My name is Choi Sulli. I’m 17 years old now. I’m living in Seoul city but 3 years ago, I lived in a small town. My childhood was there with so many beautiful memories.

          My biggest dream I becoming a successful actress. Just like any teen-ages out there, my life’s full with troubles. I have to worried about my learning, training and many other things. Actually I thought my life was the best because everything I wanted, I already had.

          But I was wrong because of just one thing…

          People said that I’m beautiful. Yeah, I didn’t deny that but I didn’t totally agree. When I was a child, I was really annoy when people around me always said like that. You know, I was just a kid. Being attracted by too many people wasn’t a good feeling. I even wrote in my diary back then: “Why people always said that I’m pretty. I don’t know why but I hate it”.

          Yeah, now when thinking back, I swear if someone can read it then there will be many people think I was such a rule girl. But I won’t care, I was just a kid back then, why have to be so seriously about the words saying by a little child ?

          Maybe looking from outside, you’ll think I’m a outgoing girl. But If you know what is really inside me then you won’t think so.

          It’s just that I can talk to anyone, but actually I couldn’t share my true feeling to many ones. I had just 2 best friends who were my childhood friends. I always told them everything that I couldn’t told to anyone else. They are Luna and Krystal, the most lovely girls I’ve ever known.

          I didn’t know why, but they always said that I was a strange girl who hadn’t any feeling to boys. It’s just right in some ways.

          I didn’t really like boys. I hated them because they wanted to make friend with me just because of my face or my popularity. Why every boy was so annoy, I couldn’t find out any honestly ones, expect just that only person.

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It was my last year at elementary school, everything seemed never change without that day………

          My life at school wasn’t really special, I was the leader of Acting club and people called me “Hot Girl”. I didn’t really like that nickname. Some girls even said – They envied with my popularity. Actually I didn’t think so. Everyone has their own talent. If I’m good at acting then others will be good at something else. We can be proud of ourselves. No one is better than everybody.

At that time, I was confessed by some boys. But all of them just was losers. Their love letters wer full of flashy words, all they could say were: I was so beautiful, I was a talent girl. ..bla bla…

          If I had loved someone, I hoped it would be a strong boy, who cared about his dream more than girls, who felt bad when they lost a game not a girl.

          Maybe of that thought, I couldn’t see any fine boys in my school.

          Actually, not every boys were bad. My school still had some nice boys.

          Onew – a boy who was the same class with me, he wasn’t really handsome but he looked really cute. He smiled a lot and always helped everybody. He was a clever pupil who was good at science – I was helped to do my math exercises by him sometimes.

          Taemin, honestly I didn’t know him well. We weren’t really close though we were the same class from the 1^st year. A strange boy, he didn’t talk much and seemed he didn’t really cared about girls. I’d never seen him talking closely to any girls. My classmates told me he hated girls. Really? A boy hated girls? It was the most interesting thing I ever heard. He had a funny hair cut, my classmates thought he was ugly and they called his haircut was bowl-hair. I didn’t think so, his hair should be called mushroom haircut, It made him look really adorable. Sometime he disappeared from my class to do something, such a weird kid. I thought he was nice because his best friends were all good boys. They were: Onew, Jonghyun – the best singer of our Music club, Key – a diva with a talent ability in fashion and finally Minho. Minho was really close with my idea boy. He was a hard-working one who tried his best in everything he did. He was the caption of Karate Team. Only one thing wasn’t matched – it was he is a Hot Boy.

          Honestly, I wasn’t close with those boys. There were just some conversations because I was the leader o a school club so I had many chances to meet them. But one of them I just had some uncomfortable situations. It was Taemin. I talked to him few times.

          The first, when I was hanging out with some girls at a bookshop, I met him there. At class, he seemed always alone. I thought it wasn’t right when people hated him, I didn’t see any thing wrong with him. So I said hello to him. I even smiled, I don’t know why but I really like smiling. It will help me less nervous when I wanted to talk to strangers. And I think smiling is the easiest way to make friends. So why have to mind?^^

          But it seemed my smile didn’t work with Taemin. He didn’t answer back, he just stood there and stared at me with annoy eyes. I guessed I made something wrong, maybe he didn’t like girls care about him. Ah, then it was worse when one of my friends talk bad about him: “ He’s really rude. How can he ignore u, Sulli. He have to at least say hi. It’s the main reason why all girls in our school hated him. He’s so unaccepted ”.OMG why could she do that right in font of him? It seemed he felt really hurt because of those words. Even I didn’t said those words but I brought that bad mood to him. Seeing his face, I could felt his sadness. If I’d had another chance, I wouldn’t do it again. Making someone hurt is the worst thing for me.

          The 2nd time when I was at school gate. I met him when he was walking along with his bike. He seemed hurry because his clothes were really mess. Pupils around stared at him with curious eyes. What the hell they were looking at? Let him alone! Did all of them never be late at school and didn’t have enough time to prepare. I don’t like when people caring to much about others’ life. We should respect to each other.

          Then I saw both of his shoes weren’t tied up. I pretended to tell him but I scared if I tell him maybe people will look at him again and joke about him so I left. Then suddenly I thought if I hadn’t said maybe he would fall because of his shoes. So I decided to turn my head back: “ Hey, Taemin… your shoes”.

He immediately sit down and tided up his shoes but he forgot his bike beside him so it felt off in the ground and caused a bid noise making all pupils around stared at him agian.

          At that time, looking at what he doing, it made me feel really funny. It was really cute when he did that, maybe he was confused but confused in cute way. Everything happened after that make me really regretted. Everybody laughed and making jokes about him. I was really angry, I just wanted to yell a loud: “ everyone, stop it! You shouldn’t do it”. But I couldn’t when I looked back Taemin, he didn’t say anything. He left without a word. I only wanted to help him but at the end I made him hurt more. I guessed he thought I said that to make fun of him. Now, he would hate me more. I knew many people hated me just because I was called Hot girl, with him it seemed he had enough reasons to do it.

          He is the only one among those nice boys, who I thought, I didn’t have good things in his eyes.

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          I had a strange habits. I usually thought about some characters in some movies I had just watched the pre-days. Sometimes I smiled in class when I thought about some funny lines. I had a big crush on acting so doing that isn’t really strange ,right ? But if anyone see me in that situation, they will think I’m really weird for sure ^^another habit of mine is  When I had free time I usually walked around school and watched everybody. It helped me know more about people, there was someone who’s really friendly but there was someone who’s really bad, too. Being a future actor, I should find out more about human, I thought so…..

          Then that habit helped me met one persons- the boy who made me fall in love since the first second. The one who made my heart suffer so many times, too.

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          On a windy afternoon, I saw him.

He was trying his best to practice. His clothes were all wet, maybe he practiced for a long time. I could see his belief in his burning eyes. It looked like to chase his dream, he could do anything. I really impressed at the moment he fell off. It was really hurt but he didn’t scream, he stood up right away without a word and continued practicing.

          It was everything I wanted to find out in a boy. Someone who spent all his life on doing what he wanted. Who wasn’t afraid of hurt, pain or even die, who would be happy when he could be who he is.

          I couldn’t take my eyes out of him. He looked really handsome and manly at that time, why didn’t I see that side of him before. Ah even his name was so beautiful…