES POV

Silence hangs between us, waiting for us to pierce it but neither of us speaks. Instead, I turn towards Hyuk hoping to find some way to start this story only to be met with two dark eyes filled with so much confusion. I let out a heavy sigh. Where do I start? Thousands of images flash through my mind, Memories, good times, horrible ones and one girl.

“Look, I know it’s hard for you to understand why I’m being so protective over her, I mean, I barely hang out with her anymore and suddenly I’m hitting you over her…” I look at the purple shade on his cheek and feel a twinge of guilt in my chest.
“Sorry about that by the way.”  He just grunts a little and nods his head to let me know the apology’s accepted, but I know he’s still pissed off. Hyuk isn’t the type to forget things so fast.

“Just tell me what you wanted to tell me” He shifts uncomfortably and turns his cheek away from me, giving me nothing to be distracted by. I know this is going to be hard so I turn away as well, I’m not the type to openly express deep things, or overly emotional things, so knowing that we are now basically back to back somehow makes me feel better, as if not looking at him meant I wasn’t actually revealing anything to anyone other than myself.

“I could start right from the beginning. I could tell you about a stupid little boy that was always there for an amazing little girl, but was only seen as her best friend. I could tell you about the pain that boy felt when he tried to make his move, only to realise he was too late. I could tell you about the hundreds of times he cried alone seeing her hurt, I could even tell you about how that stupid little boy, cared for her so much that he auditioned for the same company as her because he felt being her guardian angel was something he needed in his life. I could tell you about how much it hurts him to always be so close to her yet still not close enough to be more than friend but what I can’t do is say any more than that to explain why I’m so protective when it comes to her. Although that boy’s moved on and become a man, that little boy still lives and cry’s and feels everything like a fresh wound.”
Leaning my elbows on my knees, I let my head rest in my palms, suddenly feeling exhausted as if saying the events out loud took me right back to the day my heart broke. I expected Hyuk to be irritated and egg me on, to somehow piss me off with some witty comment but what followed surprised me. A firm hand gripped my shoulder and squeezed a little, this has always been his way of showing his emotions. Not enough action to make you feel all warm and fuzzy but just enough for you to understand that he’s sincere.

“Donghae ah, you’re my best friend. Regardless of what happened today it’s true. If it’s something you can’t tell me, then it’s fine.” The tone in his voice reminded me of when I lost my father, how he was always there to comfort me, to stick up for me and to make me feel better. Suddenly all the hopes and what if’s I had being holding onto for me and Boa disappeared in this moment. Hyuk has always looked out for me, always been there for me and never asked for anything in return, if there is anyone in this world that I would pull up a white flag against in the battle for her heart, it was definitely him.

“No, I have to. Like you said, we’re best friends and I’ve stood by and watched that ruin your life in a matter of months without saying a word. I’m not gonna let IU screw you and Boa over a second time.” He spins re around with one quick swift pull and puts his hand back at his side.

“What do you mean? She doesn’t even know Boa, she idolises Boa, she always did. All she ever wanted was to be introduced to her idol but I didn’t know Boa well enough to do that? How could she possibly have done anything to her?” The genuinely lost expression on his face made me sick. Not because he had no clue about the Boa situation, but because he had no clue about the girl he had been dating. The innocent, cute IU he described was just a mask, what frustrates me the most is that it’s almost impossible to believe that it is a mask. She may be the wickedest witch I’d ever met? But I’ll tell you one thing, she knows exactly how to play her cards to her advantage.

“Listen to yourself for crying out loud! You and I both know that Boa barely gets angry and people, even when she received dead rats as hate mail from anti fans, Boa was never one to retaliate. You don’t have to be close to her to know that much.” Hyuk’s lips pursed into a fine line and his brows furrowed together. He must be having a metal battle with himself. I don’t blame him.

“But why would she hit IU? I don’t get what she has to do with all of this!” Finally I can hear the impatience in his voice and see it written all over his face.

“You know Boa hasn’t been in a relationship for like two years right? Well what you didn’t know is that it was Jaejoong” His name leaves a sick taste in my mouth.

“Mwo?” Hyuk’s expression was priceless. A mixture of surprise, disbelief and possibly a hint of jealousy was coloured in big bright letters across his face.

“They were happy together. They were the couple that everyone wishes they would be in the future. Always texting each other, calling each other and secretly meeting up at random places but they were so in love it was sickening.” I feel sick to my stomach recalling what were my darkest memories but probably Boa’s most cherished ones.

“So what happened? And how the hell is IU involved in all of this” Hyuk’s getting fed up with all the stalling. To be honest I am as well, but I just can’t bring myself to talk about the part that’s most crucial. The day Boa found out Jaejoong was cheating on her with IU.

“Well, Boa had started to get suspicious of him. He wasn’t picking up her calls anymore, he wasn’t meeting up with her anymore and he had even started sleeping back at his house again which was a huge surprise because they practically lived together at her house.” I take a deep breath and steady myself for the next part.
“One day she came barging into my house wailing and crying with bloodshot eyes tears streaked right down the sides of her cheeks and neck. When I asked her what was wrong she just flung her arms around me and cried, like a child that had hurt themselves and just needed the warmth of their parents to make all the pain go away” Hyuk could see where this story was headed and just asked.

“Did he cheat on her?” His jaw clenched and he closed his eyes like he was waiting to receive a jail sentence or something, like the next words that came out of my mouth would determine thousands of things. I just stare at the floor wanting to get this part over and done with, quick and easy.

“Yes. With an innocent little girl, who at the time was underage but lied about her age to get in bed with him” I sneak a glance at his face and watch it twist from confusion, to a look of realisation, to a look of disbelief then finally just plain shock.

“It can’t be… She’s not like that… It can’t be” On the brink of tears, Hyuk blinks a few times like he’s going to magically blink away what he just heard me say.

“It’s true, and the way Boa found out? She texted a message from jaejoong’s phone of them two on the bed while Jaejoong was asleep. It was only one night, he was drunk but he ended up paying for it for the rest of his life” I feel sorry for Jaejoong from time to time. He was a drunk man in a club that just went home with the first girl he saw, little did he know she’d be the end of his TVXQ days.

“No, no you’re lying. She wouldn’t … She couldn’t” His hands – now balled into tight fists – push hard against his temples trying to massage away the words that are coming out of my mouth.

“Look, it happened. To put along story short, she blackmailed him. Told him he either walked or she was going to reaveal the photos to the public. He knew that once it was revealed he had slept with a sixteen year old girl no one would accept him and he’d bring the company down with him, so he walked. IU made Boa’s life a living hell, sending new photos every week. She somehow got all of Boa’s new phone numbers and consistently harassed her, then just stopped all of a sudden. That’s when she found out Boa had a crush on someone else… you” Hyuk stopped shaking his head and looked me in the eyes.

“Me? What? No way” I could tell he was sifting through the tonnes of what if’s and regrets in his mind.

“It’s true, she’s always had a thing for you Hyuk, you were just always so caught up in chasing girls and fangirling over her that you never stopped to seriously look at her as a woman” The frustration in my voice isn’t only because he’s totally clueless, but my jelousy also works it’s way into the conversation.

“But…”

“I should have known something was up when she got with you, but now I finally get it. She’s trying to screw with Boa again.” I stand up off the bed and walk towards the door opening it and motion for him to stand up. He quickly follows me and stands in front of me.”
“There’s nothing more I can do for Boa other than be her sun, keep her warm and happy and watch over her but just like the sun, I can never reach her the way you can. You on the other hand, you can fix her. You can help her and keep her safe, you can heal her broken heart and protect it from breaking again. No matter what way I look at it, She needs you more than she ever needed me” There is a question lingering on his lips waiting to be let out but he bites it back instead and just looks at me.

“Bro, I don’t know how to process what you just told me…”

“Just give her a chance” Hyuk gives in unwillingly and takes a moment to let everything sink in before I open my door

“Go, she should be alright now. You and I both know how Siwon is magical when it comes to sick people” I push out a laugh and earn a smile in return from Hyuk. I turn around and let him walk out on his own, knowing once he’s gone I’m probably going to drown in the sea of tears I’ve been holding since I decided to give up the fight and let him take the lead.

“Donghae ah,” Hyuk’s voice is soft and full of concern and sadness. “Thank you, for everything… and… I’m sorry. I promise I’ll take care of her, don’t worry” With that his footsteps echo down the hallway and I’m standing alone in my room facing the wall.

It’s over, it’s really over.

“Hyuk Jae, you better keep that promise” I say to no one in particular, and finally the tears come rushing to me. I sink to my knees and cradle my head in my hands… and in my head, as if she can actually hear my thoughts I leave one last message for her…

Goodbye, my first love.

FINALLY UPDATED ! sorry to keep you guys waiting so long :) and for suddenly throwing so much at your face in one chapter T_____T i hope you liked it anyways :) i woof you guys <3