spoiler: i messed up again. big time. y chapter alert. i'm so sorry if it came out so bipolar. well, i tried..and it got so long and out of control bleh. :/   two songs for this chap..cuz i can. n Kara's new song..the lyrics surprisingly almost fits so well in many parts ><         "Really thank you for coming and even singing for our wedding, Kevin. I really appreciate it. It was beautiful. You should just quit being a deejay and just debut as a singer instead."   "Erin Nuna even cried just now."   "Mir, shut up unless you want me to..."   "Well, I think that's enough." I didn't notice Erin was still holding both my hands in hers until another pair of hands removed them with a restrained smile. "We really appreciate it." He said cordially, to me. A jealous husband, already. That's cute, even if I still didn't like him.   "Have we met before by the way? You look kind of familiar." The groom suddenly whipped his head towards Kwanghee, who...was busy watching the stage, where an instrumental band was playing music at the moment and moving his head slightly to the rhythm. Im Siwan turned back to me and I only gave a shrug. It kind of hurt, a lot, that eversince I joined them after my performance ended, he hadn't spoken a word to acknowledge the fact that we know each other. Was I really that embarrassing? Maybe Mir was right. Maybe I should've went to the salon and get my hair done or something.   "Well, I have to go now. Congratulations again and have a good life, you two. Nice meeting you, kid." He shook hands with the couple and Mir, who rattled at being called a kid.   "Thanks for all your help, Kwanghee."   "No problem. Just know that you're married, make sure to treat her right and don't go back to your old attitude. Erin ssi, if he bullies you or anything, just let me know, okay?"   "Okay." She laughed.   "Hey! I'm not that bad, okay."   "Well, bye everyone. And I'll see you later, Kevin."   The laughter and chattering of the bride, groom and the noisy kid, turned quiet.   "Wait. You...know Kevin, Kwanghee ssi?" Erin was the first to broke the momentary silence.   "Yeah. My friend since school time."   "Is this the friend you gifted that..."   "Siwan-ah...I'm late already. Just shut up and take care of your wife, okay."     "Hey, umm...Mir, you...I'll go back on my own okay. Thanks for giving me a lift here. Bye Erin n Siwan ssi. Have a good marriage and honeymoon."   "But Hyung..."   I didn't wait for them to held me back with more interrogation. I was already late a few seconds at realizing what I had to do. I almost felt like worthless piece of crap when he was ignoring me just now. Even though he had done that countless of times. Yet even though it still hurt, my reaction had adjusted to be numb by it, used to it...that when a change came from him, it took me a few seconds to realized.     "Hey, why did you walk too fast?"   "You're the slow one, I thought I said, see you later, not now."   "Yeah, well...it's already later since the time you said it." I hovered an arm around his shoulders. "So, how did you went here? There's no public transport. And where are we going to now?"   It didn't take him long to remove my arm. "Yah, you're being weird, today. You drunk?"   I smiled and shook my head. He stopped at a car and unlocked the door.   "Your car?"   He rolled his eyes. "Borrowed, okay. You want me to send you back?"   "No. I want to follow to where you're going."   "Huh. You don't even know where I'm going to and yet...yah, stop playing around! I'll send you home."   "I said, I want to follow you." He rolled his eyes and muttered a 'whatever' the moment our eyes met.     The ride was long and he refused to entertain any of the topics I brought up and whenever he opened his mouth to talk, it would be to ask me to shut up so he could concentrate on his driving, unless I wanted to get into accident. Finally, I fell asleep.   And the moment I opened my eyes, he was no longer at the driver's seat, no longer in the car next to myself. But the windows were rolled open and I could hear the sound of crashing waves, the sound and smell of sea. And that, immediately got me out of the car. After locking the door, I went to join him, who was sitting in the wide open space on the beach, facing the sea. It was already late evening by then.   "So you're rushing to leave the wedding to go here and watch the sea?" I rubbed my eyes that still felt like they wouldn't open up properly.   "I told you to just go home. You're the stubborn one to follow. Regretting, now?"   "I would regret if I go home."   "Huh...yeah, right."    This time, I gave him all the silence he needed, yet even until the sun had set down, and the daylight replaced by dusk, he was still quiet. Until I had to be the one to give up, again.   "What were you thinking?"   "Regrets." After awhile he answered and took another few seconds before continuing. "It feels like I've wasted all my life, without doing things people normally would've done in their life. I wanted to go here today because I just noticed I've never done much in life. I never even went to the beach, and neither have I ever go do what other people do, like clubbing, travellling, you know...stuffs. And yet...even now, after I already came to the beach, I still felt nothing. I still felt like the amount of things I've been missing out in life hadn't decrease at all. Something had really went wrong somewhere. I don't even know if I'm regretting not going to the beach earlier when I could enjoy it, or regretting even coming today, seeing it didn't make me feel better about my life. In short, my life ."   "You know what? I always thought you're a complicated person, but I didn't know your mind is this complicated."   "Of course you don't, You're an idiot!" He pushed my head and laughed.   "Hey! Well...let's go find any stall for something to eat first and then I'll show you how you can enjoy the beach."   "Hah, as if you know any better. Yah, idiot. What do you know? You had only stuck by me for so long. You are no less boring than I am."   "Hey, don't be so quick to underestimate. Come on, treat me food first and then I'll show it to you. I dragged him up from the sands. The truth is, he was always right. Even then. I never went to the beach too, besides the time when I was small and could barely remember anything. I didn't know how to have fun by the beach or anywhere. I was just as boring as he thought he was, if not more. But there's no way I would admit all of that to him. No way I would let him win again. But was he regretting becoming friend with somebody as boring as me who couldn't lead him to have fun activities like other growing up people?    No. There was nothing to be regretted. Didn't he love gardening? Why would he feel inferior on missing out on everything else he didn't really love? But still...since we were already there, I wouldn't waste the opportunity that came by so rarely.     When we came back there, the sky had gotten completely dark. And there was just one spotlight placed not too near to the beach. There wasn't anyone at that part of the beach. Frankly, it looked a lot less 'friendly' or approachable than during the day.   "I shouldn't have left. The sea looks so much more frightening now after it got dark." He sulked, stopping next to the car's door instead of approaching back the beach. Somehow, his thought that didn't came out any different than mine, gave me such a surprise that I was again left speechless for a second, but then found myself pulling his hand towards the beach.   "Y...yah, I'm not that...desperate to play at the beach...let's just leave this place." His voice sounded so frail in comparison to the booming waves.   'Me too, feel scared.'   "There's nothing to be afraid of." I boasted. And once we're facing it, not knowing what else to do defeat the threatening sound and sight, I looked around for any stones and started to pitch them towards the sea, like how you usually see in dramas.   "They barely make any impact. Why don't you just yell instead." He giggled cheekily, while looking around for rocks to be thrown into the sea, himself, not seeming afraid anymore.   "You think I can't yell?"   He shrugged. "I said nothing. But you know what, Kim Jiyeob, watch the expert do it, and learn." He took off his jacket and threw it away, and shouted towards the sea. "I hate my stupid boring life!"   "Yaaaaaaaaaahhh!!!"   "People say you're beautiful but you're just scary, right now!" He yelled towards the roaring sea.   I stared at him in disbelief at the amount and volume of yelling he was able to come up with.    "Yah, it really feels great, you try it too, idiot!"   "Uhh..."   "Kim Jiyeob is idiot!!!"   "Hey, I'm not! Kwanghee has gone mad!!!"   "Nononono!!! He is! If he's not, he wouldn't let Erin ssi married Siwan!"   "What?"   "It's so obvious that she likes you probably even more than she liked her own husband. Friend? How could you let someone like that just be a friend?" He was no longer shouting to the sea by then, he wasn't even laughing anymore.   "So what if she likes me? Is her feelings the only thing that matter? Mine doesn't?"   "That's why I'm saying...you're idiot, stubborn. Kevin is an idiot!" He shifted back his full attention to the roaring sea. The activity that was supposed to meant as a stress reliever, somehow added even more burden on my chest. I took off my own tuxedo blazer and threw it towards the land and pulled away the bowtie I wore, threw it into the sea and then breathed in for as long as I could, before letting it all out. I bent down towards the water covering my ankle, scooped a handful and poured it onto him.   "Yah!"   "That's for calling me idiot on things that don't deserve to be called idiot. Just admit that you're upset that Siwan got married, to someone else."   He immediately duck down to the water and started splashing water towards me. "That's for digging your own grave, idiot."   "Same goes to you." I started splashing water as well. A war it was.       "Kevin, you're crazy. Do you realize we can fall sick tomorrow, because you're such a kid to play in the sea in the middle of the night? Gosh!"   "Same goes to you who's so matured, that you're all soaked in water yourself. Just look at yourself." I sneered.   "Yah, since when do you talk back so much? You're acting strange. Could it be...you're possessed by the spirit of the sea? He stared at the dark ocean, creases formed on his forehead as the fear growing on his face became visible.   I had to suppress the idea to laugh. Heechul's spooked out face instantly came to my mind hearing Kwanghee's thoughts on the change in my act. Frankly I felt jealous. Even Heechul could influence the way he thinks now. Something I could never do. It was one reason I had been acting out of my own real character. The normal Kevin would never unneccessarily play with water and wet his clothes knowing he didn't have any extra pair, because that would be a childish act that would only bring trouble to himself and other people if he fell sick the next day. The normal, good Kevin that was too boring even his best friend would ignore him.   That wasn't the Kevin I intended to be for that day, though. Now that I felt sure of myself, I needed to at least find out something from him, a confirmation of things I didn't dare to confirm on my own in fear of being wrong. I needed to achieve something at least, before the night ended, and if it meant I had to resort to this.   "Is that what you get from Heechul?" I raised an eyebrow.   "Yah, you're not Kevin! Somebody help me! This person is possessed!" He started jumping around and flapping his arms in panic. Okay, I did not see that coming. I didn't know he actually meant it, when he said he thought I was possessed.   "Yah." I covered his mouth as he continued mumbling. "Stop yelling. People will think I'm a bad guy. I'm Kevin okay...no ghost spirit. Just calm down, okay?"   He nodded and I pulled my palm away.   "Yah, you're crazy!"   I should've seen that coming.   "Yes, I am."   "Hahah, nice to see you admitting the truth for once." He clapped his hands and laughed cheerfully. No matter how ridiculous he looked, being all scared and jumping around at one moment and clapping happily with annoying remarks the very next minute, all with water dripping from his hair and his clothes, something about his childlike laughter and behaviour still hadn't failed to make me smile, even at that time.   "Yah, what's with that idiot face. Stop it."