I want to fall in love like they do in the movies.

Do you know what I mean? Like, girl meets boy type of thing. You want me to explain even more? I want the whole charade. With the guy best friend who ends up liking her yet gets rejected, and that one girl friend who's all fluffy and the exact opposite of the protagonist. Then, the couple goes through trivial things before ending the series with a kiss. Something among those lines.

It may all seem stupid to someone else's eyes, but I take romance seriously. Love comes before anything else. Love is so important, that it can destroy you and create a new you. That's how important love is. So watching all these movies and reading all these books make my heart clench, knowing that something like that won't happen to me. Because love like those fictional stories don't happen in real life. People don't confess in person nowadays. It's usually done over online, or text. Or call. It's never, "I've liked you for a while. P-Please go out with me!" Not often.

You know what else? There's never that one, good looking/quiet and y type of guy that all the girls love and all the guys admire. Well, not so much that a crowd parts so they can walk through. And even if there was, why would they fall in love with you? Why? Why would it have to be you, and not that other pretty little bombshell at the end of the hallway? It all seems so good to be true. And knowing something is out of reach just makes my desire itch even more.

I let out a grunt as I roll off of the bed. It's already morning. "Good morning, cruel world," I mumble to myself as I shut the curtains, happy to have the nasty sun's glare out of my face.

It's cold. Really cold. I shiver in my sweater as I pull up the hood to my jacket. I hate winter. Before, it used to be the highlight of the year when I was a child. Presents and money were given at Christmas, and you would dive into the snow with your friends. Afterwards, you would all drink some hot cocoa and compare who got the best toy. But not anymore. Cleaning the snow from your driveway and steps is a pain. Since you got older, the presents lessen in quantity and quality and the exquisite gifts are given to the new little ones. You don't drink hot cocoa anymore, you drink coffee. Your parents don't have to actually spend time with you because you obviously don't care, and the magic of Santa has faded long ago when you caught your father try and sneak your present underneath the tree.

The bus comes three minutes late. I sigh as I step on, ing my jacket as I find the bus is already warm.  There are no more single rider seats left, so I take one of the couple seats and place my bookbag on the window seat. Then I sit on the egde, so no strangers can sit. 

I arrive on campus about another twenty minutes later. I'm tackled by my best friend Mikyong. "Hey!" she chimed, giving me a final squeeze and a kiss on my chin before letting go. She has to tip toe because she's really short. My other best friend, Sunhi follows behind, giggling. "Mikyong! Don't cling to her like that," she called, walking over to pry Mikyong's body from mine. That's what I love about Sunhi. She's like a motherly figure. I can always count on her, and cling to her. Being in her arms is the second best thing as a mother's embrace. She smiled and patted my back. "Hey Kimmy," she greeted with a smile. I give her a tight squeeze before letting go and stepping back to observe the two.

They are the greatest best friends I could ever ask for. But sometimes I can't help but feel like I don't deserve them. "Hello," I said with a laugh. We walk through the back alleyway of the school, and into the yard where hundreds of other kids are by their usual posts. Sixth graders are running around like its the last day of their lives. Seventh graders are playing basketball, or in the lunch room. Eigth graders are standing around and being loud, as if they run the school. Which they do, except just the middle school section. Otherwise, seniors rule the high school division. I drag Michelle and Gabriella to our usual swarm of friends.

 "Hey Kimmy!" Mikyong chimed, grabbing me by the shoulder and adjusting my position, just enough for my eyes to catch a glimpse of black hair. My heart starts doing somersaults as I recognize his familiar figure, my lips breaking out into a smile on their own. I hear Sunhi coo as she followed my gaze, which resulted in her getting a punch in the arm. The tall female laughed, stepping back but leaning over to poke my cheek. "You must like him a whole lot," she said, a gentle smile curving her facial features as she glanced at me. Slightly embarrassed, I scrunched my nose and tilted my head down, messy black hair concealing my face. "Maybe," I muttered under my breath. "but he won't ever know." 

I roll my eyes and stifle my laughter, directing my attention back to Kai who is with a whole bunch of other guys. I've been friends with Kai since the sixth grade.  Though, I didn't really get so far. At this point, it may seem that I'll be forever friend-zoned. Pouting, I crossed my arms and resumed friendly conversation with the others around me. I didn't feel like depressing myself with thoughts of never kissing Kai's beautiful lips. That'd be a terrible way to start a Monday morning.

I hear the whistle blow. That was the signal for everyone to head inside and get to homeroom. I grab Mikyong and Sunhi, laughing to what we were talking about before. On the stair, we separate. Sunhi and Mikyung are in a smarter class than I am in. We all used to be in the same class the previous year, but obviously the way things are right now, I didn't do so great before. Bummer, since I would have really enjoyed another year with Mikyung and Sunhi. 

Turning around, I could see that more of my classmates had arrived. I don't really talk with anyone in the class. Uninterested in everyone else, I drop my head and decide to take a short nap.

Lunchtime rolls in quicker than I expected. I hadn't eaten breakfast that morning, and I was too lazy to eat lunch. Instead, I grab Mikyong's hand pull her outside with me. Sunhi waves goodbye, smiling widely. "She wants to stay in the library today," Mikyong explained, and I respond with a short nod. Cold air greets us first as I shove open the heavy door. Mikyung's face cringed as she squealed, wrapping her scarf tighter. She hated the cold as much as I did. "Let's go find Raine so I can use her sweater," she said, skipping ahead of me. I follow cooly behind, hands in my pockets as I silently judge my schoolmates. I spot a few of my ex crushes in the crowd and I frown.

You see, I've never had the best experiences with men. I'm trying my best not to jump the gun with Kai. Sunhi said its best if I take things slow with him if I didn't want to mess up. But it's so hard to pace myself.

I realized that I lost Mikyong in the huge crowd of people in the schoolyard. Better find her before she freaks out again. I'm about to go look around for the small little brat before my friend stops me. She looked concerned for me. "Kimmy," she said inbetween pants. It was obvious that she was trying to look for me. "...did you hear?" she finally asked. My eyebrows crunched together in confusion as I shook my head. "No," I replied, suddenly cautious. I was curious as to what happened. "what?"

She meets my eyes with a sympathetic stare. "Kai has a girlfriend."