(this song n this singer particularly, is just ugh....full of uber-romantic songs...) (and i just realized this is the 2nd Sunshine titled song i used for a Summer chapter...haa, coincidence much?)     "Kwanghee?!" I couldn't be bothered by the passers-by at the busy street near the subway station leading to my workplace, and grabbed his arm, or sleeve, anything I could reach at that moment.       "Oh, uhh...I'm sorry." My grasp loosened and my hands retreated by their ownselves, without the need to be directed by my brain. Perhaps, it's because this had become too common an occurence that my hand had learnt the reflex response without having to be reminded. I bowed a little and the confused, irritated frown soon disappeared in the sea of people.     Just another normal day. There's still yet any sign of him. I wonder if he's not even in this country anymore.    When I reached my working table inside the office, there's a white box decked with lavender coloured ribbon and heart shaped stickers scattered on top of the box. I only smiled wryly, not intending to open the box though I was curious whether it would be a slice of cake, or pie, tart, or sweet bread or cookies, inside the box today. All I know for sure is that, it's definitely something sweet. Yes, even this, had become a normal occurence for me, at least for the past three months.   I took the small card to read after settling down on my seat.   "Please eat this and don't give it away or throw it. Took a lot of effort to bake it. A sweet slice, for a sweet day ahead and a sweet smile :) From, your secret admirer."    Always the same cheesy pickup lines. I shook my head as my grin widened. Even though I already knew the content of the card which more or less would be the same each day, still it didn't fail to amuse me, just like any other day.   And as much as I felt apologetic to the person who worked hard to prepare those sweetboxes for me everyday, when I opened the box, I knew that I had to let this person down on this day. It was a slice of cake, prettily decorated with slices of mangoes on top. I could stuff in anything else out of gratitude, but not cake. Many thoughts of the past that never got rusty would go through my mind just at the sight of cake. Of what I could've done differently when I learnt about it, of regrets that just wouldn't budge an inch.   I took the box with me to the pantry to give it away to the lucky soul of the day. And who would the sole person in the pantry at the moment be if not her?   "Good morning."   Her already big eyes turned wider as she turned around from the coffee maker to face me with a slight bow, before her eyes trailed to the box in my hand. I knew it'd be such a jerk move to give this box to her, of all people, but maybe this is for the best for both of us.   "I happen to have this extra slice of cake. But I don't want it. Would you like to help eat it for me?"   "What?!...but..." Her usually muted voice around me suddenly came out loud and her face reddened. Naturally. I would be upset too, if I was in her place.   "Please." I smiled cordially, pretending to be unaware, or just plain ignorant. "Or should I give it to someone else?"   "But why wouldn't you eat it? Is...is something wrong with it?"   "I don't eat cake." I pushed the box towards her, hoping for her understanding and walked away until I reached the doorway and I turned back to her, who still looked every bit upset and speechless.   "But I did ate the other sweet things than cake. I ate them well all these while. Thank you, Erin ssi. And please don't uhh...trouble yourself anymore after this. Good day." I bowed and rushed out, though I could hear her faint protests or rather attempts to deny.   I knew it was her from the beginning. The boxes started appearing after I helped her preparing a problematic segment for the show she's hosting even though we never spoke before despite crossing paths often naturally since we worked in the same building. She worked as both TV program host and a part time DJ and entered the company about two months after I started. She was always fumbling and as a senior even by just two months, I thought it was my responsibility to help whatever I could, but then I started getting those sweetboxes, and one morning, I just happen to saw her placing it on my table one morning that I came in extra early to catch up on the extra workload I had. So I knew it was her though she acted as if she didn't know and didn't care.   If it was indeed for something else, other than just a token of gratitude, I guess it was the right thing to decline it in this way. She's pretty, bright, and cheerful even if a little awkward at times, and definitely deserved someone who could really appreciate her for what she is.        "Kevin, today we'll have artiste coming to record voice advertisement for the station. Actually he's coming to be Erin's guest for her talk show, but we're going to make use of his visit to get him to promote our radio shows as well. Think you can get hold of him? I've told his manager about it. I just don't want him to slip away."   "Well, okay then, I'll try my best. What was his name again?" It wasn't like I could give any other answer to my producer, could I?     Thus, when some commotion was heard, I rushed out of the office to lead the way for our celebrity guest. Maybe because I've never really handled any prime time show so far, I've hardly met any celebrities at all yet. So I didn't really know who or what to expect.   "Mr. JS?" I tapped on his shoulder. It had to be him. He had shiny black hair with very angular deep cut side-swept bangs and wore stylish clothings and those aviator sunglasses you'd see artistes wear on TV. So, it had to be him.   "Sorry, JS?" He gave a puzzled look before tearing off the sunglasses and laughed nervously, and scratching his head uncharismaticly, unlike his cool image just a few seconds ago. "JS is my artiste. I'm just his manager, my name is Lee Joon." He grinned and offered a handshake while muttering something that sounded like 'that bastard'.   "Sorry?"   "Oh...no, no. I wasn't directing that to you...just thinking of a friend who made me wear this embarrassing appearance to work. Aish...what was your name again?"   "Oh, I'm Kevin. You don't look embarrassing by the way, quite the opposite in fact."   "Yeah, well...embarrassing when people kept mistaking you as the artiste when you're just a manager or in other word, the servant."   I only smiled noncommittaly, wondering where the person I was supposed to look for.   "Uh, by the way, JS is supposed to have recording with you, right? There's some schedule changes and he's recording with the TV show first in that studio over there, so he will be a little late, if that's fine with you."   "It's fine. I'm free right now so I can wait."   "Yeah, maybe we can have some chat and coffee while waiting for him to finish."       That turned out to be the first of many of my encounters with Lee Joon as his artiste was offered to be a fix guest on the TV show that required them to pay trips to this building weekly. And another surprise I came upon was that JS turned out to be a fairly familiar face. And after pondering where I had seen him before for a couple of days, I realized he was that kid who almost got into a fight with Kwanghee when I followed him to the modeling audition - Lee Jongsuk. It was a good thing he didn't seem to recognize or remember me. What a small world we live in. This encounter with him actually made me want to continue living in bubbles of hope, that I will eventually meet him again too. And sometimes when I got home and straight away jumped onto bed in exhaustion, without even getting a shower nor taking off my working attire, heck even without turning the lights nor fan on, I would allow myself to savour the old times, at times even planning on how I would react and what I would do the day we meet again. One thing for sure, I wouldn't ever let him disappear from my side again. Either I would follow him around even if it'd cause me to lose my job, or I would secretly place a tracking device on him without him noticing so I'd know where he is all the time. And even if I am to take my yearly trips back to visit my parents, I would make sure to drag him along, even if he's still scared of getting on the planes like he once confessed.   Sometimes at the end of my trailing thoughts, I would hear my own laughter echoing in the quiet stillness of the pitch black surrounding. Laughing at my own silly imaginations that seemed so impossible. Just where the hell are you, Kwanghee-ya? I'm getting more and more tired of waiting or grabbing onto the wrong person, time and again. I'm tired of all those accusing eyes that kept screaming 'weirdo' to me. I'm tired of being disappointed.       It was just another blindingly bright morning when I reached my table and saw the same box as any other day. Even after the incident the other day, she stubbornly continued to prepare the daily sweetbox on my table. The accompanying cards have stopped eversince then, so did the cakes, but not the other sweet treats. This morning though, I noticed the small card have reappeared on top of the box.   "For a sweet day and a sweet smile. :)"   That's right. I couldn't make her give up. I'd just have my sweet breakfast with a grateful heart then, and hoped that the day would indeed be a sweet day.        "Yah...yah, Jongsuk-ah, you can't go meet him now. Come on, at least wait until you're free from any schedules."   "My recording for today is canceled. What other excuses are you trying to make? This is my free time, and I can meet whoever I want so bug off!"   I watched the exchange, trying to appear as uninterested as possible. It wasn't my luck to walked upon the corner where they were having their argument, and I hoped they were too preoccupied with their own conflicts to notice me walking by to get to my place from the broadcast studio.   Apparently my hope wasn't granted, as later on, Lee Joon appeared with a troubled smile and two coffees in his both hands, before my desk.   "I don't have anyone else to talk to...are you busy? I wanted to buy beers but there's none to be found in this building...so I could only bring these."   "Ahh, its okay. I don't really dri