I almost dropped my textbooks to my feet, which would've hurt a lot if it did. Before I can cry out from the shock, Mikyong comes jogging back to us. "No he doesn't!" she corrected, taking a deep breath before continuing. "The rumors say that him and some girl named 'Jeong' like each other. But there's no real evidence that they're dating." She shot the other girl an accusing glare, who held up both of her hands while walking away.

"I-- who told you that?" I asked hesitantly, looping my arm through her's and proceeding to drag her further into the schoolyard. My eyes look around to search for Kai desperately, hoping he wasn't anywhere near Jeong. "I heard it from a bunch of kids talking about it," Mikyong answered, though her reply was delayed. Close by, I hear a familiar laugh. It's light and astonishing, and it only lasted for a mere second. I turn around to find it's owner, my heart clenching as I find Jeong and Kai standing next to each other. He has the same laugh as when I  tell him jokes.

I don't want to look at them. Just the thought of them even looking at each other gets me so infuriated. I feel like punching a wall, or punching something or someone. I drop my arm from Mikyong's as I force myself to look at them again. Be strong, Kimmy. You can just interrupt them, and then everything will be fine. 

I repeat those sentences in my head as if they were a mantra as I step towards them. A counterfeit smirk adorns my lips as I greet Jeong with a secret sinister stare that only she could see. She abruptly stood up, crossing her arms in discomfort. "Hi," I greet, then turning to Kai. "Can... I talk to you for a minute?" I ask, pulling him by the collar and dragging him away from her.

"What do you need?" he asked, leaning against a brick wall. I can't help but notice the way his neck muscles strain when he tilts his head to the side. Or how he keeps a casual expression when he's really cautious about everything around him. The corners of his lips turn up in a small smile as he catches me staring at him. I clear my throat and kick pebbles on the ground, flustered. 

"Do you like Jeong?" I hesitantly ask. It's best to just come out and say it with him. Kai wasn't the type for idling, or for mind play. He was blunt, and always blunt. Whatever he says, he means it. I stepped forward, a more stern aura taking over myself. "You like her, right?"

"What's it to you?" he asked, an eyebrow quirking in suspicion. Again with the sarcasm. I pursed my lips in frustration as I fear he's catching on to my intentions. I coughed, then answer, "I was just... curious as to what her relationship with you is--"

"You like me, right?" 

My jaw automatically shuts close. My teeth accidentally clash down on my tongue and I wince in pain. "No-- why would you think that? I mean yes, I know I've liked you before. But that's over now. And we both know it. And I've told you before that--" I stutter. Kai lets out a wild laugh, closing his eyes as he does so. I'm so taken aback by how simply gorgeous and stunning he is, and how my heart pounds in my chest knowing that it was me that made him laugh, that I almost forgot what we were talking about.

"I was kidding, gosh. It's so like you to freak out." He stands upright again and sticks his hands in his pockets, beginning to walk away from me. He's shaking his head slightly, like me freaking out is the most immature thing he's ever seen. I linger in my position for a moment before jogging after him. "But wait!" I call out. "you didn't answer my question."

He just keeps walking with a smile on his lips. "Yeah I did. I said 'What's it to you?" I let him go. It was no use trying to pry information out of him. I've learned that the hard way. The way his last smile was before he walked away becomes engraved in my mind. I know that smile. I'd recognize anywhere.

It was fake.

He's always faking things. He's always lying. He never communicates his feelings or tells me what he's really thinking. Perhaps he's afraid of attachment? Or maybe he just finds me annoying? Whatever it is, I just wish that he would tell me so I can help him. He keeps everything a secret. He's one huge mystery that I can't solve, and it drives me mad. 

I know it wasn't right of me to just interrupt Jeong and Kai like that, but I can't help myself. I've been longing for him more than she has. I won't simply lend him to some other girl without a fight. I'm not starting today.

************************************

I ride the bus home with Kai, noticing that our conversation today wasn't as amusing. I was so afraid of saying the wrong thing in front of him, that I almost said nothing at all. Why was I so cautious today? That wasn't like me. I was supposed to be loud and funny. I was supposed to act on impulse and instinct. 

Feeling out of myself, I left the bus one stop early after saying goodbye to him. I needed the extra air before I went back to my house. After all, the foreboding atmoshphere in that house makes it hard to breathe. The thing is, my mom and dad are in the middle of a divorce. Therefore, my dad doesn't really have to leave the house yet. This makes things complicated because they both hate each other to the core, and being in the same kitchen is pretty awkward. It doesn't affect me as much as it affects them, but sometimes things can get annoying.

First of all, I have to sleep with my mom now. Which isn't that bad, except for when I need my own privacy. The thought of my dad sleeping in a little girl's room with pink walls and Hello Kitty furniture also crack me up. My mom would always ask "Is your dad home?" and he would always ask "Is your mom downstairs?" Though they could go check for themselves, they would rather have their little slave-driver keep all their secrets and do all their dirty work.

They also put each other in a bad light, so I don't know who to believe. So much for picking sides.

I sometimes think that it's my fault. I can still remember when it started three years ago. We were making fun of my dad as a joke, and it went too far. And of course, I was the one who had to start it. I thought the fight would be the same as usual: be mad at each other for a week and make up after that. But that night was different. They were throwing plates and utensils at each other, and everything was a mess. My mom left the house for a few hours to cool off, and my dad had just went up to his room after like nothing had happened. I had to clean everything up afterwards, because I felt guilty.

But I guess it isn't totally my fault. I knew they fought plenty of times before that. But I still feel as if I was the one that pulled the last string for them. Goes to show that some things don't last forever, and it makes me nervous.

I hopped up the steps of my porch, pulling out the keys to the house from my pocket. Slipping the key into the lock, a frown curled my lips. Sometimes it was really hard to open the door to my house for some reason. It wasn't just my key either. When I used my brother's key, the same thing happened. Giving up, I pulled the key out and rang the doorbell.

It took a few minutes for my older brother to open the door. He gave me a short smile before jogging back to the kitchen and resuming his lunch. I set my things down on the floor by the door before kicking up my shoes and setting them on a plant shelf. My dog likes to eat everything, so we have to keep our stuff on an elevated area. We don't have a shoe closet on the first floor, and it's a hassle to go down to the basement, so we just leave them on high tables and plant shelves in the foyer.

I jump over the dog barricade and hop up the steps, opening the door to the master bedroom my mom and I shared. It was the biggest room in the house. I plop down on the bed and dial Mikyong's number, hoping that she'd answer. As soon as the tone for voicemail rings in my ear, I hang up and close my eyes. 

Jeong did not realize how much trouble she has caused for me. It was enough trouble that Kai didn't like me in the first place. Now I had competition? And a worthy opponent, to add to that? It took me months to come up with the humor that I have now just to make Kai laugh. Jeong only met him recently, and she had him smiling more than I could. This isn't going to go away without a smackdown. I'm not allowing some girl to waltz into his life and steal him from me, when I've known him for at least four years.

This was going to go down in flames.