Taemin’s POV

Yeah, here me again. A 17 years old boy with a story about my first love.

   Almost the time when I was at elementary school and even until now I always thought about dancing. Don’t be surprised ^^ I told u before, dancing was my eternal crush. When a boy loving something so much then they’ll think about it all the time. Just like Jonghyun, he always thought about his precious girlfriend, but to me instead of a girl It was dancing. Come on, a girlfriend can make u sad but dancing will never do that. It will make u feel stronger and more livable. So why shouldn’t I  love it ^^

Every night, thinking about how I could complete a difficult choreography made me feel really interesting. It made me feel I could be who I wanna be and my life wasn’t wasted . But … yeah sometimes in your life, u always have a “But”

…But hardly, I cared about girls, of course not all , it was just some “nice girls”.

Sometimes when I watched everybody around me, I realized some interesting things. I knew that Krystal was really good at singing. She often didn’t focus on teachers’ lectures in normal subjects and she even talked in class ,too. But when it came to music, she became a opposite one. She would listen to every single detail Mr. Kim ( my teacher) said and didn’t like anyone interfere with her. Such a funny thing ,right.

And Luna, she was really outgoing, she could talk to everyone in my class and she usually made fun with anything she could see.

Uhm, I wasn’t like her, I hated joking around , I more like reading book or listening music than that. But it wasn’t mean that I hated her. Being someone like her was nice, just ‘cause it wasn’t my taste.

The most attracted girl was Sulli. Until the day when we met each other at that shop, sometimes she made me think about her more than other girls (just a little bit but it made me surprised too). Some couple of times in my class, when I was bored and had nothing to do I looked at her. Actually, she didn’t talk much, she seemed really gentle because I’ve never ever seen her get mad at anyone. All she did was smiling, I didn’t get why she could always be happy so much like that. There were some times I saw her smile secretly in class because of nothing. She seemed live in her own world which was full of happiness. Ah, and I recognize that she was a popular girl in my school, too. Oh no it wasn’t even “popular”, I had to tell that it was “hottest”. Don’t blame me for didn’t know who was the hottest girl in my school. I already said I wasn’t interested in girls T-T.

Maybe because she was gorgeous and really modest so nobody could hated her. Till that period of time - my senior year of  elementary, I just knew that she was the queen of Acting club . How could I didn’t know that thing before, when every boys around me always talked about her ? So I found out one more thing about her, she had talent in acting and her dream was being a best actress. But I still didn’t figured out why I always thought about her. I guessed because she was the only one who didn’t talk bad about me and she was so beautiful ( yeah I’m still a boy not a robot ). That was all I could tell , nothing really special happened after that.

In studying, I wasn’t the best pupil but at least my lever in class was good enough. I never got troubles at school, there was no teacher favored me but there was no teacher hated me ,either. I think my life would just continued going on like that if it wasn’t caused by one unexpected day. It was at a winter night in October , I practiced too much till 3 o’clock in the next morning day. It made me wake up really late. I didn’t want be punished because being a loser was already enough for me. It was no need to make myself worse in front of everyone. I hurried took my bike and tried as hard as I could to go to school in time. Fortunately, there wasn’t traffic jam as usual so I had 5 extra- minutes before the bell rang when I came up at school gate. But when I was taking my bike along to park at the school’s  parking yard, everyone around looked at me with their wide eyes. I knew I didn’t comb my hair and my clothes were messy so my appearance at then wasn’t neat enough. But why did people have to stare at me like that. It wasn’t a big deal because I knew so many boys in this school were even worse than me with their untidy style. Then I saw Sulli, she was walking along with some guys. She passed me by but suddenly she turned her head back toward me.

- “ Hey, Taemin… your shoes? ”

-“ What? “ – I said and immediately looked down my feet  …

OMG, both of my shoes weren’t tied up and they were really dirty because I took wrong pair, they were my dancing shoes. Then I forgot my bike was right  beside me and sit down to tie them. “ BAAANG” my bike fell down on the ground cause I didn’t held it. Everyone turned back and laugh out loud. It was the most embarrassed moment I’d ever had. When I looked up I saw Sulli still standing there. She didn’t laugh but had something uncomfortable in her eyes. Maybe she thought I was a nut, a crazy dumb boy. That was certain thing everybody already told about me.

After that, Sulli didn’t talk to me or a least greet me anymore. Every time we had a chance to face to each other, we were always awkward and just walk away. I didn’t know why but It seemed she didn’t want to be near by me.

That was ok, right? I wasn’t interested in girls so why had to be sad by a GIRL? Even telling myself like that but I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I didn’t know why did my mind keep doing like that.

I used to practice with my team in every Thursday and Friday afternoons. Usually when I danced I wouldn’t care about anything esle around me. But in one Thursday afternoon, I saw her. She stood at far away from my place – school yard. At first I thought maybe she watched someone in my club because I saw her not on just one day, it was every Thursdays. I even thought the one she stalked was me because on one practice day, my club was cancelled for some reasons and only me who came to dancing alone.  The more important thing was she still came. It proved that she didn’t followed someone else in my club, it was clearly that she had some feeling for me. With that thought, I felt better, well it was the first I’ve had someone who thought I was cool. How couldn’t  I be happy for that.

But I was totally wrong. She didn’t come because of me. I didnt realize that she was standing next to karate class’s windows. One time, I took all my courage to take a look at her and…She didn’t face to my side. She was looking at something through that stupid windows ( sorry for the windows ).

Ah, how stupid I  was T-T . How couldn't I know every girl in this school loved all boys from Karate club. U know, they was strong and handsome too. They were the most attracted boys in my school. I had a friend – Minho, he was a member of that club and he was the most famous boy too. The sad thing was it seemed Sulli liked him, too. I saw one time when Minho walked out and saw Sulli. I could realize that she was so much nervous. I knew when she was nervous she always looked down at the ground ( Yeah, I watched her for along time and I knew that cute habit of hers ). That was it, when U have crush on someone, U can’t talk normally when u face to them. Sulli was the clearest proof. Suddenly I felt really sad, sometimes u couldn’t happy for your own friend when he was loved by the girl u liked. (Actually I still hadn't any special feeling toward her yet but somehow she became a girl that made me had to cared about).btw,  I wasn’t an angel, I just was a ordinary kid back then. Each time I saw Sulli stood around those windows, I felt really jealous. I knew I was so selfish, I should be happy for Minho. He’s really lucky when having a girl like her had a eye on him. Every time I secretly looked toward her ,she didn’t noticed me just a little, It liked I didn’t exit in her eyes. All she did was looking at just only one place, it was Minho’s practice room. I still remembered that time, because I wanted to know was it exactly that Minho was who she liked so I stopped dancing to walk near by her. Just when I could be closer to her, I said : “Hey, Sulli. What’re u doing”. I didn’t know why did I ask her like that and It was the worst thing I ever did. Surely she wouldn’t answer to me.

She turned back to me with a scared face and she run away. It proved that I made her shock. Ah, why did I do that, why I always wondered myself for everything I did in front of her  ? I guessed until that moment she not only hated me but also scared me too, because after that she always hidden from me when we near by each other. Sometimes I asked Minho: “Minho, recently do u noticed something at your practice room ?”

“ What , was there something wrong with my team” – that was Minho- an aggressive boy, if he found out s make any mistakes, he wouldn’t accept them.

“Oh,no. it’s not about your club, I mean …I mean..do u know Sulli ?” I was a really curious.

“ Ah, Sulli. I knew her, she was Acting club’s leader. A cute girl. Why ? what wrong with her ? ”

“Didn’t u know that she always stood outside your practice room’s windows on every thurdays? I saw her when I’m dancing near by.”

“Oh, I knew. I saw her one time when I went out to buy drinks. Maybe she liked someone in my club. Such a naive kid, right ?”

After hearing Minho said that I felt a little happy. At least she still didn’t confess to him yet. I knew it was wrong but sometimes being a bad guy was not actually really bad ^^. Seeing Sulli always watched Minho from far away made me really impressed. Even I’d never thought about love at that time but I’d already had a ideal girl in my heart from a long time ago. I wanted a girl who like a sunflower. Did u know the meaning of a sunflower? I read somewhere said that: Sunflowers’re the cheerful image, which always face to the sun and initiate the feeling of pure thoughts. Maybe like an innocent heart, always thinks about just one person. Anyone all over world, if they had a chance to meet a lover like that, then they’ll be the most  lucky person in this life. It was really suited with Sulli, who always looked at only Minho, always cared about just one person. I’ve never ever seen she looking anyone esle so deeply like that. Even it was a heavy rainy day, even it was a hard snow day, she still didn’t give up her habit. Even though Minho didn’t realize her feeling but she wouldn’t stop. Maybe in her heart, love was a simple thing when she could looking at the one she liked everyday.

Maybe I was selfish but having a girl who only care about me was the prettiest dream I ever wished.