The session dragged on for what felt like forever. I was ready to leave but if Leeteuk found out I left another session early, he was going to put me on lock down and throw away the key. I had pulled my feet up on the chair, leaning back on the arm and wrapping an arm around my shins.

Hye Young continued to pry but I refused to answer clearly, just humming or shaking my head. She sighed and set her book on the coffee table in front of her, “If your not going to answer back, you might as well leave now and let me prepare for my next client.”

I kept my eyes trained on the picture on the wall of Seoul city lights, mumbling, “If I leave, I lose Ryeowook.”

Hye Young raised an eyebrow, “Lose him?

I nodded, studying over every little detail, “Leeteuk will take him away again.”

Hye Young timidly reached for her book, trying to make sure I didn't notice but my eyes darted to her thin hand reaching out before focusing on the picture again. She picked it up silently, setting it on her lap. “Do you want him to stay so you won't be alone?”

I shook my head, “Yes and no, I want him to stay with me because with all the drama going on, I'm slowly becoming his only support. I'm not there and he collapses. He thinks I'm cheating on him.” The last part slipped out and I instantly wanted to take it back.

Hye Young played with the cover of the book, “Why do you think that?”

I grunted, not wanting to answer. Instead, I mumbled, “You know that answer.”

“Kyuhyun, you can't run from the truth.”

“I know that.”

A shake of the head, her now graying brown hair swaying as it wasn't held up by its normally tight bun, “No you don't. You're avoiding your past.”

My darted over to hers and I held her firm gaze, “How do I avoid my past?”

Hye Young rolled her shoulders, glancing at the clock, “You refuse to talk too much about your childhood, you tense up when we talk about your father, and you seem to be blocking memories of him out.” She paused, “You need to open up if you want to help Ryeowook.”

I closed my eyes and leaned back, letting out a long breath. “Fine, what do you need to know?”

Hye Young hummed in thought, “Tell me, did you father take anything away from you other than singing?”

I took another deep breath, emotions threatening to bubble to the surface and overflow. “He always wanted another girl like Ara. But I came along and it ruined his plans. So he made me do boy things like a good father. I played sports, crashed toy cars together, I would hit the other boys.”

I stilled, opening my eyes to stare at the picture. I could feel myself drifting further and further away until it felt like I was there and these words were not my own. “Then I started singing. Ara encouraged it but he didn't. If he couldn't have a second girl, he was going to make sure I was a 'man'. He forced me to stop and pushed me through my schooling. When he kept pushing me, I started to slack off in an attempt to rebel. I picked up Starcraft and stopped doing work. I would sit in my room all day and play it. I hardly moved and just ate junk food. So I gained weight.”

I took a shuddering breath, unable to keep my hands from shaking. My being was now exposed and I couldn't do anything to take it back now, I had to keep pressing on. I continued, “He started yelling, taking away me computer and monitoring me all hours of the day. I remember him yelling at Ara because she was starting to look chubby during the beginning of her high school days but nothing amounted to what he did to me. He forced me work out and lose weight. He watched my eating habits, cutting all junk food out of my diet and giving me only vegetables, fruit, and chicken . It wasn't bad, I could handle it but when the weight didn't come off, it worsened. He called me a disgrace to the family image and how if my mother would let him, I would out on the streets.”
 

I could now hear the faux people of Seoul shuffling around me, their quiet mummers as more of my soul was exposed. I knew they were staring at me and pointing but I couldn't bring myself to look at them. “After weeks of extreme dieting and working out, I was back to his 'ideal' weight. He stopped bothering me and my grades went back up. As high school ended, he pushed me to go and become a lawyer. I didn't want to, the idea repulsed me so I pleaded with him. If I could get accepted into a college, I would be allowed to study music. Luckily I did, I got my degree and I joined Super Junior.” I faintly heard the timer ringing but I was too far gone to notice.

The silence in the room was deafening.

/AN Forgive me, I've had no ideas till now.