When I returned to the dorm, it was late. I had sat in my car for almost four and a half hours with my head on the steering wheel. I finally gained my courage to drive back to the dorm when Leeteuk text me, telling that Ryeowook had started to worry, excluding the plain fact that he was obviously worried as well.

I tip toed around the dorm, grabbing a quick snack and finishing it quickly. I opened the door to Ryeowook's room, Yesung was dead asleep on the other side of the room, snoring lightly. I snuck into Ryeowook's bed, cuddling up behind him and wrapping my arms around his waist. I gently nuzzled my nose into the crook of the older's neck, sighing contently as my eyes slipped close.

Ryeowook groaned and turned over in my arms, his eyes cracked. He mumbled, his words slurring together slightly, “Where were you?”

I kissed him lightly, “No where baby. Go back to sleep.”

Ryeowook couldn't fight the sleep that was threatening to overtake him and let his lids sleep close. Soon his breathing evened out and he relaxed in my arms.

I smiled softly, feeling the sickening twist in stomach start again and I had to push it away as I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep. I couldn't. Thoughts and images plagued my mind causing me to stay awake, staring at either Ryeowook or the ceiling.

The next morning when Ryeowook's alarm went off, I snapped my eyes close and pretended to still be sleeping so he wouldn't worry about me.

Ryeowook shifted and cuddled closer to me, his hands clinging loosely to my shirt. He finally awoke and turned over, shutting it off. He rolled back over, going straight back to cuddling me.

I heard Yesung roll out of bed, scoffing at us before shuffling around the room and out into the hall.

Ryeowook sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes and running a hand through his messy bed head.

I cracked my eyes and faked a yawn. I slipped my hand under Ryeowook's shirt, rubbing the warm skin underneath as I hummed, “Good morning.”

Ryeowook looked over his shoulder, smiling. He whispered, his voice still coarse from sleep, “Morning.” He wiggled around till he was facing me and said, “Where were you last night? You came home awfully late.”

I frowned and sat up, leaning back on my hands. I cooed softly, “I was out thinking. The pri-Hye Young made me think about a few things. That's all.” I leaned forward and placed a gentle on Ryeowook's forehead, smiling to try and reassure him.

Ryeowook nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips. He crawled into my lap, wrapping his arms around my neck and burying his head in my neck as he whispered, “I love you.”

I rubbed the small of his back, gently swaying as I replied, “I love you too.”

~~

Hye Young greeted me cheerfully, or at least as cheerful as she could do without her stoic face cracking in two. She motioned for me to sit down in the same chair from the past three weeks.

I did mechanically, spreading my legs and resting my arms on the armrests.

She said, breaking the silence that had befallen us, “So are you feeling better?”

I snorted, replying sarcastically, “ing great.”

She didn't flinch at my foul language, just shrugged it off. I wouldn't normally cuss in front of a female but I was sleep deprived and angry at the world. She reached for her book but pulled her hand away before her fingertips could brush the surface, an uncertain expression on her face. It was the most human expression I have ever seen from her. She folded her hands in her lap and started off, “What happened last week?”

I couldn't meet her eyes, “I felt sick. I haven't been feeling good all week. No big deal.”

Hye Young rolled her eyes, “I'm sure. How is your relationship with Ryeowook?”

I shrugged and crossed my arms, “He doesn't trust me.”

She let out a soft breath and sat higher up in the chair, smoothing her skirt. “Why do you think that,” she asked.

“He's always asking where I've been,” I said, feeling uneasy again, “and who I've been with. He worries too much.”

Hye Young pushed her narrow glasses up her nose, her fingers twitching as if to write, “Worry isn't bad, it means he cares. Trusting you, that's something you have earn from him.”

I sank further in the chair, mumbling, “I know. I want him to trust me again but after what I did, I don't deserve his love or attention.”

Her brows furrowed as she asked, “Why?”

I could feel the anger bubble up in my chest as I looked up at her. How dare she ask why I didn't deserve Ryeowook? Leeteuk gave her a pretty clear back story about what happened. I snapped at her in a rage, “Because I Sungmin while Ryeowook was trying to get better! I put Ryeowook in the hospital because of my selfish thoughts! I royally ed up with Ryeowook and yet he still stays by my side, insisting that he still loves me. He never once blamed me for what happened, he just said it was gonna be okay. He never yelled at me or got angry! He just sits there while I say I'm sorry and tells me he loves me to the end of the world.” I felt some tears slip out from the corner of my eye and I wiped them away angrily, “Why does he stay with me when I abused him? Why?”

Hye Young sat in silence, shocked at my sudden outburst. She struggled to collect herself, “Love makes us do stupid, reckless things.”

I let out a breath, “Bull.”

She shook her head, sighing as she did, “If you don't believe in that, fine. I'm just trying to help you get through this.”