(english translation: song title: Luminous Star by ByeBye Sea, sorry no proper lyric translation for this song but it's not hard to get the feels of it)         Things can really change unexpectedly so fast, even yourself, whether you like it or not. And promises can be so meaningless. It was last year, in the middle of winter frost, that I learnt those cold reality of life that made even winter's bite felt nothing.   It wasn't even a full year after I made the promise nobody would've taken seriously, especially not the person in question himself. Not even a year to prove barely anything, when I received a flight ticket to pay my parents a visit. The surprise came at a time I was feeling tired, exhausted, sick even, of all the pressures of being a senior high school student and had to cram in so much inside my head without being able to rest or having time for self. I guessed it's just a normal occuring of a student's life here.   So, a break is always more than welcomed. Especially an opportunity to unwind myself around the people that had been so far away for years and years already. My own flesh and blood parents. The thought of celebrating Christmas with them made me happy.     Who'd have thought everything would change with just a mere visit? Not me. And certainly not Kwanghee who nagged me the whole evening, of things he wanted me to bring back from Australia for his souvenirs, like kangaroo and koala plushies, Australian food and most importantly, Australian flower seeds to be planted here. When I told him I didn't know of the emblematic flowers, he made me surfed the internet with him to get a list of it.      "But those are Australian flowers, what makes you think they can live in the weather here?"   "Yah, idiot...why not? If you take good care of it, it can survive anywhere."   I was ready to accept that answer just as is, but then he added casually.   "Like you."     The thought that he was comparing his favourite thing to me, let alone the thought that he actually thought of me at the same time as flowers, made me couldn't help but smile to myself.   "Hey, idiot! I know you can't wait to go Australia but no need to grin alone here like a lunatic. Have you even written down all the things I mentioned?"   I shook my head slowly.   "Aish..." And he went looking for paper and pen to write down the things on his own.   How was I to know it was more than just a vacation? How was I to remember that I wasn't even meant to stay there, in Korea for good? How was I to be aware, that it was time for me to return to who I was, to the people who were my world, eight years ago, for good? How was I to know, that, that conversation would be our farewell?       It was when I reached my parents' home, they dropped the surprise announcement they were so giddy of, and had been having hard time to conceal it from me, and only told my aunt to pack all the important documents because I wouldn't be going back there. I didn't see it coming at all. But I was so happy when they welcomed me back with open arms and love, and welcoming me back, for good. I didn't have to go back to go through rigorous school and cold sense of detachment from my classmates. The moment I reached back my old home in Australia, I saw many changes, but the feelings remained the same. The sense of belonging was strongly felt, once again embracing me.   It was only later that night when I realized I wasn't lying down on the same bed I had been lying on for the past nine years, that reality hit me. Or maybe not even reality, but a strange portal of my life, where I was dumped to survive on my own, like withering flower without sunshine, water nor fertilizer, back at the tender age of nine. Left to wilt and rot alone...until a good person allowed me to be a part of his life, a part of his family, and cared for me. Until I grew tall and proud like a sunflower. The person who was probably waiting for the things he asked me to brought back to him when I go home. That's right, to him, my home is there, and at some point, I really felt that was my home too. But the reality is, the very bed I was lying on that night, that very room, that very different view from one I've let myself gotten used to, that very air I inhaled...those are my real home. I've reached home, back in Australia, safe under the comfort of my warm family.   Far away from Korea, from my aunt and her husband, from the school I never really felt attached to besides Archery Club, from my friend who was probably waiting for me unless he had been told by my aunt - Kwanghee, and his loving parents.       "I'll never leave your side...I won't let you wait again..."       Those promises I had told him became another strand of meaningless words.     Suddenly I felt difficult to breathe with ease. I felt choked by the air. Was I homesick? But this is home. Then, was I scared of how to go through the coming days, alone again? But...everyone who's important in my life is here. Well, everyone but him and maybe a few other people there. But...haven't I been waiting for this day, ever since I first came to Korea? To be back to where I belong?       I tried to explain to him through letters, he never replied even one, until today. I didn't have the courage to call him or contact him through online, too ashamed that I've broken my promise. but I did sent him the flower seeds he wanted that I could find, and the plushies. I had to remind myself everyday that it's time to grow up and not cling onto him all the time any longer. That he's just a phase of my life, that apparently had regretfully ended before I was ready, and that it was good that happened, because I'd never be prepared, if given the chance to take my own time. I tried to keep myself busy, to not think of the promise I made. Because the more I think of it, the more I'd feel like running away back to where he was, and continued living aimlessly except to accompany and watch him grow plants in his front lawn.     I kept telling myself I can make it through this. That this was the right thing and I just need to hang on there.     And just with those thoughts alternately occupying my mind while my body went searching for other things to kept me busy like finishing school, taking parts in activities like the school radio station and theater club where my entire concentration was required, making new friends, and later on, taking on a part time job, another year had passed.     When I received an email from Yoojin asking for my address and if she could drop b