I couldn't sleep again. Tomorrow was going to be the last day of the trip and it seems that all I managed to accomplish was absolutely nothing. I simply couldn't bring myself to understand one thing:

Why couldn't I just let go?

It was crazy how I kept hopelessly clinging on to this fragile love that I had-- have for him. Everyone keeps telling me that I should let go and not bother to chase him anymore. In a way, I guess that they're right. I've been chasing him for about four years now. It's obvious that he doesn't reciprocate my feelings, but then again he does things that can make you think otherwise. His two-faced personality just drives me crazy sometimes.

It's funny though. He makes himself seem so tough on the outside, but really he's just a normal teenage boy on the inside. Even though he never does his homework, he still worries about his grades and making his parents proud. Even though he doesn't care which words come out of his mouth, he remembers everything he says to the people he's hurt with his words, and I know the guilt eats him.

I can see the good in him. He's not just a , even though he always acts like one and I'm always calling him that. I think that's what made me attracted to him-- the fact that he can be so strong but really he's just trying not to fall. Not only do I love him, but I admire him. I admire how he can be so confident, intelligent, and basically just everything that I'm not.

It honestly so much. I can't understand why he simply just doesn't like me. I probably sound so conceited and selfish, but that's just how I'm feeling. I also don't understand why I can't just let everything go. I keep putting myself through all of this pain and suffering because I want to be with him. I should be trying to push away from him and discard my unhealthy feelings for him, but I keep digging my own grave. I just can't stop loving him.

I can't describe it. I feel like time stops when I'm with him, but then it feels like it moves too fast and suddenly the day is gone. He just makes me feel so weird. I'm so in love with this idiot that it's confusing and painful and wonderful that I want to make it stop when at the same time I don't.

Ugh, help me.

"Sorry guys, I need to take a quick break," I pant, out of breath. My friends give me their approval before I push myself from the crowd on the dance floor and back to my table. 

"My. Feet. Are. Killing. Me," I shouted, not caring since the blasting party music thundered over my own complaints. Sunhi was able to hear me however and let out a laugh, patting the seat next to her. "Sit. You've danced every single song since the party started," she replied. I smiled. It was always so comforting to listen to her voice. She's kinda like my second mom. 

Sunhi sighed some, pinning back her bangs. "It's really hot in here. I'm gonna go get us some drinks okay?" she stated with a short smile before getting up from the table. I watched as her figure dissapeared in the huge crowd and sighed. 

The Welcoming Dance was supposed to get the new students to get to know each other, but I was doing the complete opposite. I was too shy to make any new friends. In reality I only knew about five people that were at the dance whom I was on a friendly basis with. I didn't bother to look for Mikyong. I lost her during one of the songs when she bumped into another group of kids. I didn't want to bother her.

Kai was here also. My god, when he walked into the ballroom in his suit and tie I think I died for a second. It shouldn't be legal for a boy to show up looking that cute, or else numerous girls would drop dead from a heart attack. I let out a laugh at how cheesy I was being.

"Aw, you're probably thinking of me."

I looked up, not realizing that anyone had sat down in the midst of my daydream. I blushed furiously as I saw that it was Kai himself. Honestly, I was seriously about to have a heart attack if he came any closer to me in the suit.

"I--" I tried to form words but only an odd croaking sound came out. I had forgotten that I was screaming and shouting on the dance floor, and now it came back to bite me in the . I whined at my own embarrassment, dropping my head as I forced an awkward smile on my lips. "Ah... sorry..."

Kai laughed, poking my forehead with his index finger. "Wow. At first I was joking, but that reaction totally gave it away," he replied, his eyebrows raised in amusement. I bit my lip, mentalling stabbing myself for letting my clumsy side get the better of me. "You obviously can't handle all of this y," Kai smirked, running a hand down his arm as he waggled his eyebrows at me. I laughed at his gesture, which earned him a slap on the shoulder. "Yah! Shut up," I giggled.

I sat back in my chair for a moment, letting my eyes wander over to the other students. Everyone was having such a good time. 

"Why are you sitting here talking to me?" I asked. I was supposed to keep that question tucked away in the back of my mind but I guess I kind of just blurted it out.

Kai didn't hesitate to answer. "Because you looked like a loser here sitting all alone."

I rolled my eyes. Typical answer. I turned my head to glance at him, only finding him to already be staring at me. I swallowed a lump in my throat.

"Why aren't you dancing?" I asked, realizing that he hadn't danced one song in the three hours that we were already here. Kai shrugged.

"Not really my thing. Maybe I'll show you my awesome dance skills the next time there's a party at this," he winked.

I grinned. Did that mean he wanted to dance with me? "Is that a promise?" I teased.

Without warning, he took my hand, locking our pinkie fingers together. "As a matter of fact, it is."

"Sunhi!"

We both sat up abruptly. I looked over my shoulder to see Sunhi bounce back to our table with two cans of soda. Jeez, talk about timing.

"I know you like Coke, so here!" She set the can in front of me, only then realizing that I was having a conversation with Kai. "Hi Kai. Having fun?" she asked him. Kai nodded and stood up from her chair, offering it back to her. "Yeah," he replied, then looking over to me. "I'll see you at school tomorrow Kimmy."

As soon as he walked away Sunhi popped open her soda and took a nonchalant sip. "What was that about?"

I shrugged, not able to hide the smile that was making my cheeks ache.

I blinked, not realizing that I had zoned out. "Right Sunhi?" Mikyong giggled, reaching over to tug on Sunhi's bangs slightly. She tsked, pushing Mikyong's hand away. "Yah! It's not nice to make fun of me. I didn't know you aren't supposed to do that!" she cried out, emotions of embarassment spilling all over her face. Mikyong clutched her stomach as she doubled over the table bursting in laughter. After she regained her composure, she leaned back in her seat and wiped a tear from her eye. "Oh my god Kimmy. You had to be there when it happened. I swear, the look on Sunhi's fa-- Kimmy, what's wrong? Your food's gonna get cold."

I blinked once more, my head turning down to stare at my food. It was completely untouched even though our lunch break started fifteen minutes ago. "Oh. Sorry. I was daydreaming again," I chuckled, picking up my fork and beginning to stab away at the cold chicken on my plate.

"Speaking of dreaming," Mikyong coughed, "nightmare at one o'clock."

I didn't turn my head to make it obvious. Instead, I tilted my head down and peeked to my right from under my side bangs. Mikyong was right, a nightmare was walking my way. It was Jeong.

She actually had the audacity to confront me. I'll give her props for that, but what exactly did she have to say to me? It was pretty obvious that we didn't like each other. So why was she walking over to our table looking like she had a mouthful to feed me?

"Hi," she stiffly greeted. I couldn't tell if she was trying to stand her ground or if she was so tense from fear. Either way, she was obviously not a people person. I let awkward silence sit in for a minute or two, letting the sound of everyone else's conversations in the mall cafeteria provoke the silence, relishing the tense atmosphere. I cleared my throat after seeing that she began to bite her lip. "Are you gonna sit down or are you just going to stand there with your head hanging like that?" I said, probing my fork in her direction. Jeong looked up at me with an uncertain glance before taking a seat.

Mikyong and Sunhi already got the memo that it was going to be a private conversation and they were immensely consumed in their own conversation-- which is how it appeared, but I knew they were listening to everything that we were saying. I smiled, counting the little tiny holes I had poked into the chicken meat with my fork. "So did you come here with something to say or are you trying to be my friend now?" I asked sarcastically. Jeong frowned. "That's obviously a rhetorical question," she replied.

I let my shoulders slide up and down slowly. "It is. Just go ahead and tell me off now or whatever."

There was the awkward silence again. 

"Please leave Kai and I alone," she pleaded.

Ohhhh. I smiled. This was going to be a funny conversation.

"And what makes you think that I did anything?" I responded, popping a pickle in my mouth.

"You--" Jeong started, unable to finish her sentence.

"I?" I repeated, leaning towards her slightly. She merely stared at me with wide eyes, probably thinking that I was a . "What did I do? Did I physically assault you? Did I orally threaten you or Kai in any way?" I continued. "Because I don't remember doing anything like that."

"No, but--"

"Then this discussion is over and we don't have anything to say to each other."

Jeong remained sitting, her lips now firmly pressed together. 

I was about to open my mouth to tell her to leave before she interrupted me. "Kai and I like each other very much and you can't do anything to change that. I'm sorry," she finally blurted.

I tossed my fork back onto my plate, watching it miss and bounce off the chicken and land on the floor. I tsked, "I'm sorry that you can't realize he's not as fabulous as he makes himself appear to be. But don't say that I didn't warn you."

Jeong abruptly stood up from the table and walked away, keeping her head down the entire time.

**Hehe. Kimmy's inner came out. This part was so fun to write! 

Sorry for the late update, but at least its longer that the last few. Hooray for progress! <3