DONGHAES POV

"BOA!?! !" she doesn't respond to my voice or the way im shaking her.My hands are shaking like crazy and i can't keep still, i don't know what to do! I'm so freaking scared right now. Damn! i can't take her to a hospital, that's the last thing she'll want me to do, it'll be all over the papers and magazines by the morning. What the hell do i do?

"Boa. boa answer me, come on come on!" 

"uhhh....." i hear the slightest moan escape her lips, not enough to stop me worrying, but it was definately enough to calm me down a little. I take in the deepest breath ever and lean back on my seat, that was close.

"Boa, I'll take you back to mine okay? I'll take you to Siwon. He can take you home from there." I know she can't hear me, but for some reason i keep talking. Leaning over her, i close her door properly and sit back in my seat again just staring at her.

"Donghae..." her eyes flutter trying to open but end up staying closed.

"Is ....... True? .... I..... IU?" she doesn't even stay awake long enough to hear a response, as soon as she finished her sentence her head dropped to her side and i could hear her breathing evenly again.

"i hope not." i whisper, more to myself than to her. I take off my jacket and roll it up tight.

"that'll do" i reach over her again and place the jacket on her shoulder, pulling her head upright. While i do that, i realise just how close i am to her. 

"God, your still beautiful" i her cheeks a little with my thumbs and lightly kiss her cheek. She wriggles a little and a hint of a smile plays on her lips but that's all the reaction i get from her. I notice something gleam on her neck in the ray of sunlight. I sad smile passes my lips and i touch it just once. 

"if only you knew back then, maybe you would've been happy right now" 

FLASHBACK

Today's the day, i'm going to officially ask her out! i check my hair in the mirror and tug on my shirt collar. looking good. I grab the necklace off the side of the table and admire it for a while

"wow it really is pretty. tsktsktsk Lee Donghae, what has she done to you?" i laugh at myself and put it in my pocket ready to go.

"BYE MOM! IM GOING TO SCHOOL NOW!" i swear today is the most beautiful day ! the sun is just amazing and everything seems so much brighter today, maybe that's why i can't wipe this stupid grin off my face. I walk for about ten minutes before i see her bouncing towards me with a huge smile on her face. My heart melts and my legs wobble a little bit, but i stay steady.

"DONGHAAAAAAAAAAAE!!!!!!" she jumps up with her arms locked around my neck and i spin her around hugging her tight.

"you seem especially happy today" she giggles into her hands and stares at me with a mischevious smile.

"yeah? well you do too" i just blush and scratch the back of my head with one hand

"yeah well it's a pretty day today okay?" the nervousness in my voice is too obvious 

"tell me! tell me! i want to know! your happy over something else. did you get a new dog? did you get rid of your neighbours loud dog? are you finally coming out of the closet?" 

"MWO?" i grab her head and ruffle her nicely done hair, making her scream and laugh at the same time.

"i was kidding! sorry" she's still laughing as she fixes her hair and uniform properly.

"okay, i'll tell you after you tell me" she leaps at the opportunity

"THANK GOD! i thought you'd never ask!" she leans in close to me signalling for me to do the same "so you know jaejoong?" oh here we go, that guy again.

"yeah what about him?" i reply, not actually caring.

":well.... you can't tell anyone" her voice starts to get giddy. "he asked me out!" she whispers the last sentence to me making me choke. Oh no, she's had a crush on him since kindergarten,

"and you said?" please say no. please say no. please say no.

"whell DUHHHHH i said yes! who wouldn't? I''ve only liked him since FOREVER" I feel sick to my stomach. Why did i let it wait this long? and why did he have to ask her now? i can't believe this is happening. I... I... I was meant to ask her out today. I hide my feelings on my face forcing every ounce of it.

"oh really?" i thiink i'm about to cry if i keep standing here.

"yesssss!!!!  i know right? I can't believe it" she spins in circles smiling like she's just won an award laughing. she looks so happy. That was meant to be me you're spinning for.

"well... congrats i guess" she bounces up to me again, and grabs my hands/. Usually her touch feels light as a feather, like heaven. Today her touch feels like knives digging into my skin so i move my hands into my pockets. She doesn't seem to notice.

"now tell me yours!" I wriggle the necklace in my pocket around and finger every crevice of it, how am i meant to tell her? how can i tell her? i can't compete with that. No, i don't care i'll tell her. pulling it out i hold it right in her face

"JJANGGGG!" her eyes widen and she touches it greedily.

"Who's this for? ohhhh it's so pretty!!" she twists and turns it in her hands and analyzes every angle of it.

"For you" my breathing starts to quicken and i feel sickness in my stomach.

"Mwo? JINJAEYO?! wowww it's beautiful!" she beams from ear to ear as i reach around to put in on her. 

"well theres something i wanted to say-"

"YOUR THE BEST FRIEND EVER! wait till i show jaejoong this, he's gonna have a lot of competing to do." she jumped up and hugged me tightly before running off towards school leaving me staring after her in pain.

"MIANHAE DONGHAE AH, I HAVE TO MEET JAEJOONG BEFORE SCHOOL!" she screamed back at me.

bestfriend huh? well. I guess that's better than  nothing. I take a few steps towards school and decide otherwise. Turning around, i make my way home. I can't handle seeing them together. Not today. Not anyday. Boa yah, if your happy, then i'm happy but i can't stand close to you anymore. That's asking too much. I'm sorry.

END OF FLASHBACK

I sit back in my chair and stare at her. We've come a long way since then huh? We drifted alot, i stopped being the best friend and ended up being just a friend. But it did help. I met people, I grew, and slowly my feelings for her started to fade, they have nearly completely vanished. These days, all i care about is seeing her smile again, and i thought Eunhyuk would be the perfect person for her. 

"Huhhhh, what have i started?" i sit in the car a bit, one hand on the steering wheel and one leaning against the car door rubbing my slow approaching headache.

"Well, let's get you back to the dorm, i'm sick of this place." I start the engine and drive off.

what would have happened if i told her first? If she was with me? oh no, Donghae don't think about it . . I think i ... NO no. The situations alerady complicated enough without me to add my five cents in. I don't feel that way about her anymore... i don't think?

"well hyuk, i guess your next move determines mine."  

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

kekeke just casually reading the title and shaking my pockets exo style ^_^ hi guysssssssss donghae huh? hahaha stories getting complicated iknow. lololol byyeeeeee <3